Chapter 89 : Training (6)

Is having little muscle in my body a problem?

No, looking at how I react only to Ayla’s actions, that’s not the issue.

Of course, this body has almost no muscle. The reason my sword is much thinner than Ayla’s is partly because of that.

I think I have a vague understanding of what my other fate might have been.

I was born in a brothel.

Although being a boy didn’t prevent me from selling my body, it was a story that came after I had reached an age where I could endure a certain amount of violence.

Before that, it would have really been life-threatening.

In my opinion, as a child, I was more on the “pretty” side.

Maybe, in the brothel, they were planning to use me later.

And high-quality goods shouldn’t be damaged.

They have to be sold for a long time at a high price.

In a sense, well, I could say my fate was somewhat similar to Ayla’s. The only difference was that I was a “boy,” which was a bit of an obstacle.

Then, what if I had been born a girl under such a fate?

Even as a boy, I was “pretty.” Perhaps, even if I were about ten years younger, it would have been the same.

The brothel would have eventually been destroyed, and I would have survived by luck—but that would have been the end. I probably wouldn’t have lived for more than a few years. Could I have lasted a year?

…If, the brothel hadn’t been destroyed and I had continued to grow up there.

The outcome is obvious.

If I were lucky, I would have become the mistress of a noble and left the brothel.

Of course, I may be overthinking this. Maybe fate isn’t something that can be judged this way. I was just imagining, “If I had been born a girl, I would have grown up like this.”

Maybe the “result” of the time spent as a boy is simply gone.

…Did I have talent for this kind of thing too? Just like Ayla, who seems to enjoy tormenting me, I also…

“Ayla, ma’am…!”

I felt Ayla’s hand dangerously move down, and I panicked and blocked it.

But her hand was caught by the other hand. Even when I tried to block it with the other hand…

My right hand was suddenly lifted above my head.

Unfortunately, Ayla’s chest was in the path, and for a moment, I lost strength due to the sensation from my forearm over her clothes.

My body was pulled up, following my arm.

I had been resting my head on Ayla’s thigh, but now I was lying on her thigh, with my back on top.

My face, which had been pressed against Ayla’s chest, barely moved to the side, and I could now reach the armrest…

“Hehe.”

It’s close.

Ayla’s face is close.

As Ayla brought her face closer to mine, her chest pressed against my own.

I tried to flail my free hand, but it was easily stopped.

The hand that had been on my belly also overpowered my other hand.

Ayla used her strength to lift my hands above my head and overlap them.

Then, she pressed them down with one hand.

“Now, you can’t move, right?”

The heartbeat I feel against my chest, is it my heartbeat? Or is it Ayla’s? Maybe it’s both…

“Huh!?”

“You make an interesting sound. What animal does that sound belong to? I’ve never heard such a sound before, hmm…”

Ayla placed her other hand on my belly and thought for a moment.

“Should I call it the sound of a human crying? Well, humans are, in a way, animals. We are nothing but animals with thoughts like these. You, me, and Luna.”

“Ayla, ma’am…”

What should I say? I’m not sure. All I can do is groan and call Ayla’s name. What other reaction could I have?

“……”

Ayla stared at me quietly for a moment. Her face was a little flushed.

Was she excited?

Or was she exerting some effort in holding my hands?

My legs, tightly curled up, were tingling. Honestly, I felt like I was about to lose strength.

If that happened, I would probably end up sprawled out like a dead frog.

No matter how long the skirt is, I wouldn’t be able to hide that completely.

The warm sensation on my belly disappeared.

Ayla had taken her hand away.

The slight dampness on my belly was probably from the sweat I had shed.

At least it hadn’t gone further down.

That’s a relief.

Ayla must have something on her hand now.

Ayla looked at her slightly wet hand for a moment, then slowly brought it to her face.

“Ah.”

Then, stopping right in front of her nose, Ayla looked at me after hearing that sound from me.

Although my mouth and nose were covered, I could see her eyes squinting.

“Hehe.”

Ayla’s hand, which had been pressing down on mine, pulled away.

Surprised, I tried to get up, only to realize a little too late that something was still holding my body down.

Ayla stared at me for a while, as I tried to figure out how to get out.

My heart hurts.

Not because of any emotion, but because it’s really beating too hard.

Was this the situation I had dreamed of?

Maybe, yes, I think so.

My heart hurts.

Ayla thought so.

The emotions that wrapped around her heart were varied.

Could the pleasure of tormenting someone really be this enjoyable?

No, if someone else had shown this kind of reaction, Ayla probably wouldn’t have been this happy.

Not with other women, of course, and she had no particular desire to dominate men like this either.

If she had to recall someone, only one man would come to mind.

“…….”

If she tried to find him now, would she be able to?

If she did find him, would she be able to bring him back?

Taking him away from the woman he’s living with—just thinking about it made her feel too guilty toward that woman.

More than anything, she didn’t want to go that far with him.

It might make her happy, but he would probably feel a much greater sense of guilt than the mild guilt Ayla now felt toward Luna.

Why, Luna had come to her voluntarily, willing to endure it herself.

So wouldn’t it be okay to push her a little further?

But he… he wasn’t that kind of person.

It was fun seeing his troubled expression.

It was nice to know he was troubled because of Ayla.

Just like how Luna’s face crumpling and tearing up because of Ayla felt satisfying, it would have been enjoyable if he had shown that kind of reaction to Ayla, too.

But still, she didn’t want to become estranged from him.

If they were going to become enemies, it would be better to just stay strangers.

If Ayla were to find out that he was with another woman, would she be able to handle that?

Even now, when she had a bit of mental space, thoughts like this were creeping in—could she really avoid imagining him sleeping with another woman every day?

No, she definitely wouldn’t be able to.

Ayla didn’t want to live like that.

“Well, whatever.”

Ayla said.

Looking at the clock hanging on the wall, it wasn’t late enough to go wash up yet.

No, maybe she should just go in now and spend some time with Luna.

After all, they were already close enough to sleep together, with thin clothes pressed against each other.

“Let’s take a break for a bit. Training isn’t over yet, so don’t relax too much.”

Ayla leaned back, helping Luna to sit up.

As if her legs had gone weak, Luna couldn’t stand up properly for a moment.

After stumbling a bit, she finally stood up while clutching her skirt tightly.

Her usual confident demeanor was replaced by a timid atmosphere.

“…”

She looked a little pitiful.

Ironically, Luna looked even more like a puppy right now.

Like a stray dog that had just been drenched in rain.

If she had ears, they would probably be drooping down.

And suddenly, Ayla felt another pang of guilt.

In the end, was Luna nothing more than a substitute for him?

Was Ayla trying to find satisfaction with Luna in place of the one she couldn’t have by her side?

Ayla had always thought that she wasn’t a bad person, but…

She couldn’t bring herself to say, “I’m sorry.”

If she said that, it would mean that everything Ayla had done so far was something to be sorry for.

“Go sit over there and rest for a bit. I’m going to take a short break too.”

That’s what she said, but today’s training was probably over.

Would Luna really be able to remember Ayla’s scent?

Of course not.

It was just something she said to tease her.

Ayla took off her shoes and stretched out her legs on the sofa, reclining.

The spot where Luna had been lying down was still warm.

It was even a little damp.

Thinking about the fact that she had been touching that body just a moment ago made Ayla feel oddly embarrassed.

She reached toward the table and picked up the book she had read several times before.

Maybe, just maybe, a lot of what was written in this book might be true.

There were still many things written in the book.

How far could she go?

How much would Luna be able to endure?

Could they really go all the way?

Ayla wasn’t entirely sure if that’s what she really wanted.