Chapter 94: My place
by AfuhfuihgsA week passed.
During that time, under Coach Park Taehyung’s direction, Diehard and I took turns participating in scrims.
14 wins, 0 losses.
3 wins, 9 losses.
These were my and Diehard’s scrim records, respectively.
“Carry machine, King Outlaw!”
“Wow, if Noona hadn’t stolen Baron there, we would’ve lost. What a call~”
Of course, whenever the team members said things like that, I couldn’t lift my face.
Seriously, how can they say such embarrassing things?
Is it because they’re young?
Is this… youth?
“…Cut it out.”
The team’s atmosphere split into two.
No, to be precise, it was more accurate to say that Diehard, the former starting jungler, was gradually becoming isolated.
“Woojin, did you eat lunch?”
“…I’ll eat separately. You guys go ahead.”
“Really? Alright.”
Gogosing, the mid-laner with a good personality, seemed to look out for Diehard quite a bit, but he couldn’t reverse the flowing tide.
Coach Park Taehyung couldn’t intervene in this either.
Perhaps he didn’t want to pour cold water on the team atmosphere that was barely improving.
As the situation unfolded, such talk naturally began to surface within the team.
“If Noona had been playing, I think we would’ve won this game too…”
“Ah, maybe Noona will be the starter from the second round?”
“Hey, what kind of thing is that to say…”
Within a week, YSG had recorded 1 win and 1 loss.
Even so, I participated in more scrims than Diehard, the current starter, and the scrim results showed a significant difference, so it wasn’t unreasonable for the players to think this way.
…And it was actually true.
My position as the starter was already decided internally, but there was no way Diehard or the other players knew that fact.
“……”
Whenever that happened, Diehard would subtly leave the spot or pretend not to hear and focus on his own game.
The issue of being a starter is an extremely sensitive matter for a pro player.
In reality, countless pros have wasted their prime years by failing to become starters due to the fierce competition within a good team, even after joining one.
There’s a big difference between a pro who plays in matches and one who doesn’t.
Pros who play in matches constantly prove themselves.
Therefore, depending on their performance, even if their current contract ends, if they’ve proven their skill, they can easily demand a contract renewal or receive offers from other teams.
But what about the pros who can’t?
Other teams wouldn’t know the detailed internal situation of YSG, so at this rate, Diehard would become a pro who lost the starting competition in, of all places, YSG, not even a prestigious team.
In a way, he might have to restart his pro career from a worse position than a newly debuting rookie player.
Therefore,
Perhaps Diehard might not be able to continue his pro career in the domestic league anymore.
And among pros, quite a few choose retirement rather than living abroad in an unfamiliar environment.
Diehard was now standing at a critical crossroads as a pro gamer.
‘…Let’s not worry about it.’
Until then, I tried hard to ignore that fact.
Pros prove themselves through skill and results,
But why?
For some reason, I started feeling suffocated.
When I ate, it felt like indigestion, and my nape tingled constantly while playing games.
‘What is this?’
At first, I didn’t know the reason.
I thought it was just my mood, maybe my condition wasn’t great.
‘Uh… something feels…….’
It didn’t take long for me to realize the reason.
“Hiccup!”
While playing solo queue, I suddenly felt a strange presence from behind and turned my head, meeting eyes with Diehard, who was looking at me.
‘Ah…….’
I knew then.
What the damp, unpleasant feeling I had been sensing all along was.
It started that day.
I could feel stares even when I was just sitting still.
Not ordinary stares, but gazes clearly filled with resentment and hostility.
‘What exactly are you so unhappy about.’
At first, I tried hard to ignore it.
But unfortunately, I wasn’t insensitive enough to live ignoring the intense gazes sent by others.
‘……Huh?’
What? What is it?
Why is my breathing…….
“Hahk, haahk…….”
My chest feels tight.
I can’t breathe properly.
It feels like something is pressing down on me.
Deep breaths, deep breaths.
“Hah hoo, hah hoo…….”
I think I know.
I’ve never faced someone’s naked hostility in my life before.
Of course, in League of Legends, the game itself often involves insults that erase even perfectly fine parents, so I could say I have some immunity to curses and slander, but the problem was that I had absolutely no real experience with hostility directed at me in reality.
‘…Wow, I’m really weak.’
I grew up sheltered, perhaps too sheltered.
Someone who lived a normal life would likely have experienced others being jealous or disliking them without much difficulty.
You know, how sometimes people dislike you for no reason, or you dislike someone for no reason.
But I never had that.
「”Yujin.”」
「”Is there anything you want to do?”」
「”Anywhere you want to go?”」
Excessive overprotection.
But necessary protection.
Also, people’s gazes towards me were always filled more with emotions like pity or sympathy rather than hostility.
「”Oh dear…….”」
「”Tsk tsk, poor young thing.”」
I grew up amidst that.
If there was anyone who perfectly fit the description of a flower raised in a greenhouse, it would be me.
I was weak.
Because I was weak, I was cared for and protected.
But now, the real world I stepped out into no longer cared for or protected me.
No… rather, to someone, I had become a vicious plunderer stealing what belonged to others.
Whether I intended it or not wasn’t a very important fact.
What mattered was that others, the person involved, felt that way.
“Ha.”
Of course, it would be a lie if I said I didn’t feel wronged by this hostility.
What did I do wrong?
Is it wrong for a pro to prove themselves with skill?
Why are you looking at me like that?
Won’t you lower your eyes? I’ll just deck you.
“Haaa…….”
Barely catching my breath, I suddenly felt a sense of doubt.
What am I doing here?
Was the pro life I wanted to pursue just this?
Or have I been living in a rose-tinted dream until now, only just facing reality?
‘……F*ck.’
“Ah.”
I flinched, feeling genuine profanity surge up from within my heart.
‘What am I doing here right now?’
I returned to YSG solely to gain certainty about my doubts.
But what is this situation?
“…….”
Is it right for me to be on this team?
I still don’t know the answer, but the scales in my heart are slowly tipping.
It seems this decision won’t take very long.
Coach Park Taehyung doubted his ears.
He had gone to Director Choi Taedal’s office wondering what scheme he was plotting this time, only to receive a notification beyond imagination.
“……An advertisement?”
“Yeah, while we’re at it, let’s shoot a few promotional videos for us too. Do you know how hard the CEO and the General Manager worked to get this deal?”
The news Director Choi Taedal delivered was simple.
Advertisements and team promotional videos.
It meant they were planning to start seriously using Outlaw to make money.
“…Director, no matter what, I don’t think this is right. Have you forgotten the contract terms? What will you do if Outlaw breaks the contract and just leaves?”
Although Coach Park Taehyun still had complicated feelings about Outlaw, he wanted to hold onto her at least as long as he could.
In reality, Outlaw had been performing exceptionally well not only in scrims against SCV but also against other teams, leading the team to an undefeated record whenever she played.
‘Thanks to the improved atmosphere, we even won one official match.’
Though it must be unfair for Diehard, the one who actually secured that victory.
“Taehyung, you say that because you don’t know. Do you know how much incentive goes separately to the player for shooting this ad? It’s almost half your annual salary. She gets paid that much for just going and shooting for about an hour. Have you ever seen anyone in the world who hates money?”
“……Excuse me?”
Wait, it’s that much?
For an ad featuring a rookie player?
Coach Park Taehyun really didn’t want to admit it, but at least when it came to money, Director Choi Taedal, along with the General Manager and CEO, had excellent abilities and instincts.
And, at least in Coach Park Taehyun’s eyes, Outlaw indeed had that much value, so he couldn’t argue further.
“So don’t complain.”
Director Choi Taedal added with a smile.
“Girls that age? They’re all the same. They dream of and admire the glamorous lives of celebrities. For kids like that, games aren’t the goal, they’re a means. They debut as pros, gain some popularity somehow, and try to live like celebrities.”
Coach Park Taehyun immediately refuted Director Choi Taedal’s blunt words.
“……There’s no way that’s true.”
Although it hadn’t been long, Coach Park Taehyun had been watching Outlaw.
Outlaw’s attitude towards the game.
The passion Outlaw possessed.
The overwhelming skill Outlaw displayed.
A gamer with that level of skill and understanding would use games merely as a means?
No, that couldn’t be right.
It was absurd.
Of course, maybe Director Choi Taedal’s words were correct.
Perhaps Outlaw was just using the game as a means, and her skills were achieved not through effort but through innate talent.
It wasn’t like geniuses didn’t exist.
But,
Could what Outlaw achieved really be explained away by something like genius?
Coach Park Taehyun was skeptical about that.
“Really? You think differently from me. Anyway, this isn’t a bad deal for her either. Do you know if such opportunities come easily to a rookie who hasn’t even played a single match yet?”
Of course, they don’t.
But considering Outlaw’s special circumstances, it becomes a different story.
“…What if Outlaw still doesn’t like it?”
“Well, given the contract terms, we can’t force her. Like you said, it would be a big problem if she really tried to break the contract. But then again, persuading her is your job. Isn’t it?”
…Passing the buck like this again.
“Why, not confident? Should I get someone else?”
“…I’ll do it.”
Imagining the methods other coaches or front-office staff would resort to, Coach Park Taehyun volunteered to play the villain himself.
The methods they’d use were obvious.
Team operations are difficult. Please help us just this once. If you don’t help, it will be hard to continue contracts with other players next year.
They would hold the team, her teammates, hostage, using despicable methods to make refusal impossible.
“Alright, I trust you’ll do well. Taehyung.”
Feeling Director Choi Taedal pat his shoulder, Coach Park Taehyun felt goosebumps rise on his skin.
“…I’ll be going now.”
“Okay.”
Leaving the director’s office, Coach Park Taehyun went up to the rooftop again and thought.
‘Will she really agree?’
Coach Park Taehyun was still negative about it, but the truth was still unknown.
Regardless, the team management led by Director Choi Taedal and the General Manager had been surprisingly consistent with their goals so far.
‘They should just run a celebrity agency, why are they meddling here…….’
While Coach Park Taehyun was internally cursing Director Choi Taedal and the team’s leadership, someone approached him.
“Coach.”
“Oh, Yujin. What’s up?”
It was Outlaw.
“I have something to tell you.”
Outlaw’s lips slowly parted,
And Coach Park Taehyun’s face gradually hardened.
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