You Look Like a Man, Member – 1

–

Hana: Oppa, do you have time?

–

Me: No, I don’t. Why are you contacting me?

–

Hana: …Are you very angry?

Don’t act all sentimental, you bitch.

–

Hana: It’s been a while since we talked, hasn’t it?

–

Hana: I think there was a misunderstanding. How about we talk over dinner at the restaurant we went to last time?

–

Hana: I’ll pay this time.

Oh, really?

As I was pondering how to reply to this absurd message, Hana, impatient, called me.

Should I answer or not?

It seems like she needs something. If I leave it, she’ll keep bothering me.

I slide the screen with my finger and answer the call.

I put the phone to my ear and remained silent.

[Hello?]

It was the first time I’d heard Hana’s voice.

Honestly, setting aside my personal feelings, it’s not a bad voice.

Though it’s probably a fabricated one.

“…Why did you call?”

[Oppa, are you very angry?]

“No, I’m asking why you called. I have no intention of having dinner with you.”

[We’re not at a point where we should end things like this. I think it would be good to meet and clear up any misunderstandings.]

I finished my workout well today and was about to go home in a good mood… but this woman keeps provoking me.

“Misunderstanding? What misunderstanding?”

[Well…]

“I don’t plan on marrying you anymore either. I won’t bother you anymore. So, let’s just end it here.”

[Oppa, listen to me.]

“Listen to what? I lifted Barbell over 50 times today, what more do I need to listen to?”

[What are you even talking about?]

“Never mind, I know you don’t want to be involved with an old guy like me, and I won’t be clingy anymore. So, let’s just live our lives without bothering each other.”

[Oppa! Is that all we are to each other?]

“Of course, that’s all we are. You were just trying to get Coins and sponsorships by being friendly with me anyway. Let’s not act like amateurs.”

[Do you have another woman?]

“Woman, what woman. I’m just quitting because it’s all dogshit. I’m hanging up? Don’t contact me.”

[Oppa? Oppa!]

I took the phone away from my ear, about to press the end call button, when I heard her desperately calling me from the other end.

Whatever. I pressed the red square button and put my phone in my pocket.

-Ping

“Ah…”

My head spun, and my vision turned black.

Dizzy.

Feeling my head spinning, I slowly bent over.

Vertigo. I don’t think I spoke that strongly, but I must have gotten excited and my blood pressure rose.

It’s not surprising. Since I possessed this body, it’s been happening about once every three days.

If I hadn’t started exercising sooner, I would have really died. Well, I guess it’s because of this body condition that I ended up possessing it.

I’ve been working out hard lately, so it’s been quiet, but seeing it relapse like this, I need to be careful.

“I shouldn’t get involved with Hana as much as possible.”

Thinking about what happened before, I get heated up without realizing it.

“Ugh, what a mood killer.”

In a terrible mood, I returned home, and the house felt even bigger today.

Someone might like the large square footage, but when I see this desolate living room, I feel a sense of emptiness.

Trivial things that I usually overlook bother me.

It’s all because of that bitch, Hana.

“Ah… I can’t keep feeling like this.”

I know myself well.

When I’m in a bad mood like this, I start looking for something to eat.

To be precise, I start looking for something ‘delicious’ to eat.

In this case, I’ll probably open a delivery app.

Eating delivery food might lift my spirits a bit, but the problem is the next day.

Garam will know exactly what I ate and will make me work out like crazy again.

In other words, Garam will kill me.

–

Garam, what should I do if I suddenly want to eat something after coming home?

–

Just eat and work out that much more, right?

–

…I don’t think that’s a good idea.

–

Then, try taking a walk. You’re probably looking for food for psychological reasons rather than because you’re hungry. If you calm your mind by taking a slow walk, you can usually overcome it.

“Yeah, let’s go out. I’ve only been going back and forth between the center and home. Let’s go with a feeling of looking around.”

It’s supposed to rain, so I’ll take an umbrella and go a bit further today.

Walking along the Han River wouldn’t be bad.

Alright, let’s drive to the Han River.

The sky is gloomy today.

Clearly, I thought yesterday was the best day, but in just one day, it became the worst day.

The last two weeks have been too happy.

Boss Inho was a kinder person than I thought, and he worked out hard.

He’s different from the other members who only come for a few days and then disappear.

So, I got a little excited and made him work out even more.

It must have been hard to handle at the age of forty, but Boss Inho is keeping up well.

A center that I sweep and clean alone. An empty center where almost no one comes except me.

The loneliness that comes from that. Worry about the decreasing number of members.

The worries that constantly rummage through my head don’t come to mind when I’m with Boss Inho.

So, I must have been forgetting lately.

That my life was originally a gutter.

When I returned to the center, Boss Inho seemed to have gone home.

I work out alone in the empty center.

The more I increase the weight on the Barbell, the clearer my head becomes. I don’t have any stray thoughts.

The weight that started at 40kg has already risen to 200kg.

“Hmph.”

I put the Barbell on my shoulders. I tighten my stomach to maintain abdominal pressure.

I slowly go down.

The weight of the 200kg plate is not as heavy as I thought.

Not heavier than my worries.

A moderate tension is maintained in the muscles.

Without giving momentum, I slowly give strength to my thighs and buttocks and stand up.

I repeat that 10 times.

-Clunk!

“……”

I guess I should stop here for today.

No one will come anyway, so I should just close.

I don’t want to go home like this.

I feel like I’ll suffocate if I go into that cramped house.

Okay, I finished early, so let’s go a bit further today.

[Loan Deadline Notice]

A text message that dragged my mood down to the very bottom of hell today.

Even while walking along the promenade in the Han River, I keep looking at my phone.

Idiot. Nothing will change by looking at it.

Money. Money… that damn money was the problem.

From childhood to now, money has never been absent from my life.

The debt left by my runaway mother.

My father, who had to work all day to repay that debt.

My father, who ran a small gym in the neighborhood, entrusted the gym to me and went to do other work due to the increasing interest.

Stupid father.

Pitifully diligent father.

He kept repaying it, but eventually his health deteriorated, and he left my side early.

What was left to me was debt and the gym.

What if I hadn’t inherited it?

Was the past choice to take on the debt because I couldn’t abandon the gym my father left me really the right one?

I’ve been thinking that a lot lately.

-Tock tock

Droplets of water wet my head.

Oh, was it supposed to rain today?

Umbrella… I didn’t bring it.

Haha.

Really… today is the worst.

The early autumn rain is too cold, and the rain that was falling in droplets has turned into a downpour, hitting my body.

Receiving that stinging rain all over my body, I just walked.

Because there’s nowhere else to run.

The others must have seen the forecast that it would rain. I’m the only one in Han River Park.

Ha, I’m the only one who didn’t know again.

I just want to melt into the raindrops and disappear.

How far have I walked, staggering? The rainwater flowing from my soaked hair is blurring my vision.

How do I get home? Can I even take the bus in this wet state?

-Thud thud

The rain that was tormenting my ears makes a sound of bouncing off something.

And the rain no longer hits my body.

“Uh…?”

A shadow falls over my head.

This is… an umbrella?

“Uh?”

A huge man is blocking my way.

The man looks down at me and says.

“Garam. What are you doing here?”

It’s Boss Inho.

“Oh… well, that’s…”

Boss comes closer to me.

I turn my head because I don’t want to show him that I’m crying.

Because I thought I would feel too miserable if Boss said, ‘Were you crying?’

But Boss just looks at me silently.

I couldn’t stand this awkward silence.

“I… I’ll just go…”

“You can cry. Cry under the umbrella. Crying in the rain doesn’t make the tears flow better.”

Pat pat.

Boss patted my shoulder and said calmly.