Chapter 9: Five years gone

My life, which I thought would continue as it was after that day…

“…”

…changed drastically.

Rustle

Lacking. I’d always felt like something was missing.

How many years had passed? Fine lines were starting to appear on my neck.

Five years. Enough time for the world to change.

Rustle, rustle

Five years ago, around this time, I went through a lot. When the weather started to turn cold. When my heart… wasn’t yet cold.

“…”

I’d always longed for love. Romantic love. No, that wasn’t it.

A father. I needed a father. I craved his guidance. Just stay off social media. Read books, find hobbies, and you’ll be fine. Even with that advice, some things just couldn’t be fixed.

I needed paternal love. A father who was also a friend. A caring father. Even a patriarchal father would have been better than nothing.

It was a void. That’s what I’d been grappling with for the past five years. That’s why I’d failed so miserably, why I kept ruining relationships, unable to fix them.

“…It snowed a lot.”

I lacked love. That’s why I clung to those negative, toxic experiences, even though I knew they were wrong. That’s why I couldn’t push away the hands that reached for me in the real world, comforting myself with the excuse that it was “just a dream.”

I’m not saying it was bad. Those experiences shaped me, made me who I am today.

I’d just mistaken affection for paternal love.

“…”

I think the biggest reason I realized this was because of my guardian. The one who, for almost five years, never told me her name. My only friend, my lover.

A person who didn’t exist.

Ring

“I’m home—”
“Welcome hooome~!”

But…

Hug

“Oof…!”
“Why are you so late~? I thought you abandoned me~!”

…here she was, in front of me, clinging to me, acting spoiled. Cute, lovely, kind, beautiful…

“…Pfft…! You think I’d do that…?”
“Heehee~ Of course not~! Never~!”

My very own… non-existent person.

“Didn’t you say you had a present for me~? Christmas is coming soon~ What is it~?”
“Where’s the fun in telling you…?”

Thanks to her, I was able to get through it all.

Two years ago, Mom died in a hit-and-run accident. The debt was split evenly between my siblings and me. I locked myself in the funeral home for days.

My siblings did the same. But… they didn’t recognize me.

Yeah.

We’d seen each other often. Hyung had moved out, and Noona had moved out shortly after I transformed, after returning from her trip overseas. But we’d met, we’d interacted.

No one remembered me. Was it shock? Something else? I don’t know. But it was… shocking.

Five years. Almost five years. A lot had happened. Too much.

I want to tell you everything, but we have a lot to do. So I’ll keep it short.

“…Can’t we take a break tonight…?”
“Heehee~ I don’t know about that~”

Mom’s death… It changed me profoundly.

She didn’t leave a will. Too busy working, providing for me, she hadn’t had the time. But I found something… a diary. Her diary. And in it, she wrote…

…So that my youngest can live comfortably…

The driver turned himself in. He’d hit her with his car and run away. Then he came back…

…and bowed his head before us. All three of us.

My siblings were speechless. I could see the turmoil in their eyes. They were too overwhelmed to react. But I… I was still a hothead back then. I’m better now, but back then…

Smack

That son of a—!!!

Even now, the memory makes me cringe. I ruined any chance of a proper settlement.

I was hurting. He’d taken away Mom’s love, the only source of parental affection I’d ever known, in an instant, with a single careless act.

I couldn’t control myself. Maybe I could have handled things differently with Hyeji… but with Mom’s death… I just reacted.

He said he was on his way home from work. Mom was on her way home from work too. I wonder what she was carrying… The coffee I’d asked her to bring home? It still felt… unreal. How did I feel when I got the call at work?

I can barely remember.

“…”

Splash

After that… I couldn’t do anything. Grief consumed me. Both my parents gone before I even turned twenty-one… It didn’t seem real.

This wasn’t the kind of “special snowflake syndrome” I’d wanted. (TL Note: special snowflake syndrome a derogatory term implying an inflated sense of uniqueness, entitlement, or an inability to cope with opposing opinions, often used to criticize individuals who are perceived as overly sensitive or demanding special treatment.)

“…”

Well, I did do something. I started a business. I desperately wanted to pay off the debt. Like Mom, I poured all my energy into pursuing my dream. Coffee. A cafe. I put off the motorcycle, but now I could easily afford one.

I became a successful entrepreneur. In just two years. The stock market was kind to me. Mom’s last gift, perhaps. A chance for me to live happily.

Creak

“…Haa…”

 

Enough reminiscing. The past five years were bleak. Let’s talk about the present.

My franchise wasn’t a mega-success, but it was successful. I made 7.5 million won a month, sometimes more, sometimes less, depending on trends and the local economy.

I was rich. I’d made it.

Obsessive quality control and lucky timing played a big role. Riding the wave, seizing the opportunity, and working my butt off… That’s how I saw it.

But there was a problem.

Press

“…Gah…!”
“Still hurts, huh?”

I’d collapsed from overwork. And ever since, my side had been hurting. The doctors weren’t sure what it was. They suspected kidney stones, but the X-rays were inconclusive. They said it wasn’t serious yet, but I wasn’t so sure.

If it hurt this much when I pressed on it… it felt pretty serious.

“A-ambushing me after a shower… That’s not fair…”
“Oh, it still hurts that much?! I-I’m sorry…!”

Okay, enough about me. Let’s talk about her.

 

“A fox’s touch is a healing touch… A fox’s touch—”
“It hurts more…!”

The one who could be resurrected by absorbing my energy. She failed.

Or rather, she couldn’t take my energy. I was too busy, too stressed, and my health wasn’t great. She was just bad at her job.

I thought she was feasting on my energy, but apparently, she’d been using her reserves, even the last time she manifested. Damn it.

I was hoping for a full resurrection within two years, but seriously…

“…Ugh…”
“Should I call an ambulance?! What are we going to do, CEO…!”

She claimed she could manifest at home without my energy now. I wasn’t sure I believed her, but seeing her here… maybe it was true.

Flop

“…So, tonight, let’s rest—”
“Don’t be such a baby.”

Fluffy. Holding her tail was healing. It washed away all the pain of the past. With her, I didn’t need anything else. She was my everything. My alpha and omega.

The one who’d been with me through thick and thin. The one I loved.

Not a person, but… Starting this Christmas, she would be.

“…So what’s my present~? I can’t wait any longer~”
“Be patient…”

Slide

I’d prepared a name for her. And a homemade ID card, but I’d save that for Christmas.

“No! Don’t tease me! Why would you tell me you had a present and then make me wait?! Just go cuddle your pillow or whatever!”
“Hey…”

But I wanted it to be a surprise. She snatched her tail away. Aw, my fluffy tail…

“…A spirit who’s lived for centuries, and you have no patience…”
“What was that?”

I gave in.

“Eunhye, just wait a little longer~”
“…Huh?”

“Eunhye, you don’t like it? I thought you might not, it’s not a very pretty name, but…”

I hoped she liked it. It wasn’t the prettiest name, but… wasn’t she a blessing to me, a miracle? And “Eunhye” was better than some weird name like “Kieun” or something.

Okay, it’s not a pretty name, I know. But… I just… I wanted to call her that. Even if she hated it.

“…My… name…?”
“…”

She loved it. Thank goodness. Look at her blushing. She looked like she was about to pounce.

Hug

“Eek!”
“Eunhye… Yes… I’m Eunhye… Eunhye…! Heehee…!”

Her fur was almost silver. I hadn’t planned it, but it suited her perfectly. I was so glad she liked it.

“My first name in centuries~! I love it! I’m so happy…! Now I’m truly yours, Semin…!”
“You were always mine, Hyea.”

Hyea. A cute nickname, right? It sounded even prettier.

“You already have a nickname for me~? Heehee…! You’re the best, truly the best… You’ve made my Christmas so meaningful… Speaking of last year around this time…”
“W-wait… Wait—”

Uh oh. This wasn’t good.

“You wore a red ribbon and said you were my present…”
“Hey!”

I was… a bit unstable last year. I craved affection, so… Yeah. Don’t remind me.

Hug

“…I liked it all.”
“I… don’t know what you’re talking about…”

I was doing well. Considering everything I’d been through, I had a good life, good people around me. I was thriving.

All thanks to my guardian, perhaps. I could finally live happily.

I should visit Mom’s grave tomorrow.

---

Like any other morning, we lay naked in bed, tangled in the sheets.

Buzz

“…Mm…?”

But this morning, it wasn’t my alarm that woke me. It was a phone call.

“…Is that Jeong…?”

Jeong, the new cafe owner I’d helped out, was calling again. I wanted to deal with it quickly, but…

“…”
– [Semin…]

It was Noona.

“…Hey.”
– [I’ve been busy lately…]

I expected this call. I was just surprised it took so long. Or was it fast, considering she didn’t even recognize me at the funeral?

“…So…?”
–[ I need some…money]

The line went dead.

“…Don’t even bother responding.”
“…Hyea…”

I didn’t hang up on her.

“…The mere sound of their voices makes my fur stand on end. Words have power, Semin. Don’t let such voices taint your precious ears.”
“…”

Hyea had changed so much. Five years ago, she was like a wild animal in heat. Now, she sounded like a wise sage.

“…Okay.”

I took the phone back, my cheeks flushed.

Buzz

“…Huh?”

An unknown number.

“A customer?”

I answered. I didn’t realize it was 4 a.m.

Too early for business calls.

“…Hello?”

–[ Semin, it’s Hyeji.]