What You Must Lose to Know – 2

Kim Sung-ah was walking home with Lee Hye-ji. Hye-ji had asked her to go together as she was about to head home.

Seong-ah felt a little puzzled by Hye-ji’s unprompted affection, but there was no reason to refuse, so she nodded.

“Are you not coming to school tomorrow, Seong-ah unnie?”

“It’s Saturday, isn’t it? Oh… self-study?”

“You don’t have to do self-study, Seong-ah unnie. I’m so jealous… Then what are you doing tomorrow?”

“Me… I’ll just be at home. I don’t really have anything to do.”

“Aren’t you going to look for your brother?”

“Brother? Ah….”

Kim Sung-ah closed her mouth. Maybe she really should go look for him.

She couldn’t help but think that the Divine Doctor, with nowhere to go, might be wandering the streets and suffering.

‘Does he really have nowhere to go?’

Worrying, she suddenly had this thought.

She recalled what he had said when he was yelling at her, his neck veins bulging.

It seemed to be something about his girlfriend.

Thinking about it made her chest tighten again.

‘He did have somewhere to go.’

He had somewhere to go, even if it wasn’t her house.

The thought made her breathless.

“Seong-ah unnie?”

Lee Hye-ji looked at her with a worried expression.

“If I wait, he’ll come back on his own.”

Clearing her throat, she spoke loudly, as if narrating an ordinary sibling quarrel.

Even though they weren’t siblings, or even family.

“I hope you reconcile,” Lee Hye-ji said quietly. Then she pointed to the right with her finger. “I have to go this way.”

“Ah, I’m this way.”

Kim Sung-ah pointed to the left.

“Opposite directions. Then, go in safely.”

“Yeah. Have a good weekend.”

“I’m coming to school tomorrow, so….”

As Hye-ji spoke gloomily, Kim Sung-ah gave an awkward laugh.

“Ahaha… That’s right. Go in safely then.”

“Seong-ah unnie, you didn’t look well today, so get some rest.”

“Thanks for your concern. Then, I’ll be going?”

They turned their heads back and forth, waving until they became dots in the distance.

As her friend disappeared down the road, Kim Sung-ah’s face slowly hardened.

“I haven’t felt well since earlier.”

Just as Hye-ji had said, she hadn’t felt well since lunch.

“Was it something I ate this morning?”

She recalled the breakfast that had tasted particularly bad and had a strange smell.

Her condition worsened as time passed. Perhaps that was why the walk home felt longer than usual.

It felt like she had walked twice as far as usual.

Wiping the cold sweat from her forehead with the back of her hand, she opened the rusty gate.

Unlike before, the creaking sound was faint. Inho had taken care of the hinges.

“……..”

She walked through the small yard, passing the neatly trimmed grass.

Then she climbed the stone steps and opened the front door.

The dark living room greeted her.

“……”

Yes, this familiar scene.

This was the scenery she was originally supposed to enjoy.

She collapsed, as if falling.

The coldness of the wooden floor made her shiver.

Saturday, dawn.

Even considering the late sunrise, it was too dark around her.

“Ugh….”

The sound that escaped her lips as she trembled between dream and reality was not a word, but a groan.

She felt nauseous, and her forehead was hot.

“Living room….”

She murmured in a very small voice, like the dawn wind.

She had only taken off one shoe. Her face, distorted, tired, and sad, was a picture of misery.

“Ugh….”

Her stomach churned. She awkwardly got up and headed to the bathroom.

The short distance of only a few steps felt as far as the walk home yesterday.

After a grueling marathon, she arrived at the bathroom, opened the toilet lid, and plunged her face into the toilet.

The sound of vomiting everything inside her.

The sound of her soul being poured out echoed through the house for a while.

“Divine Doctor… I’m sick….”

Between bouts of vomiting, she inadvertently called out to someone who wasn’t there.

“……..”

And then she realized it.

Another wave of vomiting came over her.

Having emptied all the moisture from her body, she collapsed onto the bathroom floor.

Her shoulders rose and fell, as if dozens of invisible burdens were weighing on them, making it difficult for her to breathe.

She didn’t even need to touch her forehead to know that her body was hot.

The coldness of the bathroom floor was at least cooling her down.

“I’m sick….”

She muttered, sitting blankly.

“I’m sick….”

She gagged. The dry heaving on an empty stomach made her suffer.

“Divine Doctor….”

She called out to someone who wasn’t there again.

There was no one in this house who would come running to her pain.

“I’m sick… I’m sick.”

She turned her body around and crawled out of the bathroom.

Then she crawled to the kitchen.

She was so thirsty. Her dry lips were cracked and bleeding.

She grabbed the slightly protruding refrigerator and pulled herself up as if climbing a rock wall.

Using all her strength, she opened the door and took out a water bottle.

She didn’t have the strength to get a cup. She put the water bottle to her mouth and tilted her head back.

“Kehek, cough! Cough!”

She coughed and spat out water, apparently choking as she hurriedly gulped it down.

The water bottle fell to the floor and soaked the floor.

“Haha… What a mess….”

She said, looking at the chaotic floor and her body soaked in water.

She had spat out most of the water, but her thirst was quenched.

She sat down.

The heat in her body wouldn’t go away.

“I’m sick….”

Her head was hot, her stomach was nauseous, and her throat was sore.

It was hard to stand, and her vision was blurry.

“I’m sick. Me.”

“I’m sick, I’m sick….”

“Mom… Dad… Divine Doctor….”

She called out to the people she had relied on and followed.

But none of them could help her.

Not in this dark, big house.

-Waaaaah, Mom! Dad! Divine Doctor!

Like a baby crying, she sat on the floor and sobbed sadly.

There was no one to answer her sorrow.

In this dark, big house, there was only her.