chapter_0062

Chapter 60: Each Person’s Own Way

The conversation at the motel.

The women who found out about Si-woo’s past could no longer remain silent.

They hadn’t expected him to be so broken.

Even the VIP who knew about his trauma, and Lim So-yeon, who only knew the time when he was just beginning to experience trauma, both thought he had already overcome it.

The mistake was thinking there was no problem.

If a person changes 180 degrees in just half a year, they should have thought at least once that something was wrong.

But they were satisfied simply because he didn’t seem to have any problems on the surface.

“Ha, seriously, what is this…”

Kwaaack…!!

If someone else had changed so drastically day by day, they would have been worried.

The saying, “If a person changes overnight, they’re dying,” isn’t just a saying.

Especially among Hunters, who often live with mental issues, such changes are usually passive traits, so they’re particularly sensitive to them.

They should have been worried.

But all three Hunters.

Felt only discomfort.

They didn’t even give Si-woo advice to go see a doctor, despite his changing so frequently.

‘He’s not a Hunter yet.’

‘He said he’d retire soon.’

‘It’s probably not a big deal.’

They were complacent and foolish.

There was no other explanation.

All three of them had affection for Si-woo in their own ways, so they turned their eyes away from the possibility that a new problem had emerged, thinking that the issue had already been resolved.

In this moment, they subconsciously excluded the possibility that the desire to enjoy this moment might have caused the problem.

They were disgusted by their own ugliness, their own foolishness.

What is this love anyway, Not even realizing that the person they love is falling apart for their own sake.

They couldn’t just stay still like this.

In their hearts, they wanted to run away.

To a place where they would never meet Si-woo again.

To a place where they wouldn’t have to face the guilt they had been ignoring.

“There’s no way we deserve that.”

They shouldn’t confuse “wanting to” with “having to.”

Even if Si-woo forgave them, they wouldn’t forgive themselves for running away.

Selfishness disguised as love. Some might say it’s not a sin, but that’s just someone else’s opinion.

She, they, say it is a sin.

They say it’s something they should have taken responsibility for.

They could have done it, but they didn’t.

Their selfish actions weren’t done for the one they loved, but for themselves.

Even if others didn’t know, they knew.

That’s why the three of them wouldn’t run away.

They would give their best, their utmost dedication.

Someone might call this self-satisfaction.

They might say that simply by being there, they were making Si-woo suffer.

Yeah, maybe.

Even Jung Se-ah, who realized her feelings too late, had indulged her personal desires as a VIP at the Host Bar.

Lim So-yeon, who vanished before suffering from trauma, and Saria, who never met him during his Host Bar days.

Unlike them, the three had all made Si-woo suffer in their own ways, showing their affection.

It wouldn’t have been strange if they’d told him to leave, to disappear right in front of them once they recognized their emotions.

“…That might be enough.”

That alone would be enough.

If they told him to go away.

They could disappear, thinking of all the memories they had with him, without leaving a trace—no letter, no message, nothing—believing it was the sin that caused him pain all this time.

Please.

They repeat their resolve.

Even if they got a job as Academy instructors, there was still free time.

Usually, during that free time, they would either visit Si-woo or listen to the other students’ counseling sessions.

“A-rank Gate, ‘Troll Kingdom’ subjugation begins.”

“A-rank Gate, ‘Cursed Hero’s Land’ subjugation begins.”

“A-rank Gate, ‘Chimera Laboratory’ subjugation begins.”

The three of them focused on subjugating gates.

Modern psychiatry might not be entirely untrustworthy, but it wasn’t miraculous like the magic beyond the gates.

Whether it’s magic tools, magic, or miracles, it didn’t matter.

If there was something that could even slightly help Si-woo recover his emotions, the three of them would lift swords or staffs countless times.

As they stepped beyond the gates, they made a vow to themselves.

To face their own sins.

Kitsunezawa, Baek Eun-seol, and Jung Se-ah.

Just as the three of them chose the methods beyond the gates, Lim So-yeon and Saria sought a way to help Si-woo regain his emotions through modern technology, not the world beyond the gates.

Modern medicine and psychology.

Although the Academy didn’t offer these subjects, they could study them as much as they wanted.

Even at the library, they could find everything from specialized books to academic papers in original languages.

However, unlike Lim So-yeon, who had no hesitation in taking action, Saria found herself deep in thought multiple times.

Treating mental illness isn’t easy. No matter how hard they studied, proper treatment might be better left to professionals.

Wouldn’t it be better to clear a lower-ranked gate in the meantime and earn a little more money?

“That’s not entirely wrong.”

And Lim So-yeon found herself stuck in that same dilemma.

“You’re right. The knowledge we’re gaining might not be useful in treating Si-woo directly. No matter how hard we study, we’ll still be far behind doctors who’ve been specializing in this for 10 or 20 years.”

“Then…!!”

“So, are you going to stop meeting Si-woo once he regains his emotions?”

Saria was left speechless at the unexpected response.

“I can’t give up on this feeling.”

“I feel the same way! But for Si-woo’s sake, it’s better to help him regain his emotions as quickly as possible, right?!”

“After he regains his emotions?”

Let’s think about it after he regains his emotions.

Saria’s words were something she could say because she didn’t know the Si-woo from the past.

“You know why I kept my distance from Si-woo back then, don’t you?”

“Si-woo wanted to die during that time. But should we really prioritize bringing back his emotions above all else?”

There were no words to counter that.

If she’d only thought about it calmly, Saria’s thoughts were completely understandable.

“Si-woo killing his emotions was a defense mechanism. But right now, you’re completely ignoring the fact that Si-woo has lost that defense and are just blindly pleading for him to regain his emotions.”

“Sorry, I didn’t think it through.”

With a brief apology, she acknowledged her mistake.

“Our role isn’t to treat Si-woo. As you mentioned, that’s the role of experts, or the instructors outside the Academy who are looking for technologies beyond the gates.”

“Then what is our role?”

“Our role is to care for Si-woo after he regains his emotions.”

After he regains his emotions.

Si-woo’s reaction was unknown.

He might brush it off casually, unlike what they expected.

But in the worst-case scenario, he could choose to end his life right then and there, and it wouldn’t be strange.

He’d been pushed to such an extreme state that losing his emotions was a result of it.

He might have come to terms with things while his emotions were dead, but they could still be rotting somewhere deep inside him.

Even if it’s little by little, they needed to learn.

To make sure Si-woo’s emotions never disappear again, even if they were amateurs.

Not for now, but for the future.

After hearing Lim So-yeon’s words, Saria snapped out of her thoughts and nodded.

Yeah, that was our role.

It wasn’t about being at the front, but about growing for the future.

Walking forward using the platform built by the pioneers—that was the role of Academy students.

“Fortunately, Si-woo is getting regular psychiatric treatment, and the instructors are working hard to find techniques related to emotions.”

“We just need to do what we can.”

“If you understand, sit down quickly. Even if you’re a latecomer, there’s no time to waste.”

“Okay, got it!!”

With a clear goal in mind, Saria opened her book.

To face the one she loved properly.

Kitsunezawa, Baek Eun-seol, Jung Se-ah, Saria, Lim So-yeon.

While these five women were each doing their best in their own ways to help Si-woo regain his emotions, the one at the center of it all, Si-woo, was…

“What did you say?”

“How about joining the subjugation of a gate related to demons? I’m making an unexpected offer to you, Si-woo.”

He was receiving a surprise proposal from Kang Hong-yeon.