episode_0001

It was an unwanted marriage.

For the family, it was a good thing. It became an opportunity to solidify our crumbling family through the union with the Duke of Iris.

But how about me?

I didn’t like it. Not at all.

“Marriage? Why would I do that?”

At the time, the idea of having a family to take care of felt like hell for someone living as carefree as I was.

I couldn’t sleep with women, nor could I drink to my heart’s content.

I couldn’t understand why I should willingly put myself in chains and restraints, even as much as a fingernail.

Moreover, wasn’t she mute when it came to the illegitimate child? It felt dreadful, as if my worth was plummeting.

But understanding the marriage from my perspective wasn’t necessary. Only the duty to the family remained.

So, four years after the engagement, we tied the knot as I graduated from the academy.

As the worst form of binding between the two families.

Of course, during that time, I continued to drink and carouse. If there was any change, it was probably that I no longer played around with women.

I had some sense of dignity, after all. It was a matter of maintaining at least a minimum level of decency.

During that time, she didn’t interfere with me. She always had the same expressionless face, as if she were dead.

But such days didn’t last long.

It seems that humans do mature with age. Five years after marriage, I finally looked at her properly.

The catalyst was her saving my life.

It was one night when I returned drunk as usual. Suddenly, the night air had turned chilly, and my body shivered.

As I walked towards the castle, I suddenly spotted her.

Unable to sleep, she was taking a walk in the garden under the brightly shining moonlight.

Her nightgown was thin, so it must have been quite cold, but as always, she had that dead-like expression, as if she felt nothing. Like a doll.

I didn’t like that expression. It felt like she was ignoring me for some reason.

To begin with, there hadn’t been a single moment when I had liked her.

Was that why?

Drunk on alcohol, I almost did something I wouldn’t do sober.

I wanted to see her expression change.

“Let’s surprise her.”

Even if she’s a human, she should at least show some surprise.

Unless someone put a soul into the corpse, it was bound to happen.

Holding my breath, I cautiously approached her.

Fortunately, the garden had tall grass, making it easy to hide.

“Just around this corner…”

That was the moment I intended to surprise her.

Suddenly, an intense pain started to grip my chest.

It felt as if someone was squeezing my heart tightly.

“Ugh-.”

Painful groans escaped my lips, and my body gave out.

The ground neared and soon met me.

As I noticed the commotion, I saw her approaching from the corner of my eye.

“Save me.”

I wanted to say that, but I couldn’t open my mouth.

I couldn’t even breathe freely; all that came out were strained gasps.

Desperate.

But there was nothing I could do.

…Was not being able to speak so terrifying?

At that thought, she began running towards something.

Terrifying.

She wasn’t moving to save me, but perhaps to lock herself in a room.

Considering my actions so far, it was quite plausible.

Engaged for 4 years, married for 6.

For a whole 10 years, I had ignored her.

Even if she left me to die, it wouldn’t be strange at all.

My lungs constricted from lack of air, my vision blurred, then darkened.

Am I going to die like this?

Is my life’s karma catching up with me?

Lost in these thoughts, I completely lost consciousness.

When I opened my eyes again, several days had passed.

“Your body is in bad shape. It would be best to quit drinking from now on. Otherwise, who knows when you might collapse again.”

The therapist, with a sigh, said.

The advice to quit drinking felt like a bolt from the blue, but it was no less than a matter of life and death.

Experiencing death up close, I had no choice but to realize it for certain.

…Let’s quit drinking.

However, what the therapist said next was even more shocking than before.

“You should be thankful to the host. If you had been a little later, you would have been in real trouble.”

“The host…?”

“Yes, you came here with injuries all over, as if you had fallen on your way here. You couldn’t speak and expressed yourself through trembling, showing desperation. Thanks to that, I could prepare quickly and come to help.”

It was unbelievable.

Why did she save me of all people?

For ten years, we were not even close to being husband and wife.

I pretended not to see her, and I’ve said harsh things while drunk.

So, leaving me to die would have been better from her perspective.

Even she, who always looked like she was dead, expressed desperation…

Anyway, it was hard to believe.

“For the time being, please don’t push yourself too hard. Absolutely no alcohol, and I will personally instruct the kitchen about your meals.”

“Okay…”

After finishing the conversation, he politely nodded and left the room.

Alone in the room, I lay on the bed lost in thought.

But no matter how much I thought, I couldn’t understand.

Why did she…

…save me?

It’s quite absurd that I, the one who was saved, am pondering this, but I wanted to know her thoughts.

It was the first time in 10 years since meeting her that I became interested.

Eventually, I sought her out to find the answer.

This was the second time. Meeting her sober.

The first time was when we were engaged. Even I couldn’t drink that day.

She was taking a walk in the garden like the day I collapsed. Sometimes she would stop and gaze at the flowers absentmindedly.

Of course, she still looked expressionless, like a dead person.

That she had a desperate look on her face was something I couldn’t imagine at all.

“…”

But why?

Her expression felt somewhat different.

If it had been the usual emotionless and dismissive feeling, I would have felt discomfort.

Even to me, it seemed ridiculous, but now it strangely approached me with charm.

Her beautiful blue eyes were deep and clear, as if they had captured a calm lake, and her pure white hair seemed to prove her innocence.

Her flawless skin was beyond words like “fair,” and the harmony created by her small, delicately placed features on her petite face was beautiful.

“Come to think of it….”

It was the first time. It was the first time I looked at her without all my prejudices.

I always thought of her as an obstacle in my life.

I felt ashamed of having a deaf wife.

But.

The truth is, I know.

The real shame is my own life, and I just turned away from it.

I never had the right to look at her in that way.

I was a pathetic guy, a trash husband.

As I gazed at her from afar, I could only grin, unable to call out to her.

What would I say if I called her?

Ask her why she saved me?

I think that wouldn’t be right for the person who saved me.

And I don’t even know what I should call her in the first place.

Not to mention her name ‘Luna’, I’ve never even said the word ‘Hey’.

So, while she was strolling through the garden, she approached me and bowed in greeting.

She was as expressionless as usual.

In that moment of pondering how to respond to her greeting, she passed by me as if she didn’t expect an answer.

At that moment, I realized.

…We are married, but we were nothing more than strangers.

From that day on, I started following her.

She spent most of her day working in the study.

Naturally, it was where I should have been, and the things I should have been doing.

After my landlord father passed away, I naturally realized why the family was functioning normally.

It was because she took care of everything while I was lost.

Even though it must have been difficult for her to learn due to her deafness.

Even though she was unfamiliar with the duties of a noblewoman.

I felt truly despicable, thinking about how she worked so hard while I was out drinking and carousing.

I almost wished I had died that day instead.

After finishing her exhausting work, she always headed to the garden.

Her expression always remained the same, but when she paused at a certain spot, it seemed as if she liked the flowers there.

And when she noticed me watching, she would come over and politely nod in greeting.

However, regretfully, I never returned the greeting.

If she had ignored me, I might have felt more at ease, but that wasn’t the case.

I was nervous.

At first, I had simply followed her out of curiosity, but at some point, I fell in love with her.

It seems like a natural course of events.

She saved my life.

Waited for me during my ten years of wandering.

Quietly took care of what I needed to do.

If knowing all that effort doesn’t stir up feelings, then perhaps that’s strange in itself.

The problem is, although I’ve met countless women, this is the first time I’ve felt this way, so I’m also lost.

Drifting while drunk.

Regaining my senses only to drift towards something else.

It was incomprehensible even to me.

But because I couldn’t remain a foolish man forever, I gathered the courage to speak to her.

I confessed everything that had happened until now and apologized to her. Even if I wasn’t forgiven, I had no intention of denying my mistake.

I even ate meals with her and slept in the same bed.

Even to me, it seemed ridiculous, but we only slept. I was so tense that I could barely even perform.

“Luna, what should we do about this?”

I started calling her by name. Much more frequently than before, I called her.

At first, she responded only with an impassive look and gestures, but somehow, she began to open up…

“This year, due to the bad harvest, importing grain takes precedence. Minerals will have to wait.”

We started having conversations in our own way. Although her expression remained unchanged and her words were few, there was no complaint.

I was even grateful. My actions were absolutely unforgivable.

However.

Was it a punishment from the gods for my sins?

The happiness that seemed like it would last forever didn’t last long.

“Mi…Milord! The Altrea Duke…!”

After I regained my senses, one year later, civil war broke out in the empire.