Chapter 9: Home Sweet Home, Nowhere Else Like This

The campaign office of the New Wind Democratic Party.

It was located in a grand high-rise building, within arm’s reach of the National Assembly.

A space like this was something minor coalition parties couldn’t even dream of.

—

“…Although we are currently leading in approval ratings, public sentiment is not favorable. As the phrase ‘the most unlikable election in history’ suggests, the general opinion is…”

“Chairman Jang. So what’s your point? Get straight to it.”

This was Cho Seoyoung, the current frontrunner candidate.

She shot a glare at the youth advisor with a frown on her face.

“Our promotional strategy, emphasizing frugality, seems to be backfiring, so—”

“Didn’t I say to get to the point? What’s the solution?”

“Uh… the solution is something we need to discuss from here on…”

The atmosphere turned icy.

It was cold enough to feel the temperature drop.

The party executives attending the meeting exchanged glances, gauging the mood.

Though awkward, this was a routine occurrence.

By now, the advisors could communicate with just their eyes.

‘Damn, why’d he have to bring that up?’

‘The candidate seems really pissed. Should we change the topic?’

‘Yeah, let’s do that.’

Understood.

The policy chief slammed the desk.

“Hey, Jang So-ri! Do you think this is a place for you to spout whatever you want? What kind of thoughtless critique is that?”

“I was merely reporting the situation—”

“Step outside!”

Jang So-ri left her seat.

The policy chief quickly pulled out a smartphone and handed it to Candidate Cho Seoyoung.

“There’s no need to worry so much. These days, public opinion varies widely. In fact, the recent promotional video is receiving rave reviews.”

“Hmm… is that so?”

“Yes! It’s very popular among netizens! Take a look at the comments!”

“She’s great at her job, debates well, is beautiful, and even dances well—what can’t she do?”

“Cho Seoyoung is the best!”

“The song is so catchy!”

“A presidential candidate showing off her energetic dance moves—it’s so refreshing!”

“Her dancing skills are amazing… If I were 10 years younger…”

The shorts video uploaded by Cho Seoyoung featured her doing a simple dance as part of a challenge.

She had even rewritten the lyrics of a K-pop idol’s song into a campaign promise, which cost thousands just to acquire the rights.

“It seems the money spent was worth it.”

“Absolutely! There are especially a lot of comments praising your dancing skills!”

“Heh. Back in my single days, I used to shake my hips in Wangsimni. Ever heard of Golden Star? I was the dancing queen there.”

“No wonder! Hahaha!”

The atmosphere lightened again.

As Cho Seoyoung continued scrolling through the comments, she paused.

“Wait a moment. What is this…”

She couldn’t read it properly as she quickly scrolled past it.

“Let’s film more and upload them! It’ll help attract the younger generation!”

“Oh, yes. Let’s do that.”

The policy chief quickly took the smartphone back.

—

“These forced challenges by politicians are so cringe. That lady’s expression annoys me. She looks like she thinks she’s some kind of dance god. Lady, please don’t show up on my Shorts feed again. This is your last warning…”

That was a comment on Candidate Cho Seoyoung’s Shorts video.

“Isn’t there any positive feedback?”

“Almost none. Some seem to have been manipulated by acquaintances.”

Politicians making Shorts.

It’s not very effective.

Here’s my analysis of why:

‘The Target Audience Disconnect’

The main demographic targeted by Shorts is people in their 20s and 30s.

While everyone from kids to seniors watches YouTube these days, there’s no need to use Shorts to appeal to middle-aged or older viewers.

For that demographic, political YouTube channels, TV, or newspapers are far more effective.

So Shorts are designed to target the 20-30 age group.

However, the creators of these Shorts are not in their 20s or 30s.

Even if they are, their work gets censored by people in their 50s and 60s, making it difficult to capture the unique essence of Shorts.

Here’s an example:

“This is trending these days. How about we parody it?”

“Not bad… but since it’s promotional, shouldn’t we include some of our campaign promises?”

“Shorts are under a minute long, so it’s hard to include promises…”

“We still need to mention the universal disaster relief fund of 1 million won per person, the 3 million new homes for newlyweds, and gynecological benefits for unmarried women. Just those three. But make it concise. Got it?”

That’s how they typically fail.

Not all parties are like this.

Some might allow more creative freedom.

But does freedom guarantee success?

“If the person in charge had that level of content planning skills, they’d already be a successful YouTuber with a million subscribers.”

Succeeding in the YouTube market isn’t easy.

Even videos that make you wonder, “How does this have a million views?” are often carefully crafted pieces of art, designed to exploit attention-grabbing tactics and dopamine triggers.

Granting creative freedom sometimes results in rookie politicians making candidates do ridiculous acts, leaving behind embarrassing moments in history.

“These disasters stem from recklessly diving into a market with an absurdly high barrier to entry.”

Does making fish-shaped buns look easy?

That’s only because the boss is incredibly skilled.

The same goes for Shorts.

You can’t approach it with the mindset of taking it easy.

“Director Bong, are you sure this is okay? No matter how cute our candidate is, there’s never been a good outcome when short-form challenges were tied to politics.”

Many party members expressed their concerns.

Bong Soohee replied with an indifferent expression, as if it had nothing to do with her.

“But you all don’t have money, do you?”

“……”

They didn’t have money!

That meant their promotional methods were severely limited.

In the end, Shorts might be like a ray of light for them.

Bong Soo-hee held up her smartphone.

It was a channel specializing in Shorts, mostly posting videos of adorable animals.

“Cute things do well. And our candidate is ridiculously cute. So there’s no reason not to try.”

“Hmm… Now that you mention it, that might be true.”

Once again, party members were swayed by Bong Soo-hee’s whispers.

So, what kind of Shorts are we going to make?

“How about we each pitch an idea?”

“How about this? It’s trending these days! Though, would dancing be too hard for the candidate?”

“No way. That’s not possible. The issue isn’t the dancing; it’s the copyright.”

“Oh, right. That’s true.”

You can’t just use any song for a campaign.

To use Shorts as a political promotional tool, it had to steer clear of copyright issues.

“Is it hard to get permission?”

“Musicians are allergic to anything political, and it costs a ton of money. Even songs from semi-known artists start in the thousands, so using a well-known track is basically out of the question.”

Once again, curious stares poured onto Bong Soo-hee.

The hopeful glimmers in their eyes from a few minutes ago were nowhere to be found.

All that was left was skepticism.

“So, it looks like we’ll have to rely on Director Bong’s method after all. This tongue-twister challenge… do you really think it’ll work?”

Tongue twisters.

It was something everyone had tried at least once as a child.

“The manager of the soy sauce factory is Manager Kang… The steel bars in the police station cells are iron bars… The giraffe picture I drew…”

It was a game where you rapidly said sentences like these.

Park Seok-ji grumbled as if he didn’t like the idea at all.

“Director Bong, why tongue-twisters of all things? Isn’t that too old-fashioned and boring?”

“Once you try it, it’s actually fun.”

“Come on, only kids would like that.”

“I still practice it at home when I’m bored.”

“That’s just because Director Bong has a uniquely eccentric mindset. Isn’t there a trend called ‘insiders’ these days? The cool kids are into trot music. Have you seen YouTube? Even young people are singing trot.”

“That’s probably just the algorithm.”

“‘Probably just the algorithm’ sounds like casual speech.”

“Hmm~ Hmm-hmm~”

As the atmosphere grew tense, Bong Soohee started humming a random tune and left the office.

She even mimed playing a flute against her nose.

“Director Bong is really odd when you think about it.”

“Assemblyman, please bear with her a little longer. She’s a rare talent we brought in from the outside…”

“Hmph. I should’ve brought someone I know. There are plenty of skilled and personable people out there.”

Park Seokji and Bong Soohee.

They clearly didn’t get along.

“Alright, everyone, let’s focus back on the meeting. There’s still a lot to do. Candidate, are you ready to focus?”

“…!”

The candidate jumped out of their chair, grabbed a toy dolphin from a basket, and put it back in its place.

Then they returned to their seat.

“I’ll focus…!”

“What a good kid.”

“Already tidying up their toys so well~”

“That’s our candidate for you!”

Come on, everyone.

Aren’t you treating them like a child?

There’s no joy in praising a presidential candidate for tidying up toys.

Still, my body reacted honestly.

I couldn’t help but puff up with pride!

“Let’s begin with strategy planning. Planning department, please present your measures.”

“The revised promotional strategy pursues extreme efficiency…”

I widened my eyes and opened my ears, fully focusing on the meeting!

“Yawn…”

I couldn’t help it.

Swinging my feet that didn’t touch the floor, I spent the time waiting for it to end.

Meeting adjourned.

“Let’s finish a bit early today. Everyone must be tired from preparing for the press conference.”

Ending early turned out to mean 9 PM.

With it being election season and my TS syndrome acting up, it couldn’t be helped.

While everyone gathered their things, Bong Soo-hee handed me a tablet.

“What’s this…?”

“A fast-talking challenge.”

It seemed she had completed the challenge sentences.

But I wasn’t particularly motivated.

Honestly, for once, I agreed with Assemblyman Park.

“This is supposed to be a challenge?

For something that came out of Bong Soohee’s head, it feels way too ordinary and likely to flop.”

As if she read my thoughts, Bong Soohee provoked me.

“If you can say this without missing a syllable in under 5 seconds, you’re a genius. If not, you’re an idiot.”

“Director Bong, seriously? Genius or idiot? We’re not kids, that’s so childish.”

Han Seoyoung, who was next to us, tried to intervene.

I agreed with her.

Genius? Idiot? So childish.

“I kind of want to be a genius, though…”

It was so childish that my body reacted instinctively!

“Then practice~ If you don’t practice, you’ll end up an idiot~”

“Come on, stop teasing me! Candidate, I’ll help you! Let’s practice hard together!”

“Practice hard…?”

“Yes! Hard practice!”

“Hard… practice!”

Bong Soohee, how dare you try to make a fool out of me?

Even though I’m stuck in the body of a lisping elementary school kid, I’ll prove to you that effort can overcome physical limitations…!

“Alright, everyone, let’s head out now. Turn off the lights. Manager Han, did you grab the office keys?”

“Yes, we just need to leave now.”

The office workers and party members parted ways in front of the building.

“Bye, Jiwoo-ping~”

“Where are you going? Lawyer ping?”

“Going home! Jiwoo-ping, get some rest at home too, see you tomorrow!”

“Okay! Bye!”

“Waved goodbye! Haha.”

Maybe it was because they were finally getting off work, but everyone had smiles blossoming on their faces.

At first, I smiled too.

But then, I started feeling down.

“Ah, bye….”

I murmured while watching the retreating backs of the party members who no longer turned around.

Just a moment ago, the place was buzzing with their voices, but now it felt so empty.

It was like the loneliness that lingers after bidding farewell to a swarm of relatives during the holidays.

“Oh, come to think of it, what about the candidate? Since you’re a child now, you can’t stay alone…”

Han Seoyoung muttered.

Ever since my TS transformation, I hadn’t returned home.

During the three days of preparing for the press conference, I stayed in the office lounge.

It wasn’t particularly uncomfortable or difficult.

I wasn’t the only one doing so; the party members practically lived in the office too.

Especially Han Seoyoung, who stayed by my side 24/7, looking after me.

“I’ll take her in.”

“Director Bong?”

“Yeah, I live alone.”

Bong Suhee suddenly volunteered to take me in.

That was unexpected.

She was someone who avoided troublesome things at all costs.

But staying alone with Bong Suhee in her place…

That felt a little odd.

“No way.”

“Why?”

“I don’t trust you, Senior. You don’t even know how to take care of a child.”

“You don’t know how either.”

“I’m studying hard for it, at least!”

While we were bickering, Park Seokji chimed in.

“What are you all doing, still standing around? Ah, it’s because of our Jiwoo, isn’t it? How about coming to Grandpa’s house? Grandma will cook lots of delicious food for you!”

“Eek!”

I quickly clung to Han Seoyoung’s thigh.

“Hoho, what a cute little thing.”

Park Seokji was kind to offer, but I didn’t want to spend 24/7 with him.

I had a feeling he’d relentlessly beg me for kisses or something.

“In that case, there’s no choice. I’ll have to take care of her.”

Once again, it came down to Han Seoyoung.

The fact that she kept looking after me…

It made me feel a little guilty about letting a grown woman take a child home alone.

I should make sure to thank her properly one day.

We parked the car in the villa’s lot.

A children’s song played faintly from the car speakers.

“Even if I’m called to a joyful place, my resting place is my small home~”

Kang Jiwoo had found this song on YouTube to play as we headed home.

It felt sinister.

Or so I thought.

As Han Seoyoung stretched her stiff neck, she turned her head towards me in the passenger seat.

“Candidate, do you want something to eat? Should we stop by a convenience store and grab some food?”

“…”

Kang Jiwoo didn’t answer. She just stared blankly at Han Seoyoung, her mouth half-open, lost in thought.

‘Why does it feel like she’s suddenly shy?’

Was she tired?

Or maybe nervous.

After all, Han Seoyoung was just as nervous herself.

“On the outside, she looks just like a little kid, but the fact remains that she’s the Jiwoo senior I knew, isn’t it…?

Kang Jiwoo, a sociology major at Hanguk University.

With a tall and striking appearance,

Yet a head always full of complicated thoughts.

Kang Jiwoo had been Han Seoyoung’s role model since their university days.

Admiring him that much, it would be a lie to say she had never once seen him as a man.

Thump…!

For no reason, her heart pounded loudly.

It wasn’t out of romantic excitement.

Kang Jiwoo blinked his large, round eyes and mumbled,

“…Joy.”

“Huh? What did you say?”

“Ca-Candy Joy… Can I buy it…?”

Candy Joy.

It was a bead-shaped chocolate sold at convenience stores.

Inside, there was a tiny toy that kids loved.

‘Ugh… He’s so cute it hurts my heart…!’

Kang Jiwoo, now a different kind of heartbreaker.

It was the moment when Han Seoyoung’s apprehension about looking after a child melted away.

Click.

She opened the front door and stepped inside.

As the sensor light turned on, the house lit up.

She flinched for a moment.

‘Oh, right. I didn’t clean.’

The room was a mess.

Clothes and items were scattered everywhere.

The recycling trash she hadn’t gotten around to throwing out was also piled high.

‘I don’t usually let it get this bad, but this is kind of embarrassing…’

Because of the election, she had been so busy that she kept putting off household chores.

If the original Kang Jiwoo had seen this, he would have freaked out and unleashed a barrage of scolding.

‘Is this a house or a pigsty? Can’t you clean up a little?’

That’s what he would’ve said. He couldn’t stand clutter, after all.

At times like this, she was relieved that Kang Jiwoo was now an innocent child.

Kang Jiwoo stood blankly at the entrance without taking off his shoes.

“Candidate, aren’t you going to come in?”

“…”

Slowly, he turned around.

He was trembling as if something terrified him.

In a whisper so soft it could have been ASMR, he spoke:

“S-Sil-jjang-ping… what do we do…?”

“Sorry? About what?”

“There’s a… th-thief… in Sil-jjang-ping’s house…!”

“……”

A child’s innocence.

Sometimes, it came with a spicy kick.