Episode 238. Magic with Professor Im Sol! (5)

It had been a long time.

This feeling.

It was the first time I’d enjoyed the Magic Expo this much.

I was curious enough to wonder how it could be this enjoyable.

Of course, I knew the reason.

Only one thing had changed from the expo I visited before.

The presence of my student, Lee Hoyeon.

Perhaps because of that, Im Sol grew fearful of the approaching appointment time.

Because the promise with my student was [Spending the morning touring the expo].

‘My student seems to be enjoying it too, so maybe we could extend the time a little?’

For the first time in a long while, Im Sol decided to concede slightly.

Conceding to a student isn’t real conceding.

It’s merely one aspect of the tolerance an educator must show.

Thinking the same thing.

“W-well then…”

“Yes?”

Seeing Lee Hoyeon blink his eyes as if asking what was wrong, Im Sol felt a fluttery sensation.

Unnecessarily embarrassed, Im Sol avoided his gaze and continued speaking.

Trying hard to ignore her slightly flushed cheeks, she attempted to whine for the first time since becoming an adult.

“Anyway, today… I marked it as experiential learning. It’s not forcing it, if you’re okay with it. Yeah. If you don’t have anything else to do… …even this afternoon…”

In her own way, it was a task that required great resolve.

She had something to give up too, to the extent of postponing her magic research scheduled for the afternoon.

But before Im Sol’s words could even finish.

KWA-NG! KWA-GWANG! KUNG-

The sound of something exploding filled the expo hall.

People’s screams and the smoke from the explosions.

– Run! It’s a demon!

– Attack! It’s a terror attack! Where’s the defense team!

Lee Hoyeon, who had been concentrating on her words, also had his attention diverted to the surroundings.

“A, an attack. Professor!”

The expo hall became chaotic in an instant.

The pleasant atmosphere until just now felt like a dream.

Watching the scene, something snapped inside Im Sol with a ttuk- sound.

She raised her magic power.

Suddenly, this entire situation was irritating.

She didn’t like that her time with her student was being interrupted, nor that those mere insects were running rampant right before her eyes.

“…Annoying.”

Im Sol regained her reason only after finishing the entire situation.

Since she had eliminated all the causes that ruined her mood, she intended to speak to her student again.

Asking him to stay with her even in the afternoon.

But that was Im Sol’s thought alone.

Im Sol was the only one who remembered what she was just saying, even after experiencing such an event.

Looking up at Im Sol from the ground, people’s eyes held fear.

Her student, Lee Hoyeon, was no different.

Im Sol slightly closed her eyes and stepped onto the ground.

And she spoke to her student.

“Did you see everything?”

“…Yes.”

“…Did you perhaps hear everything?”

The words she had spoken when she lost her reason.

The recent event was slightly blurry, and though I don’t remember it exactly, it probably contained quite a few low-level curses.

“Uh… yes.”

Im Sol felt a slight distance from Lee Hoyeon’s words.

People who saw her full power usually had that kind of reaction.

“Professor. Um, you were cool. Really.”

Im Sol gave a slight smile at Lee Hoyeon’s words. But she could feel it.

Her student, Lee Hoyeon.

He has immense acting skills.

You could feel it when conversing with him.

Even though Lee Hoyeon hid many things from her, he barely showed it. It was truly acting skill unfitting for his age.

Until now, he had conversed comfortably with her, showing less aversion compared to others.

She didn’t want to say that all of this was acting.

That’s because Im Sol would become too miserable.

But there must have been some part of it.

There surely were times he accommodated her, even if he didn’t want to.

It was like that just now too.

Im Sol clearly confirmed the expression on his face after she used magic.

The expression of seeing a creature that shouldn’t exist in this world.

Humans, when seeing something they can’t understand with their experience and wisdom, can’t help but instinctively feel aversion.

And Im Sol had always received such aversion.

‘In the end, the reason they get involved with me must be my body, or their kind personality that makes them unable to refuse.’

My student, who is good at acting, is too kind.

Haaah.

Still, my student treated me kindly until the end.

I was so grateful that I wanted to lean on him, but I endured that feeling.

Everyone I had met until now hated my true self.

And yet, of all people.

The only student I thought my heart connected with likes even my true self?

Thinking that way was overly opportunistic.

“Still, I didn’t want to show it only to you.”

“…Professor?”

Im Sol let out a deep sigh and gave a self-deprecating smile.

“I put up a wall. It’s a wall that protects my pride and allows me to ignore others’ words. When that wall disappears, this is what happens. This is my true self that you just saw.”

Won’t they leave, even with this?

“I know. That I’m ugly, proof that I can’t adapt to society. Unable to even bow properly. The only thing I can do is magic, a monster. That evaluation isn’t wrong.”

Will they still like me, even with this?

“…”

“That’s why I didn’t want to show it only to you.”

My own trauma, which I had never spoken to anyone about for 28 years.

I confessed that to Lee Hoyeon today.

Im Sol herself could not know why this outcome occurred.

Swept up by the atmosphere.

Or perhaps the chance to speak was only now.

Or.

Perhaps it wouldn’t be so bad.

Maybe just one person would understand me.

Harboring a sliver of hope with it.

“…Haaah, Professor.”

Im Sol closed her mouth and waited for Lee Hoyeon’s next words.

I decided not to expect anything.

I definitely decided not to rely on others.

I resented myself for feeling this.

“Professor. Please don’t think strange thoughts. At least I never think that way.”

“…Then what do you think?”

“Huh?”

“What do you think of me. Im Sol, the magic user who is a social misfit and a monster… What do you think?”

Having spoken the words, Im Sol immediately regretted it.

It was a foolish act.

Too hasty.

From a student’s perspective, how embarrassing would it be.

Enjoying the magic expo, a terror attack occurred, then some crazy bitch single-handedly stopped the attack and then had a fit.

If I could, I wanted to turn back time.

I shouldn’t have done this right from the start.

It would have been best to just let it pass quietly.

Im Sol looked at Lee Hoyeon.

Hesitating, Lee Hoyeon carefully spoke.

“Professor is Professor.”

“…Yeah. Thank you.”

Giving a faint smile, Im Sol turned her head.

Now it’s the end.

The common answer returned from Lee Hoyeon.

Hearing the answer, Im Sol could only give a bitter smile.

To someone wanting praise, saying “You’re kind,” rather gives insult.

They must be frustrated by me, who doesn’t communicate well.

That means there’s no room for praise.

Who would continue to follow such a pathetic person as a professor?

‘In the end, my student too was the same.’

No, to be precise, my student too was ‘normal’.

Because he is different from my abnormal self, he is ‘normal’.

Im Sol rather wished Lee Hoyeon would leave quickly.

She hated him so much for being considerate of her until the very end, yet she was grateful.

“…Professor is ultimately the person named Im Sol to me.”

Im Sol slightly turned her head.

Lee Hoyeon’s eyes, without tension or caution, seemed to have let go of everything.

Holding onto the almost vanished hope, Im Sol began to listen to her student’s words.

“Someone who pretends to be an adult despite the small age difference.”

“…?”

Im Sol frowned.

Because she didn’t understand the student suddenly uttering strange words.

“And yet, like a child, they like sweets. They’re a strange professor who thinks they’re the most special in the world, ignores other wizards, and even entrusts important matters to a student.”

“What are you saying right now….”

Unpleasantness surged to Im Sol.

She began to hate the student who had been thinking that way all along while pretending to be close.

Was it all acting?

Was it truly a relationship that was only comfortable for her?

About to get angry, Im Sol could only shut her mouth at the following words.

“But that side of you is cute.”

“…W-what?”

And she opened her eyes wide.

On her face, where the unpleasantness had disappeared, bewilderment filled the space.

“The way you smile brightly after eating chocolate, the way you rejoice after finishing magic research, the way you are more sincere than anyone else during magic class, even while saying others can’t understand. It’s all cute.”

“What are you saying. You, you really…!”

Im Sol couldn’t hide her bewilderment.

The student suddenly spouting strange words was too unfamiliar.

“Someone who has pride in being the most capable wizard in the world, yet feels burdened by it. Someone weak who calls themselves a monster, yet hopes someone will comfort them. I like Professor Im Sol like that.”

“S-stop it. Please….”

What if someone overhears?

She tried to cover her student’s mouth with her hand, but her hand wouldn’t move as she willed.

“Kkuhk, keuhk… Kkuhk.”

After acting like that, Lee Hoyeon bursting into laughter alone made her resent him so much that Im Sol intended to get angry.

“You, you really want to get scolded? There’s a limit to jokes. This isn’t a joke, it’s just unpleasant, and, uh… ugh…”

But strangely, she didn’t get angry either.

What she felt at this moment was embarrassment, a flushed face, and a racing heart.

Even Lee Hoyeon tightly grasped Im Sol’s flustered hand.

“Professor, what I want to say is.”

Binggeul binggeul.

The world seemed to be spinning.

Lee Hoyeon’s hand holding hers was so hot it felt like it would burn her.

“Don’t push yourself too hard. I don’t mind if you do strange things. That’s also because you’re Im Sol.”

“I, I…”

Duguen. Duguen.

The words swirling around in my mouth wouldn’t properly connect.

I felt like I couldn’t breathe, and my chest felt fluttery.

Clearly, I wanted to say something, but I couldn’t open my mouth.

It felt unfair, and I felt like I was about to cry.

I want to speak,

but my heart prevents me from speaking.

Watching Im Sol’s lips move slightly, Lee Hoyeon gave a slight smile.

“You don’t always need to be the best. Just because people call you a monster, you don’t need to grind your teeth and research magic to show them what a monster is. You should also go out and rest sometimes. So what if you’re a social misfit? If it were a group where everyone was lacking compared to me, I’d abandon them too.”

Hearing Lee Hoyeon speak with a sheepish smile, Im Sol thought.

My student knows nothing.

About what I’ve been through.

About what I’ve thought.

Human Lee Hoyeon knows nothing.

Someone who lived comfortably can never understand the life of someone who lived hard.

That’s why they can cheer, and say “Cheer up, it’ll get better someday.”

It’s selfish behavior, thinking only of themselves without considering that person’s feelings at all until now.

Im Sol hated such people.

And yet… she didn’t want to blame Lee Hoyeon.

Im Sol just opened her mouth as thoughts came.

“For me, there’s only magic… I’ve only known that my entire life.”

Hearing Im Sol’s answer, Lee Hoyeon inwardly let out a sigh of relief.

Still, it flowed as expected.

Persuading a woman who knew nothing but magic her whole life was difficult, but we shared emotions that much.

Although it was a short time, he was the only person who understood Im Sol.

The accumulated affection points proved that.

I can probably persuade him this much.

“I’m here for you.”

“…”

“I’ll help you. So you can do whatever you want to do.”

Hearing Lee Hoyeon’s words, Im Sol closed her mouth.

As if contemplating something, she looked at the empty air, then looked back at Lee Hoyeon, and looked at the empty air again.

At that sight, Lee Hoyeon tilted his head, but Im Sol was trying her best to endure the trembling of her body.

Duguen. Duguen.

‘W-what is this. Why am I like this.’

I couldn’t endure my heart’s pounding.

I had to answer those words, but words to answer didn’t come to mind.

Im Sol recalled a conversation she once had with Baek Ahyoung.

‘Ahyoung. When you’re with someone, every time, your heart pounds, and when you think negatively about them, your chest aches – that’s love.’

These were the words she replied with while teasing Baek Ahyoung, who said her heart pounded every time she thought of that person, and her chest ached when she thought negatively.

Now was exactly that situation.

When I look at Lee Hoyeon, my heart pounds, and when I think about answering his words, I get too nervous.

As if it wouldn’t allow a negative answer, my brain seemed to be holding on tightly.

‘Wait a minute, this isn’t right. This isn’t right. Really.’

Im Sol wanted to protect the final line.

She was a professor, and Lee Hoyeon was a student.

Baek Ahyoung could argue she’s a nurse, but Im Sol was truly a professor.

For years she had been in academia, and her school evaluations were always perfect; she was a professor with pride in her own way.

Im Sol too was aware of the distance with Lee Hoyeon getting closer and closer.

That’s why she deliberately started calling him ‘student’ to keep distance.

Calling him by name felt too mentally close.

It was Im Sol’s set upper limit.

If they got any closer, they wouldn’t be teacher and student anymore, but something more.

In the end, the words Im Sol finally uttered after continuing the fight with herself in her mind looked incredibly foolish.

“I, I am a professor. And you are a student.”

‘I’m screwed.’

Im Sol squeezed her eyes shut.

She gave an answer completely unrelated to the flow of the conversation.

How much will he think I am foolish?

Meanwhile, seeing Im Sol like that, Lee Hoyeon laughed it off as if finding it absurd.

This person is doing it again.

What does being a professor mean?

Just because someone is a professor doesn’t mean they don’t struggle, and just because someone is a student doesn’t mean they are always beneath the professor.

‘Despite the small age difference with me, you know.’

Anyone looking would think I’m really old.

Lee Hoyeon replied with a laugh at Im Sol’s strange words.

“Anyway, please don’t say things like that again. Okay? Professor? No, Sol-i noona.”

Just like always.

He used the playful nickname called Sol-i noona, which they used when teasing each other or when grateful.

And hearing those words, Im Sol opened her eyes wide.

Pung-

Something inside her burst.