Chapter 85 – I Love You

In the end, we couldn’t finish the desserts.

Rubia had stopped eating halfway through, so I had no choice.

I tried to force everything down, but it was impossible.

At least we talked plenty. Though I knew she wouldn’t hear the important things anyway.

So… I just shared trivial stories. But it was fun.

“Ugh… it’s such a waste to leave all this…”

“We can get it packed up.”

“But eating it here is different from eating it later, you know?”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

Rubia chuckled as she stood up with the dessert tray.

“Let me carry one.”

“You want to?”

This time, she didn’t hesitate to hand me a tray.

I nodded cheerfully as I took it.

“Where to next?”

“The park. Let’s chat there for a while.”

“Chat? But we just spent all that time—”

“That was just you talking, Noah.”

“Ah… right.”

As Rubia pointed out, I’d done all the talking earlier.

Probably because I brought up such heavy topics… but they needed to be said.

I didn’t want to bring them up right before leaving.

“I have lots to say too, so look forward to it.”

“Oh… okay.”

Rubia flashed a smile as she set her tray on the counter.

I awkwardly placed mine beside hers.

“Let’s go.”

Rubia turned immediately toward the door.

I checked the clock hanging behind the counter before following her.

It’s almost 10 already.

Time flew by so fast.

“Rubia, is the park far?”

“Hmm… it’s a bit of a walk, but not too far. About 15 minutes?”

“I see.”

Jingle.

When the door opened, we faced a different scene from before.

The city lights blazed bright, and the streets were empty of the repair crews from earlier.

“It’s so quiet. Everyone must be exhausted.”

“Yes. After everything that happened today…”

“Everything… right. It must have been hard for everyone.”

But still. After surviving something like that…

Shouldn’t they be celebrating? Drinking and running around?

It’s too… too quiet. I don’t like it.

“Isn’t the quiet nice, though?”

I don’t like you either, Rubia.

“It feels like we’re the only two people in the world.”

Rubia turned back to me with a gentle smile.

“…You think so?”

Her voice overlapped with the ‘Rubia’ I knew. That face. That moment superimposed itself over this one.

At the end of an ash-gray world.

The words were identical to what she’d said in my arms then. The expression was the same. The knowledge that we’d soon part was the same.

I felt angry at Rubia.

So I gathered some snow from the ground—

“Take this!”

—and threw it at her. No rocks included.

“…Oh my?”

Rubia turned her back. A snowflake, whiter than her hair, slid gently down.

Her expression…

“Um, Rubia… we’re not supposed to put rocks in snowballs…?”

She looked ready to bash my head in with a stone.

“Back in my day, I was quite good at snowball fights.”

“J-just don’t use divine power!”

“My little brother once cried for two whole days after our snowball fight.”

“Come on… you can use rocks instead! Using divine power in a snowball fight is just…”

I crouched down and packed snow tightly, adding a touch of mana.

But she’s using divine power to freeze the snow solid like ice. If she cracks my skull, she’ll heal it… right?

Damn. Should’ve brought my greatsword.

With proper sense control, I could dodge everything.

But… but today, just for today… I wanted to be normal. To play like anyone else in this peaceful world.

“Noah, don’t worry. I’ll heal any injuries.”

“You don’t know this, but I beat Tylant in a snowball fight.”

“Really? Let’s test that.”

Rubia stood up with a bright smile, and eighteen snowballs flew at me simultaneously.

Ah, eighteen.

***

“Ow… it still hurts…”

“How was I? Pretty good, right?”

“I hate admitting it, but… you were actually tougher than Tylant.”

“Hehe, you weren’t bad yourself, Noah.”

Sitting on the bench, I sipped the warm coffee Rubia bought me while gazing at the sky.

The city lights were too bright to see clearly, but I could make out a few stars.

“It’s peaceful, isn’t it?”

“Yeah. Very.”

“You worked hard today.”

“You too, Rubia.”

About thirty minutes left, probably.

“I have so many questions I want to ask.”

“I’m sure you do.”

“Really, so many… but you won’t answer most of them, will you?”

“Probably not.”

A soft sigh escaped her.

“Then… I’ll only ask what you can answer.”

She swallowed back her sigh and turned to face me.

I met her gaze. I didn’t want to avoid it anymore.

“Noah.”

I nodded, taking a sip of coffee.

“Am I pretty?”

Pfft!

I nearly spat out my drink.

Thankfully, Rubia’s divine power prevented any spills.

What kind of question is that?!

“W-what?”

“You can see now, right?”

“Y-yeah…?”

“So I want to know what you think of me.”

“Y-you’re pretty.”

I lowered my gaze as Rubia’s lips curved into a smile.

“Where exactly?”

“Oh no…”

I knew this was coming. The Rubia I knew asked the same thing.

What did I say back then?

“Your eyes—they’re sharp, but they soften when you look at me.”

“…What?”

“Your nose is cute when it twitches as you smell me.”

“Uh…”

“Your lips are beautiful when they curve into that slight smile while saying my name.”

Rubia turned away.

“And… I love everything that’s different from me. Your white hair, your blue eyes, your confident personality—I love it all.”

Rubia’s breath trembled. Mine did too.

Suppressed emotions overflowed. The carefully constructed mask began to crack.

She’s not really looking at me. And I’m not really looking at her.

“You really are Noah.”

“Huh?”

“You said those exact things before. When you couldn’t see, you traced my face with your fingers and said all that.”

“…Really? Something that cheesy?”

“So you knew it was cheesy?”

“Of course…”

But even if it’s cheesy, if you don’t say it now, you’ll regret it later. So you just say it anyway.

“So you think I’m beautiful?”

“Y-yeah.”

Rubia laughed softly as she removed her hood and let her hair fall loose.

Then, unexpectedly, she said:

“They say all streams eventually lead to the same place.”

“Because everything flows from the ocean?”

“Yes. Everything starts from one place and returns there.”

“I see.”

“So even if we part… we’ll meet again someday.”

Rubia stood and stretched.

“Noah.”

“Yeah?”

“You said you like to celebrate with fireworks, right?”

“Yeah, what about it?”

“Do you still feel that way?”

“Why are you suddenly—”

The city lights went dark.

“Huh?”

All sound vanished.

Then—

Brilliant divine power erupted from Rubia’s body, shooting skyward.

Following its path—

BOOM!

Countless fireworks painted the sky.

The night blazed with vibrant, beautiful colors.

“Rubia…?”

“You have no idea how much running around I did to set this up.”

Through the continuous explosions, I could see her face.

She was smiling.

Brighter than the fireworks. Brighter than divine power itself.

“What… what is all this?”

“A gift. For the hero who saved us.”

Hero.

Again with ‘hero.’

I’m not a hero. I shouldn’t be called that. I don’t want to be called that.

I’m a sinner.

I killed people. Took their souls to kill more people. Convinced myself it was the only way to save everyone. Lied to myself and the world as I moved forward.

A hypocrite.

“I don’t know what kind of life you’ve lived, Noah.”

Behind the fireworks, a sun-like burst illuminated the sky.

“I don’t know what you’ve been through.”

Flower petals, out of season, began dancing through the air.

“But you’re here now.”

Rubia’s hand reached for my head.

“You stood here and saved this city.”

She pushed back my hat.

“No matter what anyone else says.”

My black hair— The hair that marked me as a demon— My red eyes—

All exposed to the world.

“You are our hero.”

The fireworks illuminated the sinner below.

“Both of you are my heroes.”

The light was blindingly beautiful as it poured down on me.

Too bright to look at. Too bright for someone like me to see.

I closed my eyes.

“I…”

The divine power within me was almost gone.

My consciousness flickered.

There’s so much I want to say. So much I need to say.

“…Rubia.”

But…

But forget all that.

The one thing I needed to say. Even if this wasn’t my Rubia. The words I should have said. The words I never got to say.

“I’m sorry.”

Sorry for asking you to hate me. Sorry for telling you to forget everything. Sorry for making you regret.

“And…”

The nights we spent holding each other. The whispered dreams of tomorrow. The days we spent laughing together.

“I love you.”

It was happiness. It was precious. It was love.

“…Yes.”

Warm arms enveloped me. A familiar scent. A beloved touch.

Embracing all that I am.

I opened my eyes to meet her blue gaze.

Within them—

“I’m going now.”

I saw myself, smiling happily.

“Come back safe.”

And I saw her, smiling happily too.

***

Someday, far in the future—

When we meet again—

May it be—

In a peaceful world.

Among many others.

Living ordinary lives.

Dreaming of tomorrow.

Please.

May we find happiness.