Chapter 60: At the End of Despair (2)

[60] 9. At the End of Despair (2)

Clara looked no different from when I had last seen her.

In other words, her wounds hadn’t healed.

Her left eye was covered with a white eye patch,

and her right wrist was adorned with a prosthetic hand made of steel.

Proof that she was still ridden with guilt.

But, there was no longer that shadow hanging over her face,

a sign that she was recovering, bit by bit.

Feeling the corners of my lips curl up, I watched her enter the building.

She looked around as she stepped inside.

“So, this place is really…”

Our men, who are about a million light-years away from cleanliness.

Wooden planks stained with blood and vomit.

A spider, having paid its rent it seems, had proudly spun a web in the corner of the ceiling.

Clara grimaced.

“Shabby. I don’t know what kind of building this originally was, but you can clearly see it’s been forcefully converted…”

“I designed it.”

“What I meant was that it’s a very clever design. You can tell that it prioritizes efficiency…”

Clara hurriedly corrected herself, flustered, and I couldn’t help but burst out laughing.

“Seriously, Clara?”

*Just act like you always do,* I added with a grin.

Clara gave me a look of resignation, and then, finally, she became the girl I once knew.

“This place is horrible, Rem.”

Arrogant, rude, self-centered.

Frowning, she said sharply,

“Just how did you even come up with the idea to renovate a kitchen into an office? The layout is a mess. To think that your workspace is inside your drinking space.”

“Well, what’s wrong with that? It’s nice to be able to drink while working.”

“Are you serious? And why are those… *things* the only decorations? I always knew that you had a twisted sense of aesthetics back then, but…”

Shaking her head as if she had a headache, Clara continued.

I burst into laughter again, seeing that. I knew it wasn’t the time or place, but I couldn’t help myself.

It really…

It’s been a really long time.

Perhaps Clara felt the same way.

Her frown slowly faded.

Then, after a moment,

“…I really missed you, Rem.”

She said shyly, reaching for my sleeve.

I smiled, taking her hand with the hand she’d given me.

“Yeah, me too.”

It seems that warmth is contagious.

As Clara’s face flushed, I could feel the heat rising from the nape of my neck as well.

But it wasn’t an unpleasant feeling.

Something soft and fuzzy, tickling my heart.

But of course, there were those who couldn’t help but ruin the mood.

“Bald human, I feel like throwing up looking at that…”

“Shut the fuck up, Pointy Ears. I’m trying my best not to, as well.”

Those bastards…

I glared at Clevens and Pointy Ears. But there was no way they would care.

Instead, they started to make exaggerated gagging sounds, mocking me.

On top of that, they even dragged in an uninvolved person.

“What’s all the commotion about?”

A voice, lightly tinged with thorns.

Soon, a pair of slender legs walked down the stairs.

And then…

“Is something wrong… Huh?”

“….”

The Captain’s sunset-red eyes met Clara’s blood-colored eyes

Silence descended.

It wasn’t a simple silence, but a silence where it felt as if several bundles of thread were pulled taut in the air.

I could sense the wariness from Clara’s hand, which was holding mine tightly. I could guess why.

Clara knew I was staying with the mercenary group because of the Captain.

On the other hand, the Captain’s expression was unchanged, as if it was no big deal. She just calmly descended the stairs.

The invisible threads in the air stretched even tighter.

A feeling as if sparks are flowing from Clara’s and the Captain’s eyes.

And like all standoffs, it didn’t last long.

When she reached the bottom of the stairs, the captain smiled broadly.

“Well, isn’t this our dear Vice-Captain’s lover?”

“L-Lover…?”

Rarely did I see such a baffled expression on Clara’s face. She let go of my hand and stared at the Captain with a shocked look.

“J-Just how did you…”

“I’ve always been good at listening to other people’s stories.”

Ignoring her, the Captain grinned widely and took Clara’s hand.

“I’m so grateful that you’re with our dimwitted Vice-Captain.”

“Y-Yes…?”

“And I know this is shameless of me to ask, but please, take good care of him.”

The Captain squeezed Clara’s hand. Then, the surprise on Clara’s face vanished.

“I’ll take good care of him, of course.”

The Captain smiled, a smile as bright as a blooming flower.

But her knuckles were white from how tightly she was gripping Clara’s hand.

At that moment, Clara let out a sigh, the confusion gone from her face. Smiling faintly, she returned the grip.

“Of course. I’ll make sure he’s happy.”

A strange light appeared in the Captain’s eyes.

The same light also appeared in Clara’s eyes.

But only for a moment.

“I apologize. It seems I’ve taken up too much of your time,”

The Captain let go of her hand. Scratching her head awkwardly, she added,

“I’ll take my leave now. Please, enjoy yourselves.”

Then, after a quick glance in my direction, she went back up the stairs, as if none of this was ever a big deal.

But I’m not that fucking dense.

I felt that something had been exchanged between the Captain and Clara. My instincts told me as much.

“…”

…And most of all, right after that, Clara was now glaring at me.

“…What?”

“It’s nothing.”

She frowned, lowering her head. Mumbling something gibberish like, “Should I allow it?” and “There’s always a risk to a monopoly…” she rested her chin on her hand.

Well, they weren’t exactly nonsensical.

I could sort of guess what she was thinking.

And, without a doubt, her worries were completely pointless.

The feelings the Captain has toward me are not romantic in the slightest. Feya, too, feels the same.

It’s just that they owe me their lives.

After all, I had given up my life for them.

Regardless of how I felt about it, they…

*Poke, poke*.

A pointy sensation in my side.

Turning, I saw Clara staring at me with a disgruntled look on her face.

“Are you going to just ignore me and get lost in your thoughts?”

My heart stung. Rubbing my head awkwardly, I smiled and said,

“I’m sorry, there’s something I was thinking about. It’s just…”

“If you’re really sorry…”

Clara looked at me with a bold gaze, a strange anticipation in her eyes.

“Play with me.”

***

I’ll say it again, Essier is a characterless city.

A city that, except for its harsh winters, isn’t that different from any other frontier town.

There’s nothing to see, and nowhere decent to take a break.

But then why… why was Clara, who was walking beside me, smiling?

The setting sun painted the corner of her lips with short shadows and dyed her silver hair red.

“Are you enjoying it that much?”

The words escaped my lips without thought.

Clara, as if demanding an explanation, looked up at me.

Words, once spoken, can’t be taken back.

Rubbing the back of my neck, I continued,

“Well, we’ve just been walking. There isn’t even anything to see in this…”

It wasn’t an attempt at false modesty, but a simple statement of fact.

Since Clara asked me to play with her, all we did for the past hour was walk around the streets of this city.

This city that didn’t even have anything special.

*Shouldn’t I be doing something more?*

*Shouldn’t I be entertaining her more?*

…A feeling of anxiety, stemming from those thoughts, gripped my heart.

“Rem, do you know?”

I turned at her voice. Clara, with a soft smile, looked across the street.

“…This is the first time we’ve ever walked side-by-side like this. Just the two of us, taking it slow.”

It was only after she had said that, that I realized it was true.

It was, in a way, to be expected.

Because we never left the Crystal Palace back then.

It was our own small world, and also our prison.

And I hadn’t minded that. Because I, a handless cripple, was able to be by her side…

“I’ve always wanted to do this.”

But Clara seemed to have felt differently.

“To hold hands with Rem, walk the streets, watch the sun set, grab some street food along the way…”

Her red eyes seemed to become clearer.

“Just like… in those novels.”

Clara, looking at me with those red eyes, smiled, the corners of her eyes crinkling.

“So how could I not like it?”

*After 13 years, my wish had finally come true.*

Sticking out her tongue and blushing, she smiled faintly.

…Looks like warmth really is contagious.

Feeling my face burning, I unconsciously turned my head away, avoiding her gaze.

“What is it, Rem? Are you avoiding my eyes because you’re embarrassed?”

But Clara was, and still is, a mischievous girl.

Her playful voice followed, and I could feel the heat in my face intensify.

And I thought… I couldn’t just let myself be teased like this.

“Here.”

I held out my right hand, the one made of flesh and bone.

Bewilderment appeared on Clara’s face. I could feel my earlobe burning and said,

“Wasn’t holding hands and walking together one of your wishes?”

Clara’s eyes widened.

Her mouth opened as if to say something,

but then, her lips curved into a crescent moon.

She stepped closer to my left side.

“I prefer this hand.”

Her right hand, made of steel,

interlocked with my left hand, which was made of bronze.

I looked down at her in bewilderment, and she smiled brightly, saying,

“Proof. Proof of how we both struggled to get here.”

Her words brought back a flood of memories:

The dungeon where my eyes were gouged out,

the streets I had to stumble through, blind,

her, who avoided me, and then approached, only to run away again,

her, struggling while trapped in a prison cell,

and the heavy snow falling on the day we parted ways.

I looked at Clara.

Words spilled out effortlessly.

“…Thank you.”

Clara’s eyes trembled. I smiled faintly.

“For choosing to come here.”

At that moment, I saw the setting sun seep into her eyes. It filled them and then slightly peeked out from their corners.

But she didn’t let it spill.

“I’m the one who should be saying that.”

She wiped her eyes with her handkerchief, then said with a bright smile.

“I love you.”

Then, interlacing all her fingers with mine, she added,

“Very, very much.”

It’s funny.

Our hands were both made of cold metal,

Warmth couldn’t possibly flow through them,

I don’t even remember including such a function.

So then why… Why did my intertwined hand feel warm?

The red light of the setting sun gently painted our metal hands.

***

Night came faster than I expected,

even though it was the peak of summer.

With each memory we shared, the sun sank a little lower, even during those moments when the conversation stopped.

Time truly is relative.

Before I knew it, night had arrived, sprinkling stars across the sky.

The early summer night breeze was still warm, but I couldn’t be away from the mercenary group for too long.

I swallowed my regret and was about to suggest heading back, when…

“Shall we head back?”

I looked at Clara in surprise. I didn’t expect her to suggest it first.

But Clara, oblivious to my confusion, started walking, leaving me behind.

And then unease bloomed in my chest.

There were two reasons for this.

Firstly, the very fact that she was walking ahead.

As far as I knew, she’d never been to Essier. And besides, she wasn’t exactly known for her good memory, even as a child.

Yet, she was leading me with a confident stride.

And second, was the path she was leading me to.

To be precise, she was leading us *away* from the mercenary guild building.

My anxiety grew,

and when we finally stopped in front of the fanciest inn in Essier, it reached its peak.

“Hold on, Clara, this isn’t our…”

“Don’t worry, I’ve already informed Captain Rose.”

“What? What does that even me…”

“Let’s go in.”

She took hold of my arm and pulled me into the inn.

We didn’t have to go through the process of getting a room or paying.

The innkeeper, seeing Clara, just smiled and handed us a key.

It was then that I realized her coming here wasn’t just a spur-of-the-moment thing. The walk wasn’t either.

Everything was going according to her plan.

*Click-*

By the time I realized that, I was already inside the luxurious room.

*Ting-*

*Crunch-*

Clara locked the door, broke the key in half, and then crushed the bronze doorknob as if it were dough.

I reflexively turned my head and looked at the window.

But it was already boarded up with wooden planks. All other possible escape routes were also blocked.

“I’m sorry, Rem.”

Her voice, as if something inside her were bubbling over…

I instinctively flinched and turned around.

Two glowing red eyes in the darkness.

Their edges curved into crescent moons.

Then, the sound of slow approaching footsteps.

“But I’ve been holding back for nine months.”

Cold sweat trickled down my back.

I stumble backwards and opened my mouth.

“Hold on, Clara… If the Pope has a child…”

“You’re saying the bishops will object?”

The corners of her eyes curve even more.

“You mean, those cowardly geezers who tremble at my mere breath?”

*Thud-*

I felt my back hit the wall.

I reflexively turned my head to look…

…But a gentle, yet forceful hand turned my head back to face her.

Clara was so close that I could feel her breath. She placed a slender finger on my chest, a cheeky smile spreading across her face.

“It’s okay, Rem. This time, I’ll be gentle.”

And then she pressed her voluptuous body tightly against mine, suffocating my reason, and whispered into my ear.

Her voice, slightly lower than an ordinary woman’s, seeming to stick to the inside of my ear.

“Of course… if Rem want…”

My vision was gradually turning white.

“I can be rough too…”

But God truly is merciless.

*BAM-!*

The shattered door flew off and crashed against the wall.

My dazed eye and Clara’s murderous eyes landed on the spot where the door used to be.

But both Clara and I couldn’t help but be surprised when we saw who it was.

“Ms. Irene? What are you doing here…? Of course, I heard you joined the Rose Rem Mercenary Group, but…”

“This isn’t the time for that.”

Irene shook her head. She turned on the magical lamp, illuminating the room, and then came and handed me a newspaper.

“Read this, Oppa.”

Despite my confusion, I obediently took the newspaper… I raised my eyes to look at the headline.

And instantly, all my thoughts were bleached.

[Sage, the Tower Master of the Magic Tower, murdered! The culprit… her daughter?]

Something was wrong.