Identity (4)

When I opened my eyes, I was on a makeshift bed in the break room.

My body was still trembling with a hazy mind.

When I pressed my handcuffed hands on the bed, I felt a soft sensation.

[Are you awake?]

“Ha. You’re really thorough.”

A syringe, huh.

When I touched my neck, it felt strange.

[It’s natural since they don’t know what you might do.]

“Are you treating me like that too?”

[It’s not just me, is it? That girl -]

I roughly ignored the following words and pushed Bloody into subspace.

As I lay face down on the bed, lost in thought, I heard someone approaching.

I buried my head in the pillow since there was one.

The sound of the door opening with a click, followed by footsteps, came next.

And then the bed shook as if something had climbed onto it. My body shook with it.

For a moment, I heard the sound of a sharp intake of breath, then silence fell, and my body was lifted.

I closed my eyes.

Soon after, from my upper body, I was pulled into something with a hard texture, as if being embraced.

I didn’t particularly feel any warmth.

Someone’s hand was placed on my hair.

So I opened my mouth.

“I’m not a baby.”

“You, you’re awake?”

“……”

“Was that sleep talking…?”

“Yeah.”

“……”

My body was gently pushed away.

When I opened my eyes, I saw reddened cheeks.

“Was it better to pretend to be asleep at this time? I was insensitive.”

But I didn’t want to be embraced.

“If you know. Then.”

Erica cleared her throat a few times and then made a sulky expression.

Thinking this was a good opportunity, I just closed my eyes and buried my face in the pillow again.

It was to soothe my tired mind.

“…Where do you think you’re sleeping.”

Something was placed on my head and my hair started to be tossed around.

“Don’t tangle it.”

“It’s punishment.”

“What punishment.”

“……”

Since there was no response, I just stopped thinking.

It wasn’t particularly important conversation. Neither she nor I brought up the main point.

Feeling unnecessarily frustrated, I opened my mouth.

“The syringe hurt. What did you put in it?”

“…Ingredients used to make sleeping pills and a little something else.”

“I feel betrayed. You pretended to be so worried about me, I didn’t know you were having such lecherous thoughts inside.”

When Erica closed her mouth, I was about to blurt out something without thinking.

“Wh-what are you going to do?”

“What?”

“If I was having lecherous thoughts, what are you going to do?”

“What do you mean, just.”

Well.

“…Just that, you know.”

“……”

Seeing her bow her head, the conversation was cut off again.

I regretted pushing Bloody away for no reason. At times like this, if I could use Bloody as a shield to draw attention…

“Are you getting embarrassed after saying it yourself?”

“No.”

Erica, with a calm face, rummaged through her pocket and handed over a small capsule filled with pills.

“What’s this?”

“Cold medicine.”

“I don’t have a cold.”

“You said it was like a cold for humans last time.”

Ah, that.

Of course, I just said that.

Despite my blank stare, this time she grabbed my hand and forced the medicine into it.

“Really cold medicine…”

It’s not, is it.

“Yeah. Thanks for the thought. But I don’t need this.”

“Why?”

“Why, because it’s meaningless.”

Erica stared at me blankly.

So, I smiled slightly.

“Or should I have lied here? I was insensitive again.”

“But, still.”

Her pupils shook and her arm drooped, so I put the pill back in her hand.

It’s not that I said it’s meaningless because it doesn’t hurt.

The process of naturally blurting out something I had been pretending to hide was, surprisingly,

simple.

“There are many people who need it more than me. The Association’s medical room probably isn’t in a good situation. You didn’t realize that bringing something like this for me is illegal.”

So.

To give to me.

“I just, well. If I’m going to receive something from you, I’d prefer Erica-style homemade chocolate.”

“…But you don’t like sweet things…”

“Then I’d like one with a high cocoa content.”

I hope it’s bitter because it’s too sweet.

When Erica bowed her head again, I gently lifted her chin.

And met her eyes.

“Hug me a little.”

I entered her embrace hesitantly and closed my eyes.

She trembled.

“Repeat after me.”

“……”

“I hate you.”

“……”

“If you don’t say anything, I’m just going to leave.”

“…I, I… you… you…”

“I hate how you lie every time, and how you throw tantrums like a child.”

“Ev-every… every time…”

“You have no consideration or kindness, but when I treat you gently, you’re like a beast that grins and loves it.”

So. And.

“I really hate how you say there’s nothing wrong with your body, pretending not to worry me, but then you can’t control yourself and pour out your mental illness.”

Erica bit her lip and bled.

“So I decided. That someday, I’ll definitely kill you.”

Because that’s the cure.

“You’re not saying anything.”

“…It’s my feelings.”

“It’s okay.”

When I raised my hand, the handcuffs jingled.

“I’ll work hard and make you become like that.”

When Erica glared at me, I smiled once more.

“Do you dislike it?”

“…I just don’t like you trying to manipulate me as you please.”

“You’ve been doing that all along.”

My shoulder was pushed.

“Ugh.”

My vision swayed as I lost balance. I tried to get up from the fallen state, but even that was difficult because of my handcuffed hands.

I managed to raise my upper body while struggling, but I fell again because my forehead was pressed down by her finger.

“What’s wrong?”

“…You look good like this.”

Isn’t that too childish?

Seeing the corners of her mouth slightly rising, I pretended to cry.

“Help me up.”

“I don’t want to.”

“Please.”

Erica narrowed her eyes and extended her hand.

As soon as I grabbed it hastily…

“Ugh.”

I became one with the bed again as she pushed my hand away.

“You’ll be like that in the future too.”

“…That’s too much.”

“You won’t be able to do anything without me, and you’ll beg every time, clinging to me.”

I blinked.

“To the point where you can’t even think the thoughts in your head, to the point where you can’t even make that face you sometimes show.”

My collar was grabbed and my upper body was forcibly raised. As soon as my body slightly lifted.

“…So, with such a sad face… Don’t say unpleasant things.”

Seeing her dark eyes, I just.

Laughed dejectedly.

After leaving the break room, I was sitting in the office, lost in thought, when the Director approached.

“Jekyll has started her activities.”

“That’s news to me.”

“How long has it been since you’ve been to the office, you can’t possibly mean that.”

“Where’s Erica?”

“In a meeting.”

Looking outside, smoke was rising from various places.

“There’s a precedent of her brainwashing entire groups of Awakened and using them. It seems she’s planning something again, whether it’s a second wave or what. They say her movements have been noticed recently.”

“The Association doesn’t have enough manpower.”

“That’s why the Alliance is being urgently summoned.”

I thought it would be difficult.

“She’s causing terrorism in various places centered around Uijeongbu. Regardless of important buildings.”

“Regardless?”

“Ah, I mean there are some places she’s leaving alone. I thought maybe it’s just because she’s very moody.”

I rubbed my wrist while waiting for the next words.

“It seems she’s trying to persuade them. To draw them into her group. Using stats as a negotiation tool, and if they don’t come over, she pulls out her sword.”

“That’s a big problem.”

“Could you go and just show your face?”

“Me? I’m having a hard time these days.”

“Why, because Erica’s keeping you on a tight leash?”

“I’m sad when you say things like that, Director.”

“But I can see that you like it.”

I was about to say something but closed my mouth.

Erica approached, perhaps the meeting had ended.

“What’s going on?”

I avoided her eyes. The Director said something, and then Erica looked at me again.

“Cooperate.”

“…Okay.”

We went down to the lower floor.

Now it seemed like she wanted to hold onto me completely, tightly gripping the handcuffs as I was being dragged along.

“Can’t you handle me a bit more gently? I think I’ve said my wrists hurt more than five times today.”

“I’m keeping an eye on you because I don’t know when you might do something.”

My desk had been neatly organized, someone must have touched it.

“I did it.”

“It wasn’t necessary.”

Force was applied to my hand. She grabbed the connecting link of the handcuffs and pulled it up strongly. Pain was felt in my wrists as my arms were forcibly stretched.

“At times like this, you’re supposed to say thank you.”

“…Okay.”

“Again.”

Since there was no sign of her letting go of the handcuffs, I muttered weakly.

“Thank you.”

Is this something to nod at satisfactorily?

Erica let go of my arm and took out a report.

“We believe there’s a chance the group might visit the Association during their activities. The reason they haven’t come until now is said to be because Aureli is here.”

“I haven’t done anything.”

“It’s probably because your existence itself has an effect.”

When I became gloomy, Erica became urgent.

“Ah, no. I didn’t mean it like that… It means you’re that strong. You know that, right?”

“I don’t know. I think I might know if you undo the handcuffs.”

Erica returned to her expressionless face and turned the report page.

“The target building where the resident group is located is not far from the Association. It’s Yangju City. The plan is that if you show your face along with the Alliance that will suppress the riot, it will be easier to enter negotiations.”

“So it will be easier.”

“Both our side and the Alliance side are in urgent need of manpower. We’re choosing a method that doesn’t involve bloodshed if possible. …You understand, right?”

Still, seeing her look as if she was watching my reaction, I slightly leaned into her.

Soon after, a commotion was heard from outside.