Chapter 73: Poar (9)

The Guild Master’s scream echoed, lingering around the western mountains. Since we were in a low-lying area where the crimson sunset didn’t reach, we had to sit in the shade and compose ourselves. I had to hide my joy at finally resolving a case and getting closer to Lorena, while Lorena couldn’t hide her worry for her shocked father.

We shared bright smiles, hiding our true feelings from each other. Lorena’s lips trembled slightly, and her eyes couldn’t quite smile.

Lorena swept her hand across the table and leaned forward.

“Dad, you seem very shocked.”

As she leaned her body close to the table in her thin shirt, her chest became more prominent.

I straightened my back and lifted my head. Lifting my head, the old ceiling faced me. Up there were Alice and Jack right now. Alice had gone up herself, saying she would talk to the despairing Jack.

I said.

“…..It’ll be okay. Many people worry about Jack. Alice worries about Jack too.”

Lorena followed my gaze and looked up at the ceiling. Due to the narrow and noisy nature of the house, the only way we could observe the upper floor was by looking at the ceiling. We could infer the mood by listening to the muffled voices through the gaps in the ceiling, where nothing was visible.

A conversation was going back and forth in a flat tone. Even from here, Alice’s clear, sharp pronunciation could be heard distinctly. Lorena gave a small smile and then said to me again.

“Thank you so much. I don’t know how I can repay you.”

It was human instinct to want to make a woman do anything when she said thank you. I nodded, thinking about what kind of fun daily life we would continue to have together.

“There’s no need to repay me. Lorena, you’re my friend.”

“Evan…”

Lorena looked moved. She looked at me tearfully, then hugged me tightly and whispered in my ear again.

“Thank you, really.”

I patted her back, savoring the scent of her skin.

“What is it?”

The unfamiliar woman who followed him into his room evoked a sense of discomfort in Jack. Jack sat on the bed mattress, facing the woman who regarded him with a slanted posture. Alice twirled her red hair between her fingers and asked Jack.

“…..How did you feel hearing that story just now? About the Guild Master.”

Jack looked at Alice. Alice watched Jack, her expression unchanging. He looked down, scraping the floor with his shoe sole, and let out a deep sigh.

“It was shocking. I never imagined that a being like me would receive so much hatred from people. I mean, I really didn’t know it would escalate to the point of coming out and stabbing people.”

Jack covered his face. His messy hair and unshaven beard scraped against his rough palms, making a sound like scrubbing with a coarse brush. Jack said.

“You heard the story that I was once a knight, right?”

“Yes. I know. Ms. Ellen praised you a lot, saying you were a wonderful person. The office even said you weren’t the type of person to do something like that.”

“That’s right. Even after being framed and kicked out, many people around me supported me in that way.”

Jack was recalling the past. Whenever he buried his face in his drink, his brilliant past would appear.

“‘You are not a bad person. The world that made you this way is wrong.'”

It was all true. Because the world had thrown him to the bottom, he wanted to do whatever he pleased. He sold whatever he could get his hands on to buy alcohol and gambled on whatever came his way. Because in the thrill of winning small change and the brain-crushing hangover, resentment towards the country or pressure about the future never came to mind at all.

Even though he still had a chance to recover, Jack wasted his life.

“Someone once told me. ‘To try doing something else. Be a reliable dad, for your daughter’s sake.'”

“But those words never resonated with me. My daughter failed the knight exam because of me, and because of me, she was unable to become a knight.”

Jack was too afraid to look his daughter in the face. When was the last time he’d had a proper conversation with his daughter? Jack invested more time in his drinking glass and roulette than in his daughter. Because looking at her face felt like confronting his own incompetence. He felt like he would crumble if he admitted the guilt of not being a good father to her.

“I thought it would be better to just live like a dead person. I just gave up. I didn’t have the confidence to properly face Lorena and say I was sorry, and honestly, having fun was enjoyable. Since I lost my life’s purpose, I had no motivation for anything other than having fun. I drank, gambled, and just wanted to die like that. At some point, I collapsed drunk, and a carriage ran me over. My head was crushed, my ID was lost, so a guy like me couldn’t be found anywhere. I just wanted to die like that, and Lorena would forget about a person like me and find a new life.”

Alice watched Jack silently. Jack looked at Alice. Jack’s face was full of tears. His messy hair and unshaven beard scraped against his rough palms, making a sound like scrubbing with a coarse brush.

“But, you heard it today, didn’t you? The Guild Master said… ‘A dirty person like me can only be hated in this town.'”

“The moment I heard that, my mind suddenly cleared. I thought I could live as I pleased and that nothing mattered, but that wasn’t true. Because I’m living like this, Lorena is also hated. It’s not a life I should be living as I please, but I was living this way just because it was comfortable. It was all just an excuse. ‘I lost my life’s purpose. I’m sorry to my daughter.’ It was all an excuse. I… I was just a piece of trash living this way because it was comfortable. I was blocking my daughter’s path and sucking the life out of her youth.”

Alice watched Jack without saying a word. Jack looked at Alice. Jack’s face was full of tears. He shook his head, shedding tears drop by drop-tears he never wanted his daughter to see. Alice knew a man similar to him.

“My biological father was an official working in the capital. He took bribes and retired to the countryside; he was a man who loved alcohol and violence. My mother was always beaten by him. She tried not to show it to me, even though she cried every day, and she tried her best to protect me. What I thought about in that environment was hatred for my biological father. Hatred. I was less than 10 years old then, but I was learning the emotion of hatred.”

Alice slowly unclenched her fist, which she had unconsciously clenched. Releasing the tension in her hands that had turned white, she looked out the window. Cows were peacefully grazing on the hill as they did every day, and the moonlight cast long shadows.

“From then on, my life’s goal was simply to ruin him. ‘Work in the legal field and bring him down.’ ‘Or, save money and hire someone to kill him.’ ‘Judge him through the law, or just send him far away and live a new life, just us.'”

Jack looked at Alice. His wide eyes had stopped crying sometime during this. Alice leaned against the desk, looking down at Jack. Her gaze was incredibly sharp, making Jack shrink back. As Jack lowered his head again like a criminal, Alice continued.

“My life goal is pretty strange, isn’t it? It was the only goal I conceived from age 10 well into my twenties. ‘Just messing that bastard up.’ Jack. Neglectful parents ruin people. They leave nothing but hatred in the heart. If I hadn’t met my dad now, I might have become an even more wayward person.”

Jack hung his head again. He could hear his daughter’s laughter through the cracks in the floor. Lorena, still laughing cheerfully. The child who always put on a smiling face for him, reassuringly rolled up her sleeves and told him not to worry.

“Lorena still believes in you. It’s not too late. Don’t cry, let’s try again.”

When he closed his eyes, his daughter’s face came to mind. Jack opened his mouth carefully. It was a timid voice, like walking on glass.

“Can… can I really… do that?”

Jack asked Alice. Alice opened the door without a word. Answering this question was not something she could do. Jack nodded, passed Alice, and went downstairs. The stairs creaked. Following footsteps. The two people sitting across from each other at the table stood up, and Jack scratched his head as he looked at Lorena.

Lorena was still smiling, and the moment Jack saw her face, tears started flowing. Lorena hugged Jack tightly and said.

“Dad, why are you crying? Huh?”

“I’m sorry… I, I’m truly sorry. I, I’ll do better from now on…”

“I understand that you’ve had a hard time, Dad. You had a lot of trouble because of me, didn’t you?”

At those words, Jack broke down. He hugged Lorena tightly and began to cry like a beast. Jack’s wails echoed throughout the house. Alice leaned against the staircase railing, staring intently at the two of them, and Evan gave her a small smile.

They cried like that for a long time.

And then.

“Excuse me. Is anyone home?”

Someone knocked on the door.

“W-who is it?”

Jack, having composed himself from his grief, asked breathlessly.

Following Lorena’s gesture, Evan opened the door, revealing Hanson and Charlie. Several other villagers were following behind them. Hanson was holding a wine bottle, his head bowed. His face, hidden beneath his hat, was not clearly visible.

“…..We came to apologize. We’re sorry for doubting you.”