When a Butterfly Begins to Flutter Its Wings (4)

Such a thought suddenly occurred to me.

You know, that thing.

The porter in fantasy novels.

Because she was wobbling with a bag as big as her body, despite being only as big as a mouse’s testicle.

It was endearing, and pitiful, but also lovable.

Son Yena.

It was a face I was seeing for the first time in a month since the semi-pro selection.

Her hairstyle was still twin tails. Her hair seemed a bit longer than back then.

Surprisingly, she hadn’t grown at all in height. She’s tiny like an acorn. If you put her next to Choi Haru, the Nongnondan friends would probably faint.

The players covered their mouths and whispered among themselves.

“Wow, she’s so cute.”

“What’s this, how old is she?”

“I don’t know. She looks like a middle schooler.”

Son Yena put down her large bag and wiped off her sweat.

She bowed excessively to me as if about to hit her head on the ground and greeted:

“…Hello.”

Huh? This isn’t the reaction I expected.

Like, “What are you looking at?”

Or, “Don’t greet me.”

Or, “Don’t act like we’re close.”

Or, “Don’t breathe…”

Is this going too far?

I expected a reaction like a stray cat clearly snarling as if about to bite me right away.

Surprisingly, her manners are too proper.

I waved my hand brazenly and returned the greeting:

“Hi, Yena!”

“…Yes.”

A fluffy feeling sprouted in my head.

…She’s cute.

She’s so cute I want to put her in my pocket and carry her around like a kangaroo.

I want to roll my tongue and make clicking sounds and call out “Yena, come here” to that extent.

Son Yena’s head is busy like Hong Gildong, jerking east and west.

She stares at me intently, then turns her head away again. She looks up again, then lowers her head again.

“Do you have something to say to me?”

I asked, lowering my eye level.

Son Yena shrugged her shoulders and bit her lip, denying:

“N-no, not really!”

“Then why do you keep looking at me?”

“Th-that, well, uh, um, about that time, I’m sorry again…”

That time.

It seems she’s still conscious of what happened during the semi-pro selection internally.

“Don’t apologize. It was those bastards who did wrong, not you.”

“Still, I’m sorry…”

“Tsk, stop it.”

Director Yang Myunghyun, who had been listening quietly, patted Son Yena’s shoulder.

“Don’t lower your head carelessly. Say a word about your ambition.”

“Yes, yes!”

Desire glistened on her tense face.

Son Yena clenched her fists and spoke:

“Ah, um, uh… Though I’m lacking, I’ll work hard to bring this team its first championship.”

“Pfft!”

Laughter swept through the practice room again at her bold ambition.

Son Yena’s face turned red like a carrot.

“Why, what, why are you laughing!”

I quickly chimed in:

“That’s right! She’s just so cute!”

“…What are you saying, unni!”

Gil Taesung raised his hand and asked:

“Yena-ttang. How old are you?”

“I’m going into 2nd year now.”

“Wow, 14 is an age where you can chew iron rods.”

“I’m in 11th grade!”

“…Huh?”

All eyes in the practice room fixed on Son Yena’s face like throwing stars.

Yang Myunghyun also joined in, sending a disbelieving gaze.

“I-I’m telling the truth!”

Son Yena finally pulled out her student ID from her shabby wallet.

[Son Yena]

[Yesin Girls’ High School]

“Wow, it’s real.”

“How is this possible?”

“Shouldn’t you be getting growth hormone injections even now?”

Yang Myunghyun clapped his hands and cleared up the whispering atmosphere.

“Park Mutae. You show them their dorm rooms and help them unpack.”

“Ugh? Me?”

“Yes, you.”

Park Mutae.

Exotic and sophisticated appearance. He’s even wearing earrings and a denim jacket.

Did this bastard come to the practice room or a club?

He looked like a typical grasshopper playboy style, but what’s surprising is that this guy is the team captain.

Park Mutae whined in a displeased voice:

“Director. I’m beat from working out this morning.”

“What are you saving your lump for? Stop dawdling and help quickly. Dismissed!”

Park Mutae, with his hands in his pockets, dragged his slippers as he approached.

“Chicks. The dorms are right below, on the 9th floor.”

“Ah, okay.”

“The biggest room in the corner is your room, and it’s fine if you two share, right?”

Son Yena and I spoke simultaneously:

“Yes.”, “I don’t want to.”

…Huh?

I drooped and muttered:

“Yena doesn’t like me.”

“It’s not that I don’t like unni. It’s because I have sensitive and nasty sleeping habits.”

“I see. You don’t like me. Is there a smell coming from my body or something?”

“…No, that’s not it.”

“I’ll wash frequently. So give me one more chance, Yena.”

“Aish, I’m telling you it’s not like that!”

The taste of teasing is steady.

As expected, it’s tastier when the reaction explodes like with Hyun Junho or Son Yena.

We went down to the 9th floor.

The dorm was as wide as a playground. Perhaps because it used the entire 9th floor as one, it was spacious enough to play baseball.

In the middle was a common area with a kitchen and lounge-style living room. Looking at it this way, it also resembles a high-end share house in Gangnam.

…That’s right!

How much have I raised their stock price? This much is fitting for a big corporation!

Park Mutae, who put down Son Yena’s bag, scratched his earlobe and said:

“There are high expectations for you two. The team atmosphere has been very uneasy lately.”

“Well, with 5 straight losses from the opening, you must be on pins and needles from the front office’s glares.”

“No, there’s another reason besides that.”

What?

“It’s still at the suspicion stage, but there’s a rat bastard inside leaking replays and builds.”

“Could that be the cause of the 5 straight losses?”

“Yeah. With builds constantly leaking, it feels like our arms and legs are bound.”

It feels like I’ve confirmed the dark side of the moon.

I thought the pro scene would be different, but this industry is the same too.

Park Mutae stared at me and asked:

“Han Yujin. Don’t you have any good ideas?”

“…Huh?”

Why are you asking me that?

“No… I feel like you have some clever solution hidden away. Like you’re hiding a bag of tricks.”

This is ridiculous.

From mom to soldier, and now they want me to play detective too?

I answered naively:

“I don’t have any.”

…Not yet, that is.

Park Mutae shook his head and sighed.

“These days there’s no romance in this pro scene, no romance. Back in my day…”

“Old fart.”

Brushing off my words lightly, Park Mutae gave a long speech:

“Yes. Let this old fart captain say a few words. There’s someone hiding who will stab you in the back, so don’t trust anyone right now. Of course, don’t trust me either, who’s saying these nice-sounding words.”

He covered his mouth with his hand and whispered in Son Yena’s ear:

“You heard that, right? The only person you can trust right now is me. We’re the only two unrelated to the build leaks.”

“Don’t gaslight me.”

“Tsk, you’re so cold as always.”

Park Mutae, who had been watching, said as he started walking:

“Chicks. The old fart will treat, so let’s go eat.”

I whispered in her ear again:

“See? Even if he tries to persuade you with food, you absolutely shouldn’t follow…”

“Ah, by the way, I made a reservation at an expensive sushi restaurant.”

“Yes, I’ll go right away.”

I quickly followed behind Park Mutae.

Turning back, I saw Son Yena looking at me with disdain.

Ignoring that, I gestured:

“What are you doing standing there like you’re nailed down? He said sushi, sushi!”

“…Sigh, really.”

“Come quickly.”

“Yes, yes, I’m coming.”

Son Yena staggered along, following right behind me.

By the way…

What kind of mousetrap should I set to catch the rat bastard hiding inside?

Isn’t there a good method?

I need to catch them as soon as possible…

Maybe because I’ve been thinking a lot lately, I feel like I’m about to collapse from a brain cramp.

There’s too much to worry about.

As my heart becomes complicated, I naturally think of streaming.

I should stream when I get home.

It’s been a while.

There’s a term called ‘panopticon’.

A circular prison where I can’t see the other person, but the other person can see me.

A space that creates restrictions on behavior within the asymmetry of gazes.

In short, internet broadcasting could be called the 21st century panopticon.

The fact that viewers can see me, but I can’t see the viewers.

It’s the fate of streamers to always feel a choking sensation from that gap. Of course, I was like that too.

But…

At some point, the streamer called HaYoo started to change.

The circular prison I created to feed my siblings began to feel cozier and warmer than any other space.

I became someone who couldn’t feel freedom anywhere but here.

It’s embarrassing to say with my own mouth.

It’s really shameful.

But I can’t think of any other expression.

So…

In other words, it was streaming corruption.

[ㅎr└ㅠ is here ㅎ2]

[63,425 viewers watching]

“Haha-“

How long has it been since I shouted this haha?

Is this how the barber who shouted “The king’s ears are donkey ears” felt?

It’s refreshing and invigorating.

I felt like sticky discomfort was clinging all over my body just from not streaming for a week, but now I feel refreshed as if old indigestion is about to fly away completely.

-We waited ㅜㅜㅜㅜㅜ

-haha lol

-God-level entry

-QueenGodGeneralEmperorMajestyGorgeousPreciousBeautifulHighClassEleganceLuxuryClassicGeniusWonderfulLovelyWorldTopClass Great HaYoo has entered lol

-hh

-hh

-hx2

-Sunday evening 7pm.. the best choice

‘Daddy Bird’ has donated 1,000,000 won!

-How long has it been since we’ve seen Queen Yu..

“Hehehe. Daddy Bird. I’ve grown up now so you don’t need to feed me anymore. You know I’m always grateful and love you, right?”

Maybe it’s because I confirmed that a native-like viewer who had been there since I first started streaming was still in that same place.

I felt relieved. Like a fool.

“But everyone. Today is a short stream. I’m too busy.”

I shrugged my shoulders, imitating a top star.

‘OO’ has donated 1,000 won!

-But you know this is your hometown…? Even if you become more famous, don’t forget us and don’t abandon us

“I might abandon everything else, but I won’t abandon personal streaming. I can live without games, but you viewers can’t live even a day without me, right?”

-?

-??

-?

-Um.. well lol

“Answer.”

Amidst the shower of acknowledgments, a donation rang out.

‘Nose Man’ has donated 1,000 won!

-But this bastard has been acting all high and mighty lately after hitting #1 in brand reputation rankings, if you want to beat her up give a thumbs up, I’ll go first lol

-ok

-ssok

-thumbs up lol

-oh true lol

-The rice is well cooked sssstc

-There are plenty of other good streamers these days so it’s fine lol

-The unit price has become too high now ㅠ

“Ah, get lost. If you’re jealous, cut open your stomach.”

I bit the hem of my t-shirt and showed my bare skin.

The quiet chat window flickered and shook violently.

-Oh;

-Pya this is HaYoo-jeng lol

-So holy holy

-I can see a little

-EyeeeeeEEEES!!!!!

-This is why I can’t miss her streams, it’s not the same taste if you don’t watch live

-Wow fck belly button fck did it go crazy f*ck this

-Bread button lol

-She’s suspiciously knowledgeable about sexy stuff

-Just a little more… just a bit…

-Combined gallery president of armpit gallery, foot gallery, and belly gallery

-You haven’t lost your touch Han Yujin lol

I lowered my t-shirt and asked:

“Um, is Santa-nim here? I have something to ask.”

Immediately, an old man’s voice came back.

‘Santa Claus’ has donated 1,000 won!

-yy I was watching another room why?

“…You were watching another room?”

My smiling face reading the donation cracked as if a fissure formed.

It wasn’t acting.

For a moment, the words “which bitch” almost slipped out of my mouth.

I calmly chose my words again, and tilted my head askew as I asked:

“…Another room? I wonder who?”

‘Santa Claus’ has donated 1,000 won!

-Who could it be lol why are you trying to find out

“Ah, stop bullshitting and tell me quickly.”

-?

-Why did this bastard suddenly turn P?

-???

-Don’t be serious n

-You’re the one bullshitting

-Is there a streamer who’s obsessed with viewers???

-Usually doesn’t even treat us like humans

-That expression ON

-Jamsil = Incheon?

-Obsessed Yu lol

-It’s the expression of someone who gets serious after seeing the loser they usually play with walking alone with a girl from the library club lol

‘Santa Claus’ has donated 1,000 won!

-Who cares f*ck whether I watch other (female) streamers or not

Seeing the answer, my eyeballs rolled around as if they had lost their place.

A strange emotion rose from the pit of my stomach.

What is this?

Why am I suddenly getting annoyed?

No, that’s too crude an expression.

Why do I feel like shit?

That’s too harsh an expression.

Looking through the magnifying glass of emotions, the perfect expression came to mind.

Why, why…

‘Santa Claus’ has donated 1,000 won!

-Are you perhaps jealous?

In the end, I couldn’t concentrate and ended the stream as if letting it go from my hands.

“Ah, this is really pissing me off!”

I did a blanket kick lying on the bed.

Why am I like this these days?

The waves of emotion can’t find their bearings and keep swaying here and there in disarray.

This isn’t just “Our HaYoo has changed”!

Even I can’t understand it.

I thought I could clearly distinguish between Han Yujin and HaYoo.

I thought the wall-like boundary wouldn’t crumble.

Once it started to go off track, it collapsed like a sand castle. Crash.

Just then,

My warm phone vibrated.

It was someone I never expected.

Seeing the name on the screen, I debated whether to answer or not. Because I felt a sense of discomfort that my life would change completely from now on if I answered.

So I covered the phone on the floor, then flipped it over again, repeating this several times.

Should I answer, or not?

Should I face it, or run away?

In that precarious tightrope walk,

I finally picked up the phone.