Impulse and Correction (2)

The cake was sweet.

The sword piercing my chest was not sweet.

I struggled to breathe. It was difficult. This pitiful body was only accustomed to pain, not immune to feeling it.

Cough.

I’m choking because of the cough.

“That must hurt.”

“That’s not quite the right reaction. You’re saying this after stabbing three swords through my upper body, pinning me to the back of the chair?”

Erica’s white eyes coldly looked down at me from across the table, then pointed to the clerk groaning in the corner.

“I’m giving you a deserved punishment. This situation is dangerous after all.”

“I don’t know where the Erica from a few hours ago went, the one who was trying so hard to comfort me.”

“That was then.”

It seems I’ve been deceived.

Suddenly.

So when her gaze that she showed me when we first met once again captured my attention in this place.

The following voice was infinitely kind.

“Because now I’m involved in a matter related to my position.”

“Looks delicious.”

“What?”

Erica glanced at the chocolate cake in front of her.

“That’s mine.”

“Not that. The blood staining your uniform.”

To be precise, I was talking about the fresh red blood slowly flowing from her unclothed wound.

“Actually, I’m about to feel thirsty.”

Urgh.

As if to prove my last words, my mouth spewed blood.

“Endure it.”

“I can’t endure. I’ll finish it quickly. Can’t you just pull out these swords? After that, finding a vein and sinking my fangs in, doing the act, that’s all my part, isn’t it?”

“That’s a crime.”

“What, bloodsucking?”

“Yes.”

“There’s no specific mention of bloodsucking acts in the law.”

“I just enacted it.”

Growth, huh.

Certainly, besides her abilities.

Showing such composure in this situation could be seen as mental growth.

In the past… she would have subdued me by force and been clumsily treating that clerk.

But at this moment, the situation has all concluded, and even the clerk was regaining strength thanks to Erica’s previous efforts.

“I’ve called for medical staff and personnel, so just endure until then.”

Is she talking about bloodsucking? Or this pain?

“Will you remove these swords then?”

Silence fell.

“Erica?”

“I’ll think about it.”

“It hurts too much.”

“I stuck them in to make it hurt.”

Silence fell again. A piece of cake flowed into her mouth. I could only stay still, restrained, frowning at the pain that constricted my body if I moved even slightly.

“If only you’d stay quiet…”

“I am staying quiet.”

“I’m talking about usually.”

I smiled slightly as I watched Erica not even meeting my eyes.

Are you sulking? Or are you angry?

I wasn’t allowed to remove the swords. It was like a simple atonement. For example, this current situation that would make a normal person cry, scream, and faint had befallen me.

But I, who was subject to this, had committed not just one sin.

For saying unnecessary things, for bringing down the mood and whining, for stupidly revealing my sickly mind in front of her.

For causing a commotion by breaking someone’s daily life, and for still feeling relieved and laughing inside about continuing the plan even now.

Groaning under the weight of such pressure,

Thinking to myself that I have no value to live, this meaningless conversation with you was the only time allowed to me.

“Why are you so quiet?”

“Why?”

“It’s suspicious when you’re quiet.”

I avoided her gaze. My chin was grabbed. My head was forcibly turned and our eyes met.

“Don’t think strange thoughts.”

“What could I do? Can’t you see I’m restrained by your swords? I can’t do anything.”

There was nothing I could do.

“Correction.”

My chin was released. The cake was all eaten, the plate was cleanly emptied.

“We had that conversation before, didn’t we? About getting to know you.”

“Did we?”

“Yes.”

I felt repulsed.

“I don’t remember.”

“We did. Your opinion doesn’t particularly matter. Just accept that such a thing happened.”

“You’re being forceful. Where did your gentle side go?”

“Expecting gentleness after creating this situation in front of me is nothing short of foolish, you know?”

With a glaring look, my cheek was pinched. I squirmed slightly. The blade grazed my lungs and it hurt.

“You seem to separate work and personal feelings.”

“Anyway, back to the topic.”

Her hand moved away. I felt regretful.

“You clinging to me and acting spoiled… I thought we needed a countermeasure.”

I wonder when she developed a taste for teasing me.

Erica opened her lips.

“From now on, I’ll make sure you don’t cry.”

Suddenly.

When I came to my senses.

I was staring at her blankly.

“I don’t know what you mean.”

“It means exactly what I said.”

“It’s not particularly interesting… First of all, it doesn’t seem like something you should say while stabbing the person in question with swords several times.”

How should I put it.

Perhaps I should have responded to even this earlier. Such regret washed over me.

“It can’t be helped. You avoid and run away otherwise. Even when I got close to you, when I hugged you, you whined and made gestures trying to distance yourself little by little.”

“Uh, yeah. Right. Your embrace was warm.”

“Don’t change the subject.”

When I first encountered her kind gaze, I should have rejected her cozy touch… and even if I ended up hurting her by spitting out curses, I should have run away from that place.

Isn’t that right?

I didn’t want to hear the details.

I moved my lips and answered in as calm a tone as possible.

“I don’t need it.”

“Then promise me you won’t cause trouble in front of me.”

“I can’t do that.”

I smiled gently and bit the finger Erica held out with my mouth, leaning my upper body.

…It was immediately pulled away though.

“I want you to glare at me with a perplexed expression.”

“I knew you’d say that.”

Erica calmly pulled out a tissue from the side and wiped her finger.

“I’ll correct that mindset along with the rest. I might treat you more forcefully.”

The sentence she recited softly followed.

“Because I want you to smile.”

Silence fell.

“Just seeing you is enough to make me happy.”

“I wonder about that.”

My lips trembled.

Our gazes met.

“I want to get to know you.”

“We already talked about that. Long ago.”

“And then it fell through.”

Around that time, many things happened around us and it passed by vaguely.

“Well, that’s how time passing day by day usually is. It was natural. But it wasn’t meaningless. Because we got closer to each other through that conversation.”

“I don’t think you should say such things.”

“I don’t want to.”

I exhaled.

“It’s only recently that I feel like I’ve gotten to know you better.”

“I don’t know what you mean.”

“Fine. Just keep pretending you don’t know anything.”

Erica smiled slightly.

I bit my lip without realizing. Blood flowed.

Erica took out a handkerchief. A tissue would do. My lips were wiped.

“You’re so clumsy. Like a child.”

“…Do you think I’ll fall for this?”

“Hadn’t you already fallen?”

“I was trying not to. It’s because you’re too pretty.”

Erica’s face turned red for a moment, then she coughed a few times.

“I really can’t understand your true feelings…”

“It’s meaningless anyway.”

Erica blinked and looked at me.

“I made a resolution today. I’ll act more impulsively and fervently for you, and I’ll shake your emotions more strongly.”

“You’ll become docile with just one stroke from me anyway.”

My mouth closed. I slightly averted my gaze.

“Even in this situation, I have the upper hand. The three swords piercing you, inscribed with command words. You can’t move an inch without my permission.”

“I can remove them quickly once time passes.”

“Until then, you can’t do anything to me.”

My mouth closed again. Are you holding my love for you hostage? This is clearly gaslighting.

“You can’t touch my body as you please, you can’t point a sword at me. If I don’t talk to you, you’ll be desperate. Because you, li-like me.”

“You’ll regret this.”

I was ignored.

Erica stood up without a word. She seemed to be approaching the clerk, who appeared to have come to his senses, to talk to him.

[Isn’t this good? You should admit your feelings now and thank her for caring. There’s no other girl like her!]

“I don’t want to.”

[Don’t put up unnecessary pride!]

“I can’t.”

It wasn’t simply a matter of pride. It was about the plan going awry and the issue with my heart. Because the hatred she held for me was a deserved punishment for my self-loathing.

Only the illness weighing on my mind allowed me to escape from the pleasure derived from her kindness. The thorns on me pushed her away. If I reached out my hand, it hurt her.

And thus, paradoxically.

I was getting close to her while avoiding her.

And thus.

Being aware of my position.

Just by simply talking to her, I was torn apart.

Criticized, ignored.

A presence approached.

Clear eyes with a sulky face turned towards me, then shifted to the coffee.

Ah.

But actually.

I, to you. To your gaze. To your smile. Without realizing it.

My lips trembled. When I lowered my head, the area pierced by the sword caused pain.

“…Erica.”

“Yes.”

A clear answer was heard.