Let’s Stop Now

How wonderful would it be if emotions could be conveyed simply by expressing them?

Lee Mina probably knows that sharing feelings is only possible when two people are looking in the same direction.

In the middle of a crowd with faces as smooth as egg ghosts, Lee Mina lashed out at her father.

At the same time, she was shedding tears.

Though unseen, her gasping, sobbing voice made it clear.

“What are you doing in front of people?”

Her father scolded.

“So you know that’s embarrassing? Ha, what kind of person is this? If you had no shame at all, I would just accept it…”

As if she was dumbfounded, anger slowly spread through Lee Mina’s voice.

“…Anyway, now I know how you’ve been, so I’m leaving now.”

As Lee Mina charged forward, ready to grab his collar, the man turned and disappeared.

As soon as he crossed the crosswalk in front of the company, he vanished like smoke, and I realized again that this was not reality but Lee Mina’s subconscious.

“……..”

I raised and lowered my hand several times behind her. I didn’t have the courage to go to her and comfort her.

From long experience, in these uncomfortable situations, the best course of action was for me to quietly go inside first, and for Lee Mina to come in after she had composed herself.

“…Deputy Manager.”

But Lee Mina tore the picture.

“…Yes?”

“Would you like to buy me a coffee?”

Lee Mina, her eyes swollen and red, looked at me with a pathetic smile.

If anyone could see that smile and still choose to go into the office, they would be inhuman.

As if responding to Lee Mina’s words, her subconscious opened up a cafe.

I took two cups of coffee from a nondescript part-time worker and returned to the front of the company.

“……..”

She was already sitting on a bench, looking at the flowers blooming in a small flower bed.

“Here you go.”

“Thank you.”

I handed her the cold coffee, and she, who had been gazing at the red petals, emerged from her own world.

The appetizer for the heavy story was well-honed silence.

We cast our eyes on the nondescript people passing by, and we counted the number of times the company’s revolving door turned.

“As you probably already know, he’s my father.”

While giving indifferent attention to the name of a flower peeking out from a crack in the block, Lee Mina opened her mouth.

“I see.”

“He might ask you for money. Or ask you to transfer your salary account.”

He did that last time.

“Ah…”

The coffee made my mouth taste bitter.

“This is… I hate to say this myself… I guess ‘filial duty’ is really hard to cut off. Even if I move and go into hiding… he persistently follows me…”

The paper cup crumpled, and the coffee sloshed precariously.

“I thought about going to another region, but there are only decent jobs in Seoul.”

She let out a deep sigh.

“That sounds like a headache. Anyway, I’ll be careful too.”

I said, finishing the rest of my coffee.

The coffee was still bitter.

‘You might get bothered in the future. I apologize in advance.’

Lee Mina, when talking about her family, rarely took such a humble stance.

Just as her warning was fading from my mind, I had an unwanted encounter in front of the company.

“You’re Lee Mina’s senior at work, right?”

It was a middle-aged woman.

“You’ve mistaken me for someone else.”

As I tried to ignore her and pass by, she grabbed my arm.

“Oh, come on, you’re the one. I even have a picture here.”

I didn’t know when it was taken, but she held out a picture of me drinking coffee with Lee Mina.

“……..”

“Don’t glare at me like that. I’m Mina’s mother.”

She smiled brightly. The yellowish teeth that were briefly visible made me feel queasy.

“Is our Mina adjusting well? She’s living alone in Seoul, so I’m so worried. Oh, since you’re her senior, do you happen to know where she lives?”

Ignoring the listener’s reaction, she chattered busily.

I was tired of being silent and was about to turn around and go back to the company when someone squeezed between me and the woman.

“Why do you want to know where I live? What are you going to do with that information?”

It was Lee Mina.

I didn’t know where she came from, but she appeared at a truly opportune moment and saved me.

“You haven’t seen your mother in years, and that’s what you say?”

The middle-aged woman, who had been smiling kindly, contorted her face as if she had never done so and confronted her.

“If you had done anything for me, I would have at least pretended to be happy to see you.”

Lee Mina retorted, uncharacteristically.

“What?”

And, of course, as if there was a script, the middle-aged woman raised her voice.

What would have ended if I had just avoided it had become bigger.

“First Dad, now Mom? Why, did you come to get money or something?”

“Is money all you can talk about as soon as you see me? That’s paranoia.”

“So you don’t need money, right? Don’t mention money from now on.”

“…Who did you take after to be so rude?”

“I wonder. At least I’m glad I didn’t take after either of you.”

“You!”

Just as the argument was escalating and about to turn into a fight, I stopped Lee Mina.

“Mina, let’s go inside. Lunch break is almost over.”

“…Yes.”

“Hey, where are you going? Where are you going!”

Her mother couldn’t bring herself to follow us all the way to the company and snarled at Lee Mina from the entrance of the building.

We passed through the revolving door and entered the elevator.

Fortunately, only she and I were in the elevator.

“Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.”

“Noona!”

While I was going out to buy snacks for working overtime, I ran into a man in front of the company.

The man, who looked like a student, approached Lee Mina, who was next to me.

“Fuck.”

I heard Lee Mina curse softly, and I tried to ignore it.

Their visits became more and more frequent.

Her father, mother, and younger brother appeared alone and showed up in front of me and Lee Mina.

Each time, she desperately expressed her emotions, and I comforted her.

In the repetitive daily life, their existence was a kind of obstacle.

“Thank you for today.”

On the way home from work, Lee Mina greeted me.

It was because I had sent her father, who had appeared around lunchtime, away.

They appear,

“Things might have gotten worse if you hadn’t been there, Deputy Manager.”

They fight,

“…Am I becoming a burden?”

She makes weak noises,

“No.”

I comfort her.

This is repeated.

As if wanting to put on a show for someone, it is constantly repeated.

“I think I can endure it because you’re here, Deputy Manager.”

As if wanting me to recognize her misery, she exaggerates.

“Thank you always, Deputy Manager.”

As if I am her only savior, she emphasizes.

…….

…….

…….

…….

…….

…….

Ah…!

“Mina, let’s stop now.”

I turned around and looked at Lee Mina behind me.

“Let’s stop now.”

“Wh, what do you mean stop…”

Lee Mina looked at me with trembling eyes.

Her appearance was so pitiful, my heart ached, and I felt a surge of wanting to take care of her.

That’s why I had to be harsh now.

“You can’t find Mina’s happiness here. Let’s get out of here.”

“……..”

“From this fake world that Mina created.”

Lee Mina’s trembling eyes began to sink.

Slowly, into the deep sea.

She looked up at me with those coldly frozen eyes.

“There were no lies.”

Her hand grabbed my collar.

“You think I’m pathetic, don’t you?”

I was suffocating.

“Then just…”

She buried her face in my chest.

“Can’t you just stay here with me?”