Still (7)

“I don’t think it was ever yours.”

“Hey!”

As soon as I refuted, a sharp voice flew in. Come to think of it, did I lock the door well? We can’t be caught in this state.

“You’re mine, got it?”

“I can have you, but you can’t have me.”

“What?”

Her hazy eyes suddenly became lively, then sank again. Her lips flapped a few times.

“You, you bastard, do you know you’re going too far?”

“In what way?”

“Everything!”

Her usual calm demeanor was nowhere to be seen, and she was left looking just like a child. After watching her wave her hands in the air a few times, I picked up the beer can next to me.

It’s bitter.

“Always, you tell me, I’m pretty. Cute, hic. Not cute at all.”

“I call what’s cute cute, what else should I call it?”

“That’s the problem!”

Her cheeks were red. The faint blush seemed to be tempting me.

“You’re, you’re aware of it, right?! On purpose, making me embarrassed. Hm? Isn’t that what you’re doing?”

“That’s part of it.”

“See! I knew it! Hic! Hic! You were doing it on purpose!”

Her eyes are spinning. Watching that, I brought the beer can to my lips. Looking at the beer Erica was holding, it seemed light, as if she had almost emptied it.

Normally, she would have restrained herself. I was starting to regret visiting the Association. This appearance is nice, but… No, well. It’s fine since it’s nice. You probably wanted to feel this way too.

“Yeah, and?”

“But, but! You do it so well usually! Smiling well… Sometimes, sometimes…”

Then she hung her head low. Her short hair swayed. As I tilted my head at her unfinished words, she suddenly closed the distance. The scent of beer mixed with her body odor.

“As, as if. As if it was all a lie, your face looks like you’re about to crumble, umm. You just… cry.”

“Me?”

There was no response. As I just kept looking at her, she opened her mouth softly.

“You cry. A lot, a lot. You cry. You try to smile as if nothing’s wrong, but you can’t. I, I can see it all!”

I downed the remaining beer. The bitter taste still hadn’t subsided.

“If I lose you, even a little, you, you break down and. Come to me, to me. Saying it’s okay, but.”

My shoulder was grabbed by her hand. Then she clung to me.

“I’m scared, of you. That you might disappear. That you might leave. When I open my eyes… hic. That you, who always smiled at me, might not be there.”

“It’s okay.”

While stroking her head, I hugged her slightly.

“When I disappear, I’ll definitely say goodbye in front of you before I go.”

“I don’t want that either!”

Erica, who suddenly pushed me away and broke free, glared at me with hazy eyes.

She’s like a child.

“You don’t want to?”

“I don’t!”

“Adults don’t throw tantrums.”

“I will throw tantrums!”

She’s really broken down. She’ll be incredibly embarrassed tomorrow.

“Let’s sleep now. It’s late.”

Erica, who had been hiccupping a few times, had a completely relaxed face and hugged me again.

“Usually I’m the one who should be hugging…”

“I wanna sleep.”

“Why?”

“I don’t want to, morrow to come.”

She slightly raised her face. Her golden hair tickled my shoulder. Our pure white eyes met.

“I wish this moment, would last for, ever.”

After pondering, I stroked her head once more. Her face relaxed as she giggled, and she hugged me again.

“Let’s not sleep… Let’s stay up all night. Hm? We can, sleep, to, morrow.”

“Shall we?”

“Mhm!”

Handling you was always my role. I prioritized personal emotions, but in one corner, I always cared for you. Your frowning face was cute in its own way, but I didn’t want to see it for long. So I did the best I could.

“We’re busy tomorrow too. It’s already late, and if we sleep later, we’ll be very tired. Let’s sleep now. Okay?”

So, just for now, I want to indulge a little. Because if I keep looking at you, I feel like my heart might break. Because I might dream the vain dream of undoing the plan I’ve built up and staying by your side.

I wanted to, but I didn’t want to, so I gently soothed you.

“No! I don’t wanna! Listen to me!”

“You know. My shoulder hurts a lot.”

While making eye contact with Erica, I lifted my slightly stretched collar to reveal my collarbone. There were clear teeth marks on the white skin.

“Someone bit me.”

“Uh, uh?”

Erica blinked her eyes and then slightly averted her gaze.

“I’m, not at fault.”

“If I say I’m turning off the lights now, I’ll let it slide.”

“Uh…”

Her hesitation seems to be nearing its end. As a last resort, I pulled her, who was already close, even closer and buried her face in the opposite collarbone.

“Want to bite?”

“…Yeah.”

At first, a small pain. But gradually, the teeth pressing into the flesh began to spread a pain that felt like it would break.

I squeezed my eyes shut and patted her back.

“You, should know, my pain.”

“Yeah. Bite me as much as I’ve done wrong.”

To the point of drawing blood.

“Sob, haa.”

The pleasure of being vulnerably handled by the person you love was passionate and thrilling. I thought it wouldn’t be bad even if my shoulder was torn apart, but she seemed to be considerate of me, occasionally removing her mouth from the long line of pain to provide rest.

Then when the pain subsided a little, she would bite again, the skin would spurt blood, and the sticky sensation would completely soak the shoulder area.

“…Will you let go now.”

There was no answer. There was only stronger pain, as if telling me to atone. If she had fangs that weren’t of this world, she would have sucked my blood.

A dazed time passed. Satisfied, she detached her body that had been clinging to me, and a long red thread stretched and broke. Erica wiped her mouth, which was redder than usual, with eyes that seemed colorless for a moment, then sat down on the bed as if possessed.

“Shall we sleep?”

“…Yeah.”

When I opened my eyes in the morning and was awakening my mind for a short while, quite a throbbing pain came. My body was also stiff. I don’t get like this with just a few cans of beer.

“…Are you awake?”

I turned my head at the gentle voice I heard.

I saw Erica sitting in a chair provided in the hotel room next to the bed. Our gazes met, and she quickly avoided it, which made me smile slightly.

“Both appearances are to my liking.”

It seemed like a monologue, but she must have heard. She suddenly opened her eyes wide, coughed a few times, and then stood up.

“…We need to eat, so come out.”

“My shoulder hurts a bit.”

The two legs that were about to leave the room stopped with a thud.

“As if someone bit me.”

“Ah, ugh…”

“What’s wrong?”

I chuckled at her restless appearance.

“No, nothing.”

“Really? I must have seen wrong. You were looking at me as if you’d been caught doing something you shouldn’t have.”

“H-hm! What, what are you talking about.”

“I thought maybe you remembered last night when you mercilessly explored my body.”

Her face turned red, and she wouldn’t meet my eyes, so I just opened my mouth.

“Like how you clung to me while acting spoiled, or how you acted cute while slurring your words.”

“Th-th-that could happen!”

I blinked. She raised her finger at me, so I waited to see what she would say.

“It could?”

“Yes, of course, ahem. No problem.”

“Why?”

“W-well. Because I… l-lo…”

There was a moment of silence.

Afterwards, her moving lips mumbled but didn’t say anything more.

So I spoke instead.

“Let’s go out. We need to eat breakfast too.”

“…Okay.”

It was fortunate that I didn’t have to hear the rest.

After breakfast, we visited the Seodaemun-gu district office and finished the remaining work. The things we had to do didn’t particularly change. Distributing supplies while going around residential facilities or participating if a gate incident occurred.

Even that, I just stuck by Erica’s side and helped, and Erica did almost all the magical beast extermination, so it was quite comfortable. It felt like going for a walk.

When the next destination was decided after finishing the district office work, Erica hesitated before opening her mouth.

“I have work at the Association.”

“What kind?”

“Training new recruits assigned to the Seodaemun-gu field team at the headquarters.”

Then she showed me a notebook. Training stages and other details were written there.

“They asked me to look after them for even a day, since it’s just a few days’ business trip anyway…”

“It’s because you’re cool.”

“Ahem, ahem. That’s the schedule for today.”

As she kept looking at me while saying that, I pondered. She seemed to want to check my thoughts.

“So you’re saying we need to stop by the headquarters?”

“…Yes. If you don’t like it.”

“No. What, I’m fine.”

I interrupted her. The battle from yesterday gathered all the Association’s high-level forces, so even if we go in broad daylight now, there won’t be any bloodshed. Moreover, since Erica is here too, they’ll probably roughly understand the relationship and let it go.

Arriving at the headquarters, I tightened my coat and followed Erica at a distance. My steps slowed down a bit as I watched her occasionally greeting people who approached.

The top floor looked like it had been partially tidied up. Various scattered furniture, glass shards and cement pieces strewn on the floor. Not to mention the broken walls.

“From now on, can you treat me coldly?”

It had to be that way since we’d inevitably see the Association President according to procedure.

“…Ah, yes.”

“Well, just do as you usually do.”

“Usually… That won’t do.”

She hesitated for a moment at the changed position. We can’t do as usual. Yeah.

I lowered my gaze.

5. The extreme of healing arts, a flower blooming from the heart. <Mist>.

Since it’s also when we’re returning to daily life. It’s a good opportunity.

New recruit training, was it?

Let’s go through the stages step by step.

I’m fully prepared to be hated.