Chapter 84 : Study

Controlling desire is never an easy task. Even I have urges like hunger or lust.

And yet, when I have to control it, a clear separation from those around me is necessary. So that I can truly feel that I am alone. If I were to

meet them again without any results, I feel like my resolve would completely crumble.

“Let’s stay apart for a while.”

It sounds like something a couple in a rut might say after a big fight, but those words came from my mouth. Before re-entering the academy, I

needed to put my relationships on pause.

It wasn’t something I should say to her, especially when she was practically carrying me, my body drained of all strength.

“Stay apart? From me?”

“…Just until the finals are over.”

A month isn’t exactly a long time, but it’s not a short one either. Even though she would probably be alone again without me, she nodded in

agreement.

“Thanks.”

When I returned to the academy, all the flowers had already withered. The deeper I went inside, the more the gray bricks greeted us. As we

walked in silence and neared our destination, Amither, who had been walking quietly, finally asked the question she’d been holding in.

“So, who is she?”

“…Who?”

“That b*tch inside you.”

Sigh. If I thought I could just gloss over it, then I must’ve been treating her like a fool. Then again, anyone who could just nod and accept this

kind of thing probably wouldn’t be normal.

Before speaking, I hesitated and looked at her face.

Should I really tell her? That I’ve taken over someone else’s body, and that the original owner is locked away?

Even if she understood, she’d still have a lingering discomfort in her heart. That’s inevitable.

I don’t want to be hated.

“She’s… like a parasitic split personality. You don’t have to worry about the details. I’ll make sure she’s gone for good. So, there’s no reason

you’ll ever meet her.”

“…Really?”

“Yeah. Everything she says is nonsense anyway, so just ignore her.”

She seemed to ponder for a moment after hearing the words “split personality.” If she thought hard enough, she might spot the holes in my

story, but I pushed on with confidence.

“What matters is ‘me,’ right? Hm?”

Before we realized, we had stopped walking. The sun was setting. A gentle breeze blew, as if to remind us summer had come.

She slowly nodded, having reached her decision.

“Yeah, what matters is you.”

Even if I’m a disgusting liar, I want her to be on my side.

I know it’s a selfish wish, but don’t we all need at least one person who supports us completely?

Her single sentence would become the driving force for the next month. I firmly believed that.

As I smiled and started walking again, something suddenly occurred to me.

“Hey, by the way, how did I come back?”

“Huh, what?”

“I mean, it’s not like I just switched back through some normal method…”

Don’t tell me she did something she couldn’t admit? She looked a little flustered for the first time.

Her suspicious behavior made me press further, and she finally confessed after hesitating.

“Since you were unconscious… I thought maybe if I knocked you out, you’d come back.”

“…So you knocked me out?”

“It’s a little different… but not entirely wrong.”

Why are you nodding like that’s something to be proud of? You knocked someone out!

Ha, she probably either beat my already weak body to a pulp or smacked the back of my neck. No wonder my neck and waist hurt earlier.

…What other methods are there for knocking someone out, anyway?

After parting ways with her, I’ve lost count of how many days I’ve been holed up in the library.

The last time I studied this hard was probably in the first or second year after I was possessed. Not even for the college entrance exams did I

go this far. My body got so wrecked I nearly died before I realized I needed rest.

And now, I was ignoring that very lesson and pushing my body and mind to the limit.

Well, calling it harsh after just two weeks of this might be overdramatic. I guess I’ve gotten soft.

“Ah…”

More than anything, the constant nosebleeds from my worn-out stamina were annoying.

I didn’t even feel particularly tired. Isn’t two hours of sleep a day more than enough? Damn you, Trea, for giving me this useless body.

I wish she would just vanish entirely, but I can still feel her lingering inside me. She’s probably still waiting for a chance to steal my body

again.

I stuffed tissue in my bleeding nose and went back to studying. Aside from academics, there were things like Ascension and Blue Window

that I also needed to research. I had no time to waste.

“Alright, 25th magic formula experiment. On the minimum coefficient affecting margin of error due to rune distortion. Execute.”

Voooom, as the magic activated, the dark library lit up.

Just hearing it gave me a headache. This was a practice experiment in preparation for the upcoming magic theory exam. Even if the practical

was later, magic wasn’t something one could fully understand just by reading about it. If someone could, we’d call them a genius. And now, I

had to beat that genius.

I recited the incantation and activated the spell, but the result was a cold, hard failure.

Still, it was a decently safe failure. At least nothing exploded this time. No scorched paper, no mishaps. This time, anyway. I was about to

swear.

“Shit, what now?”

I’m no genius. I’m just a dullard who dumped in time and money to get barely competent. If my family weren’t dukes but ordinary nobles,

we’d be bankrupt by now because of me.

I picked up the parchment fluttering away and reviewed the spell again.

I was used to failure. If I had succeeded on the first try, I might have foamed at the mouth. Like a programmer seeing their buggy code run

perfectly the first time.

The library was deathly silent. Normally libraries should be quiet, but this one was usually noisy since it was in the academy.

Despite less than three weeks left until finals, it was empty because it was a weekday morning. Classes? I’d decided to ignore those ‘minor’

issues. Some subjects were excused thanks to the trip to Elven lands.

If Arwen saw me not sleeping in the dorm and camping out here, she’d definitely kick me out, so I was semi-forced to be homeless here.

Since then, I’d avoided everyone on purpose, as promised to Amither. Honestly, I barely even washed. Looking them in the eye and talking

wasted time, and seeing my lazy reflection disgusted me. I didn’t know I had hyperventilation until that day.

“Damn it, again…”

Even though I plugged my nose, blood was dripping again. There were countless times I wanted to give up, wondering what pride was even

worth.

Do you think I want to be like this?

‘That damned b*tch.’

She was once a friend, but since that day, I referred to Teferi as that damned b*tch, that f*cking b*tch, and worse.

My goal this exam is full marks in every subject. I wonder if Teferi has the same goal? Judging by the last exam, it was like she had

memorized every answer. She wasn’t the top student in the original, yet she took first place.

A normal person might say that’s impossible, but we’re not normal people. Damn returners.

The problem is, this upcoming test is expected to be insanely hard. The midterms were easy due to the demon invasion, aside from a few

tough questions.

Thanks to that, the professors looked like they were out for blood. To avoid missing even a single question, the only way was to keep grinding

like this.

Stealing the test or cheating would only prove I’m weak. If I resorted to that, I’d be ashamed of myself.

“I can do this.”

My whisper filled the quiet library. Yeah, I can do this. They say effort beats genius.

Haven’t I been working harder than anyone?

I will not lose.

“I can do this.”

Honestly, I’m starving, sleep is crashing over me like a wave, and my crotch itches a little.

But what can I do? The finals questions weren’t even in the original. I’m studying now to beat someone who’s already memorized the

answers.

I just hope all this effort isn’t in vain. With that thought, I went back to revising the spell.

And finally, the morning of the finals arrived.