episode_0001

“At that time, I drew my sword and swiftly took down the cavalry of the Ousterburg Empire with a single stroke!”

Drunk on alcohol, I climbed onto the table in the tavern and raised my sword.

“Wow.”

As the sound of the sword being drawn resounded harshly, everyone exclaimed in admiration.

“And then, all of our musketeers followed me and drew their swords, taking down the cavalry one by one!”

“Hahaha!”

But not a single person believed my words seriously.

“Look at him, Fernang! You didn’t bravely step forward alone and fight with your sword, did you!”

My friend Rotus bravely stepped onto the table in response to my words.

“I’m telling you! When those cavalry came, trembling in fear, I fearlessly stepped forward and swiftly cut down the cavalry with my sword, haha!”

“Hey, distortion is not the right thing to do.”

“Distortion?! Fernang, you know better than anyone else! I am a hundred times braver than you!”

“I can’t believe what I’m hearing from both of you.”

Aramis, who was listening to our argument, threw a glass of beer and climbed onto the table.

“Huh? Isn’t it dangerous for the three of you to be up there?”

“What if it breaks? It’s more of a problem that all three of us are strong.”

Aramis dismissed my concerns as nothing.

Drawing his sword from his waist, Aramis stabbed it into the table.

“I’ll explain the situation clearly, so listen up! These two, I bravely drew my sword and tried to step forward, but froze in front of the cavalry and stood there shaking! Didn’t I kick you in the butt to get you to move forward!”

“Hey… where’s the lie in that kind of statement!”

“Lie? I can say it confidently standing in front of the Almighty.”

“No… can a former priest say such things?”

“I’m not a priest anymore.”

Aramis stuck out his tongue at me and laughed.

“Well, I don’t know who went out bravely first, but how did it go fighting the cavalry?”

A man drinking asked us.

“Well, we all drew our swords and took down the cavalry charging at us head-on.”

At Aramis’s words, the other drinkers shook their heads in disbelief.

“No matter how much you boast, if that many cavalry charged at you, you surely wouldn’t have come out unscathed, right?”

As one drinker questioned, the listeners began to murmur.

“Who are you standing in front of now? Aren’t you the protagonists of that story!”

“Hahaha! Yes, that’s right. Who else could it be!”

I raised my glass and spoke, and the other drinkers all laughed and raised their glasses.

“For all of us! For one of us!”

“Cheers!”

We shouted the toast and quickly downed the remaining drinks in our glasses.

“Ugh…!”

Creak!

At that moment, the table couldn’t bear the weight of me and my two friends, and its leg broke.

“Ah!”

“Ah!”

The table tilted to one side and crashed to the floor.

“Hahaha!”

The patrons of the tavern all laughed uncontrollably at our antics.

“Hehe!”

I got up from my seat and scratched my head, looking smug.

“Come on, now that you’ve seen something funny, you should have another drink!”

Another drinker brought me a bottle of beer and poured me a glass.

Rotus and Aramis also filled their glasses with beer.

“Wow… great! Let’s all toast again!”

“Cheers!”

After clinking our wooden mugs, the beer disappeared into everyone’s mouths.

Just as the tavern was filled with laughter and camaraderie, suddenly, villains burst in.

“What… what’s this?”

The soldiers who suddenly entered the tavern were stared at not only by me and my friends, but also by other drinkers.

“Phew! The smell of alcohol.”

A man wearing a feathered hat entered the tavern, covering his nose with a handkerchief.

The tavern owner hurriedly came out from behind the bar and approached him.

“Um… sir, is there something wrong…?”

“Of course there is. You ignorant fool. Do you think I, who could have been an administrator, would come to such a smelly place if there wasn’t?”

“Oh, I’m sorry.”

“Oh my, that insolent brat.”

Slightly frowning at my words, the tavern owner lowered his head in front of the man, who smiled satisfactorily and pulled out a scroll from his pocket.

“It is a royal decree from His Majesty King Angju XIV of the great kingdom of Elangse, stating that all alcoholic beverages produced in the capital will be collected and used for entertaining foreign envoys at the royal palace, so the tavern’s business will be suspended for a few days.”

“Ridiculous!”

At his words, Rotus stood up abruptly.

Clang!

As Rotus shouted angrily, the soldiers drew their rapiers.

“Close the tavern? Use the alcohol for entertaining foreign envoys?”

Rotus, unable to contain his anger, also drew his saber.

“Are you a lackey of Duke Orleang?!”

“Did you just call me ignorant?!”

The administrator, his face turning red with anger, trembled as he looked at Rotus.

“What are you doing! Quickly arrest that man!”

“Yes!”

The soldiers with rapiers drawn began to rush towards Rotus.

“Fernang!”

“I got it!”

At Aramis’s call, I nodded and went to Rotus’s side.

“Ha! The Three Musketeers!”

“Musketeers?!”

At the drinkers’ exclamation, the soldiers hesitated slightly.

“What… what? Musketeers?”

The administrator, surprised by the term Musketeers, seemed bewildered.

“Hey, can you guys really win against us in a fight?”

As Rotus cracked his neck from side to side and flexed his muscles, a cracking sound was heard.

“And if you dare to attack us, you know it’s a crime of insulting nobility, right?”

As I gently shook the sword in front of them, they all began to step back.

“Oh! It’s just bad luck that we’re falling back even though we’re not falling forward!”

The administrator, his face red, breathed heavily and rushed out of the tavern.

“Why are you just standing there? Quickly follow your superior!”

Artemis raised an eyebrow and asked, and the soldiers all sheathed their swords and followed the retreating administrator.

“Damn bastards, they should have left earlier.”

“No, more importantly, where do we go if the tavern closes?”

At my words, both Rotus and Artemis shrugged their shoulders.

“I don’t know either, the excitement is all gone because of that administrator. I wish he had asked us to sing a song before leaving.”

“Judging by his appearance, he doesn’t seem like he can sing. If he had sung, everyone would have gone crazy saying the taste of the alcohol was ruined.”

“Hehe, you never know.”

I laughed and grabbed a beer bottle from the table of another drinker.

“Huh?! That’s my drink…”

“Hehe… I’ll buy you a beer next time.”

“Oh… okay.”

“Still, it’s fortunate that only one table broke today.”

The tavern owner approached us with a sigh.

“You’re a lucky person.”

Artemis approached him and patted his shoulder.

“You…? Oh, yes, that’s right.”

Whether by his own will or not, the tavern owner nodded vigorously at Artemis’s words.

“If others were here, the tables and chairs would have been changed once a month. How civilized are we?”

“Hey Fernang, don’t we change them here every two months too?”

Rotus whispered to me.

“It seems like we’re really cutting corners these days, bringing in cheap tables and chairs because we can’t afford better ones. It’s no wonder they break so easily when we go up with such little weight.”

“Yeah, I noticed that too. After drinking, my stomach feels uncomfortable, and it turns out the chair I was sitting on was the problem.”

I thought that my back hurt because the chair wasn’t good, but I just nodded without pointing it out.

“Just stay as you are.”

I patted Rotus on the shoulder.

“Who is the man with unwavering loyalty and friendship? It’s none other than Rotus.”

Rotus seemed pleased with my words and patted his chest.

“I think I’ll have to go home and get some sleep after splashing cold water in the lively atmosphere.”

“What? You’re going home to sleep already? The sun is still high, are you done drinking already and going in?”

“No, I feel like I’m not handling alcohol well today.”

“You seem weak. Well, then we’ll drink hard for you too.”

“Alright, do that.”

As I tried to go home, Artemis stopped me, but I shook my head and walked out of the tavern.

Leaving behind the noisy tavern, as I was heading towards the inn where I was staying, I heard a woman’s scream coming from an alley.

I quickly sobered up from the alcohol and ran towards the source of the sound.

Following the continuous screams of the woman, I ran through the alleys and saw three thugs trying to intimidate a nun.

“Oh… have I seen such devilish bastards…”

“What the hell is this guy.”

One of the thugs, who was trying to strip the nun of her clothes, looked at me.

Then the other two also looked at me.

“Hey, go kill him.”

The three thugs hesitated, and one of them drew a rapier and approached me.

“I can’t believe a drunk like you is burning with a sense of justice and bothering us.”

“You… dare to try to rob a nun? You guys will just die today.”

I rummaged through my pocket and pulled out a musket pistol.

“Ugh, a gun?!”

The thug who saw my gun was startled and tried to crouch down.

But my hand was faster than the eye, and the flintlock was already striking the primer against the gunpowder dish.

Bang!

With a tearing sound that echoed through the alley, the thug clutched his chest and fell to the ground.

“Hah… nothing special.”

I blew into the barrel of the gun and put it back in my pocket.

“This bastard!”

Another thug tried to pierce my chest with a rapier.

I drew my saber, lightly dodged his attack, and then deeply cut his side.

“Ugh!”

Clutching his side, he fell and didn’t move after that.

“Hey, you! If you come closer, I’ll stab you!”

I wasn’t going to fall for such cheap taunts.

“Ta-da!”

I pulled out another pistol from my pocket and aimed it at him.

“Should I shoot you in the head with this gun? Or should I stab the nun’s neck with you?”

“Ugh…”

The thug started to ponder at my words.

“Oh… time is running out, hurry up and choose.”

“Ugh!”

The thug who was about to stab the nun’s neck pushed her aside and ran away.

Bang!

I shot the fleeing thug in the back.

“Ugh!”

He was hit in the back and fell to the ground, dead.

“Ah… are you okay?”

The nun, who was almost intimidated by the thugs, was saved by me and sat down on the ground, dazed.

“Thank you… what should I do to repay this kindness?”

“No, it’s nothing. I just did what any decent person would do.”

The nun stared at my face intently before unexpectedly planting a kiss on my cheek.

Startled by her kiss, I touched my cheek and looked at the nun with wide eyes.

“Please don’t stare at me like that.”

After giving me a kiss, the nun seemed embarrassed and covered her face with both hands, turning her head to the side.

“Um… excuse me…”

“Yes?”

“Could you… um… kiss me on the lips again?”

“What?”

Seeing the nun’s surprised expression at my sudden request, I realized my mistake.

“Oh… never mind. Just forget it.”

As I turned to leave, the nun grabbed my clothes.

“Just a moment.”

“Yes?”

“May the blessings of the gods be with you…”

The nun grabbed my shoulder, gave me a kiss, and quickly ran off down the alley.

“Well… today seems to be a lucky day.”

I thought about the nun’s face that I had just kissed, rubbing my lips. Even though I couldn’t see her face clearly due to being drunk, it seemed familiar, but I couldn’t remember where I had seen it before.

I pondered for a while, thinking it was just a passing encounter, and shook my head.

After licking the lips I had kissed and offering a prayer of thanks to the gods, I returned home and entered the inn room.

I should have cleaned the gun properly, but in my drunken state, I decided to just sigh and do it later.

I lay down on the hard bed and fell asleep, feeling a sudden heat rising in my body.

“Ugh… it feels like I’m going to die from the pain.”

My back hurt from the hard bed, and my body felt weak, as if I had caught a cold.

I threw off the blanket, sat up, and tried to take off my clothes, but it felt like I was being hit with a club all over my body.

Moreover, something kept getting caught on my chest when I tried to take off my shirt, which annoyed me.

Despite the discomfort, I managed to undress and felt a bit cooler, so I turned the blanket over and went back to sleep.

“I should go to the church in the morning…”

I tossed and turned in pain, waking up repeatedly due to the fever, hunger, and discomfort.

Morning finally arrived, but after a night of suffering, I felt drained of energy.

My body felt heavy, as if a weight had been placed on my chest, and even though the sun had risen, I could only stare at the ceiling with half-open eyes.

Knock knock knock

Someone knocked on the door of the inn room.

“Hey! Is Fernang in there?!”

It was Rotus, coming to take me out for a hangover cure.

“This guy, still sleeping like a log even after all these years in the army.”

Creak

Rotus broke the lock and entered the room.

“Ugh… that ignorant guy. Always breaking the locks.”

I sighed, expecting to be scolded by the innkeeper’s daughter, and looked at Rotus as he entered.

“Hey Fernang, get up from lying down and… oh?!”

As Rotus pulled off all my blankets and yelled at me to get up, he suddenly fell silent.

“Um… could you please put the blanket back…”

Even though he was a friend I had been through battles with for over ten years, I felt a bit embarrassed showing him my bare self.

“I… I’m sorry!”

Suddenly, the guy turned around and spoke to me politely.

“What’s up, Rotos? Why are you suddenly acting like this?”

“No, it’s not like that!”

Rotos seemed taken aback by my words.

‘Why is he acting like that?’

Ignoring Rotos’ sudden strange behavior, I struggled to sit up on the bed and fumbled around to find my clothes.

“I was sick with a fever last night, so I’m not in the best condition… Can you help me out a bit… huh?”

While searching for my clothes, I suddenly discovered two little bodies clinging to my chest.

“What is this?”

I muttered as I gently touched the bodies attached to my chest.