Episode 47 – Gratitude

*

The armor Deborah was wearing was solid plate, and her trained arms were incredibly strong, but I could still feel a sense of coziness in her embrace.

I felt a bubbling sensation in my chest.

If I had a living body, my eyes would have welled up with tears, hot behind my eyelids, ready to burst forth.

I was taken aback by the emotions I was feeling.

I didn’t feel this way when I met Lara, nor when I met Mella.

When I met Lara, I was too disoriented to properly grasp the situation,

And when I met Mella, anger dominated all my emotions.

Perhaps because all the physical organs that express emotion were broken, I wondered if my heart was slowly breaking down as well.

But as soon as Master-nim came and embraced my head, I was as helpless as if I had been hit by a disarming spell.

Unable to hug her back or push her away, I just stood there blankly.

,Master-nim.

,What on earth happened to you, Ed…?

That wasn’t a question.

Her voice was filled with pity, not inquiry.

Pulling away from me slightly, she looked at my bloodless face with concern, so pale that it seemed blue in the moonlight streaming through the window.

,Ah, Ed…

,…

Frankly, I hadn’t expected her to react this way at all.

Who was she, after all?

Wasn’t she Deborah, the Knight Commander, also known as the kingdom’s guardian spirit to its enemies?

The year and a half of hellish training I endured with her.

The training schedule that doubled when I was caught gossiping about her with the soldiers behind her back never decreased until the very last day.

I was beaten and slashed like crazy,

But who knew she would miss me this much.

If I had known, I wouldn’t have gossiped so much.

Deborah released my hand.

She kept trying to say something but hesitated repeatedly.

Each time she saw my face, which had become so pale it looked almost white, unlike its slightly tanned past, she seemed to be reminded of the fact that I was undead, and as if she didn’t like that fact very much, she stopped whatever she was about to say whenever my face came into view.

I couldn’t bring myself to say anything rash in response to her behavior.

In the end, it was Ellie’s words that sorted out the situation.

,Ed… Could it be, Edward? That Edward-nim you’re talking about?

,Why are you using honorifics again, Ellie.

,…Oh my god, you’re the kingdom, no, the empire’s hero!

,…No, I’m not.

,…Huh?

,First, I need to explain what happened.

*

How many times have I put the truth about my death into words?

I couldn’t properly tell Lara because I was too out of it, and those two knew more accurately than I did in the first place.

In Mena’s case, Lara and Lily were there to provide additional explanations for any missing parts, so it wasn’t too difficult.

But now that I’m the only one who can explain, I finished my explanation in a very rambling manner.

Was it because of the emotions I felt in Master-nim’s embrace a little while ago?

Or was it because I was reliving the events I had experienced as I spoke them aloud, causing vivid anger and resentment to well up?

I couldn’t pinpoint the exact cause, but I tried my best to explain to the two of them.

I was worried that I might be showing too much emotion, but thanks to Deborah, the subtle tension between Ellie and me had already been greatly eased.

Since we were practically in the same boat, I finished my explanation with a bit more honest expression.

Ellie had her hand on her chin throughout my story.

Deborah’s face turned red as she heard about Robin and Jennifer’s misdeeds, and she trembled with clenched fists.

Ellie also seemed a bit surprised by the true story of the hero defeating the Demon King, which people had believed to be the truth for 20 years.

Well, in this empire, which had absorbed surrounding territories by riding on the achievements of the hero party, Robin’s story was like the empire’s creation myth.

Ellie, with her chin propped up, suddenly glanced at the window and said to me.

,Well, it was a very sudden and surprising story.

,Yeah. It is.

,But what’s most surprising is your method of revenge.

,…What?

,Turning Daniel into an undead is one thing, but are you really going to kill all of the hero’s children without exception?

I couldn’t say anything.

If it had been me until recently, I would have said yes without hesitation, but Lily’s story from a few hours ago bothered me.

Her request not to get used to cruelty remained in my heart like a thorn stuck in my throat.

Every time I think of Robin, every time I think of the peaceful 20 years he spent after killing me, I want to kill both his son and daughter.

But when I think of Lily, Dena, Banata, and Mella’s son, I question whether they deserve to be the targets of my revenge, and I question my actions.

So, I gave a somewhat cowardly answer.

,If necessary,

,…That’s a moderate answer.

A moderate answer.

Maybe so, but it was also the most honest answer I could give right now.

If necessary, I have no choice but to kill.

If it gets in the way of my revenge, I will kill, and if it is necessary to torment Robin, I will kill without hesitation.

Didn’t I commit even the terrible and impure taboo of resurrecting a human as an undead just because I wanted to see Robin kill his own son?

It wasn’t my intention for Dena to get hurt in the process, but I remember that I was very amused by the sight.

God, I was happily watching a girl who wasn’t even ten years old die.

Lily had every reason to worry about me.

,It’s almost sunrise. Baron, no, Edward-nim. Let’s part ways for today, I’ll come see you soon.

,…That’s good, but are you going to keep using honorifics? Just speak casually, Ellie.

,I was the one who said I’d let it go last time,

,Yeah, it’s weird for me to speak casually to a princess while the princess speaks formally to me.

,…Hehehe, is that okay? Oh, but there’s something I need to do first.

,…?

Ellie took two steps back from me.

Deborah seemed to realize what Ellie was about to do and took two steps back as well.

I stared blankly at the two of them, wondering what they were trying to do.

Deborah took off her turban and let her blue hair down.

Ellie smiled and opened her mouth.

,To the peerless hero who defeated the Demon King, the threat to humanity, I offer my gratitude on behalf of all the people and gods who have achieved peace and prosperity upon your efforts.

The two of them bowed their heads in front of me and knelt on the floor.

I couldn’t say anything and just stared at the tops of their heads.

I felt strange.

It felt like something important had been filled.

Ah, that’s right,

I was, in any case, a member of the hero party that defeated the Demon King.

Even with Mella by my side, the journey was clearly not easy, it was full of hardships, and even the ending was a mess for me.

And yet, I was the thief in the party who personally slit the Demon King’s throat.

I was the person who played the most decisive role in killing the Demon King.

20 years.

It was only after 20 years that I received gratitude for the trials and tribulations I had to endure to defeat the Demon King.

I looked out the window.

The sun was rising over the mountain ridge, beginning to brightly illuminate Sioranda.

From that mountain ridge, to the trade city of Plavis, from the walls of Sioranda to this back alley of Os Gravia.

It was the world I protected 20 years ago.

*

Mella stood in front of Robin’s office.

It was the morning of the third day since Daniel attacked Dena and Baron Salvier, and Robin hadn’t left this office once during that time.

Jennifer had also disappeared somewhere and was nowhere to be seen, and her son Edward, who had entered this office, only said that Robin had gone crazy, grumbling about whatever conversation they had.

Mella was worried about Robin.

How painful must it have been for her husband, whose most beloved son had been resurrected as the most hideous monster in the world and attacked people, and who had to kill him himself.

Mella could fully understand.

But he had a lot of things to ask and a lot of things to resolve.

Dena’s condition was only getting worse day by day, and she hadn’t been able to find a priest to prevent her from becoming undead, and Mella herself couldn’t get the words Robin had said that day out of her head.

His outburst, as if there was something she didn’t know.

A ominous certainty that she had to find out what it was filled Mella’s head.

,Let’s ask about that tomorrow.

Mella thought that Robin would be drunk and asleep at this hour, in the morning.

He’s only human, so if he only drinks and sleeps on his desk for days, his health will deteriorate.

Besides, we’re not as young and healthy as we were 20 years ago when we caught the Demon King.

Mella was going to have the butler put him to sleep in a room with a bed if she confirmed that he was sleeping.

Mella entered the office and called out to Robin.

,Robin, are you asleep?

,No.

Surprisingly, Robin was awake.

No, what was even more surprising was Robin’s behavior.

He was naked, stepping on Mella’s half-naked maid, Miemu, on the floor.

Mella couldn’t hide her shock and shouted.

,Robin!

,Why? You knew it too. Weren’t you tired of pretending you didn’t know? I was tired of watching you pretend you didn’t know I knew.

,…Oh my god, Miemu!

Mella’s maid, Miemu, was unconscious.

A thick, white liquid was flowing between Miemu’s buttocks and legs, which were clearly visible through her roughly torn skirt.

Moreover, there were bruises all over her body that hadn’t been there yesterday.

,Robin, are you out of your mind?

,Did you think I was drunk? No, I’m perfectly fine.

,Oh, poor Miemu…

,Poor thing, Mella. You know what? That maid seduced me a few years ago and had two kids with me.

,…

Robin walked naked to the cupboard, his genitals dangling, and took out a bottle of wine, pulling the cork out with his teeth.

The smell of alcohol and the fishy odor of sweat filled the room, strongly piercing Mella’s nose.

Mella was so shocked that she couldn’t even close her mouth.

Robin held the wine bottle and drank it whole, then opened his mouth.

,Mella. You’ve always pretended to live a good life, but you’ve never really looked around you. Did you know that?

,…Robin, how did you change so much?

,… Ha, hahaha.

,…Where did the old you go, the hero who saved the world? Where did the man I loved go?

,The man you loved is dead, Mella.

,What?

,Ed. That fucking Edward.

,…

,How much I wanted to burn down that Salvier flower field,

Tears rolled down Mella’s eyes.

The happy future with Ed that she had seen in her dream a few days ago seemed to flicker before her eyes.

If she had married Ed, no matter how difficult things were, she would never have had to see such a horrific and miserable scene as the one before her eyes.

Robin chuckled as he looked at Mella.

,You don’t know anything. That maids and noble daughters run to get the hero’s seed whenever they get the chance. That I know you still love Ed. You don’t know that I was originally this kind of person.

,…

,You’re kind, but you only know yourself. Your head is a Salvier flower field.

Mella tore off Miemu’s buttons and threw them at Robin.

With a crash, the wine bottle Robin was holding shattered.

Robin looked back and forth between Mella and the bottle in his hand, which only had the spout left.

It was the throwing technique that Ed had taught her to use in emergencies.

,… No, Robin. You’re wrong.

,What?

,I knew very well that maids and daughters were seducing you, and I knew very well that you were enjoying it and accepting it appropriately.

,…

,That I still love Ed? Maybe so, I still miss Ed. But when I decided to marry you. When you pulled me out of the guilt of Ed, I really loved you at that time. I thought it would be nice to be with you for the rest of my life. I trusted you! I believed you would make me happy!

,…

,I don’t know? Yeah, the only thing I didn’t know is that you might have always been this kind of person, but the Robin I know, the Robin who saved me, wasn’t this kind of person!

,…

,Tell me, Robin, what don’t I know? Why did you become this kind of person?

With Mella’s scream, silence fell in the room.

Only silence floated like dust in the room, and only Robin and Mella’s gazes crossed in between.

Mella’s tearful eyes met Robin’s expressionless eyes.

It was Robin who broke the silence.

,… Pfft.

,…Robin?

,Hahahahahaha!

Mella was dumbfounded by Robin’s laughter.

Robin was holding his stomach and cackling, wondering what was so funny.

,Get out, Mella. If you stay any longer, I might tell you what you don’t know.

,… What is it?

,I can’t tell you?

,What… what don’t I know…?

Robin looked at Mella silently, shook his head, and said.

,It’s no use knowing now, and you’ll never know anyway. Would you please leave now? Mella.

,…

Mella skillfully carried Miemu on her back.

She may not be as strong as a hero, but she was still a person who had walked the path to defeat the Demon King, so she had some physical strength.

Mella turned her back to Robin and left the room in tears.

It felt like all affection for the man she had loved as much as Ed, or perhaps even more than Ed, was falling away.

The sour smell coming from Miemu’s body on her back was accelerating that feeling.

.