Chapter 86 – Festival (1)

The noise from outside jolted me awake.

I didn’t question my situation.

Following pure instinct, I rose from my seat like water flowing downstream and crawled toward the greatsword propped against the sofa. My hand closed around its grip.

The usual pain that accompanied my sense activation didn’t come. No special sensations emerged. No feeling of welcome either.

Only lingering emotions clung to my insides.

Foreign emotions. No—not exactly foreign. More like they’d been mine all along.

Sadness. Anger. Anxiety. Malice. Disgust. Petulance. Incompetence. Depression. Misery. Doubt. Confusion. Restlessness. Worry. Pathetic. Greed. Frustration. Grief. Fear. Misfortune. Longing. Weakness. Betrayal. Loneliness. Resentment. Torment. Guilt. Desperation.

All these emotions directed at myself.

Endless dark, murky feelings began to envelop me. I want to gouge out my eyes. Tear off my skin. Crush my organs. Strangle myself until my neck snaps—these urges filled my mind.

At that moment—

The door creaked open, and the person I most wanted to see appeared.

Happiness.

“Noah.”

And then—

“…Ru-bia.”

An indescribable feeling. A stifling… pink sensation.

The countless emotions dragging me into the abyss— Vanished before just two feelings. Overwritten, fading away.

“Good morning, Noah.”

A happy smile spread across Rubia’s face. I’m happy too. I want to smile like that too.

But for some reason— Tears kept threatening to spill.

“Ru-Rubia… hic… W-why am I… like this? hic– sob… Ughh… I keep… sniff… crying…”

“Come here.”

Rubia approached slowly and wrapped her arms around me. But this embrace felt different from before. The gentleness, softness, and warmth remained, but— The way she used to hold me like a doll was gone.

Instead, she touched me like fragile glasswork that might shatter at the slightest mistake.

“Did you sleep well?”

Nod.

“…Did you have good dreams?”

Nod…

“I’m glad.”

After she stroked my head for a while, I started to calm down. But once I did…

Something felt wrong. Though I was in her arms as usual, it felt empty. Not fulfilling or suffocating like before.

And. Strange feelings squirmed inside… making me uneasy.

“Rubia…”

“Yes?”

It’s embarrassing to say, but… I did beat Kalt, and protect everyone… I accomplished a lot, right?

So… maybe I can ask for this much.

I turned my face from the side and buried it completely in Rubia’s embrace.

Then, tightening my arms around her waist… I mumbled:

“…Hold me… tighter.”

Did she hear me? Could she hear it? Would she understand such quiet mumbling…?

I started to lift my head to repeat myself—

“Hnng…”

Pain squeezed my body like it might burst.

My heels lifted uncomfortably off the ground, my chest tightened, breathing became difficult, my joints ached, but—

This strength. This grip that conveyed she wouldn’t let me go.

Not from anyone else— These burning emotions directed solely at me pierced my heart.

So I stayed still. Buried my face deeper in response.

The tears that had just subsided burst forth again.

***

“Aren’t you hungry?”

“No…”

“You say you’re not hungry, but look how many jellies you’re eating.”

“Jelly… and real food are different…”

“Pfft… If you say so.”

Sitting slightly apart from Rubia, I listened to everything that had happened.

She told me about defeating Kalt, Yuria’s elixir, the sudden snowstorm, the avalanche filled with dark magic, and Tylant with all his seals removed.

And how that same Tylant was defeated single-handedly.

By super-strong Noah.

When I asked about this super-strong Noah…

After dodging my questions again and again, Rubia finally gave in to my persistence and answered:

She was similar to me in most ways, but— She could see, and speak properly.

She was completely different from me… We had nothing in common at all…

Anyway… after hearing such shocking news, my energy crashed. That’s why… I’m stuffing myself with jellies now.

“So… is there… really a festival happening?”

“Yes. Can’t you hear how lively it is?”

“Mm… yeah…”

“They say Ursphere will hold this festival every year on the same day from now on.”

Rubia’s gaze drifted to the window.

“Then… they’ll sell lots of tasty food too, right?”

After all, Ursphere is known for wild strawberries. They must be selling strawberry juice, jellies, candies…

But those are all desserts—what main dishes are famous here?

“Huh?”

Rubia’s face slowly turned back to me from the window.

“Umm… They’ll sell lots of accessories, and… clothes too…”

We made good money from catching Carpeng… Maybe I could get matching accessories or clothes with Rubia…

“But still… the highlight of any festival has to be… fireworks!”

Even if I can’t see them… just hearing them explode will be wonderful.

Hearing everyone’s excited voices under the firework-lit sky will be nice too.

But most of all. Just being there with Rubia will be the best part…

Though… with so many people it might be hard to breathe… Maybe we could watch from a rooftop?

Or maybe Charlotte or Rebuge could help us get a good spot… Hehe…

“They’ll be really pretty, right? Of course… um… I won’t be able to see them, but… at least you can see them, Rubia.”

“Noah… You are Noah, aren’t you?”

Rubia’s expression twisted as she approached me.

“Huh…? Of course I’m me…?”

“Right?”

After staring at me for a long moment, Rubia suddenly pulled me into a tight embrace.

“Oof…”

“Just… stay like this for a moment.”

“Al…right…”

I raised my hand and patted her back gently.

After nearly a hundred pats, her breathing finally steadied.

“Sigh… They say you’re the hero of this festival, Noah.”

“But that’s… not me, right?”

Her steady breathing faltered slightly. I hate that.

“No, Noah… You are Noah.”

I pinched her thigh hard.

“Stop it…”

My thoughts were a mess.

Every time I looked at Rubia, heard her voice, smelled her scent, felt her skin…

Especially like now, when our whole bodies touched—

My heart pounded wildly. My hands trembled. My breathing quickened.

Strange, sharp sensations spread through my body. A familiar warmth curled up in one corner kept bothering me too.

I felt embarrassed. Tingly and prickly. While feeling ticklish too. It hurt, stung, felt like being torn apart.

Yet all these sensations blended together, making my body burn hot.

So. I couldn’t stay close to Rubia.

It was hard to get near her.

See? Just hearing her breathe beside me makes my body act strange.

It’s so frustrating… I can’t tell anyone about this. But if I cling to Rubia…

It’s too much for me. My body feels weird…

With a sigh, I gently pushed Rubia away.

Then I pulled down my skirt hem that had risen up. But.

Huh?

Something felt unfamiliar, so I slipped my hand under my skirt to check.

The underwear… was different.

I don’t own panties like these… Whose panties are these?

“Rubia…”

“Yes?”

“Um… these underwear…”

They fit perfectly, so they must be mine…

But I’ve never had anything this soft and silky and…

Aah! I’ve never bought such… such lewd underwear!!

Once I noticed it, I couldn’t ignore the strange sensation—shivers ran down my spine.

“Ugh… This feels weird… Can I… take these off and wear something else…?”

“…What?”

“No! This is just… Ugh… I can’t stand it!”

Finally… I couldn’t take it anymore and jumped up.

I ran to a corner where Rubia couldn’t see and stripped them off.

Even taking them off felt… unnaturally smooth.

“Ugh… Ughh!”

I crumpled them up and stuffed them in my inner pocket.

I don’t want Rubia to see…

If she saw such perverted underwear… she’d think I was strange.

“No-Noah?”

“Ungh… Yes…?”

“Why did you… suddenly take off your underwear?”

Rubia stared at me, muttering, “Should I take mine off too?”

“The feeling was… strange. I don’t think these are my underwear…”

Without taking them out, I rubbed my pocket as I walked back to Rubia.

She tilted her head slightly…

“Oh… Noah. Um… How should I explain this…”

She seemed to remember something, touching her lips as she chose her words carefully.

She kept glancing at me nervously.

Did I… do something wrong?

Oh.

Did she sneak these on me while I was sleeping…?

So they really weren’t mine. Right. Of course not. There’s no way I’d buy such… such indecent underwear.

Rubia must have bought them. Well… she did take care of me, so I guess I can let it slide…

But… doing that while I was asleep is too perverted, Rubia.

You’re so naughty!

“Hehe… heh…”

For some reason, I couldn’t stop my lips from curling up. Fighting my rising smile, I approached Rubia slowly.

How should I accept her apology? Just words feel a bit weak…

We still have plenty of jelly… hmm… Maybe I’ll ask for lots of candied fruit.

“So… when did you buy them? These strange underwear—”

“Two days ago… when we went shopping together.”

My feet stopped.

“…What?”

My mind went blank.