Chapter 86: Purple Color (1)

When I saw Namgung Bi-ah lying on the ground.

I recalled the Sword Demon Queen of the past.

Her, who had quietly breathed her last while held in someone’s arms amidst the drizzling rain.

‘I was complacent.’

Only then did I blame my own complacency.

Watching the world change with just a small flap of wings.

It was the sin of only watching from afar, unwilling to dip my feet into the flow.

If I had just stood still, none of this would have happened.

It was the result of acting paradoxically, knowing I had to do something even though I didn’t want to do anything.

I am scared and weary.

Even after experiencing death, nothing about me has changed.

‘…What exactly am I doing.’

After experiencing regression, what have I been walking towards all this time?

Did I, want to kill the Heavenly Demon?

If so, I should have given Wi Seol-ah a sword, not servant’s attire.

Because I know that’s the fastest and easiest way.

Knowing that, what did I do?

I watched Wi Seol-ah, smiling and happy, thinking the Sword Saint had intentions.

In reality, I just didn’t want Wi Seol-ah to wield a sword.

What did I gain through disgusting excuses?

I could see Wi Seol-ah’s smile, which I hadn’t seen in my past life.

The hand I couldn’t grasp was beside me, offering warmth as if inviting me to take it anytime.

The hand I eventually had to let go of was now beside me.

Spreading its hand in front of me, as if ready to embrace me right now.

Then, do I have the right to be embraced in that warmth?

That beautiful smile, too, will eventually be lost when the Heavenly Demon appears.

Knowing that, do I truly have the right, having fled?

I ask myself again.

Asking again while knowing the answer meant I was still afraid.

‘I cannot fight the Heavenly Demon.’

It’s because I’m afraid and don’t want to fight.

‘It’s okay if it’s not me, right?’

It was just an excuse I thought of now because I wanted to rest.

Even though I committed so much killing and sins in my past life, I’m clinging to this current life with just one excuse: that there was a reason.

I try to console myself, thinking I can be happy with this chance gained through death, but…

Conversely, I already know the answer, so I just suffer.

That’s why I kept running away.

I trained, cutting down on sleep, but there was no purpose within it.

When it was time to twist the flow or be swept away by it, I thought of ways to escape.

I try hard to divert my thoughts.

‘Isn’t this enough? Is there a need to do more?’

[So, are you satisfied?]

[By doing so, are you satisfied now?]

‘No.’

Nothing.

I had nothing contained within me.

This place was still like a dream to me, half like it was the first day.

A hazy yet vivid dream, as if I hadn’t woken up yet.

I think that way, but ultimately, actions bring consequences.

For my current escape, I had to turn away from hundreds of things.

I clearly had to take responsibility for what would happen later.

If I didn’t want to give Wi Seol-ah a sword.

Someone had to wield the sword.

Also, if I intended to ignore the feelings Namgung Bi-ah harbored for me.

I should have let her go.

In reality, there were countless pretexts to break things off, like being engaged or whatnot.

Despite that, I couldn’t let go.

It was because of the ugly selfishness in a corner of my heart, wanting her not to leave.

The burdens piled up around me are all responsibilities I must bear alone.

It wasn’t possible to keep running and hiding forever.

Therefore, if I can neither let go of anything nor lose anything.

I had to wake up from the dream now.

“…Ah.”

It was an unfamiliar ceiling.

******************

A ceiling, familiar yet seemingly seen for the first time, entered my vision.

“…I’ve opened my eyes.”

An old man with white hair filling my vision.

It was the Divine Doctor.

To see the Divine Doctor’s face the moment I opened my eyes…

Startled, I tried to sit up, but…

“…Kkeu-eu-euk!”

A scream burst out involuntarily from the intense pain felt throughout my body.

It was to the extent that tears welled up slightly.

“Hey, what happened? Have you no caution?”

“What… what happened…”

It was an unimaginable pain, as if every joint had been gnawed at by someone.

As I groaned in pain, I belatedly recalled what had happened before I lost consciousness.

“It seems it was resolved well, so don’t worry.”

As if reading something from my expression, the Divine Doctor provided an answer.

How did I lose consciousness? The Bloodfang Fiend?

…And Namgung Bi-ah?

“…Was she perhaps nearby.”

“The woman who was with you is much better off than you, so don’t worry and just lie back down.”

“Yes… Thank you.”

Fortunately, it seemed Namgung Bi-ah was unharmed.

However, I still hadn’t asked about the Bloodfang Fiend.

As I tried to ask something more, the Divine Doctor spoke first.

“It seems there are no major issues with your body; once the pain subsides, you’ll be able to get up soon.”

“Thank you…”

“I told you that your energy was condensed and could kill you if used carelessly, yet you really pulled it all out.”

“Ah.”

“Honestly, kids these days act like their bodies are made of ten-thousand-year-old iron… They’re all the same ones who die when stabbed, so why do they act so recklessly?”

I wore an embarrassed expression at the Divine Doctor’s words.

It was because, as he said, I had lost my mind and used it too excessively.

‘…I wasn’t sane.’

I think I just used it without thinking about the consequences.

There must have been other ways, but for some reason, I couldn’t calm down then.

Even considering that Namgung Bi-ah had collapsed.

‘Why did I lose consciousness?’

I still had my internal energy left, and I wasn’t significantly exhausted physically.

Of course, towards the end, perhaps because I used more than necessary, I felt intense pain in my body.

Unlike before, I could move properly.

And.

‘At the end… I think I heard a voice.’

It’s blurry.

I’m sure I heard something.

I can’t remember well.

Instead, trying to remember caused a throbbing pain in my head.

Tak.

Along with the sound of a bowl being placed beside me, a bitter aroma wafted.

Is it herbal medicine?

Then, something approached my mouth.

Seeing it, Je gal-hyeok was trying to feed me something with a spoon.

Hesitating about what to do, I took a bite.

The bitter taste was so strong that I was slightly surprised.

“It’s just medicine to reduce the pain a bit, so drink it all; only then will you feel somewhat better.”

At the Divine Doctor’s words, I endured it and drank it down.

Thinking that Je gal-hyeok was the one giving it felt somewhat strange.

“If you wait, someone will come. Everyone was waiting for you to wake up.”

“How long was I unconscious?”

“Two days have passed, and after tonight, it will be the third day.”

“…T-two days?”

I was unconscious for two whole days?

I remembered Wi Seol-ah, who had just told me to have a good trip.

She was probably worried.

“Now that you’ve woken up, those children can finally breathe a sigh of relief.”

Following the Divine Doctor’s words, I turned my aching head.

“…Ah.”

At the edge of the room, leaning against the wall, I saw people sleeping.

It was Wi Seol-ah and Namgung Bi-ah.

“They waited without sleeping properly, and then, just as you were about to wake up, they fell asleep instead.”

“…”

Watching them made my chest feel ticklish.

As I stared blankly, the Divine Doctor spoke to me.

“There’s one thing I want to ask you.”

“Please tell me.”

“Do you remember when I called you a living corpse before?”

“I remember.”

Because of that, I had intended to search for the magic stones, so I couldn’t possibly forget.

The Divine Doctor looked at me with a strange expression, as if there was some other issue.

“I am someone who takes pride in being an outstanding physician.”

While it might seem arrogant at first glance, since the one speaking was none other than the Divine Doctor (神醫), I thought it was understandable.

The Divine Doctor continued speaking to me.

“I’ve lived my whole life as a physician with that mindset, yet this is the first time I’ve encountered such a case.”

“…Has something gone wrong with my body again?”

Again?

Is my body some kind of battlefield? Why do accidents keep happening?

‘Is it because I keep causing trouble.’

I felt slightly dizzy from the sudden self-objectification.

In response to my question, the Divine Doctor answered with a very thoughtful expression.

“…Your energy has become calm.”

“Huh?”

“The energies that were fighting each other as if they couldn’t stand each other have become quiet as a mouse.”

The energy calmed down?

It feels like it hasn’t even been ten days since they said it might explode at any moment.

Surprised by the Divine Doctor’s words, I tried to circulate energy through my body, but perhaps due to exhaustion, my dantian only trembled, and circulating my internal energy wasn’t easy.

Instead, a different energy swept through my body.

With a chilling sensation, I immediately stopped circulating my internal energy.

‘Demonic energy…?’

Demonic energy was lingering within my body.

Turbid and unstable.

Just like the demonic energy the Bloodfang Fiend possessed.

******************

“Young Master is an idiot.”

“I know…”

“An idiot, du-dumb idiot!”

“Mm…”

By morning, I was being pestered by the awakened Wi Seol-ah.

The moment she opened her eyes, she started crying uncontrollably upon seeing me, so I quickly tried to soothe her.

Perhaps unable to fully console her, her eyes were still moist.

“Why… why do you always get hurt when I’m not around?”

I had nothing to say to Wi Seol-ah’s question.

It did seem that way…

‘I did try not to bring her into situations where she might get hurt.’

That was a major reason, but…

Anyway, that was the situation.

Wi Seol-ah wiped her teary eyes with the back of her hand.

I wondered if I should pat her head, but my body hadn’t recovered yet, making movement a bit difficult.

“You really… are an idiot.”

“Shh…!”

Finally, Wi Seol-ah burst into tears, sobbing.

As she cried sadly, Namgung Bi-ah, who had been sitting quietly beside me, offered a handkerchief.

Namgung Bi-ah also had her arm bandaged.

According to the Divine Doctor, she was otherwise fine, and her arm would heal quickly within a few days since she was a martial artist.

Wi Seol-ah wiped her eyes with the handkerchief and called out to Namgung Bi-ah in a nasal voice.

“…Unni.”

“Hm?”

“Can I blow my nose…”

She’s asking so cautiously.

Perhaps surprised by the question, Namgung Bi-ah was momentarily flustered but nodded, saying it was okay.

Then, a short ‘Peng!’ sound was heard.

Feeling like I shouldn’t watch, I turned my head away.

“Thank you…”

When Wi Seol-ah returned the handkerchief, Namgung Bi-ah looked at it, wondering what to do with it.

I should pay for that handkerchief later…

After a while, the Divine Doctor entered, frowning.

“I need to examine you now, so everyone please leave.”

“Can’t… can’t you let us stay a little longer?”

“If you stay nearby, I’ll be distracted and won’t be able to do it properly. Everyone out!”

Usually, because of her looks, even Wi Seol-ah, who is often favored, was yelled at by the Divine Doctor as if he didn’t care.

Finally, Namgung Bi-ah left with a dejected Wi Seol-ah.

Their lingering gazes towards me, seeming reluctant to leave, made me uneasy.

After the two left, the Divine Doctor naturally took my arm.

“How is your body?”

“Much better than yesterday.”

“Still, I can’t let you go yet, so stay lying down.”

“…Yes.”

He must have noticed I wanted to get up.

This didn’t seem like the cabin I saw last time. Was it inside the Mount Hua Sect?

As I passively let my body rest, the Divine Doctor suddenly spoke to me.

“I haven’t properly thanked you yet.”

It was a sudden remark from the Divine Doctor while I was lying still.

I replied, flustered.

“What do you mean…?”

“Didn’t you end up like this fighting the guy who was targeting the cabin?”

The guy targeting the cabin?

Was the Bloodfang Fiend’s objective the cabin?

Honestly, I just got angry and fought him; it wasn’t for a grand reason like the Divine Doctor suggested.

“For the details, we’ll have to wait for Dohwa, but… given the current situation, it might take a while.”

“If it’s the situation, has something happened?”

“I don’t think it’s my place to say. Dohwa will tell you later.”

The Divine Doctor’s expression was particularly grim as he spoke.

It seemed like something bad had happened, but not knowing made me feel a bit frustrated.

After massaging my arm for a while, the Divine Doctor seemed to have finished his examination and straightened up.

“You seem much better, so you should be able to get up soon. Just in case, don’t move until the end of today.”

“Understood. Thank you.”

The Divine Doctor left, and I calmly considered the situation.

It was about my body.

‘The Divine Doctor didn’t sense the demonic energy.’

He seemed to have just checked my meridians, yet he didn’t mention the demonic energy.

Of course, it’s possible the Divine Doctor is intentionally not mentioning it, but…

I thought that possibility was slim.

I don’t know how the demonic energy started circulating in my body, but fortunately, it seems to be gradually purifying.

It was exactly like before, when I absorbed the energy of the magic stone with the Demonic Absorption technique and the Nine Flame Wheel technique consumed and purified the demonic energy.

The current demonic energy isn’t pure like the demonic energy given by the magic stone or the Heavenly Demon.

It was similar to the turbid energy possessed by the Black Night Palace. Especially the Bloodfang Fiend.

It was as if I had stolen his energy.

Could it be that I stole the Bloodfang Fiend’s energy?

‘Not a magic stone, but someone else’s energy?’

I had never heard of such an ability.

Though I couldn’t really say that, considering I used to extract and use the demonic energy from magic stones.

Also, I thought the calming of the energy the Divine Doctor mentioned must be related to this.

‘…In any case, this is also demonic energy, so perhaps the demonic cultivation technique is calming it.’

If this is the case, I’ll eventually need to find magic stones and consume them continuously.

It felt bitter that I seemed bound by the Heavenly Demon’s demonic cultivation technique even in this life, but…

Now was the time to properly make up my mind.

‘Speaking of which.’

There was one thing bothering me.

Ever since I woke up.

‘Noya.’

I called out to Shin Noya in my mind, but there was no answer.

‘Noya….’

I called out again.

As expected, no answer came back.

I had been calling out to Shin Noya ever since shortly after waking up last night, but Noya’s voice never returned.

I tried calling him out loud and kept calling him in my mind, but…

No answer was heard.

“…Where did this old man go.”

Shin Noya had disappeared.