Chapter 70: S1. A Fish That Can Only Live in Muddy Waters (3)

[70] S1. A Fish That Can Only Live in Muddy Waters (3)

It was a rainy day.

Although the rain didn’t reach the underground world, he could tell. The humidity in the cell and the faint sound of raindrops hitting the ground told him as much.

Shafiq thought to himself that it was a gloomy day to be hoping for luck.

[Are you ready?]

Rem asked, a determined look on his face. But Shafiq couldn’t answer right away.

It wasn’t that he was suddenly scared of escaping. It’s just…

“Is this really necessary?”

[I told you, if I suddenly die, those mages will try to dissect me. My cause of death has to be clear.]

Rem drank a potion the color of sewage and then wrote. He placed Shafiq’s hand on his neck and firmly nodded his head.

A nod as if to say, “Do it.”

Shafiq frowned, and then, squeezing Rem’s neck, he said in a trembling voice,

“Alright, let’s do it.”

And he started to strangle Rem.

Rem’s face turned red, and his eyes bulged. His wrists pounded on Shafiq’s arm in a struggle.

But Shafiq didn’t stop.

Squeezing his eyes shut, he tightened his grip. He tried to ignore the sensation of Rem’s struggling breaths, the frantic beating of his pulse against his palm.

How much time passed like that?

Then a thud, the sound of a limp arm falling.

Shafiq opened his eyes slightly.

“Gah…!”

He instinctively threw Rem’s body away. But Rem, instead of getting angry, just collapsed onto the floor, his tongue lolling out.

“Is he… really dead…?”

Shafiq muttered to himself, the thought flitting through his mind.

But only for a moment, he realized that whether Rem was really dead or not, there was only one thing he had to do.

He caught his breath and then kicked the bars. Reaching his hand out, he shouted at the top of his lungs.

“Hey, tin cans! Get over here! I, I killed someone!!”

***

Shafiq wasn’t punished for killing Rem.

It was partly because of his status as a Special Test Subject, but also because of the nature of this place.

Everyone dies here eventually. And Rem wasn’t that valuable of a test subject.

Shafiq was even rewarded with a single cell.

Three weeks passed.

One of the biggest misconceptions that humans have about long-lived species is that their concept of time is different from that of humans.

That a single human day is just a fleeting moment to them.

Shafiq didn’t know about other elves, but he thought that didn’t apply to him.

Those three weeks… they were long.

No, it wasn’t just that they were long.

They felt longer than the 300 years he’d spent here.

Every second of every minute, he could feel his thoughts gnawing at his brain like ants.

*Did Rem really escape?*

*No, maybe he failed and died?*

*But even if he did succeed, would he come back?*

Questions that wouldn’t lead to any positive outcome.

And the most terrifying one was this:

*Could it be that I actually killed him back then? Maybe that was his plan all along.*

*He was too scared of killing himself,*

*So he tricked me with a fake plan and used my hands…*

Shafiq shook his head violently.

But he couldn’t shake off the dark thoughts.

They simply clung to him, feeding on his anxiety.

[Special Test Subject No. 37.]

Shafiq, startled, looked beyond the iron bars. A golem was standing there, its shadow stretching into his cell.

For a moment, he entertained a ridiculous fantasy,

that the golem was being controlled by Rem, and that it would bend the bars right now and get him out.

A hopeful, delusional fantasy.

[A new test subject will be placed in this cell tomorrow. This time, make sure he doesn’t die.]

However, the golem’s emotionless voice shattered his fantasy, then, as if it had finished what it had to say, it turned and walked away.

Shafiq stared at the empty cell with hollow eyes, and then, suddenly, he walked to the wall and slammed his head against it.

“That stupid bastard…”

Once hope is broken, you can finally see reality.

Whether he escaped from this hellhole or not, there’s no way that bastard would come back here. Not unless he’s a complete idiot.

Just why did I believe such a stupid lie? Why did I endure three weeks of anxiety, clinging onto hope?

The reason was obvious.

Shafiq raised his arm and looked at the 12 holes in it.

The holes, with that strange heat emanating from them, didn’t feel like they were even part of his body.

Because he was desperate.

Shafiq felt that his end was near. And even worse, it was a fate worse than death.

He was desperate, and because of that, he was scared.

And unconsciously, he’d fallen for that lie.

He chuckled hollowly to himself. It was a mixture of self-deprecation and fear.

Now, his end would come.

Those holes would eventually cover his entire body.

His mind would be kneaded by drugs until he could no longer think properly.

And then, he would no longer be an elf, but a monster…

[What are you doing?]

A voice that sounded as if metal were being scraped against metal.

Shafiq shuddered, turning his head toward the sound. Then he mumbled with a stupid expression.

“Rem…?”

He had strange devices attached to his hand and neck and a pair of strange goggles over his eyes, but it was definitely him.

The man whose neck he had strangled, Rem, was standing outside the magic circle, his upper body peeking in.

He was grinning as he spoke in that same grating voice,

“Aren’t you going to escape?”

***

When Shafiq stepped out of the magic circle, he was greeted by a forest at night.

Shafiq walked with a dazed expression and stared at the ground covered with fallen leaves.

The dry leaves crunched as he stepped on them, revealing soft soil beneath. A cool breeze brushed past his body.

Strange, Shafiq shuddered, thinking to himself. Then he turned to look back, dumbfounded.

The Gala Horn mountain range, towering high enough to block even the stars.

The place where a man-made hell was buried beneath.

Shafiq stared at it in the distance.

It was undeniable proof that he had escaped.

He was finally out.

But Shafiq couldn’t feel any joy.

[You should be more grateful. Teleporting this distance requires not just skill, but also a shitload of magic stones.]

Rem grumbled as he closed the dimensional gate. Coming to Shafiq’s side, he continued.

[I know you’re ecstatic about being out, but let’s move. I erased all traces, but just in case.]

But Shafiq didn’t move. He simply looked at him, his surroundings, with a confused expression.

“It’s strange.”

“What?”

“It’s fucking strange! This is so different from ‘inside’! What in the hell is this…”

It was then that a red light started to blink on the side of Shafiq’s neck.

Surprise filled both their faces, but Rem was the first to react.

“Shit! The tracker! [Colkb]!”

The signal light turned off, but the frustration on Rem’s face remained.

“They’ve already found us! Follow me!”

Rem sprinted towards the forest.

“…”

But Shafiq didn’t follow. He simply stared at Rem’s back, at the shadowy forest.

The ‘outside’ that Shafiq knew was the view from halfway up the mountain, and only when the sun was kind.

But the sight before him now was completely different.

The black tree trunks, melting into the darkness,

The wind, free and sharp,

The strange, musky stench rising from the forest,

and the sky, filled with dark clouds.

A scene completely different from the World Tree in his dreams.

It was all so strange,

and therefore, unsettling.

Fear comes from the unknown.

The elf who had lived underground for 300 years, felt fear for the first time.

He suddenly remembered the story of a fish that could only breathe in muddy waters.

Shafiq unconsciously took a step back.

No, he *tried* to.

[What the hell are you doing, you idiot?!]

“Oof-!”

Shafiq, clutching his head that was throbbing, grimaced.

“What the hell was that for, you lunatic?!”

[We’re about to die here, and you’re spacing out!]

Rem clutched Shafiq’s forearm with his two arms and started dragging him along.

“Huh? Huh?”

[I don’t know what you’re thinking, but just shut up and run!]

Shafiq’s body was dragged along. His legs instinctively started moving to keep himself from falling.

His bare feet kicked off the soft earth,

rough breaths filled his throat,

the wind, cold and rough, slapped at his face,

and his heart pounded as his body warmed up.

Shafiq suddenly tried to remember how long it had been since he last ran like this.

He couldn’t remember,

because that man-made hell didn’t have wind, nor the space to run.

He couldn’t even imagine something as exhilarating as this.

All he could remember was a faint memory, a memory so distant that it was barely recognizable,

a memory of running through a forest, alone, with a smile on his face.

Before long, he was running ahead of Rem. The anxiety he’d felt was long gone, melted into the night air.

His chest felt tight from all the running, but Shafiq burst out laughing. He could hear Rem panting behind him, but he ignored him.

He simply sprinted through the forest, roaring with laughter.

Like a fish swimming towards the clear, clean upper streams.

***

Rem collapsed to the ground, panting heavily.

[I think… we lost them… I wiped out our tracks…]

Rem spoke, his sentences incomplete. Shafiq looked at him and frowned.

“What? You’re worn out from just running that much? We didn’t even run that…”

[You crazy elf bastard…]

Rem said, and then, as if exhausted, he focused on catching his breath. Shafiq glanced at him and then at his surroundings.

Just then, the clouds parted, and the moon appeared.

Moonlight streamed down on the forest, like silk, blending with the darkness.

It was as if the scenery had been painted with mercury.

Once again, it was a sight completely different from ‘inside’, or the World Tree in his dreams.

But this time, it brought a sense of awe instead of unease.

*Beautiful*, Shafiq thought without realizing it.

And he realized that there was something he needed to say.

“Thank you.”

Rem lifted his head to look at Shafiq.

[For what]

“For getting me out.”

[We made a promise. You don’t have to thank me for…]

“And for dragging me this far, even though it was a shitty method.”

Shafiq looked down at his feet.

“Thanks to you, I found a reason why I shouldn’t go back to that place, no matter how bad things might get.”

[What’s that?]

“Because if I go back to that cramped little place, I won’t be able to run like this, right?”

His words held so much more meaning than what he had said.

The memories of joy from that time, which had surfaced as he’d run,

the relief of the pressure that had been crushing his soul,

the exhilaration of freedom,

and the countless things he could do in this unfamiliar world.

And, the firm resolve it had awakened.

Shafiq grinned and said,

“Thank you, I think I can finally go back to the World Tree, thanks to you.”

Rem looked at Shafiq and then chuckled. Then, standing up again, he said,

[Then, it’s time for us to go our separate ways.]

Shafiq’s face hardened slightly. Rem smiled sadly.

[The sooner we part ways, the better it is for confusing those who are after us.]

Suddenly, the anxiety he had thought had vanished returned.

Just now, Rem had guided his arm, but now he had to run alone.

Through this unfamiliar and alien world.

And based on what he had heard from other test subjects, this unfamiliar world wasn’t a friendly place.

And those mages from that lab would be coming after him relentlessly.

Could Shafiq really reach the world tree on his own in this situation?

“Right.”

But then he shook his head, pushing the anxiety down.

He had already received enough.

He couldn’t be indebted any further.

Shafiq simply held out his hand to Rem.

“I wish you luck in delivering your apology.”

Rem’s eyes widened, as if he’d never heard Shafiq say such a thing. But then he smiled and shook(?) Shafiq’s hand. (TL Note:… It’s Shafiq that’s shaking his hand, not the other way around but ok.)

[And I hope you reach the World Tree safely.]

They both let go at the same time.

And then, turning their backs to each other, they headed in different directions.

One step,

Two steps,

And then three.

Shafiq realized that there was something he still needed to say.

“Hey!”

Rem turned around with a puzzled expression. Shafiq said with a fierce look in his eyes.

“Live. As long as you can.”

Rem’s shoulder trembled, and Shafiq continued.

“I don’t know how deep your guilt is. And honestly, I can’t even imagine what terrible things you’ve done.”

[…]

“But I still want to tell you to live.”

Shafiq smirked.

“That’s the only way I’ll be able to repay my debt, right?”

And then, he finally turned away and disappeared into the forest.

Rem looked at his back and smiled sadly.

[Do you think that’s even possible…?]

Then he started walking as well.

***

Two years passed.

Many things happened to Shafiq.

Traveling from the Magic Tower in the west to the World Tree in the east was no easy task.

And the mages of the Magic Tower, not wanting to lose a valuable test subject, were relentlessly pursuing him.

He had been on the verge of death countless times, and had suffered immensely.

He’d wanted to give up so many times.

But, the ‘outside’ held not only suffering, but also joy.

Shafiq witnessed the grandeur of the castles in Titania, the capital,

and saw the vast expanse of the Great Plains.

He rode a dragon’s back and looked down at the world,

and heard stories from monks who never left their monasteries.

He witnessed the vastness and wonder of the ‘outside’.

It was a journey for Shafiq to adapt to the ‘outside’ and also a process for a young elf, who’d only known the cruelty of humans, to mature.

And at the end of that journey, he finally reached his destination.

The World Tree.

A giant tree that didn’t just pierce the sky, but covered it.

Shafiq looked at it with a nervous expression. Then, rolling up his sleeve, he looked at the 12 holes carved on his arm.

During his two-year journey, he had never met a single elf. All he had encountered were rumors about them.

*Elves are a pure race.*

*Elves value bloodlines.*

*They hate those who have been defiled,* and so on…

The wording might have been different, but the meaning was the same.

Elves love purity.

And he was someone who had been defiled,

someone who had become so far removed from being an elf, thanks to those countless experiments.

To begin with, he was a half-assed elf who had spent more time underground than on land.

Would the elves accept him?

Suddenly, he felt a surge of fear,

the same fear he’d felt that day, when he had first come out into the world,

a fear he had felt countless times during his journey.

He wanted to just stop here and turn back.

But Shafiq remembered that day.

Rem, who had grabbed his arm and pulled him along,

the run he had been forced to start,

and how he’d been running ahead of Rem before he knew it.

And the joy it had given him.

Shafiq now knew that it was called courage.

And he also knew that the world opens its doors only for those with courage.

Shafiq stepped forward before the world tree and shouted.

“World Tree! Your son has returned!”

Elves emerged amidst the world tree.

All armed with bows and swords, glaring at him with sharp eyes. Shafiq’s hands trembled, but he continued.

“Sh-Shafiq! A friend of the Ashwood Tribe!”

Still, there was no response.

He could almost see the bowstrings being pulled taut.

“I-I was kidnapped! I didn’t leave my homeland of my own free will!”

The elves’ emotionless expressions reminded him of the walls of ‘Hell’. Unease filled his throat, and his eyes trembled.

“My name is Shafiq Depa… Damn it, what was it again? It’s…”

“Shafiq de Fasitao Rodiner si Olaminea kun Dinar.”

Shafiq, holding his head, looked up.

An elf was walking out, pushing past the others.

An authoritative face,

extravagant attire,

and the elves, looking at her with awe in their eyes.

Shafiq instinctively knew that she was the leader of the World Tree. He bowed his head and forced the words out,

“Y-Yes!! That’s me!”

“…”

“I struggled with all my might to return to see the world tree again!”

“…”

“O-Of course, I know that my body has been defiled. I’m not ignorant of the fact that my very existence is an insult to our kind! But…”

“But…?”

Shafiq suddenly felt the words getting stuck in his throat. They were too heavy, clinging to emotions.

But he forced those words out, tears spilling from his eyes.

“I wanted to come back home…!”

Dreams are reflections of desire.

The dream of the World Tree, a dream he had every night for 300 years, was a manifestation of his longing.

He had simply treated it as a daydream, because it was something that couldn’t possibly be achieved.

Shafiq wept, his forehead pressed against the ground.

“So, please… just once… let me come home…!”

“Do you truly not recognize me, Shafiq?”

A tearful voice.

He looked up in bewilderment, and saw the elf, dressed in extravagant attire, already embracing him. She buried her face in his shoulder, tears streaming down her face.

His bewilderment deepened,

but a distant, faded memory surfaced.

A memory when he was so young he couldn’t even stand properly,

of someone carrying him, gently.

That warmth.

“Mo… ther…?”

Instead of answering, she simply cried louder, pulling him closer, tears pouring down her face.

At that moment, Shafiq heard something inside him crumble.

The wall he had built to survive in that hell, a hell where everything was dying.

The place where he had stored all his pain and loss.

…It was the place where he had killed the softest part of his heart.

The wall crumbled.

All the pain he’d been holding back came pouring out.

Shafiq couldn’t help it, and sobs escaped his lips. He clung to her, weeping bitterly.

So he could release the pain of the past,

and step into a happy future.

And so, the child of the World Tree, after 300 years, finally returned home.

***

This happened on the day Shafiq’s arms and legs had been broken.

“…They say that some fish can only live in muddy waters. Pathetic, isn’t it?”

Rem looked at Shafiq, wondering what kind of bullshit he was spouting, But Shafiq didn’t move. He just lay there with his back to him.

Having no other choice, Rem picked up a piece of charcoal with his foot and wrote on the wall.

[Hey.]

It was a sound that would have definitely been heard by an elf’s sensitive ears.

But Shafiq didn’t budge.

Giving up on trying to get his attention, Rem began preparing a potion. At the same time, he thought about how stupid Shafiq’s words were.

A fish that can only live in muddy waters?

There’s no way something like that exists.

Have you ever seen an aquarium filled with muddy water? Or at a marine museum?

There aren’t any fish that can *only* live in muddy waters.

There are only fish that can *also* live in muddy waters.

Of course, if their environment is suddenly changed, they might die from shock, or might act strangely because they’re confused.

But that’s simply because of the sudden change in environment.

They too can live in clean water.

The reason they live in muddy water is not because they *belong* there,

but rather, because they are strong enough to survive even in harsh environments.

***

Two years after returning home.

It was pure coincidence that Shafiq heard a rumor about a certain strange man.

A group of merchants who were passing by the world tree were talking about it.

That a man who had no hands, no eyes, no legs, and was even mute, was with a group called the Rose Rem mercenary group.

It wasn’t a coincidence that Shafiq thought of Rem the moment he heard that.

Well, that bastard did have legs back then, but that was four years ago. He probably lost them in another accident.

His life was a mess, after all.

In other words, it was finally Shafiq’s turn.

Of course, everyone in the World Tree tried to stop him,

His mother, the Queen,

the other elves who had come to love the returned prince,

and even the World Tree itself.

He still remembered the World Tree’s prophecy:

[If you follow that man, you will burn to death.]

But even so, Shafiq left.

It wasn’t because he wasn’t afraid of death. And it wasn’t because he missed traveling.

Of course, he was terrified of death, and he loved his life at the World Tree. He wanted to stay here for at least a thousand years.

But Shafiq knew that this life was a gift from Rem.

That day when he had escaped,

Rem had come back for him,

had grabbed his hand and pulled him along.

And because of that, Shafiq had been able to move forward.

Because of that, he had been able to return home.

Because of that, he had been given this happy life.

So it was only right for him to return the favor.

Shafiq stood at the border of the forest.

Looking back at the World Tree one last time, then forward again.

The vast ‘outside’

He didn’t know what awaited him there.

The only thing certain was death. The world, in the end, was unknown, as is life.

But Shafiq didn’t feel any fear.

He simply started to run,

just like someone had pulled him along that day.

The path will open for those with courage.

***

“I’m here to repay my debt, friend!”

I looked at the elf, who’d just burst through the mercenary guild’s door. His face was full of joy as he walked up to me, his chin held high.

“Rejoice at this reunion!”

I stared at him blankly, and then, turning to Feya, who was sitting next to me, I asked,

“Do you know who this idiot is?”

I guess that was the start of

Pointy Ears hating me.