Chapter 74: Is it me or the Saintess?

How much time had passed while I was holding Arien?

One hand intertwined with hers, while the other gently stroked her back in a comforting motion.

“It’s okay. This isn’t your fault, Lady Caltry.”

At first, Arien tensed awkwardly, but soon, she was leaning against my shoulder, letting out shaky breaths.

How much had she endured in silence until now?

Having walked only the path of the sword, socially unskilled, she’d faced scorn and ridicule from many nobles at social gatherings.

The seemingly hard exterior must have been completely fractured inside.

Loneliness seeps in like poison, regardless of who you are.

But Arien had nowhere to reveal this pain.

Not even to the kind Lillian, nor to her family—she didn’t want to be a burden.

So, it’s no wonder my words stirred her so deeply. I was unearthing the sorrow she had buried so deeply within her.

“It’s, it’s getting late. You should return now, my lady.”

Arien, who had nestled in my arms like a small bird, carefully pushed me away.

Her ears were tinted red, and she couldn’t meet my gaze, her eyes darting around.

Perhaps she was embarrassed to be held by someone smaller than herself.

But even so, Arien didn’t let go of our intertwined hands.

As if clinging to the warmth that passed between our fingers, our hands remained joined.

‘How cute,’

I looked at Arien with a smile that was hard to hide.

“Lady Caltry… May I ask your age?”

“…Why are you asking my age?”

“I wanted to get closer to you, Lady Caltry. And if you would allow it, I’d like to call you by your name.”

“…I’m twenty this year.”

“Ah…! Then you’re my older sister. Would it be alright if I called you Arien?”

“…As you please.”

“Hehe, then you can feel free to speak casually with me too, Arien. After all, you’re my senior.”

“Uhm… er…”

Though I was the daughter of a baron, Arien was the daughter of a marquis.

And with her being older than me, there was no reason for her to show deference to me.

Yet the only reason she treated me so politely was her deeply ingrained sense of courtesy.

“Arien, could I maybe stay here tonight?”

I looked up at her, entwining my arm through hers. Arien’s eyes widened at my expectant gaze.

“S-s-stay the night?!”

“Was that too sudden…? I know it might be inconvenient, but… I just wanted to spend more time with you. It’s so enjoyable being with you…”

“Arien… do you not want me to…?”

As my gaze fell, filled with melancholy, Arien’s body began to tremble slightly without reason.

“I-I’ll need to get permission from Mother regarding a guest. Please wait a moment.”

In the end, she raised her hands in surrender, succumbing to my pleading gaze.

“Then, may I join you to greet her as well?”

“…As you wish.”

“Thank you, Arien.”

I buried my face against her shoulder, gently rubbing my head back and forth.

After watching me hesitate for quite some time, Arien finally began to stroke my head awkwardly.

Slowly, and softly.

***

As the moonlight gracefully enveloped the bedroom, I looked at Arien with my arms open wide.

“Hehe, don’t you think Arien’s clothes are a bit too big on me?”

Arien looked at me without a word, then glanced away with an embarrassed cough.

“Ahem.”

“It’s just because you have such a great physique, Arien.”

Having not brought any nightwear, I borrowed Arien’s nightdress.

The size difference was more significant than I’d thought, making the dress hang loosely, with my skin visible through the thin fabric in various places.

Arien stole a few glances at me, then turned her head, slightly stiffening.

“Arien, could you open your arms for me?”

“…Huh? Like this?”

Arien spread her arms out on the bed without a word. I tiptoed over to her and threw myself into her embrace.

My plan was to lay her down on the bed, but Arien’s surprisingly firm body didn’t budge at all. Instead, her embrace held me completely.

“Tina, Tina…”

“Hehe, I’m so happy I get to stay with Arien all night.”

“It feels a bit too close…”

“Don’t you like it?”

“No, it’s not that…”

As you can see, our relationship has grown much closer than before.

While we shared dinner and chatted, at some point, Arien began speaking to me more casually as well.

It wasn’t difficult.

For two years, I had lived as a pet for various noble ladies.

I visited numerous noble estates, threw little tantrums late at night, and displayed obedient behavior to them.

Befriending someone like Arien, whose heart was full of scars, wasn’t challenging for me either.

“Arien, you always seem so stoic. I’d love to see you smile too.”

“I’m not exactly the type to smile often.”

“Really? Then, can I test it out?”

“Test? How?”

“Hmm… Not sure?”

I smiled mischievously and lunged at her.

“Like this? Surprise tickle attack!”

“Hee, hee-yak! W-wait! A-ahaha! That tickles!”

“Oh? You laughed! Oh wow, Arien, you’re so pretty when you smile!”

Arien’s face turned increasingly red, seemingly flustered. Seeing her like that, I grinned with a bashful smile.

“I’m a girl too, but I think I might fall for you. Can’t you keep smiling like this?”

Her face, unaccustomed to compliments, blushed easily, and her gaze shyly drifted to the floor.

“T-that’s a bit of an exaggeration…”

“Hehe, it’s true.”

Afterward, we kept tickling each other and playing around on the bed. Eventually, we were exhausted and lay side by side, catching our breaths, looking at each other.

In this quiet moment, as we gazed into each other’s eyes, the distance between us no longer felt far.

It was about time to bring it up.

The playfulness had faded, and a serious atmosphere lingered in the room.

With a bittersweet smile, I carefully looked at Arien.

“Arien… it must be hard for you.”

“…Huh?”

“There are so many bad rumors about the saintess going around lately. And you got dragged into it as well.”

She looked at me silently. I lowered my head, my face crumpling with emotion.

“I really don’t know who’s spreading these rumors. Arien is the last person who should be hearing things like that…”

Arien listened quietly and then tilted her head slightly as she asked,

“Tina… don’t you know either?”

“No, if I did, I would have given them a piece of my mind by now. Seeing you suffer like this…”

“Fufu…”

Despite the pained look on her face, she let out a faint smile.

After fiddling with her fingers for a while, Arien sighed briefly and gazed at me.

“In truth… there was a time I doubted you too.”

“…Me?”

“Yes. After I got to know you, I did think about it once. Tina, if you harbored malice, it would be really terrifying. So, when the rumors about the saintess started… strangely enough, you were the first one that came to mind.”

I couldn’t respond to that. A strange emotion welled up inside me, but I simply waited for her to continue.

“But not anymore.”

“…Really?”

“Yes. Today, looking at your face and talking directly with you, I’m certain. You’re not someone who’d harbor such malice.”

Arien gently smiled as she stroked my head. Naturally, I nestled closer, resting my head against her.

Hmm… I feel a bit guilty.

After all, I’m the one who spread all those rumors.

Of course, I wasn’t the one who directly slandered the saintess, but I did lay the groundwork with countless hints before that story even surfaced.

But, wow, Arien has pretty sharp instincts.

“Tina… you know, actually…”

When the night deepens, people’s hearts inevitably grow sentimental and truthful.

In such an atmosphere, if there’s someone by their side, most noble ladies tend to reveal the secrets they usually keep hidden.

I couldn’t even count the number of secrets I’d heard from them – enough to fill a book if I put them all together.

Since Arien is human too, she probably wants to share her struggles.

Just like she is now.

“Father recently withdrew his order to look after the Saintess.”

“Really?”

“Yes. As bad rumors about the Saintess began to spread, the reputation of our Caltry Marquis family started to decline.”

“I didn’t know that. But you kept protecting the Saintess, Arien.”

Arien sighed lightly.

“No matter what Father ordered, how could I abandon her in an instant? Right now, I’m all Lillian has.”

“But still, Arien, it’s been hard on you.”

“Yes… Honestly, it’s been really tough. At first, I thought I could brush it off, but being criticized by everyone has been painful.”

“Have you talked to the Saintess about it?”

“Of course not. How could I tell Lillian, ‘I’m struggling because of you’?”

“Still, I believe this is the right thing to do. Lillian isn’t a bad person, and she was chosen directly by the Goddess.”

Arien wrapped her arm around my waist and pulled me closer to her.

At a distance close enough to feel each other’s breath, Arien blushed and looked at me.

“And now, I’m not struggling anymore. Knowing that Tina and you care about me has been a great comfort.”

“Really…?”

“Yes. As long as you’re by my side, I feel like I can overcome any criticism from the nobles. Will you stay with me from now on?”

The atmosphere felt almost like a proposal.

“Arien, can I ask you something?”

“Yes, ask anything.”

“You’ve been a tremendous comfort to the Saintess. Is it the same the other way around?”

“The other way around?”

“Does the Saintess provide you with comfort as well?”

“That…”

Arien’s eyes trembled slightly. She couldn’t answer easily, so I spoke up first.

“It might be presumptuous of me… but from what I see, your relationship with the Saintess seems very one-sided.”

“One-sided?”

“Yes. The Saintess freely relies on you and finds comfort in you, but you only end up facing hardships because of it.”

“A relationship where one side leans and depends while the other only suffers… is never a fair relationship.”

“It’s not like that.”

“And the Saintess surely knows it. She’s a perceptive person. Yet, she continues to rely on you instead of pushing you away.”

“That… that’s because of the circumstances…”

“If it were me, I would have distanced myself. I wouldn’t want to see you suffer because of me, even if it pained me. Somehow, I would have tried to protect you.”

“Of course, there would be doubts.

Even if Lillian is innocent, she must vaguely realize that Arien is also facing criticism because of her.”

In the game, Lillian always kept Arien by her side.

There was no particular reason for it.

She kept her close to repay her debt to Arien, who continuously stood by her.

The boundless gratitude Lillian held toward Arien, who supported her to the end, became one of the key factors in her awakening as a true Saintess.

Eventually, Lillian, fully awakened as a Saintess, repaid that debt.

Until the game’s end, she offered her merits to the Caltry Marquis family, helping Arien’s reputation soar to the heavens.

“…Arien, this might be a rash statement.”

Though that was the truth, Arien’s feelings in the present might be different.

“Maybe the Saintess sees you not as someone precious, but as someone convenient to use.”

“Tina.”

Arien’s expression hardened.

Her calm voice seemed to warn me not to cross the line, but I held her hand with a more sorrowful look.

“I’ll say it. I can’t bear seeing you suffer anymore, Arien. You’ve also vaguely sensed it, haven’t you?”

“…No, Lillian has no other choice; she truly needs my help.”

“But right now, only you continue to bear the consequences. If the Saintess truly valued you, she wouldn’t allow this…! If I were the Saintess, I would never let you be ridiculed.”

It was a blatant lie, devoid of any true feeling, but my voice carried an air of sincerity as it left my lips.

“Tina, you’re so lovely that many people are willing to help you, but Lillian… she has no one by her side right now.”

“…Arien, you’re on the saintess’s side until the end, aren’t you? It makes my worries feel rather pointless.”

I released our intertwined hands and took a step away from her. As I lowered my head to hide my expression, Arien hastily grasped my hand again.

“T-That’s not what I meant, Tina.”

“Do you really like the saintess that much…? Even though she’s making you suffer so terribly?”

“It’s an unavoidable situation, Tina. Lillian is going through her own torment right now.”

“I hate the saintess. She’s making life so hard for you, and yet she refuses to let you go, which makes me furious.”

“Tina…!”

“…Fine.”

Eventually, I let out a short sigh and got up from the bed.

I was about to leave the room, but Arien ran over quickly and pulled me back.

“Where are you going, Tina?”

“To the guest room. I’m not in the mood to stay with you right now, Arien.”

I looked at Arien with a flat expression. Upon seeing my face, her eyes began to tremble, like leaves shaking in the wind.

“T-Tina, why are you looking at me like that?”

“Now that I think about it, it feels as if you, like the saintess, see me merely as a tool for comfort, Arien.”

“What?! That’s not true at all…!”

“…Maybe I overstepped. I’ll return to the mansion tomorrow at dawn, Lady Caltry.”

“Don’t go. And why are you suddenly addressing me so formally?”

As I turned away coldly, Arien grabbed my hand tightly.

“Don’t go, Tina. I need you here.”

“You have unwavering loyalty to the saintess, yet you ignore the heart that worries about you.”

“No, Tina…!”

“…No, I think the one you need is the saintess.”

Despite only having known her for a day, she was acting as if she’d die without me by her side.

How absurdly funny.

In the end, she was just like me, addicted to the poison of loneliness, desperately craving human affection and attention.

And in such a moment, a figure appeared, someone who would be solely on her side.

Just as my mother had been for me, I must have felt like a lifeline of salvation for Arien.

Loneliness is a poison that weakens a person, and once someone is addicted to the feeling of affection, they can never escape that addictive mire.

Just like me.

“I don’t need Lillian. I need you, Tina…!”

At her desperate and earnest plea, I paused and turned to look at her.

Perhaps she was so afraid; there were anxious tears forming at the corners of Arien’s eyes, who always seemed so strong.

“…Then, make a choice.”

“A choice…?”

I took a step closer to Arien.

Once more, I intertwined my fingers with hers and pressed my forehead against hers.

“I will make you happy, Arien. I’ll persuade everyone so the rumors circling around you disappear as soon as possible.”

“But, if you continue to ignore my concerns and stay by the saintess’s side, then I’ll have no choice but to give up.”

“T-That’s…”

“So please, choose.”

In my mind, I pictured the moment my mother abandoned me.

My emotions naturally surged, and a single tear welled up in my eye.

Seeing my tears, Arien’s eyes began to tremble uncontrollably.

In a voice shaking with the effort to suppress my turbulent emotions, I addressed Arien, my words tinged with a faint sob.

“Is it me, or the saintess?”

Someone who stays by your side out of justice and loyalty but continuously causes you anguish.

Or someone who, during your darkest times, stands with you, offering warm words of comfort and unending encouragement.

The answer should be obvious.

“I-I…”

And after that day,

Lillian was no longer seen in social circles.