Even if I’m Not Loved, I Can Still Love.

‘Do not fear sin. For humans were born unable to be free from evil from their very birth…’

That is the verse that adorns the beginning of the gospel passed down in one religious order.

Those who follow this teaching emphasize that God created the world for humans, but because they violated the set rules, humans were reborn as vile beings.

Indeed, human societies spread across every corner of this continent were filled with what could be called ‘sin’ without exception.

When ugliness came to exist in every place the eye could reach, a man who called himself a child born of heaven walked the path of martyrdom while embracing all the original sins possessed by humans.

Saint Yeshua. The ill-fated savior who died nailed to a cross among a crowd that worshipped sin.

When his body was buried, the disciples who had followed him couldn’t hold back their wails, but soon a piece of news began to circulate among them.

‘Yeshua’s body, which was under strict surveillance, disappeared overnight.’

‘If no trace can be found anywhere human eyes can reach, isn’t there no explanation other than that it ascended to heaven?’

A story that would be fearful to the crowd who considered his claim of being born from heaven as false propaganda.

But unlike the crowd who feared the aftermath that would soon come, the twelve disciples who had followed him began to solidify their hope as they looked down at the empty tomb.

‘He is alive.’

‘The heaven that pitied his nobility has taken him away.’

‘So he will always be by our side, watching over us at all times.’

Although his physical body disappeared, his teachings would be passed down to this world for generations to come.

The twelve disciples who felt the existence of the saint from that memory embraced their respective missions and scattered, spreading the gospel to various parts of the continent, making people endlessly repeat the promised name.

The Lagrid Order.

A force that reveres as a god the saint known to have been born from heaven, and the largest religious order on the continent with the most followers except for Haide.

And a force that formed a bad relationship with an imperial family during the early stages of the conquest war.

“Yes, in the past, our order committed far too many sins.”

In the prayer room located in the church.

The middle-aged man who was reciting a prayer in front of the statue there began to express his guilt at some point.

“Although it was a time when everyone felt confusion, as someone who carries God on their back, we committed very shameful acts. However, even so, we are one body that seeks to inherit the ideology of those who were active at that time… So we should rightfully bear the responsibility stemming from that time.”

Is this a confession to God? Or is it atonement towards fellow humans?

Whichever it is, it’s not words spoken falsely.

The moment one does something that harms their values or conscience, the absoluteness of faith is severed, so they must swear to be upright and noble in their convictions at all times.

“The era when many yearned for salvation has long passed… Now, we too must take time to reflect on all the sins committed over the years and comfort those victims.”

Archbishop Matthias.

He, who held a position second only to the Pope in the Lagrid Order, was someone everyone believed without doubt to be the most noble person among any clergy in this city.

“Including the bad relationship with Bertayu, who was one of those victims.”

After finishing his prayer, the person seated where this man turned his gaze was a woman.

She was neither a believer of the order nor someone who came seeking salvation from the order.

The black cloth clothing boasting wide areas in each part, the sword sheath at her waist, and so on…

The woman armed with things difficult to see even in modern times when national boundaries have begun to blur, if judged only by appearance, could be mistaken for someone who had just become an adult without being strange.

“But I never thought that none other than the current master of Bertayu would respond to the request for this.”

But Matthias knew the identity of the other party.

That she had lived for such a long time that she had seen both the beginning and end of the conquest war that took place half a century ago.

“…I’d appreciate it if you’d watch your words.”

But Celia showed no particular reaction to the guilt he was expressing.

Just still with her arms crossed.

Leaning her weight against the pillar she was resting on, she only mentioned the uncomfortable part.

“Right now, I have set foot on this land only as ‘a retainer of Bertayu and an envoy representing that family’. Please don’t forget the fact that the Duke is currently settled in the domain and working hard on management.”

“Ah, yes. That’s right.”

In fact, it’s known that the Empire’s Sword is still guarding the domain even now.

To make such news a reality, she has been acting as a mercenary who completed training in the outer continent and entered Bertayu’s service, rather than a noble, from the moment she left her domain.

Although it’s unknown for what reason she personally set foot here, for Lagrid, who wishes for good relations with the Bertayu family, this would be seen as an opportunity.

“Yes, I too will do my best for the harmony between Bertayu and Lagrid on this occasion. I look forward to working with you until the matter is concluded, Lady Setsuha.”

He greeted her with formality and respect, conveying such feelings, but Celia did not give any particular answer to Matthias and headed outside the temple.

She had only shown her face to announce her visit anyway.

Given who the other party was, she had no intention of having a long conversation.

“Promoting harmony to settle past grudges…”

It was only when his presence had disappeared and she had finally escaped outside the temple that her mouth opened.

Celia’s gaze, which whispered softly, gradually began to turn towards her surroundings.

The lights filling the streets under the sky where the rain had stopped.

The marble and glass statues reflecting that light gave off a distinctly sacred feeling, but to her eyes, it wasn’t a particularly pleasing sight.

“What a nice era, when even a blood clot that was sucking on its mother’s milk back then can now speak such words.”

Although their teaching is that humans are placed in evil from birth, the fact that those who serve God are actually hiding such ugliness in light.

Isn’t that truly an abominable act?

---

Yes, it was already a story from 40 years ago.

At that time, she had been diagnosed as terminally ill due to a genetic disease she inherited.

Her father poured many things into the religious order to save even such a self, but in reality, it was impossible for any clergy who came to treat her.

At that time, it was thought that the means of treatment depended solely on divine power, but divine power based on restoration even recovers congenital disabilities.

But divine power itself is considered a power bestowed by God.

The religious people of that time considered those who couldn’t receive that power as impious, and with such opinions, she, who was born with a disability, was even treated as cursed by God.

Considering the times, it was unavoidable.

Celia understood that too.

What was unbearable was what they did to her husband.

The order not only branded a boy who tried to save her as a heretic, but also committed the act of sending him to the front lines as a human shield with the status of a prisoner soldier.

‘How can one save with human hands those who could not be saved by God’s miracle? That in itself is no different from mocking the God we serve.’

Isn’t that an incredibly arrogant thought?

From the start, even if a perfect being bestowed power, it’s the ‘imperfect humans’ they speak of who handle it.

If she were to be faithful to the emotions felt from such a past, she could boldly perform even beheading everyone belonging to the order right now.

“That person, is she from a foreign country?”

Of course, the people here wouldn’t even have awareness of that.

“It seems the order has changed a lot. Even inviting someone from the outer continent.”

“Rather, we should see it as a good sign. Hopefully, Lagrid’s teachings will have a good influence on her.”

Passersby in the district where only those belonging to Lagrid are allowed to reside, where she is currently roaming, begin to greet her one by one.

Respect without expecting compensation can be said to be the model of a religious person in itself.

Although she’s not soft-hearted enough to be moved by just that, she still outwardly responded to them and continued walking on her way.

‘Of course, I need to hide my identity now, so I shouldn’t cause any noisy incidents.’

If her identity were to be revealed unnecessarily, that annoying emperor might send troops.

Of course, no matter how many troops come, she could just kill them all, but if she does everything just because it’s possible, wouldn’t it put her husband in a difficult position?

‘That won’t do, I can’t worry Sion.’

Yes, the only reason she’s showing mercy to those abominable churchmen is for that reason alone.

With such thoughts, she arrived at the fountain located in the center of the Lagrid district.

Although it’s the largest area in this region as it’s a plaza, the street was empty without a single person, probably due to the set prayer times.

Has the other party not arrived yet? Thinking this, Celia spent some time looking up at the sky with her arms crossed.

‘For now, I cooperated to enter the city as that emperor guy said, but since I need to hide my identity, I need to help their activities to some extent, he said.’

Her current setting is not as the Duchess of Bertayu, but as a retainer who has sworn loyalty to Bertayu and a wandering mercenary of the continent.

For perfect disguise, she needed to carry out the instructions of superiors in the position of a lower-ranking envoy and mercenary of that family.

‘Honestly, I’m not keen on it, but well… I’ll have to endure it for the sake of Sion, who will lead Bertayu in the future.’

Her love, her everything, and her reason for existence…

The love she feels for him could not be exchanged for any treasure or person. Celia believed that such a value system of hers was not wrong at all.

Except for one, the fruit born from her union with him.

‘And for that child’s sake too.’

A faint smile appeared on her lips as she thought of that existence.

A smile where joy and bitterness coexisted.

‘Even though I thought the child I taught wouldn’t suffer hardships anywhere… It’s still regrettable, still hating me.’

Was it because I shortened my words thinking she was too young?

No, even if I explained in detail, she might not understand.

Now that more than 10 years have passed, no matter what I say, it would only sound like excuses to that child.

“But it’s okay. Even if I’m not loved, I can still love.”

She tried to maintain her smile while cherishing such tender feelings in her heart, but even that eventually sank down.

No matter how much she prepared for infinite love, the reality that those feelings are not reciprocated is inevitably painful in itself.

“You look like you have worries.”

As she was immersed in such emotions, a presence was felt from the side.

The moment she sensed it, the sword at her waist turned into light.

-Boom!!!

A violent explosion erupted from the point where its tip collided.

An unreasonable force that couldn’t be thought of as a sword collision.

The air around the fountain resonated greatly from that impact, but there was no sound of flesh being cut.

Although it was just a check attack, the opponent had succeeded in perfectly defending against that attack.

‘A shield…’

The moment repulsive force enveloped her sword-wielding hand.

Celia, who reflexively distanced herself, lowered her posture and drew her sword while examining the opponent’s appearance.

‘…No, it’s a book.’

What protected the opponent’s head was a thick Bible.

The soft light seeping from its surface indicated that the book was in a state where its properties had changed through a technique using divine power.

‘The shield of Labarum… Is it a sacred law passed down in Lagrid?’

Sacred law.

It’s not a technique with clear principles unlike magic, which is mainly used by religious people.

If we had to say, it’s about implementing something defined through mana drawn by projecting will onto the memory of Halo, which corresponds to God?

Of course, since it’s implementing a record, it can’t be controlled in detail like magic, but conversely, if there’s an object with religious meaning, it’s not impossible to generate power comparable to God by strengthening faith.

But to use the Bible, which is the subject of such faith, for guarding itself.

Wouldn’t it be something you couldn’t even attempt without the confidence to perfectly receive your attack?

‘A promising child.’

Celia, who became a little interested, maintained her sword-gripping posture and examined his appearance.

A man wearing priest’s robes. Is his age similar to her daughter’s?

Beyond the glasses he’s wearing, hollow eyes and dark circles are drawn, but apart from such a decadent appearance, he had talent that could be counted among the top of the religious people she had met so far.

‘Well, if they were to be matched, it would be reassuring if it’s someone stronger than that child. Should I test if he’s suitable as a son-in-law while I’m at it…’

Just as her hand unconsciously reached for the sword handle again with such thoughts.

“Please release your hostility.”

The man opens his mouth, frowning at such action.

It was a voice where fatigue was felt more than displeasure.