When Spring Blooms – 4

Summer passed, autumn went by. And so, winter arrives.

When the cold winter passes, a new spring will come.

I think of us as seeds buried in winter.

Like seeds enduring the chill of the cold winter, spending time in the soil.

Braving the harsh storms with our whole bodies, and gaining hope to live another day.

Just as we cannot say that all seeds will sprout, so it will be with us.

And there are those that sprouted first, bloomed, and withered.

And there are those who are only now buried in the ground, waiting for spring.

Emma.

I don’t know how long it took to read this.

And if you are reading this, you will realize that the writing I did with you,

is not a masterpiece that will remain in history, but a letter to just one person.

I can’t presume to guess what you look like now as you read this, but I think I know this much.

You are still thinking of me, missing me, and wanting to see me as soon as possible.

Is it an excess of self-consciousness? I wish it were.

As I write this – that is, in the past for you – Emma, you are sitting in a chair five steps away from my desk, watching me.

Do you know that it’s really cute how you glance at me as I write?

You may think I didn’t notice, but I have at least some sense.

Did you receive the letter from Ricardo?

If so, you must have read everything written there.

Did you stay overnight at the inn in Rown Village?

The newspaper said that the inn’s window faces the entrance of the village, and the scenery is very beautiful when you open the window on a moonlit night.

Did you see the Victory Monument?

It was built to commemorate our country’s victory in the war, and it is said to be quite tall. I don’t know if you realized how tall it was.

Did you find the Grandia Eleanor Cathedral?

The cathedral, which has been under construction for 40 years, is said to make people feel sacred from the moment they enter, according to those who have visited. Emma, I hope you felt that too.

How was your meal at El Pio?

According to the tourist guide, the meat melts in your mouth and the alcohol is quite sweet. I don’t know if you fully enjoyed the taste.

I dare to guess.

Emma, you probably went to all the places I told you to go, but you didn’t enjoy everything I told you to enjoy.

You must be racking your brains all day long to decipher these strange letters.

How beautiful the scenery is, how delicious the food is, how the history of this country has flowed…

These are values that are not important to you now.

Knowing that you would act that way, I had no choice but to do this.

Because I hoped that, just in case, even if it was just a little bit, you would find a reason to live in this world.

Because I know that if I die, you will follow me.

I had no choice but to lie.

Even to the point of making the ridiculous lie of a great novel.

At first, I thought about filling this manuscript with meaningless letters.

But, if by chance, coincidence, and Divine Doctor’s plan, the day comes when you understand these letters.

If what I left behind is nothing more than meaningless writing, no different from what a madman would write….

Because I could see how great your disappointment would be,

and how quickly you would give up hope in life….

So that you, who have come to know all these truths, can settle down and live in this world.

I want to carefully convey to you, one word at a time, with my will, my heart, and my love.

Emma. You have taken care of me for a long time.

But now I only remember the time I spent with you recently.

So I’m sorry that I can’t talk about what memories you and I have made.

But I can say this for sure.

The half-year or so I spent with you was a really happy, peaceful, and reflective time for me.

I want to thank you for giving me this time.

So I wanted to give you something in return.

I wanted to give you a reason to live in this world even without me.

Although life is a series of irrationalities and sufferings,

I don’t know why this happened to me, and I think that if I had just endured it for a little while, this wouldn’t have happened.

You may be stabbed by a sudden misfortune and fall, or get caught up in an absurd incident and have everything go to waste.

In order to achieve something, you have to sacrifice yourself, and what you tried to do well may grab you by the neck.

I wanted to let you know that life is still worth living.

Emma. Just as winter always comes, so does spring always come.

If you wait a little longer, winter will pass.

You may not know when the snowstorm will stop right now, and you may be shivering with cold to the bone.

But spring always comes.

When spring comes and the flowers bloom.

You will completely forget the cold that winter gave you.

Emma. Don’t despair because it’s winter.

Spring always comes.

Your time and mine has come to an end with a farewell.

I am the sunset and the fading flower.

You are the rising sun and the flower just budding.

There is no need to be tied to someone who is passing by.

I hope you find your life now.

Open the door of the old mansion and go out.

Meet people. Find love.

Leave here the days when you were taken in by an unknown gentleman and devoted your life to him.

See, eat, smell, and feel new things.

Surely, you will find a reason to stay in this world.

Now it’s time to end the story.

I’m planning to send a letter to Ricardo tomorrow.

Because I feel that the end of my life is coming now.

Death is something that never gets easier, no matter how much you experience it.

Emma. Laugh, love, and dance.

This is my last wish.

Waiting for the blooming spring, Kang In-ho.