Love, Fate, Lies

Washing, being washed, washing, being washed.

The high-pressure shower soaked us both thoroughly, and we explored each other frantically, rubbing our bodies together over the white soap bubbles that had been scrubbed up.

When we made love, I felt pain from the hard bathtub floor, and her cunnilingus, with her head buried between my legs, was a bit embarrassing and uncomfortable.

Although the bathtub was wide enough for both of us to fit, there wasn’t enough room to spread our legs wide, and even leaning against the bathtub backrest didn’t make much difference to the pain in my tailbone.

Practically, since neither of us was familiar with sex between women, there were several clumsy points. When something awkward happened during the long shower, we looked at each other and laughed. It was different from my relationship with Zhou Lizhi. Bri said to me:

“I love you.”

“Ahaha…”

“I love you, I love you, I love you.”

I didn’t know how to respond. I knew it was polite to answer with the same words, but a sharp feeling of rejection seemed to gag my mouth.

“I’m not asking you to answer with the same words in the first place. But I love you. Just understand. Just understand that it’s the truth, Eun-young.”

If it were a mission, I would simply answer that I love her too. But it’s not like that. I did inquire about the mission related to seducing Churchill to the superiors… but honestly, I’m not sure if Rebecca Katerfeld is really communicating with CIA headquarters, and even if I trust her, no answer has come yet.

In other words, is whispering love to her now unrelated to the mission?

When Mayumi was executed, Jefferson said to me:

‘She was never yours to begin with. Your only mistake was loving her.’

I didn’t need to feel love for Zhou Lizhi. Her seduction was part of the mission, and since pleasure doesn’t necessarily accompany love, I could mix bodies with her lightly and enjoyably. At this moment, I don’t know what I’m doing either.

Is it okay for me… to tell her I love her? Is it okay for someone like me to voluntarily love someone again?

Among the people I’ve loved, is there anyone who hasn’t died or been seriously hurt? In this trash-like era and world, is it just natural that all the humans I’ve loved die?

“Poor thing.”

Churchill kissed me and swayed her hips. Her large breasts swayed repeatedly in front of my eyes. Our genitals were touching each other, and with each rub between our legs, I couldn’t tell if the moist feeling was from the shower water or the bodily fluids we had emitted.

“Superhumans are people born with tragic fates. Each of those many people ends up with their own story. Eun-young, what do you think about that story?”

“What story?”

“It’s a famous story that after awakening as a superhuman, a person’s personality becomes unique and somewhat strange, isn’t it? Even if it’s just a general theory, it’s such a grand proposition that most ordinary people accept, right?”

“I believed that saying originally. But coming to this school made me believe it more. Just a moment, my waist…”

“Ah, were you down there for too long? Want to come up?”

“I will, thank you.”

I laid Churchill on the bathtub floor and started fingering between her legs. Churchill, feeling every movement of my fingers and trembling, continued the story she wanted to tell.

“Many people, huk, say… nnng… yes, there… Does awakening change a person’s personality, or do people who are constitutionally… peculiar awaken more easily aaaaah!”

I pulled my hand out of her vagina and looked up at the bathroom ceiling. I said:

“I believe that people who were unique from the start, before they had abilities, awaken more easily. I saw various cases at university, but there weren’t many cases of dramatic personality changes before and after awakening. Of course, there are minor changes due to awakening, but usually, they were people who had something extraordinary about them from the start, you could say.”

“Yes, I think so too.”

Churchill nodded, breathing heavily.

She raised her body and kissed my forehead.

“But I believe it’s not just a matter of tragic personality, but of tragic soul.”

“You sound like Rebecca Katerfeld…”

“No, it’s not about psychic abilities. Mediums and such, it’s all in the realm of science in the end. Until a few decades ago, the soul wasn’t science, but thanks to the existence of superpowers, even mediums have clearly entered the realm of science.”

“There will still be people who don’t recognize that as science.”

Our legs crossed and overlapped again. I was already rubbing my crotch against the flesh of her thigh. Churchill’s hands were reaching for my breasts.

“Still, that’s science. And I’m talking about something a little different from science. I mean fatalism. Being born with a certain fate. Being born with a very unfortunate, cursed fate. Eun-young, in your case, it could be wanderlust, or the misfortune of hurting those you love around you. You feel it yourself, don’t you?”

“…If it’s true, it’s the worst misfortune.”

“But it’s okay. Fuck it.”

“Is it that easy?”

“If even the right to love is taken away, it’s the world that took away that right that’s fucked up, not you being a bad woman for not resisting love. And, you’ve come to the realm of superhumans. You’ve come to the world of superhumans and are mixing bodies with them. What if what I’m saying is true?”

“Huhu…”

I laughed lightly.

“My unfortunate and tragic fate might end up competing with someone else’s fate.”

“My fate is full of great luck. I was born into a good family, never experienced proper failure, gained a very powerful ability, and have parents and siblings who only scold me but don’t punish me severely no matter how rude I am. There’s no end to listing other things, anyway, I’m a woman born with luck.”

“Hmm… Actually, looking at you, you do seem like a young lady who grew up without knowing failure, not knowing much about the world.”

“Right?”

“When such people encounter life’s ups and downs, they tend to break down quite badly…”

“Want to try?”

Churchill said provocatively, ignoring my words. Her wet, drooping hair overlapped with her very seductive speech.

“Do you want to experiment to see which is stronger, your tragic misfortune or the luck I was born with?”

“…It could be interesting. I don’t fully believe in fatalism, but I don’t completely reject it either. Knowing that there are supernatural forces in the world that 20th-century scientists couldn’t uncover at all, there’s no reason to reject fate and destiny either.”

“If you want to experiment, you have to love me too.”

Her words were right. But I still hesitated.

“I’m not asking you to answer now. And that sophistry I just said, it’s true that it was sophistry to draw out that lie of love from you. But wasn’t it somewhat plausible? Of course, you might be in a state where it’s difficult to love someone else in the first place, or at least difficult to make such a decision…”

I stopped her mouth with my lips. Churchill seemed surprised, opening her eyes wide and leaning her head back, hitting the bathroom wall with a thud.

“Ouch…”

“Are you okay?”

“Mm, I’m fine. Sorry. We’ve kissed more than dozens of times, but I showed a strange blunder.”

“Have we kissed dozens of times… Well, actually, I was bothered by what you said. That word ‘love’, unless I truly feel it and can’t say it falsely, I can’t just spit it out as a lie when it’s not sincere. I’m bothered by you calling it a lie. It’s like you’re asserting that even if I whisper real love, it would just be a lie.”

“…”

“I love you, Bri. Even though I can’t say I only look at you, I clearly love you, Bri. Even though I don’t know why I love you, yes, I’ll say it. That I love you. That I… am in love with you.”

I said it. Impulsively, but I said it. Briar Churchill grinned in front of me and rubbed the back of her head.

“I thought so.”

“…What?”

“I thought if I dismissed your sincerity as a lie, you’d get angry and say it like that. It seems we’ve been using the shower water for too long, shall we get out now?”

“…You mean go to the bed?”

“The same bed.”

“We think alike. We still have to go to school tomorrow, but the night is still long.”

We both stood up from the bathtub, embracing each other naked. But that didn’t mean the night was over.