Chapter 64: something about us

“Hoo…”

A short blue skirt and a pure white blouse tucked into it.

And a light brown trench coat covering her slender shoulders.

Walking around dressed like that, people around her whisper, “Is she a celebrity?” Even her unremarkable fashion becomes Milanese style because she is a special model.

She strolls through the airport, bustling with people like an ant colony, with a light step.

In one hand, she holds a pink suitcase; in the other, a sepia-colored passport.

From the wireless earbuds in her ears, Jay-Z’s “Empire State of Mind” plays. She’s never been to New York before.

She was alone in the crowd, but she didn’t feel too bad. In fact, she felt more refreshed than usual. Without the bodyguards who always surrounded her, Izana blended naturally into the large crowd.

-Text message!
“Dad, really… I’m already busy, and now you’re sending me a text message.”

When the notification suddenly sounded, she took her cell phone out of her coat pocket, and sure enough, there was a message from her father, written in an anxious tone.

He asked if she was really okay by herself, if she could make it home, and things like that. Izana glared at the cell phone screen and put it back in her pocket without replying.

In fact, there were only a few bodyguards left after the accident, but that wasn’t the only reason she was alone.

She had canceled her flight to Germany a few days ago, but then rebooked it.

She wanted to travel alone on her way back to her homeland. So she ignored her parents’ objections and headed to the airport alone.

Of course, Izan, who didn’t have a driver’s license, couldn’t drive a car, so she ended up taking public transportation to the airport for the first time in her life.

She swiped her card on a strangely shaped blue machine, pressed the bell just before getting off, swiped her card again… It would be a lie to say there was no discomfort from the unfamiliarity, but surprisingly, it wasn’t a bad feeling.

[The flight to Germany will depart in 30 minutes. Passengers with reservations, please arrive on time…]

Following the machine’s instructions, I found the check-in counter and dragged my wheeled suitcase along, my shiny blonde hair flowing behind me, naturally drawing attention.

I was already used to being the center of attention.

When I was a child, the girl sitting next to me shouted, “Wow, it’s a Barbie doll!” That was the epitome of dumb blonde.

Anyway, even the ignorant know what’s beautiful.

While maintaining her composure on the outside, Izana smiled slyly on the inside.

As she slightly curled her lips, her eyes melted. It was a scene she wanted to show to those fools who said beauty was relative.

“…Huh?”

After wandering around for a while, I arrived at the check-in counter.

I casually looked around, but there were no salespeople in sight. Is everything unmanned these days?

With a slightly stiff expression, I stood in front of the ticket machine.

I pressed the buttons as instructed, but something didn’t seem right.

I changed the language setting from Korean to German, but my head was still confused.

“Hey, hurry up…”

“Oh, really!”

“Yikes!”

I never thought of myself as unintelligent, but no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t figure it out.

Finally, I kicked the machine in frustration, and it flinched behind me. Who cares?

It’s not that I’m stupid; it’s this machine, or the person who made it, who’s an idiot.

I muttered to myself and looked at the watch on my wrist.

“…This is ridiculous.”

Twenty minutes before departure.

Considering the time it takes to go through the gate, it’s pretty tight.

I left home early in the morning, expecting this, but since everything I did on the way here was new to me, I ended up being late.

Normally, Black Bear or the other bodyguards would have taken care of everything, but that idiot Black Bear still hasn’t been discharged from the hospital.

What the hell is going on? I vent my frustration on an innocent person, but then I feel downright miserable.

Am I really such an incompetent person that I can’t even do this one thing on my own?

My shoulders slump, and at the same time, my energy drains away.

Still, time keeps ticking away, and as I stand there feeling helpless, a voice comes from behind me at just the right moment, like a scene from a drama.

“Need some help?”

The moment that voice pierced my ears, my heart stopped. Not figuratively, but literally.

“Step aside. I’ll do it.”

“Wait, just a moment!”

Before I could say a word, the doll stepped forward.

Her smooth, slender index finger pressed the button on the ticket machine without hesitation.

She didn’t seem very familiar with this either, but at least she was much more skilled than Izana.

Soon, she held a ticket in her hand.

Suppressing the sudden surge of joy, Izana stiffened her expression.

“…Why did you follow me?”

“Why? Because I wanted to say goodbye. The security guard with the eye patch told me you were leaving.”

“Who needs that…!”

As soon as she shouted that, tears welled up in her eyes.

She clutched her chest tightly, but her heart continued to tremble.

Her long hair, her lips like light cherries, her clear eyes, her white, slender face—everything was just as she had imagined in her dreams.

She was so happy to see her, but she couldn’t show it.

She was so happy, but she couldn’t be happy.

“I didn’t want to see you, Sia.”

“I know. Of course you wouldn’t. But I wanted to at least say goodbye.”

“There’s no need for that. I told you I never wanted to see your face again. So why…”

She looked at Izana with a pitiful expression.

The heart of a girl who wants to show only her best side to the one she loves. Even though it was a relationship that couldn’t continue, she didn’t want to show him her distorted face.

She didn’t want to show him her face drenched in tears.

So she tried her best to hold back the tears, but they kept welling up. The beautiful face she had seen a few days ago was now blurred.

“Kuh, hmph, hmph, don’t look at me.”

“Izana.”

I tried to cover my tear-stained face with both hands, but I couldn’t hide my voice, which had become hoarse.

“Go, go… Go away…!”

I wanted to kidnap her right now and make her mine. I wanted to kill that damn guy who stole her heart.

I wanted to kill him. If only it were that simple, if only it were that simple, the dark desires everyone so easily speaks of.

But that’s not right. No matter how much I love her, she’s the first person I’ve ever loved, I can’t cause her such pain.

“I was finally trying to forget, I was finally trying not to think about it anymore, why did you have to show up again!”

Izana, no, Isaka, isn’t exactly a good person. In fact, he was sometimes endlessly cruel, but for some reason, he couldn’t act badly in front of the person he loved.

Call me a foolish fool. Call me a sucker. But I can’t forgive you for calling me a sucker.

Ah, even though I was cruelly rejected, I still love her madly. I’m stuck in the swamp that is her.

I’m stuck in the mud, with only my nostrils poking out. My nose is the only part of me sticking out of the mud.

I love her so much that I can’t escape, and every time I see her standing there, my heart grows fonder. I try to refuse to even look at her face, but the voice that comes out of my mouth is just pitiful.

A voice trembling like sobbing. Like a child who has had their toy taken away.

In the end, unable to do this or that, I am simply buried in my own darkness, when suddenly a soft warmth envelops my head.

This sensation feels familiar, like the scent I once inhaled deeply on a soft mattress.

“Sniff, sniff…”

“I’m sorry.”

The voice filled with guilt is unbearable. What I really want to hear is not “I’m sorry,” but “I love you.”

I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. No matter how many times I say it, this love that won’t fade away is truly unbearable.

Why did I meet such a person and end up in this mess? What a foolish woman. Unable to shake off the warmth of her embrace,

I remain in her arms for a long time.

[The flight to Germany will depart in 10 minutes. Passengers with reservations, please be on time…]

“…Excuse me. It’s almost time for the plane to take off.”

“Oh, I’m sorry. Well… take care, Izana.”

After a moment, she breaks free from her embrace, oblivious to the announcement. The spring that had finally arrived
quickly turns back into winter.

As she falls, a guilty gaze follows her face. How wonderful it would have been if the emotion in those eyes had been love.

A futile hope.

With a bitter smile, Izana turned her back.

And she finally let go of the last bit of lingering regret.

“Isaka.”

“Hm?”

She spoke to her without turning her head. It was a harsh way to say goodbye, but if she saw his face again, the resolve she had finally mustered might melt away.

The moment she relaxed, she quickly turned back and gripped her stiff neck.

“Please call me Isaka. I’ve been hiding it until now, but that’s my real name.”

“…Goodbye, Isaka. I hope you’ll be happy there.”

“…I guess the name Izana is better after all. Well, goodbye.”

This is the end. Waving my hand lightly, I say goodbye lightly.

Now, truly, goodbye.