I Didn’t Order a Desk

Time alone passed surprisingly quickly.

People in white coats came in and out of the hospital room to examine me, so I wasn’t completely isolated.

The chain around my ankle was long enough to let me move around the entire spacious room, so it wasn’t that uncomfortable.

It seemed like I was thinking positively about things I shouldn’t be thinking positively about…

But regardless of how I thought about it, nothing would change.

All I could do right now was wait for Asha to return.

“Hmm, was there such a big hospital around the guild headquarters…?”

Nothing bothered me except that the scenery visible through the hospital room window was somehow familiar.

And at this point, I had worried about too many things to care about anything more.

I tried not to worry or think about anything.

Just lying randomly on the wide bed, rolling around.

Sometimes staring blankly out the window, watching people passing by on the street.

Curiously looking at unfamiliar men who were bringing in a familiar-looking desk and setting it up across from my bed…

…Wait a minute.

“I didn’t order a desk…? Aren’t you at the wrong place?”

“No, we’re at the right place.”

The one who immediately denied my question while stepping into the hospital room was another familiar face.

I just blinked in surprise at Tana’s unexpected appearance.

“It’s been a while, Ms. Lua.”

The same calm, deep voice as always.

Clean formal attire with a crescent moon pattern.

Even the emotionless black gaze that subtly emanated a frightening atmosphere was familiar…

“So you’ve ended up a caged cat after all. Congratulations.”

For some reason, she looked angrier than I had ever seen her before.

In less than a second, I automatically checked her mood.

Under her steady gaze looking down at me, I unconsciously lowered my eyes to the floor.

Come to think of it, Asha wasn’t the only person I had deceived.

In other words, Tana was probably just as angry as Asha.

I was considering whether I should apologize profusely even now, when.

-Tap.

“You did some interesting things with your device. It was so elaborate that I was completely fooled.”

Unfortunately, this time Tana made the first move.

And she grabbed both my wrist and the device on it at once.

“If you’re someone who can manipulate even the location tracking function of the device, there’s no choice but to confine you like this. Thanks to you, I was logically persuaded by Asha for the first time in my life.”

The way Tana continued to examine each of my past actions one by one while using tremendous irony.

I couldn’t even think of any decent excuses anymore and just kept sweating profusely.

The men who had been installing the desk had already finished and disappeared somewhere long ago.

Which meant I was left alone with Tana in this spacious hospital room.

“Um, Tana. Should I… write a reflection letter now?”

“No, that won’t be necessary. You’ll just do the same thing again when you feel you have to, so what’s the point of a reflection letter?”

“N-No. I really won’t do dangerous things anymore. Please… believe me.”

“How can I believe someone who deceived guild members while even building a teleportation machine?”

I continued to squirm uncomfortably before Tana and finally asked in a crawling voice what I should do.

The answer that came back from Tana was just four words: nothing at all.

“You’ve already done everything reckless and dangerous without discrimination, so what more could you possibly do?”

“…I’m sorry…”

I knew I had done wrong.

Whether there were other options or not, I also knew these weren’t actions that could be easily forgiven.

Moreover, I had already been caught sneaking into a dungeon once before by Tana.

I had no choice but to keep listening to the scolding without being able to make any excuses or rebuttals.

But I was a little upset.

I didn’t do those dangerous things behind people’s backs because it was fun or enjoyable, but because I didn’t want my precious people to die or get hurt.

Still, I wished they would acknowledge that I too had struggled, even if just a little bit.

Even now, I couldn’t say the words that filled my throat because it felt like I was showing off or being childish.

For example, the result-oriented story that I had somehow succeeded in sinking the Tower.

Or that people wouldn’t have to suffer because of the Tower anymore.

The slightly pouty words that regardless of the process, I was alive and well in the end, so wasn’t that what mattered?

Honestly, from my perspective, I wondered why Tana.

A person who could be called cold-blooded without exaggeration, was getting this angry.

It’s awkward to say, but even Asha didn’t get this angry.

“Instead, she confined you. Well, if someone tried to run away as soon as they regained consciousness, even I would probably confine them first.”

“T-That… there were circumstances.”

“It’s usually harder to find someone without circumstances.”

…At this point, I was even feeling hurt by Tana.

Even so, she could have at least said I did a good job.

I didn’t do those things to get recognition from anyone… but being constantly scolded made me feel bad.

“If you felt good, that would be more problematic.”

“…Did you come here to make me cry?”

“If by any chance Ms. Lua reflects on her mistakes while crying, I couldn’t ask for anything more.”

I finally realized that keeping my mouth shut was the best option right now.

But from the moment I sealed my own lips, more serious words began to reach my ears.

“I’m not saying I don’t know that you had a hard time. Who in the world wouldn’t have a hard time after doing such things?”

“It’s just that you seem to think that the people saved by your hardship will be happy. That they’ll be glad.”

“I wish you would think about how the people who witnessed you choosing death right before their eyes might have felt. Even if it’s hard to imagine.”

I couldn’t say anything, for a different reason than before.

Shortly after, a hand that had been suspended in the air gently came to rest on my shoulder.

“…I’m glad you woke up. I thought I wouldn’t have another chance to scold you like this.”

Was it just a momentary illusion that those black eyes, always straight and cold, became momentarily blurry?

Eventually, I felt like I was receiving things I hadn’t heard in words through Tana’s uncharacteristically gentle patting.

After a brief silence continued like that.

As Tana slowly turned away from me and headed toward the desk across from the bed, I finally asked about the identity of the desk.

However, she asked me if Asha hadn’t told me, turning the question back to me.

“Didn’t Asha tell you anything?”

“Hmm, she only said she would stay by my side from now on… Wait.”

I belatedly realized that the promise made with her pinky finger had no other meaning than its literal one.

Not long after, various documents that Tana began to take out showed me that my suspicion wasn’t just a suspicion.

What was completed with just a few hand gestures from Tana was the familiar scene of an office, so recognizable that it would be strange not to recognize it.

“I-I didn’t realize you really intended to work here.”

“I didn’t know either. Honestly, I was hoping to never find out.”

She added a mutter that was close to a sigh.

A soliloquy expressing the weariness of someone who was serving as both the vice guild master and the guild master’s secretary, wondering how they would handle important meetings and conferences.

“Y-You can do it, Tana!”

“…Thanks for the words, at least.”

If we were to identify the cause, it was me again.

I awkwardly scratched my head at the sight of a snowball caused by me alone rolling out of control.

As I continued to watch Tana organizing documents with apologetic eyes, it was already around lunchtime when Asha had promised to return.

Not long after, Tana called me briefly saying she had something to check with me, so I got up from the bed.

For some reason, completely opposite to how she had been scolding me earlier, she kept trying to say something but stopping herself.

Finally unable to bear Tana’s suddenly noticeably cautious demeanor, I asked first why she was acting that way.

What followed from the briefly contemplating Tana was a story from half a year ago.

That is, a story about the time when I was moving around preparing to sink the Tower.

“I’ve discovered most of Ms. Lua’s activities during the past half year, but I couldn’t hear about the time spent in the Holy Kingdom from anyone.”

“All I heard from your companions was that you were with the Saint. Could you possibly tell me now what happened with the Saint?”

Almost simultaneously, my face flushed hot.

‘Ah, please, Sister Dainur. I’ll feed you fruit.’

‘Sister Dainur’s hand feels good. Please keep stroking me.’

‘Yes. I’m happiest when I’m with Sister Dainur…’

‘…I love you, Sister Dainur…’

Eventually, with my ears reddening at all sorts of embarrassing memories unfolding like a panorama, I exercised my right to remain silent.

“T-That’s the one thing I absolutely… can’t tell you.”