Chapter 95: My place (2)

“Let’s scrap the part about the guaranteed starting position in the contract.”

“Please select the starter purely based on skill.”

“……What?”

What was this all of a sudden?

Hearing Outlaw’s unexpected words, Coach Park Taehyung doubted his ears.

“…That’s already decided.”

“I can’t change it arbitrarily.”

“It’s clearly beyond my authority.”

Coach Park Taehyung stated, but Outlaw was firm.

“Otherwise, I’ll leave this team.”

“Please do as I say.”

“…I’ll talk to the director first.”

“But nothing will change in the end.”

“Your scrim results and Woojin’s already show a huge difference.”

“I don’t care.”

“What’s important is that the process is fair.”

“Is that so important?”

“Just, please do it that way.”

“…I’ll mention it, at least.”

Even as he spoke, Coach Park Taehyung couldn’t hide his bewilderment.

Outlaw must have already fully anticipated that the result would be the same, one way or another.

So why bring this up now?

‘……Ah.’

After pondering for a moment, Coach Park Taehyung thought he understood why Outlaw was saying this.

‘So… it’s come to this.’

The situation he had feared had finally occurred.

In the petty game set up by the adults, the young players were now baring their teeth at each other.

Coach Park Taehyung had also vaguely noticed this fact, but he hadn’t thought Outlaw would be this concerned about it.

From the outside, she… always seemed to be shining.

‘Was she bothered by it?’

It was obvious what Outlaw was concerned about.

Diehard, Choi Woojin.

YSG’s starting jungler.

‘…Woojin has every right to feel wronged.’

If asked which position YSG needed reinforcement the most, YSG’s jungler Diehard was the only player considered an exception to that question.

YSG’s ace.

The hope of the struggling YSG.

Therefore, if player changes or reinforcements were to happen, it should have rightfully started with other positions before the jungle.

However,

The player actually called up to the first team was a jungler.

And a monstrous rookie at that.

To Diehard, Outlaw’s existence was like a truck appearing out of nowhere.

Without any context, it suddenly barged in and hit someone before driving off.

But what could be done?

Unlucky geniuses, unfortunate players.

Players bearing such titles have appeared countless times in esports history.

Moreover, in Coach Park Taehyung’s view, Diehard fell a bit short of deserving the title of an unlucky genius.

All pro gamers are born with a certain kind of genius, but unfortunately, Diehard wasn’t particularly outstanding among them.

Plays quite well, but just that.

Diehard was that kind of player.

‘He was unlucky.’

If Diehard had joined a different team, he probably could have continued his pro career moderately well and, in his later years, concluded it reasonably smoothly overseas.

But he was literally unlucky.

Both for Diehard and for himself.

‘And for Outlaw too.’

Shaking off the thought for a moment, Coach Park Taehyung spoke.

“In return for granting your request, there’s something I need you to do.”

“What is it?”

“Our team is shooting an advertisement soon.”

“We’re also filming some promotional videos while we’re at it.”

“I’d like you to do that… would that be okay?”

“Advertisement…?”

“Yes.”

“It’s a good deal for you too.”

“The incentive is enormous compared to the work involved.”

“I heard it’s half my annual salary… incredible, right?”

That amount of money is huge for someone just starting their adult life.

However, an unexpected answer came back.

“Do I have to do it?”

“Hmm… Why?”

“Can’t I just not do it?”

“I’m really not comfortable with that kind of thing…….”

Coach Park Taehyung smiled bitterly.

In a way, Coach Park Taehyung had judged the person quite accurately.

Outlaw’s passion for the game was real.

The only problem was that this fact wasn’t working favorably right now.

‘I didn’t want to say this.’

Coach Park Taehyung forced himself to say the words he didn’t want to.

“Then there’s no choice.”

“I don’t think I can keep my promise to you either.”

“…Excuse me?”

“The matter of your starting position is far beyond my authority.”

“Enough that I might have to risk my job.”

“I need to at least give the impression that I resolved the ad or promotional video issue, so I have something to say to the director.”

“Do you understand what I mean?”

It was a lie.

This method was no different from the ways Coach Park Taehyung despised, used by Director Choi Taedal or the front-office staff.

However, it was necessary.

This made him no better than a third-rate villain, but Coach Park Taehyung had a self-deprecating thought that maybe he had been like this from the start.

“Then… I’ll do it.”

“I understand.”

“Good, that’s a wise decision.”

“As I said earlier, this isn’t bad for you at all.”

“Setting the ad aside, if the promotional video does well, it’s a chance for you to become the new face of our team.”

Coach Park Taehyung said this as if making excuses to himself.

Only then did it feel like his heart could be slightly at ease.

“……Yes.”

“I’ll be going now.”

“Alright.”

“Good work today.”

Coach Park Taehyung blankly watched Outlaw’s retreating back after she bowed, then turned his steps towards the director’s office.

---

The camera shutter sounds echo relentlessly.

My eyes sting from the intense lighting and the flashes going off everywhere.

Ah, I want to play games.

“Okay, let’s try smiling this time?”

Although I had agreed reluctantly, the advertisement and promotional video shoots were quite exhausting.

I had to wear flashy clothes I wouldn’t dare think of wearing normally, and put on makeup like before.

“…Oh my, you really look like a fairy.”

“Are you really Korean?”

“Why do you speak Korean like that?”

“How about signing an exclusive contract while we’re at it?”

“I’ll definitely promote you.”

“Ahaha……. I’m fine.”

“That’s a shame.”

“Why don’t you think about it again?”

“If it’s Player Yujin… I’m sure you could become a top star.”

“I prefer being a pro gamer.”

Right, I wanted to be a pro gamer.

Though I wasn’t sure if this was truly part of a pro gamer’s job and domain.

“This time, could you spread your arms a bit and strike a running pose?! Right, since the model is good, even rough shots look great.”

“Haha!”

Haha, I feel like a clown.

As I awkwardly moved here and there according to the filming director’s instructions, the thought I had earlier grew stronger.

‘…This isn’t why I asked for things to be fair.’

What am I doing right now?

Did I join this team for this?

Certainly, the past week hadn’t been too bad.

I actively participated in scrims within the team as I wanted, facing off against real pro teams.

Every day was fulfilling and enjoyable.

Of course, there were some mentally challenging things afterwards… but I thought those were unavoidable elements of living as a pro.

But, what is this situation?

‘I know it can’t be helped. But this…….’

Receiving hostility from others, and beyond that, filming strange promotional videos I didn’t want to do.

This isn’t right.

I’m not trying to become a pro just for this kind of stuff.

‘Are all pro teams like this?’

Would things be different if I went to another team?

Well, it would certainly be different.

Although I haven’t experienced it directly, the environment provided by each team varies greatly.

‘But no matter how different it is…… it’s unlikely there would be absolutely no ads or video shoots like this.’

I slowly retraced my memories.

If I had accepted an offer from a team other than YSG, would something have been different?

Yes, prestigious teams like SY or SCV, or maybe slightly less prestigious but still well-known teams sponsored by large corporations.

‘…Wherever I went, I would have had to do things I didn’t want to do.’

Whatever that might be.

I want to be a pro.

I’ve run towards that goal until now.

‘Let’s endure it a little longer.’

This kind of thing doesn’t even count as a trial.

It’s the middle of the season anyway, and if I want to play as a starter, I’ll have to return to the team schedule soon.

And…….

A few more days passed.

Ads, ads, more ads…….

During that time, I barely participated in the team’s schedule and was constantly dragged around to various locations.

Eventually, dressed in a gown and adorned with dangling accessories, I sought out Director Choi Taedal.

“Director.”

“Oh, yes. Our Yujin. What’s up?”

“When can I return to the scrim schedule?”

“Huh? Ahh, you’ll be able to return soon.”

“Filming is tough, isn’t it?”

“Just endure it a little longer.”

At first, I believed those words.

Right, it won’t take long.

I’ll be able to return soon.

Two more days passed, and I felt something was going wrong.

In the recent week, the number of games I participated in for the team schedule was less than three.

Essentially, I had barely participated at all.

‘…This isn’t right.’

This isn’t the life of a pro gamer I idealized.

Of course, I know this might be greedy.

Pros inevitably have things they must do even if they dislike them, and these ad shoots or promotional videos are likely in the same vein for YSG.

‘Still…….’

The doubt I had previously felt gradually turned into certainty.

-Is this really the place for me?

Even if I went to another team, not much would change.

There too, I would feel someone’s hostility, get hurt, and be swayed.

I don’t want that.

‘……Maybe, I should just quit everything and start over from scratch.’

It was during that time.

“How was it? Nothing much, right?”

“To think you get thirty million won just for doing this…… you did well coming to our team, right?”

Director Choi Taedal, who had approached me at some point, said with a good-natured laugh.

Snap-

I heard something break inside my head.

“Ah.”

I get it.

There was no need to deliberate from the beginning.

The answer was already set.

As the long-held question finally turned into conviction, I felt that further 고민 (gomil – deliberation/worry) was rather meaningless.

The decision after long contemplation was made.

“……Excuse me, I need to use the restroom for a moment.”

“Ah, yes, of course.”

“Hey, Director! Our player needs a short break!”

At Director Choi Taedal’s shout, the filming director nodded.

“Ah, yes. Sure.”

“Everyone, let’s take a short break!”

Tossing off the uncomfortable heels, the place I headed towards wasn’t the restroom but a secluded stairwell.

I needed a place to be alone.

Clutching my smartphone, I hesitated for a moment before pressing the call button.

-Tru-lu-lu-lu.

The dial tone rings.

During the waiting time, I recalled memories.

The person I thought of was my younger sibling.

「”Daddyyy!”」

My sibling used to act cute with a nasal voice towards our father whenever they wanted something.

I don’t know if it worked or not, but ultimately, my sibling always got what they wanted.

The reason I thought of my sibling?

It was for a similar reason.

Because there was something I wanted.

-Click.

With a familiar click, a familiar voice came through the smartphone.

[“Uh, Yujin.”]

It was my father.

“Dad.”

I carefully uttered the name I had barely spoken a few times in my entire life.

I don’t know if others are like this, but strangely, while I had little resistance calling my mother ‘Mom’, I had almost never called my father ‘Dad’.

There wasn’t any particular reason; it just happened that way.

[“……Uh, is this really Yujin?”]

My father’s voice, clearly flustered, came through the phone.

I can understand.

It feels quite awkward for me too.

“It’s me.”

A brief silence passed, and then my father’s voice was heard again.

[“Oh, okay. What’s up?”]

This is the important part.

I took a breath and slowly said.

“Dad, lend me just one billion.”