Chapter 92: Preparation. (1)

Preparation (1)

It is a cold winter.

From my kneeling knees, I could feel the chill of the frozen ground.

Though the faces of those standing around me were hidden by shadows, I could at least tell what kind of gazes they were directing at me.

Was it pity, or sympathy?

No.

It was apathy, devoid of anything else.

Amidst those gazes, I could only look at the woman’s face.

Her tears flowed ceaselessly, her hand caressing my cheek.

I couldn’t say anything.

I just stared at the woman with vacant eyes.

[I’m sorry….]

I couldn’t understand what meaning was held within the apology that flowed from the woman’s lips.

For what?

What exactly were you sorry for?

[Mommy’s sorry….]

The words repeated in a sorrowful voice.

I still couldn’t say anything.

What kind of expression was my father wearing, standing beside me?

I couldn’t bring myself to look up.

If I had looked up then, I would surely have broken down.

Or rather, perhaps I had already broken down then.

[…Stop falling.]

My father’s firm voice could be heard.

The hand that had been touching my cheek slowly moved away.

[…I’m sorry.]

Those damn three words pierce my heart.

Whose sin is this?

It’s snowing.

My body began to tremble uncontrollably from the cold.

My mother’s coat, which she had hastily wrapped around me, slipped down in the wind, but…

No one paid it any mind.

This was the first cold I had experienced since birth.

Not a cold from the season, but a sensation that froze me from the inside out.

Only now could I understand that that was far more terrifying.

[Preparation is.]

[All finished.]

After a few exchanges, my mother bowed her head deeply.

Watching her quietly, I soon asked my father.

[…Why is that?]

I dared not look up.

But I could tell my father was looking at me now.

[…Why are you showing me this?]

I couldn’t understand.

Why did I have to see this?

Why did I have to just watch my mother cry?

I couldn’t know.

I didn’t even want to understand.

[What exactly do you expect from me…?]

[Expectations.]

My father’s low voice pressed down on my shoulders.

What emotion could be felt in that voice?

Anger?

If so, it was too calm.

Sadness?

If so, it was too dry a voice.

[Nothing.]

At my father’s words, I unconsciously looked up and met his eyes.

[I expect nothing from you. Just stay alive, that’s all that matters.]

I suppressed the feeling of my heart tightening at the words held within his sharp gaze.

After staring into my eyes for a long time, he shifted his gaze.

[I will open it.]

As he spoke, with a slight wave of his hand, a massive gate tore through the air behind my mother.

The crimson energy emanating from the gate, which appeared amidst a gust of wind, carried a faint, metallic scent.

[This is….]

Sensing my bewilderment and fear, my mother carefully took my hand.

I looked at my mother with trembling eyes, but she had her head bowed, so I couldn’t see her face properly.

[…I’m entrusting Ryunghwa to you.]

[Mom…?]

I wanted to hold onto her, even now.

Where exactly were you going, and why did you have to leave us?

Perhaps it was too late to ask belatedly, so I reached out desperately, but as the invading energy touched my mother, her body began to disappear in an instant.

[No… No! Mom!]

I tried to move, to grab onto anything, but my father’s hand pushed me back.

I barely regained my balance and tried to rush back in, but in that short time, the gate had already closed.

Nothing remained where my mother had been sitting.

As if nothing had happened at all.

[Why… Why?]

Why you, to us?

I cried out, channeling the emotions coiled within me, but my father still wasn’t looking at me.

I didn’t wish for his love.

I had known for a long time that he was the type of person far removed from such things, so it was fine.

I didn’t wish for his expectations. Back then, as a child, I was already overwhelmed just trying to protect what I had.

[…Why…! Why, why! WHY!!]

I ran at my father and beat against him with all my might, as if striking a wall.

It probably didn’t even leave a scratch, but if I didn’t do this, I felt like I would go insane.

As the strength left my arms and I could no longer swing them, my father spoke to me.

[Satisfied?]

It was a statement that sounded utterly devoid of emotion, as if all feeling had withered away.

I finally collapsed at those words.

Pitch-black darkness descended before my eyes.

Only then could my young self feel it.

This was despair.

As I collapsed under that faint, sickening emotion, gasping for breath amidst my tears…

My father passed by me nonchalantly and said,

[Follow me, I have something to show you.]

That’s what he said, but in reality, it was forced.

My body was already being held and dragged along.

I couldn’t think of anything, nor did I want to think of anything.

All I wanted was to disappear, crushed by the darkness.

However, as if this wasn’t the end, in the underground of Gugga, dragged down by my father’s hand…

I came to understand what Gugga (俱家) truly was.

What it was made for, and what I had to live for.

My father called this my karma, and his own.

Damn it all.

On that pitch-black winter night, I had to realize.

That the rest of my life would undoubtedly be hell.

---

I had to remain silent for a while at Geomhu’s question.

It was an unexpected question.

Because I had never thought she would ask me something like this.

‘…About Mother?’

Since she said she was friends with Mother, it was possible, but that wasn’t my question.

Hadn’t she heard from Gu Ryunghwa?

Or did she know something?

I know Gu Ryunghwa was watching that day.

However, she lost consciousness quickly, so I didn’t think she had witnessed everything.

“Why are you curious about that?”

My voice had unintentionally sharpened slightly. I needed to moderate my tone.

Geomhu maintained a calm expression.

Where did Mother go? It was something I had wondered about my entire life.

Ironically, the answer to that question was something I could only realize after meeting the Heavenly Demon.

“Mother passed away.”

Is that really so?

I harbored doubts myself, but I didn’t want to open that door.

It was right to let the resentment and hatred Gu Ryunghwa held remain as they were.

The truth is a sin.

Damn it, but I had to carry it with me.

“As the details concern the family’s affairs, I don’t think I can tell you.”

I deliberately projected an air of not wanting to answer.

It was better than beating around the bush or trailing off.

After hearing my answer, Geomhu gazed into my eyes for a long time.

I didn’t avoid her gaze either.

The prolonged eye contact ended, and Geomhu closed her eyes.

“I see…. I apologize for asking about something painful.”

“It’s alright. It’s all in the past now.”

“Thank you for understanding. Ah… I’m curious, when do you plan to return to the family?”

“I think I’ll be back in a day or two.”

“Je Hwa Jeon is about to begin soon…?”

Judging by Geomhu’s reaction, she seemed unaware that Gu Ryunghwa had decided not to return home yet.

“Originally, the plan was to wait and leave together, but since my sibling said they wouldn’t go to the family, I plan to leave quickly.”

Gu Ryunghwa had to return to the family from Mount Hua Sect at set intervals.

That was one of the conditions the Family Head had set with Geomhu.

From that perspective, it was something I definitely had to bring her back for, but…

Considering my father’s intentions in sending me to Mount Hua Sect, even staking the Tae Seon Dan…

‘According to the conditions, I must bring her back, but if she throws a tantrum, it’s a position where I don’t have to.’

The elders, the higher-ups of the family, might be watching, but…

If they say I threw a tantrum, I’ll be punished, but it won’t cause major problems.

‘If they’re pissed, they’ll handle it themselves.’

If they say it wasn’t my intention, they’ll deal with it accordingly.

If they didn’t like it, they shouldn’t have sent me.

I didn’t want to force a child who didn’t want to go.

‘Having to do things I don’t want to do is enough for me alone.’

Taking up the tasks I had abandoned in my past life, one by one, was also enough for me alone.

Geomhu wore a peculiar expression at my words.

I spoke as if there would be no problems if possible, but perhaps there were issues after all.

Contrary to my worries, Geomhu quickly nodded and said she understood.

“I see. Understood.”

Having said that, Geomhu immediately got up.

“I apologize for taking up your time.”

“…Are you leaving?”

“I’ve conveyed everything I needed to, so I should disappear quickly. The gazes from outside are a bit intimidating, you see.”

Intimidating gazes…?

Geomhu stepped out the door, and I followed to see her off.

“I look forward to hearing what favor you’ll ask of me.”

“You don’t have to expect anything.”

It was an important matter in a way… but it was something I still needed to think about.

“Next time, perhaps the Divine Physician will accompany me.”

“…There’s no need for them to come. I will visit before I return.”

At my words, Geomhu chuckled and brushed it off.

What was that? Was it a sign she wouldn’t listen…? I felt a slight sense of dread.

“Hm?”

As I followed Geomhu outside, Gu Ryunghwa and Namgung Bi-ah were standing there.

I thought they would have gone for training today, so what was this?

Namgung Bi-ah, with a blank expression, stared alternately at Geomhu and me.

Wondering why she was acting like that, I tried to approach, but Geomhu went up to Namgung Bi-ah first.

“So you’re that child.”

As Geomhu approached, Namgung Bi-ah looked rather surprised.

As Geomhu was a senior martial artist, Namgung Bi-ah tried to bow slightly in greeting, but…

Geomhu gently took Namgung Bi-ah’s hand.

“…Eh!”

“Thank you for saving my disciple…. Thank you so much.”

“No… that’s…”

Namgung Bi-ah, looking bewildered and slightly fidgety, felt different.

“I’ve heard a lot about you from my disciple. She said there’s a pretty older sister who looks after her and helps her a lot.”

“…Gah…”

Namgung Bi-ah seemed embarrassed and averted her gaze slightly.

“You are as lovely as I heard. I’ve never met such a beautiful child in my life.”

With the continuous praise, Namgung Bi-ah’s head bowed lower and lower, as if trying to burrow into the ground.

Looking at Namgung Bi-ah, Geomhu said,

“I heard you’re Yangcheon’s fiancée.”

Yangcheon?

I was taken aback by the name Geomhu uttered.

To be called so affectionately.

Namgung Bi-ah nodded slightly.

She didn’t seem to have any intention of denying it.

By now, I had half given up too…

“Both you and Yangcheon have beautiful hearts, so you’ll surely make a well-matched couple.”

‘No matter how I look at it, that’s not the case.’

I held back because the atmosphere wasn’t right to say it out loud, but inwardly, I immediately denied it.

Geomhu took her leave after telling Namgung Bi-ah she’d like to see her again next time to repay the favor.

Once I confirmed Geomhu had left, I asked Namgung Bi-ah,

“Didn’t you go for training?”

“…Yeah.”

Fortunately, her broken arm seemed to have healed in a few days, as she had removed the bandages.

“…Mm, that’s good… wait, what’s wrong?”

“Hm?”

“No, you just seem to be in a good mood.”

Was I mistaken?

I felt like Namgung Bi-ah was smiling slightly.

She looked expressionless as usual… but somehow, she just seemed happy.

“Nothing’s wrong.”

Namgung Bi-ah answered my question like that, but…

From my perspective, she definitely looked happy.

‘Is it because she got praised?’

Even after praising her beauty a hundred times, she never seemed to care.

It seems she’s more susceptible to compliments than I thought.

---

On the way back to the cabin, Geomhu thought.

‘…What happened?’

It was about the children’s mother.

Gu Yangcheon certainly seemed to know something.

However, he was deliberately trying to hide it.

To the point where he might show hostility if I probed further.

That wasn’t what Geomhu wanted.

Not only did she owe him her life, but she also felt guilty for not being able to do anything, unlike Gu Ryunghwa.

She wished for her disciple’s happiness.

As a master, that was always on her mind.

When her chronic illness brought her close to death, she desperately wished for nothing more than his happiness.

“Ryunghwa-ya.”

At Geomhu’s call, Gu Ryunghwa stopped walking.

Her face bloomed with smiles, as if simply holding hands was enough to bring her joy.

“I heard you said you wouldn’t return to the family, is that true?”

“Ah…”

At Geomhu’s words, a shadow instantly fell across Gu Ryunghwa’s face.

“Well… I said I didn’t want to go, and they said I didn’t have to…”

“Still, you must return. It’s a promise, isn’t it?”

“But…!”

Gu Ryunghwa couldn’t answer.

She knew Geomhu had recovered her health. It was a miracle.

They could go for walks they couldn’t before, and Geomhu would even look at her sword when she had time.

It was dream-like time for Gu Ryunghwa.

That’s why she hesitated even more.

It was true she didn’t want to return to the family, but that wasn’t the sole reason.

The first reason was that Geomhu didn’t have much time left.

Now, the reason was…

‘…What if something else happens while I’m gone.’

It was simply due to her anxiety.

Sensing this, Geomhu gently stroked Gu Ryunghwa’s head and said,

“Don’t worry.”

“Master…”

“Since you’re so anxious, let’s go together this time.”

“Huh…?”

Gu Ryunghwa’s expression changed strangely due to Geomhu’s sudden, incomprehensible words.

Geomhu laughed out loud looking at Gu Ryunghwa. She wasn’t telling a lie to comfort her.

She was sincere.

“I seem to have some business in Gugga too, so let’s go together this time.”

Geomhu is coming along?

It felt like question marks were appearing above Gu Ryunghwa’s head.