Episode 54 – Goddess
by Afuhfuihgs
*
The people of Flavis were all devout believers in the Goddess Church, yet at the same time, they were incredibly superstitious.
Sailors were especially so, but laborers including Hoveba, merchants gathered from all over, and even students from Aureo Academy, the empire’s top educational institution, quickly absorbed the atmosphere and believed in various superstitions.
Perhaps it was because the city of Flavis was situated so close to the overwhelming nature of the sea.
Rough waves, winds pushing the ships, mysterious sea creatures, ocean currents taking us to unknown places, etc.,
Faced with the whims of nature, a vast entity with whom negotiation and compromise were impossible, humans could only bow their heads and pray.
I found that strange atmosphere in the city very unfamiliar, yet also intriguing.
I simply regarded it as a very unique culture specific to regions bordering the sea.
However, at this moment, I could clearly realize that the most fundamental emotion underlying their culture was awe and fear.
Because that was the first emotion that swept over my entire body in the face of this immense divine being.
I slowly turned around towards the voice.
A giant, naked woman, radiating a golden aura from her entire body, was looking down at me with a benevolent expression.
The woman wasn’t even standing. Even though she was lying prostrate towards me, I had to look up almost vertically to meet her eyes.
Even though golden rays filled the entire space and poured into my eyes, it didn’t dazzle me at all; rather, my vision became clearer, and the surroundings only felt warmer.
Wait, warmth.
Holy shit, am I feeling temperature?
Even someone with absolutely no interest in religion would know immediately.
That the giant being in front of me was none other than the Goddess.
However, despite that benevolent smile and the thoughtful miracle that made even this rotten body feel warmth, my emotions were filled with fear.
Why? Was it because I’m undead? Or was I frightened by the strange phenomenon of suddenly teleporting here?
Or was it because I was afraid of being punished for harming an innocent person for revenge, self-comforting myself that it was the Goddess’s will?
Helpless, I craned my neck and looked up at those giant eyes.
Perhaps, I was afraid of inadvertently lowering my gaze to my normal eye level and committing the most unholy act of stealing a glance at the Goddess’s breasts.
Crazy, what am I thinking?
Feeling blasphemous even at my own thoughts, I asked a foolish question.
“… Goddess… -nim. Are you?”
“If you’re asking if I am the god you call Goddess and worship, then yes. I am that Goddess.”
The Goddess answered, chuckling.
The Goddess’s voice and laughter didn’t just resonate in my ears. It felt like they filled the space and vibrated through my entire body.
Come to think of it, where is this?
A space filled only with white, without a horizon.
It was a strange space where I couldn’t even tell if I was standing on the ground or floating in the air.
I asked again.
“Where is this? Why did you bring me here? Am I… dead?”
“Oh, Edward. You’ve become a body that cannot die, haven’t you?”
“… Yes, I have.”
Since the most effective way to drive out an undead, an existence that defies the laws of nature and never faces death, is to call a priest of the Goddess Church, the undead are weak in the face of the Goddess’s divine power.
I was afraid that the Goddess had brought me here to punish me for being undead.
But the Goddess said in a calm voice.
“And, brought you here? You came to my room.”
“What?”
“Yes, what did you want to say that you came to me?”
I didn’t understand.
If I didn’t want to meet the Goddess, and the Goddess didn’t call me, then why am I here?
I explained how I came to be here.
The Goddess listened to my words with interest, then flicked one of her fingers that was lying under her large breasts.
Then, a small golden grain appeared from somewhere and flew to rest on her finger.
No, it only looked small because it was in front of the Goddess; it was a mass of light the size of my upper body.
The Goddess smiled as she looked at the light sitting on her finger.
“I see. What an interesting story. Such things can happen with coincidences piling up.”
“… What?”
“You were truly loved, Edward.”
“… Huh?”
The Goddess smiled and rolled the light on her finger towards me.
I recognized the light that came close to me only then.
It was the divine power that had been dwelling within me ever since I was resurrected.
“It’s a fragment of me, but it has a very lively personality. It resembles a child named Mella,”
“…!”
“That child made us meet.”
“… Is that so.”
“Yes, Edward. You are the first human to come to my room in all this time and countless history. Of course, I will safely return you, but before that, let’s have a conversation. That’s what that child wanted.”
When I glared at the light rolling next to me, the mass of light trembled.
It seemed that this guy, who lived in my head and worried about me, had meddled in something and arranged this meeting.
I looked back at the Goddess and asked in a trembling voice.
“Are you not displeased with me being undead?”
The Goddess slowly shook her head at my words.
“You are human, Ed.”
“… No, I’m not.”
“Edward. You are comfortably and generously within the realm of humanity. Why do you think you are not?”
“… Well, my body is…”
“Edward. What do you think a human is?”
“…?”
I looked at the Goddess with a bewildered expression.
The Goddess looked at me and said with a smile like a girl looking at a cute kitten.
“The condition for being human is only one thing. Belief in good.”
“Good…? Belief…?”
“Yes. A very special and beautiful foolishness.”
I tried to understand the Goddess’s words, but I couldn’t understand them at all.
At least, in my opinion, humans were not good beings at all.
I recalled the miserable days I had experienced since I was ten years old, the countless pains caused by Robin’s greed, and the hellscape Jennifer had created just a few tens of minutes ago, and I retorted.
I was so dumbfounded that even the fear in my heart was fading away.
“I’m not a naive fool enough to believe such a fairy tale that humans are beings who believe in good.”
“Hehe, is that really so?”
“I’ve had too much pain to believe in such a thing. Things that I wouldn’t have had to experience in a world where only good things fill the hearts of humans.”
“I didn’t say that humans are good. Yes, as you say, humans are rather evil. No, are humans evil? Are humans the only ones who are evil?”
“…?”
The Goddess said to me in a soft voice.
“Unlike your arbitrary assumptions, I did not create humans. Of course, I didn’t create animals, plants, monsters, or even the Demon King. What I created was only the world, and all those things naturally arose and disappeared in the world I created. In other words, to me, both the hero and the Demon King are just the same life.”
“… Huh,”
I couldn’t hide my surprise as I watched the Goddess nonchalantly say things that would have turned the theologians of the Goddess Church upside down.
But the Goddess continued with even more surprising words.
“When I created this world, there was no such thing as good in this world. Neither justice, nor mercy, nor love, nor honor. Such things did not exist.”
“… Then does that mean the world is full of evil?”
The Goddess shook her head at my question.
“That’s not it either.”
“…?”
“Evil is just the opposite of good. How can evil exist when good doesn’t exist in the first place?”
I got a headache from the Goddess’s Zen-like questions.
The Goddess smiled and continued, saying that she would give a reward if I listened to the end.
“Well, one day, the beings called humans that appeared in the world I created began to believe in something called good that didn’t even exist in the world. That belief soon spread to all humans.”
“…”
“The humans’ belief in good and their desire to protect goodness made me, who was merely the creator of this world, their guardian. I don’t even have a gender, but they arbitrarily call me Goddess. Come to think of it, how do I look to you, Edward?”
“Uh… a giant golden woman is lying prostrate naked….”
The Goddess’s face changed greatly for the first time.
The Goddess widened her eyes and, with a surprised expression, covered her giant breasts that were pressed against the white floor and said to me.
“So that’s how you thought of me, oh my god, Edward. Did you even masturbate with the Goddess?”
“Ah, no, the Goddess statue I stole from a rich man’s house looked like that!”
At that moment, the Goddess’s body flashed and instantly shrank to a size similar to mine.
The Goddess’s naked body, loosely wrapped in a thin, transparent cloth, looked both sensual and sacred.
The Goddess walked towards me and said.
“So you were staring intently at my eyes. I didn’t even notice. I’m sorry.”
“L-Let’s get back to the conversation we were having.”
The Goddess chuckled and said, “Shall we?” and continued.
“Edward, even the evil people you speak of know that they are committing evil deeds, don’t they? They are aware of their actions as if they have deviated from the ideal rules and paths that everyone follows. Even though there is actually neither good nor evil.”
“So, it’s not about doing good deeds… it’s about believing in the lie of good that is the condition of being human?”
“Yes. If you can distinguish and feel good and evil, then whether you are undead, a Demon King, or a hero, you are human, Edward. Humans are always beings who believe in that great lie. The reason I bother to give divine power, a power, to a small number of humans is because that lie is admirable and beautiful.”
I thought of Mella.
Surely she would be pleasing to the Goddess, but what about Robin?
I asked with a hint of anger.
“Then why did you appoint Robin as a hero? What you’re saying makes it sound like good and evil are meaningless. Then Robin becoming a hero, me meeting an unjust death at that bastard’s hands, and me being deprived of everything I had, are all meaningless?”
“Uh-huh,”
I stood still, speechless at the Goddess’s concise answer.
“Don’t misunderstand, Edward. I didn’t appoint Robin as a hero. I gave the Holy Sword as a gift to the humans who created the concept of good, and the humans just handed it to Robin.”
“But you need a hero to catch the Demon King…”
“I don’t particularly want to subjugate the Demon King. It’s just that humans are using my name and power to eliminate the Demon King who threatens them.”
“Ha,”
It’s all meaningless.
That’s what the Goddess’s words mean.
Robin becoming a hero and me becoming undead are all meaningless, just coincidences that happened to overlap.
Why did this happen to me?
Why did such pain and misfortune befall only me among so many people?
There was a time when I worried about that.
However, the Goddess’s words that there is no reason were very futile and therefore cruel.
“Is everything that happened to me just a coincidence, not your will?”
“Like all the tragedies in this world. Rather, if I intentionally tormented you, would you be able to forgive me?”
“… No. I can never do that.”
The Goddess smiled.
Then she slowly came to me, brought her lips to my ear, and whispered.
Of course, unlike her actions, that voice was still echoing throughout the entire space.
“In other words, Edward.”
“…”
“Even if you take any revenge on Robin, I have no intention of stopping you at all.”
“…!”
“Even if you are consumed by anger and exterminate all of humanity, I’m totally fine with it.”
“… What… do you want.”
It seems that I, no, humanity, had completely misunderstood the existence of the Goddess.
Humans were neither the Goddess’s creations, nor her children, nor even her toys.
We are just beings who exist for a time on the world the Goddess created.
The Goddess tilted her head and answered my question, which was filled with existential fear.
“Nothing in particular.”
“Huh,”
“A person who enjoys watching a dog wag its tail doesn’t necessarily think, ‘Ah, I wish that dog would wag its tail a little more to the right,’ does he?”
“…”
“However,”
“What is it?”
“If you know all these facts and still plan to continue your revenge without falling into futility, I think I’ll like you a little more.”
“…Why?”
“I told you. I think the concept of good that humans have created is admirable. I like stories of rewarding good and punishing evil.”
I lowered my voice.
“… My life is not your toy.”
“Of course not. I didn’t mean to belittle you.”
“My life is… fuck,”
“It was a tragedy whether you look at it up close or from afar. But Edward. Please don’t forget.”
“… What”
“No matter what choice you make, you will always be human, so stop blaming yourself.”
“… What are you saying now!”
“If you think the cause of all the things that happened to you is Robin, then it’s okay to pour that anger into revenge. If you’re too tired and exhausted, it’s okay to stop taking revenge. No matter what choice you make, you haven’t done anything wrong.”
“…”
The Goddess smiled kindly and moved away from my ear.
Then, she slowly dropped the thin cloth she was wearing and said naked.
“It seems I’ve held you for too long. Besides giving oracles, this is the first time in my life I’ve had a direct conversation with someone, so I got a little excited.”
“… Why are you taking off your clothes…”
“Hehe, for you, the first ‘human’ to visit my room, I’ll give you a gift.”
With those words from the Goddess, the world was covered in flashing light.
Unlike the golden light that flowed from her body, this time it was an intensely bright light that was so dazzling that my pupils were tearing, so I tightly closed my eyes and raised my arms to cover them.
How long had it been,
I carefully opened my eyes at the solid sensation suddenly felt on the soles of my feet.
It was a space so dark that I still couldn’t see even though I opened my eyes.
“Where is this…”
[Ha! You’re finally back!]
[Yes, I’m back. Did you take good care of the house by yourself?]
[…]
I had somehow returned to the warehouse on the first floor of Robin’s mansion where I had grabbed the Holy Sword.
My vision was blurry, so I realized that I was still wearing the plague doctor outfit, including the bird beak mask.
It seemed that I had returned to the original state I was in before going to the Goddess’s room.
However, the Holy Sword I was holding had disappeared, and I was only holding the piece of cloth that had wrapped the Holy Sword in my hand.
What was the gift the Goddess was going to give me?
I inadvertently thought of the Goddess’s naked body that I had seen at the end.
And at that moment,
I realized what her gift was.
[… Don’t tell me you went to fix that?]
[Uh… congratulations.]
“… It’s up.”
.
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