Defense Mechanism

What the?

That was my first thought.

A thought that lingered for a full ten seconds.

I touched my chest. Not a hallucination. Fuck, what is this?

Since when?

I never used the ‘Transformation’ skill.

But it looked like it had been used anyway.

There was no other reason for my ‘Transformation’ level to have suddenly gone up.

Just a moment ago, I was Lee Han-gyeol.

Yu-hwa had called me ‘Han-gyeol’.

So, what happened between the moment she called me ‘Han-gyeol’ and now—

Searching my memory for the keyword ‘automatic transformation,’ a word flashed through my mind.

Defense mechanism.

It was the term Park Se-hyuk, the top instructor on Transformation-types, had explained along with ‘Polarization’.

A concept meant to support ‘Polarization,’ but in a way, also a side effect of it.

-“‘Polarization’ is ultimately about separating two personalities into two bodies, right? After separating them, they become more and more extreme. But that doesn’t mean one body can’t possess the opposite personality or emotion. It’s not like your emotions are being castrated.”

-“Then… wouldn’t the Polarization just collapse?”

-“That’s what the… ‘defense mechanism’ is for.”

-“Defense mechanism?”

-“If an emotion opposite to that body surges to the point you can’t suppress it or its related personality traits, you transform unconsciously. It’s to keep the Polarization from collapsing.”

-“…What?”

-“Fascinating, isn’t it? Unlike other types, Transformation-types are…”

It wasn’t fascinating. To a third party, maybe it would be. But this was happening to me.

And it was a very important…!

I had worried about it, but I’d thought, surely it won’t happen like this.

It’s really happening? Just like that?

Se-hyuk had said that everyone has a different emotion that acts as their ‘trigger’.

In his case, the emotion was ‘anger’. If that feeling brought out his ferocious nature and he couldn’t suppress it, he would transform into a werewolf to maintain his ‘Polarization’.

I remembered that time at the board game cafe when I riled him up with the Yahtzee dice and then bailed. He’d started to transform into a werewolf then.

It was kind of funny at the time.

Now that I was the one in the hot seat, it wasn’t funny at all.

My trigger was probably ‘lust’.

If lust was my trigger, then this body, Lee Han-gyeol, would transform into the succubus, Seo A-gyeol, every time I felt sexual desire.

A truly fucked-up situation.

Thankfully, my potential witness, Yu-hwa, was fast asleep.

…in a very, um, defenseless position.

Thankfully, this body was a succubus—a woman’s body.

I’m not the type to prey on a defenseless woman.

…Right? I mean, I’ve preyed on defenseless men, but never a woman.

I turned away from her so I wouldn’t have to look, then reverted the transformation. It would be a problem if I reverted, looked at her, and then transformed again…

I had to avoid the guild’s internal CCTV.

A man and a woman go into a room, and a completely different woman comes out… That would be a problem.

…Anyway, maybe because the skill level had gone up, reverting the transformation only consumed about 5 Essense.

I reverted and safely escaped the guild building as Lee Han-gyeol.

The moment I was outside, I let out a sigh of relief and immediately sent a message.

Me: Sehyukg
Me: Se-hyuk

Park Se-hyuk: Yeah?

Oh, he replied fast.

Me: What r u doing up?
Park Se-hyuk: ?
Me: Jokin
Me: Joking
Me: Do you know how to deal with the defense mechanism?

I know this is out of the blue for you, but please answer.

Park Se-hyuk: The defense mechanism?
Me: yep
Park Se-hyuk: You just have to vent it instead of suppressing it
Me: ?
Park Se-hyuk: Polarization separates your personalities, and the defense mechanism is there to help it
Park Se-hyuk: As long as you don’t suppress it
Park Se-hyuk: Suppressing it is the problem. Giving in to it is fine
Park Se-hyuk: It’s impossible not to feel emotions in the first place
Me: oh…
Me: thx thx

So there was a solution.

Don’t suppress it.

If my trigger was lust, I had to give in to it, not suppress it.

The reason I transformed unconsciously earlier must have been because I was resisting Yu-hwa’s advances.

It hadn’t been long since I’d undergone ‘Polarization’ into a succubus, and as Lee Han-gyeol, I’d been living so busily that I’d never… experienced having to endure something like that.

…Should I not have resisted?

No, it’s better that I found out now.

This time, Yu-hwa was drunk and passed out immediately, but if I transformed unconsciously while the other person was sober, it would be a catastrophe.

A sigh escaped me.

My future, where I’d have to immediately vent my lust the moment I felt it, was painfully clear.

…What do I do?

Even if it wasn’t sex, even if I just took care of it myself, I had to do it immediately.

There was probably a threshold for the transformation, but testing to see at what point I transform and at what point I don’t was far too risky.

It meant I had to take care of it right away, the moment I felt it.

Even when I was clearing a gate with my teammates, if I felt a surge of lust, I’d have to deal with it as quickly as possible.

Of course, it was unlikely I’d feel lust in the middle of a gate clear, but the very possibility that it could happen…

There’s a reason they say ignorance is bliss.

When I didn’t know about this side effect, I was enjoying a relatively happy life as an Awakener.

Now that I knew, it felt like I was walking a tightrope.

Will I be able to get by without any major incidents?

*

Monday, at least, was uneventful.

Aside from a slight hangover, my volunteer work at the Awakened Center finished without a hitch.

Just one more day, and the volunteer work would be over.

I wanted to start clearing a gate as soon as it was done, so I had to prepare in advance.

Which gate to go to, what precautions to take, what administrative steps were needed to start the clear, and so on…

Fortunately, we had roughly decided which gate to tackle during yesterday’s dinner, and Min Yu-in had agreed.

The place we were heading to was Gate 132.

[Gate 132

Gate Information: Gate 132
Restrictions: Applications from those with a government-certified rank of E or lower are not permitted. For more details, click here.
Mission: To be discussed later (?)
Compensation: Per ‘Expedition’ guild compensation regulations
Team Leader: Always.Lee
Team Members: Undecided

Apply as Team Leader / Apply as Team Member]

Most of the administrative procedures were handled by the ‘Expedition’ guild. I was going to take care of any additional steps while I was at the Awakened Center, but it seemed there weren’t any.

For now, I put my name down as the team leader.

Once you claimed the team leader spot, it was as good as reserved.

[Gate 132

Environment: A temple that appears to be from another world is located within a jungle, guarded by stone golems.
Inhabitants: Golem-type
Special Notes: Golems show little reaction unless approached near the temple. However, they will respond lightly if one gets close, and violently if one enters the temple. If the objective is to enter the temple, applications from those with a government-certified rank of C or lower are not permitted. A partial map of the gate is available for reference.
Attached File: map.pdf]

It seemed the difficulty of the gate clear was divided into three actions: not going near the temple, loitering near the temple, and entering the temple.

Since this would be my first clear as a team leader, I decided we would test the waters near the temple, and if it seemed doable, we would go inside.

I sent an email to the Expedition guild to discuss the criteria for a successful mission.

Yang Geun-tae and Yu-hwa had said they would handle it, but I sent it myself just in case.

I was the team leader, after all…

Perhaps because they had been given a heads-up, a reply came back from Expedition almost immediately.

They said today was fine, so I headed right over.

The Expedition guild building, which I had returned to, was much more vibrant than it had been in the dead of night.

“Ah, Mr. Lee Han-gyeol. This way, please.”

*

The fact that I wasn’t an official member of ‘Expedition’ combined with the guild’s characteristic of relying heavily on the team leader’s discretion inside a gate made for a moderately complex procedure.

Going through this sort of thing definitely felt like it would build my experience as a team leader.

Although the procedures were different from those at ‘Elemental’, the general flow was similar.

Besides, in the case of ‘Expedition’, the criteria for a successful gate clear varied for each gate.

If a low-ranked party had gone to Gate 132, simply expanding the map would have been considered a successful clear.

When I came out after finishing the discussion, Yang Geun-tae was waiting for me.

“Did it go well?”

“Yes. I think it went as we discussed yesterday.”

“That’s a relief. Let’s go grab some dinner together.”

“Sounds good.”

Spending time with the people I’d be entering a gate with was a pretty important task.

“By the way, did everything go okay yesterday—or rather, early this morning?”

The incident where a gate had suddenly burst open, forcing Yang Geun-tae to rush over.

At the time, I’d thought, who would blow up a gate these days? But thinking back, there was one organization that might.

…Could it have been David’s organization?

I remembered them blocking off all the paths to their main base and wiping out their own members.

They’d blocked it off so thoroughly that a flood of them had even poured into the route I was in charge of, forcing me to take a long detour.

-“When you start something, you have to see it through. Especially this time, they prepared meticulously to hit us.”

If Yoo Yi-jun had said that, David’s organization must have suffered significant damage, which could have caused problems with their gate management.

Well, they reaped what they sowed.

“It was nothing. The situation was pretty much over by the time I got there. Anyway, what about you? Did anything happen?”

“Pardon?”

“You took Yu-hwa home alone. Did she try to seduce you?”

“…Wasn’t she just drunk? Besides, she fell asleep the moment I put her on the bed.”

“Hmm… She seemed serious, though. To be honest, what you did was the right call. No need to stir up unnecessary trouble right before a clear. But this time, it really seems like she’s taken a liking to you.”

“…”

“Honestly, she’s pretty, isn’t she? Not prettier than my girlfriend, of course. If you’re interested in her, you should make a move.”

I shouldn’t have said I didn’t have a girlfriend at the dinner, should I?

Honestly, she was pretty…

There was no way I’d dislike a pretty older woman who liked me.

It was just that my circumstances made it difficult to have a girlfriend.

Not only did I have to transform into a succubus from time to time to get Essense, but what if my lust spiked while we were on a date—

Was I getting ahead of myself?

“Let’s go over there. That place is the best restaurant around here.”

At the restaurant Yang Geun-tae led me to, by a complete coincidence, was Yu-hwa…

“She asked me to, I couldn’t say no.”

Yang Geun-tae made an excuse, seeing the look in my eyes.

“If you don’t like her, just be firm. She’s very clear-cut about things like that.”

Wasn’t she the one who tried to attack her ex-boyfriend but ran away because his new girlfriend seemed stronger…?

“…It’s not that I dislike her, but you should have at least told me…”

“I was just thinking that myself. I’m sorry about that.”

Yang Geun-tae took the inner seat, making me sit across from Yu-hwa.

“Han-gyeol, did you get home okay? I’m sorry about yesterday…”

“It’s okay, Yu-hwa.”

“I’m grateful you took care of me yesterday, so I’m treating today.”

“Wow, thank you, Yu-hwa!”

“What’s with you, Geun-tae? Ah, whatever. You had a rough time with that gate incident too.”

…It looked like Yu-hwa had put in some effort today. Her appearance was different from yesterday when we had to show off our abilities, and the image of her defenseless form from last night overlapped with the present.

–My sweet Han-gyeol… Want to sleep over?

–The moment our eyes meet, we can just do it…

Honestly, she had been pretty defenseless yesterday…

Her clothes were loosened because she said she was hot from drinking, revealing bits of bare skin…

On top of that, she must have felt stuffy, because she kept squirming and taking off her clothes in her sleep. If it had been a little brighter—

!

Wait a minute.

I could feel the blood slowly pooling in my lower body.

Ah, no.

How erect was I before I transformed yesterday? Could I even measure the transformation threshold by my erection?

I can’t transform now…!

“Looks like Han-gyeol isn’t very grateful.”

“Hey, don’t slander him. I’m buying him this because I feel bad about something.”

“Ah, I’m very grateful.”

No, why is she showing a bit of her chest?

This won’t do. I have to get to the bathroom and take care of this—

“Actually, my stomach is hurting a little…”

“Really? The bathroom is over there. Oh, dear. He must have been in a hurry.”

BANG!

I practically broke the bathroom door open, and the reflection in the mirror showed—