Chapter 76: Nicotine and Valley

‘This is ridiculous…. What kind of lunatic would sue a decent person like me?’

I’d been falsely accused a few times back on Earth, but I never expected it to happen again in a novel.

Wondering what deranged individual could be behind this, I tore open the envelope. Inside was a name I’d been eagerly awaiting.

‘Finally…!! It’s here at last!!’

Seeing that name filled me with joy. I had to resist the urge to start kicking wildly into the air.

The ones suing me were none other than the virgin juniors pretending to be Brother Ponpon’s descendants.

Their reason? They demanded I return the spoils I’d rightfully claimed after defeating Lobo.

They also wanted an apology for insulting Pierre and the Pierre family. Seems they’d heard about what I did to that statue.

“Bahahahaha…!!”

“…That kind of laughter suggests you’ve done something weird again. What trouble have you caused this time?!”

In contrast to my joy, Jessica shouted from beside me, apparently worried about my being sued.

Her body trembled slightly, probably concerned for her master getting sued. What an adorable kid.

“What’s this, Jessica? Are you that worried about me?! Want to know? Should I tell you?!”

“Shut up!! Who said I was worried?! I just don’t want any more commotion!”

“So you don’t want me to tell you?”

“Ugh…!!”

“Ian, before you’re Ian the individual, you’re a student of this academy. We need to respond somehow, so stop fooling around and explain quickly!”

If it had just been Jessica, I wouldn’t have minded explaining. But since this happened during my probation, I was reluctant to speak in front of Marina.

It would come out eventually, but wanting to put out the immediate fire, I quickly mounted Silence.

Sensing my intention to flee, Marina cast a spell to stop me. But Silence, having anticipated my thoughts, started running before she could.

“Hyah!!”

Silence burst through the ice blocking the door and galloped down the hallway.

Marina and Jessica chased after us, but they were no match for Silence, who had grown even faster by sharing my energy.

“Bahahahaha!! No one can stop me!!”

I shouted as we raced down the corridor, but soon had to screech to a stop when Euclid appeared at the other end.

“I-Ian…?!”

“Nana!! Get in front!”

Hearing my command, Nana shoved aside the startled Euclid and blocked our path.

To minimize the impact, I half-dismounted Silence and used my legs as brakes.

A moment later, despite our desperate efforts, we collided with Nana’s shield. But her shield must have had an impact-reducing spell, as the shock didn’t reach Euclid.

“Haa….”

“Haa….”

Having averted a potentially disastrous accident, Nana and I sank to the floor with sighs of relief.

“…Hey, don’t run in the hallways.”

“…Shouldn’t ‘no horseback riding’ come first?”

“That too…”

After this brief exchange, I collected myself and tried to escape again. But Marina, who had somehow caught up, grabbed my shoulder.

“Haa…!! Q-Quickly explain what you’ve done… Ah…?!”

Marina, who had been the calmest person here until now, and Jessica, who appeared right after, both stumbled back upon seeing Euclid collapsed on the floor.

“Y-Your Highness…!”

“Why is His Highness at the Knight Department training grounds…?”

“Ah, well… I came to see Ian. But I’m just a fellow student now, so there’s no need for such formality.”

“To see Ian…?”

At Euclid’s words, Jessica and Marina turned to me almost simultaneously.

“Didn’t I tell you? He’s my friend.”

“F-Friend…! You…!! You didn’t do anything disrespectful to His Highness, did you?!”

Jessica’s face turned ashen, as if imagining something terrible. Euclid hastily waved his hands and spoke urgently.

“N-No, nothing like that! He’s been quite kind to me actually, so there’s no need to worry! Lady Jessica.”

“W-Well, that’s a relief, but…”

“By the way Jessica, didn’t you say before that if I made a friend, you’d bully and isolate them? Well, here’s my friend. Why don’t you try it?”

“…Shut up.”

“Ahem!”

As the atmosphere grew rowdy, Marina cleared her throat once to gather attention and refocus the scattered mood.

“Enough chatter… Now, Ian, explain what trouble you’ve caused to get yourself sued.”

“S-Sued…?”

At the mention of a lawsuit, Euclid was visibly startled while Nana smirked as if she’d expected it.

Gauging Marina’s mood, I hesitated briefly before addressing her.

“…You won’t get angry, right?”

“That depends on what you say… but I’m quite patient, so try trusting me and speak.”

Not at all reassured by her words, I hesitated momentarily before recounting the incident.

As I spoke, looks of disbelief and skepticism were directed at me.

“…Did you really defeat Marang?”

“Yeah, I nearly died, but somehow survived. The real problem came after.”

I had to alter the part about finding Pierre’s grave since explaining my otherworldly origin would be complicated. Instead, I said a spirit had told me Pierre’s story.

As I recounted Pierre’s heartbreaking Ponpon life, the women clenched their fists, seemingly unable to contain their anger.

“To think… such a tragic truth lay hidden behind a hero’s death…”

As Jessica spoke, looking shocked while running a hand over her face, Euclid chimed in sympathetically.

“I understand the shock you’re feeling, milady! As a mage, I greatly respected Sir Pierre, but to think…”

Really? You respected someone who used a weapon that looks like it could give you monkey pox?

I felt like I’d uncovered one secret behind Euclid’s androgynous appearance.

When I finished speaking, Marina, who had listened intently without interrupting, spoke with a grave expression.

“I understand the situation. But where are the armaments Sir Pierre possessed…?”

“I disassembled them and combined the materials with Wolffang to create a new katana. This one here. Impressive, isn’t it?”

“Y-You disassembled it?!!”

In stark contrast to her composure moments ago, Marina cried out loudly and instantly deflated.

“I was hoping to get my hands on Sir Pierre’s staff…!”

“Oh… I turned the disassembled staff into a scabbard. Would you like to touch that instead?”

As I offered Wolffang’s scabbard, Marina seemed to consider it briefly. But she soon shook off her lingering attachment, turning away with tears in her eyes.

“But this revelation feels like it’s resolving all the questions we’ve had up until now…”

“Questions? What do you mean?”

“Well… I hate to speak ill of others, but the Pierre family hasn’t produced any exceptional magic swordsmen since Sir Pierre. And…”

“And?”

“And… this is just a rumor, so I’m hesitant to say it, but both the current family head and her daughter… their spouses died in incidents suspected to be intentional…”

“Incidents suspected to be intentional?”

“Yes…”

Jessica explained that the husband of the current Viscountess Pierre, head of the family, died from eating poisonous mushrooms shortly after she gave birth.

Her daughter’s husband also tragically drowned while vacationing in a valley, swept away by strong currents.

Accidents can happen anytime, and even consecutive occurrences don’t necessarily prove anything. But the issue lay in what followed.

Whether by coincidence or not, both husbands, though not nobles, were incredibly wealthy. After their deaths, their fortunes passed to their wives.

Moreover, given the endless rumors about the Viscountess and the castle’s magic swordsman after her husband’s death, and how her behavior completely changed after marriage, it was indeed a reasonable suspicion.

“It wouldn’t be strange to marry such wealthy men if the domain was in financial crisis, but for it to happen twice in a row…”

“…What happened to those two women afterwards? Wasn’t there an investigation or something?!”

“Who would investigate the death of a commoner in someone else’s domain? Of course not. The cases were closed and that was the end of it.”

“These f*cking whore b*tches!!!!!!!”

As you sow, so shall you reap. Is this all that can come from the egg of that whore Mrs. Ponpon and the sperm of that manwhore alpha male?!

No, perhaps this is for the best. If those two had been decent people, I might have hesitated a bit. But now I can tear those f*cking b*tches’ p*ssies apart without reservation.

Calming my heart, which had grown as hot as the friction heat generated during baldo, I let out a deep sigh.

“Phew…. I’ll definitely… definitely kill them…!!”

“…You’re getting quite worked up over something that doesn’t concern you. Did you secretly admire Sir Pierre or something?”

When Jessica suddenly spouted such nonsense, I wiped all humor from my face and spoke gravely to convey how serious I was.

“What bullsh*t are you talking about? Why would I admire some idiot who uses a weapon that looks like it could give you AIDS?”

“Then why are you so angry…?”

Haah… Is this mere cinnamon roll noblewoman incapable of understanding why I’m so enraged?

“Listen well, Jessica. It’s not the way of a baldo practitioner to simply overlook injustice.”

Especially when it involves f*cking b*tches.

Just as a drawn katana must return to its scabbard, a baldo practitioner has a duty to return things to where they should be.

In this case, where those b*tches should be is not in a luxurious castle, but in a cold, insect-infested grave.

I’m sending these pieces of trash, who should have died by Pierre’s hand that day, to where they belong after 200 years.

After explaining all this, Jessica looked at me as if I was spouting madness. But Euclid, seemingly greatly impressed, muttered softly:

“How cool…!”