Episode 130 – Friend

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Stepping off the wall of Voldiras’ mansion and leaping powerfully, I glanced back one more time at the garden where Mella was before completely clearing the wall.

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As expected, Mella was also looking at me.

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The gazes of the two of us, meeting for a moment, were soon separated by the wall that rose between us.

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Like the deep footprints left beneath my feet as I landed, a lingering feeling remained deeply in my heart.

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It was a truly terrible fate.

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My numerous flaws and her numerous flaws.

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All those flaws, under the fate that drove our story to a sad and grotesque end, caused a huge chemical reaction, and we were helplessly burned by each other.

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Yet, the reason why she and I couldn’t completely give up on each other, despite the terrible burning pain that felt like the skin of our souls was burning, was because we knew that our flaws would not have been a problem at all if Robin hadn’t been there.

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If fate had been just a little less cruel, the meaningless assumption that we could have lived a smooth and happy future like interlocking gears, filling each other’s deficiencies, flickered before my eyes.

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That cabin, those children.

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That possibility, forgotten for a while, briefly flashed before my eyes.

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But now, that sight no longer developed into lingering feelings in my heart.

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Like footprints that disappear just by rubbing them out, I easily shook off the lingering feelings in my heart as well.

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It’s over.

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To me, Mella was now just a past lover.

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I’ve heard that the past is sometimes glorified into memories.

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Someday, when I think of Mella, when I think of the time with her, if I can laugh and say that we really loved beautifully back then, that’s enough, I sincerely thought as I turned my back on Robin’s mansion.

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Entering the alley where I parted ways with Ellie again, I took off my mask to avoid people’s eyes and put on a wide hooded robe that I had hidden in advance.

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After pulling the hood down as much as possible, I came out of the alley in the opposite direction from Robin’s mansion and mingled with the crowd.

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I was sure I had shaken off my lingering feelings, but for some reason, I felt like I could already hear Mella’s voice.

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Not that cracked voice, but her clear and beautiful voice from 20 years ago, like the sunlight was sparkling.

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[Oh, Ed… ugh,]

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[Stop crying already. Please.]

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It wasn’t a delusion.

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*

For some reason, the annoying noise of these parasites living in my head had not been heard for a while.

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I wasn’t sure if something had happened, or if they were considerate of me because they were worried about my messed-up mental state, but I just went with it because I desperately needed the inner peace I had regained after a long time.

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In fact, looking back on my condition over the past few days, it was already extremely unstable, and if I had been exposed to the bullshit that those morons were noisily spouting, I might have thrown away revenge and everything else and put my head in a meat grinder.

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But now that I’ve cleared up my lingering feelings for Mella, I even felt happy to hear their voices after a long time.

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‘Why are you suddenly showing up and acting like this when you haven’t said anything until now.’

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[Oh my god, Ed. Can you hear us?]

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Ulgaros’s voice was mixed with desperation and joy, which was out of character.

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It was a raw reaction that threw away even the dignity of the Demon King.

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I was dumbfounded and replied.

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‘I can hear you because I’m talking, you parasites.’

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[No, shit. I couldn’t hear you no matter how much I talked all this time.]

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‘What?’

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[We kept talking. Or rather, I kept talking, and that one kept crying.]

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‘Crying?’

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Behind Ulgaros’s voice, the sound of sacred power sobbing, holding Mella’s voice like a nightingale from the past, could be heard.

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Ulgaros sighed and said.

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[At first, I thought you were just ignoring us, but it seems like you really couldn’t hear us.]

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I was surprised by Ulgaros’s words.

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If they hadn’t considerately spared me, could it be that my subconscious had blocked their voices on its own?

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I didn’t know that my head had such a wonderful function installed.

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Well, if even a little bit of stress had been added to my extremely vulnerable mind, I might have struggled to die somehow, so it might be a kind of survival instinct, like when I blocked my feelings for Mella.

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Ha, it was a ridiculous joke.

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Survival instinct for an undead,

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Is it because my spirit is alive even though my body is dead?

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I smiled bitterly and asked Ulgaros.

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‘Since when was it.’

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[I think it was from the moment I heard that the Saintess was pregnant.]

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‘Then… that makes sense.’

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[Huh, did you need a rest until you recovered? You have a terribly weak mind. Do you know how much I suffered during that time? One was crying, the other wasn’t answering, this damn body.]

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Feeling the deep fatigue mixed in with Ulgaros’s lament, I couldn’t bring myself to laugh and nodded slightly.

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Just as I, freed from the pain of the body, had been helplessly suffering from the numerous burdens placed on my mind, I could fully understand that even those who were bound to me in a soul state without even a body could have a painful time.

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I listened to her sobbing voice and asked.

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‘…Why is she like that?’

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[…I don’t know. She doesn’t answer me.]

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‘Since when has she been like that?’

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[Same. From the moment I knew the Saintess was pregnant, or rather, from the moment you emotionally collapsed completely, she had been sobbing non-stop.]

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‘…’

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[Considering her existence, it’s only natural.]

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‘…Sacred power?’

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[…Ed, why don’t you talk to her? I’ll step aside.]

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‘How can you step aside, when you’re parasitizing in my head?’

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[I mean I’ll shut up. You idiot.]

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In the middle of the chaotic street where countless people were swimming by, I stopped walking and looked up to find a quiet place.

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Finding a small park nearby, I slowly moved towards it.

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Unlike the street, the park, which was sparsely populated, had overgrown, unkempt grass.

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There was a greenhouse in the corner, but it was also unmanaged, so the glass windows were covered with moss, making it impossible to see inside.

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Passing by graffiti with various obscene contents on the stone wall built to surround the promenade, I sat on a bench in the corner that was particularly out of sight.

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Was it because I came to a quiet place?

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The sobbing voice was heard even more clearly than before.

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[…Ugh, *keup*,]

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It was a voice that seemed to be trying hard to hold back tears, but it didn’t seem to be working.

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Feeling the breeze blowing from somewhere ruffling my hair, I closed my eyes.

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‘Why are you doing this.’

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[E, Ed…]

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‘Yeah, I’m listening.’

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The voice sobbed and struggled to utter each word.

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[I’m really… sorry.]

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‘Why are you sorry? What are you.’

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[Ed… already knows.]

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‘…’

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I know?

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Well, I couldn’t be sure.

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Maybe I was pretending not to know the conviction that came to my mind.

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The voice that had been heard since the first time I opened my eyes after being cut by Robin’s Holy Sword was exactly Mella’s voice that I remembered.

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But, I had never considered that voice to be Mella.

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It was because I couldn’t give up on her, who existed perfectly in reality.

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“Ha, I feel sorry for Lala.”

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Now I could understand why Lala had shown such a desperate attitude.

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I had never admitted it, but Lala, who had been watching me from the side, knew.

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Even if I died and came back to life, even if I became Robin’s wife, I had been looking only at Mella from the beginning.

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I couldn’t accept the end of our relationship, which I hadn’t welcomed on my own will.

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Lala accurately pointed out my true feelings that even I had turned away from, and only now that I had completely let go of my lingering feelings for Mella, I realized how much my words and actions had been inconsistent until now.

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And acknowledging all of that, and letting go of all my lingering feelings for Mella, I nodded at the words of the voice sobbing in my head.

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‘Yeah.’

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[I am the heart she left behind. A heart that worried about you, and hoped that you would return safely.]

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Now I know very well that it was just a plot planned by Robin and Jennifer to kill me, but what kind of heart did Mella, who didn’t know that at the time, send her lover who was entering the Demon King’s castle to assassinate the Demon King, leaving her behind?

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She desperately stuffed prayers and blessings into my body for over an hour, hoping that I would somehow come back alive and well.

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Tragically, I didn’t end up coming back alive, but the prayers and blessings she left me remained in my body and caused countless miracles.

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It helped my journey towards revenge countless times, and it also saved her daughter and niece.

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But what she left in my body was not just sacred power.

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Of course.

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The sacred power of the Holy Sword, burning white with fierce momentum inside me, couldn’t say anything.

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Only that golden sacred power, which was gradually being consumed and was now almost extinguished, was speaking through Mella’s voice.

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Mella’s heart when she sent me away at that time… to be exact, it was because it contained worry and concern, and hope.

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That’s why this sacred power seemed to react as shocked as I was whenever I saw Mella with Robin.

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What would it have been like to watch the future self betraying her lover in the worst possible way, and to helplessly watch the lover in pain at that sight?

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The moment I saw Mella and Robin sitting in the banquet hall, embracing each other, all this Mella’s voice could do was repeat meaningless apologies.

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The moment I finally realized that Mella had a new child with Robin in her womb, this voice began to sob from the moment I saw my shattered heart, which probably would never have been fixed without the help of Deborah and Ellie.

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I couldn’t hear it, but even at the moment when I saw the complete farewell between me and Mella a little while ago, this voice would have been pained by the unfulfilled, faint ending.

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[I, I didn’t think it would be this kind of future…]

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‘…That’s right. I didn’t know either.’

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[Ed, I’m really sorry. For hurting you so much.]

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‘It’s not your fault. It’s not Mella’s fault either.’

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[…Thank you. Ed]

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‘…Thank you.’

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[…Are you feeling it? I, I don’t have much left.]

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‘Yeah,’

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I felt it the moment I was healing Mella’s wounds.

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That Mella’s, the golden Saintess’s, sacred power was not much left,

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When I think about it, it was only because Mella in her prime had poured her heart and soul into it for an hour that she had been able to endure until now.

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Even if Ulgaros doesn’t want it, when this sacred power runs out, my body will gradually begin to be taken over by the Demon King.

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The end of revenge was approaching.

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Not just the plan, but the physical time limit was also approaching.

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[Ed.]

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‘Why.’

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[Do you still want to die?]

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‘I’m tired.’

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[You can’t die.]

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‘…’

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[Even if it’s not the way I’ve been hoping for, please be happy.]

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‘Don’t leave a will already.’

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[Promise me.]

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‘…I’ll think about it, I’ll give you an answer before you disappear, so don’t worry.’

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[…Ed,]

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‘And, if I don’t make you use up your power, you won’t disappear for the time being, right? Anyone who hears you would think you’re disappearing tomorrow.’

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[That’s called emotional overreaction]

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‘Shut up, Ulgaros’

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[…]

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[*Hoop*…Okay.]

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I got up from the bench.

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The imprint of my butt was left on the dust that had piled up on the bench.

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I grumbled and brushed off the dust on my robe.

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Ulgaros spoke to me.

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[It seems like you’ve completely shaken it off now, right?]

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‘I don’t know, maybe’

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Ulgaros made a groaning sound at my brusque answer.

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[Hmm, honestly, I wanted you to kill and destroy everything and jump into a vortex of enjoyable conquest and war together.]

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‘That’s why you’re a Demon King and a demon, and I’m a human.’

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[Ha, human. Even in that state?]

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I smiled slightly at Ulgaros’s scoff.

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At that moment, I remembered the Goddess’s words that I had seen sometime ago.

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‘Yeah, just like that damn Goddess said. Even in this state, I think I still want to be human.’

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[…It seems like you’ve completely decided what to do from now on,]

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‘Yeah, that thing you suggested before, I’m going to refuse it.’

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Ulgaros said to me in a rather serious voice.

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[…When the Saintess’s sacred power is consumed, and I leave your body as well, you’re just an undead. Of course, you can be in a human body if you have the Holy Sword, but your essence is still a demon. You can’t get old or die. If you get hurt, you can’t get treated either, because all sacred power will be poison to you at that time. Regardless of whether you consider yourself human or not, you won’t be able to mingle with people]

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‘If I have nowhere to go, I’ll be in your care.’

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[Ha, so you don’t want to be on my side, but you’re asking to freeload? Even with the Holy Sword that can kill me in your body? Are you completely crazy?]

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‘What’s wrong with that? You said I’m your friend, isn’t that what friends are supposed to do?’

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[This bastard has a completely thieving mind.]

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‘I got robbed.’

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[Ha,]

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Ulgaros let out a hollow laugh as if he was dumbfounded.

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I raised my head.

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From the beginning, the Hero’s party was composed of women who would become Robin’s wives.

I entered in between for political purposes.

Robin, who was bothered by my sudden intrusion,

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I remembered the truth that Jennifer had revealed to me before she died and said bitterly.

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“Thief, from the beginning, that was the role that suited me. Maybe I was punished for dreaming a dream that was beyond my means. If I think about it that way, a mere thief became a hero who protected the continent, so maybe I’ve been doing pretty well so far.”

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[Ha, you’ve become humble, which is out of character,]

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‘A thief even made friends with the Demon King.’

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[Haha, I don’t know. Do as you please.]

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‘Thank you, Ulgaros.’

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I moved my feet to leave the park and said.

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“Robin, the end is in sight. It’s not much left. It’s time to end all this bullshit.”

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*

Lala, who had returned to the mansion, was standing in Ed’s room.

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In her red, bloodshot eyes, the turbid pupils, like dots, seemed to be swirling with thick lines.

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Lala was stabbing her fingernails like daggers between her tightly closed lips and chewing them.

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“Why… why… why…”

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Lala couldn’t calm down the scene that came to her mind.

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Ed kissed Mella.

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Why?

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He said Mella wasn’t allowed for me either.

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In the end, only I wasn’t allowed.

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In the end, he just hated me.

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Then why did he lie like that?

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Ed lied to me?

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Lie?

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Why? To me? Ed? Lie?

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That can’t be.

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There’s no way Ed would lie to me.

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Then what was that I saw?

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Are you stupid? Are you an idiot?

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I was deceived. I was deceived. I was deceived.

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Only I’m not allowed, only me, always only me,

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What if Ed’s wounds are healed someday?

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Ha, even after a hundred years, a thousand years, I’m not allowed.

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Ed hates me.

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No, no, no, he said he loved me

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That’s just as a friend, you stupid bitch.

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No, no, no, no, that’s not true.

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What kind of man pushes away a woman he loves who comes at him naked with a chain around her neck?

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No, no, no, no

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Admit it, you idiot. You saw Ed kissing Mella with your own eyes.

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Why isn’t Ed coming? He left the mansion before me. Why isn’t he here yet?

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He’s probably having sex with Mella. People who love each other are united. How beautiful is that?

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No, no, no. I hate it. I hate it, hate it.

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Ella Lala, Lala Lulu, wake up already, you lost. Just like Mella said. A loser who can’t be loved by Ed.

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No, no, no.

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Yes.

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Mella,

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Mella seduced Ed. How disgusting. Even though she has Robin’s baby in her belly.

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She spreads her legs to anyone. It’s disgusting, it’s dirty, I can’t believe I married Robin to save something like that, my life, give me back my life.

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How do you get your life back? How do you turn back time? You idiot.

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Then, what do you want me to do?

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You have to take back what you can get.

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Life? Life?

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Life

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Yes.

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It will have to be repaid with blood.

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Lala picked up the bow.

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The power to pierce Ed’s abdomen, the one that made Rose fall to her death, the one that could hit even from a very long distance, the one that had always been Lala’s strength in moments of crisis,

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It was that longbow, the size of a person.

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