Chapter 59: Two Cracks
by fnovelpia
“What on earth do you think you’re doing?!”
Treasurer Brynden shouted at Vivian, his face red with fury.
This was not something one would expect to hear directed at the head of the household from one of their retainers, especially in the lord’s office.
It was a testament not only to Brynden’s overwhelming anger but also to the widespread disregard for Vivian among the retainers.
“Recruiting talent…! And from commoners, no less! Have you lost your mind? Do you intend to drag down the prestige of the Rondor family on purpose?!”
Despite his rudeness, Vivian remained unfazed.
Though she felt a twinge of fear, there was a strange sense of relief.
It was easier when they showed their true colors like this; it made their eventual removal less troubling.
“…Do not raise your voice.”
Vivian warned calmly.
But Treasurer Brynden paid no heed to the head’s warning.
“What exactly do you intend with this madness? Are you truly planning to let those of lowly birth set foot in this castle?”
“…It’s just a process of finding talent.”
Vivian replied.
“Talent…!”
Brynden threw the ledger he’d been holding onto the floor.
Thud!
The heavy, dull sound startled Vivian for a moment.
No matter how much she tried to hide it, her cowardly nature always flared up in response to loud noises.
“Do you think I don’t understand the meaning behind your actions?”
“…And what might that be?”
The older man, whose hair was streaked with white, glared at her with bloodshot eyes.
“You’re trying to push me out, aren’t you?”
“You’re trying to replace me—and the other retainers—with puppets who’ll dance to your tune, aren’t you?!”
“It’s just about finding talent. Why are you so convinced otherwise?”
“Stop pretending you don’t know! You’re tired of hearing uncomfortable truths from us, so you’re planning to purge us all and surround yourself with sycophants who’ll only whisper sweet lies into your ears. Do you think that will make things better?!”
“Moreover, Vivian, I was the one who taught you about economics! You learned from me! And yet now you betray me like this…! How is this right, as a human being?!”
Vivian watched Brynden, who was yelling at the top of his lungs, and then gracefully lowered her head.
Tremble, tremble…
Her hands, hidden beneath the desk, were shaking.
She was still afraid of adults when they raised their voices.
No matter how much she mentally prepared herself, it was clear she had a long way to go.
These moments reminded her that she could only fully grasp certain realities when she physically experienced them.
Predictions and reality never flowed perfectly in sync.
“…Our family will view this choice with great regret.”
Brynden warned.
Vivian considered his words briefly before murmuring softly.
“…Your family won’t have much to say. After all, you’re already married off.”
“…What did you just say?”
“Brynden, all I’m doing is seeking talent. Perhaps I’m even looking for someone who could assist you.”
Vivian explained, continuing with her composure intact.
Although she wanted to remove Brynden immediately, such drastic action required undeniable justification.
If she started removing retainers without cause, they might unite against her.
Instead of purging everyone at once, Vivian needed to create divisions among them, instilling the illusion that survival was possible if they avoided crossing her.
“I don’t see why my effort to find someone to support you should provoke such anger. You must know how dire the situation in Loctana is. Surely, all possible help is welcome?”
“They’ll only get in the way. I can handle this myself.”
“Hasn’t that time passed?”
Vivian retorted coldly, silencing Brynden at last.
“Brynden, if you were capable of bringing about meaningful change here… you should have done so already. Haven’t I given you enough time?”
“I need competent retainers. People who can revive Rondor. That’s my decision. If you respect me as the head of the household, stop speaking and leave.”
Brynden’s face turned red and then pale as he hung his head.
Picking up the ledger he had thrown, he left the room.
Thud.
“…Sigh.”
Once he was gone, Vivian let out a deep breath, releasing the tension she had held in.
The power struggle had begun in earnest.
Vivian was slowly building her faction, using the punishment unit as her foundation.
To win their loyalty, she had granted them permission to go out and had even paid them a modest wage.
The punishment unit soldiers, seeing this as Vivian’s generosity, couldn’t praise her enough.
Even those who had initially resisted pledging their loyalty to her were gradually coming around.
They knew that once they left Vivian’s side, there was no better life waiting for them elsewhere.
Their affection for her had grown simply by spending time with her.
Vivian frequently visited the punishment unit herself, which only strengthened their bond.
Meanwhile, Vergor and his surveillance unit were losing influence.
It remained unclear how Vivian intended to deal with them.
But given their history, it seemed unlikely they would become outright enemies.
In fact, it seemed possible even the surveillance unit might eventually join Vivian’s side.
***
I was patrolling the castle today, as usual.
Although calling it a “patrol” was just an excuse—I was really hoping to overhear something useful.
The punishment unit members, no longer confined to their quarters, were wandering freely throughout the castle.
They spoke more easily with the maids, kept a closer watch on the castle’s activities, and heightened the overall tension in the air.
Wink!
While walking, I caught Valon winking at me from a distance.
He had been enjoying his newfound freedom to the fullest lately.
Though I found it repulsive, I couldn’t help but smirk faintly.
After all, they were acting for Vivian’s safety.
‘Keep your eyes on everything.’
I had once gathered the punishment unit and told them this:
‘If you hear anything negative about Vivian, report it all.’
Some of them had questioned my order.
“Hey, Kailo. Why are you doing all this for Lady Vivian anyway?”
Even years later, I still didn’t have a clear answer to that question.
Once again, I gave them a half-hearted response.
‘…If she dies, I die too. They’ll find a way to make it my fault.’
The punishment unit didn’t bother to dig deeper into my feeble excuse.
I no longer obsessed over finding answers.
If I came to realize them someday, I’d take it as it came; if I didn’t, so be it.
For now, my goal was simply to live peacefully with Vivian.
“Kailo!”
At that moment, someone called my name.
I turned my head and saw Martin and Wallace, along with a few other friends, running toward me.
The urgency on their faces was unmistakable.
The moment they stopped in front of me, I asked,
“…Did something happen to Vivian?”
Martin shook his head.
It had been a long time since he had become shorter than me.
Martin’s voice, as he tried to catch his breath, carried a thin veneer of calmness.
Almost as if he were trying not to alarm me.
“…Listen, but don’t be surprised.”
“Don’t drag it out. That’s even more frustrating.”
But Martin hesitated, dragging it out as much as he could.
It was as though he was struggling to find the words.
It wasn’t just Martin.
I looked at Wallace and the others, wondering if they were having trouble speaking too, but none of them opened their mouths.
“…What is it?”
In the end, I urged them.
Martin answered reluctantly.
“A letter arrived.”
“…A letter?”
“…From your hometown.”
A white letter was good news.
A black letter was bad news.
It was a long-standing tradition of the Alan family.
***
-Thump.
I entered Vivian’s room without a word.
Even without looking up, she seemed to know it was me who had entered.
I glanced at the letter in her hand.
A black letter.
…They wouldn’t use black for just any bad news.
I could tell this news was more serious than I expected.
“…What does it say?”
I asked.
Vivian stared at the letter with unfocused eyes, as though gazing at something far away, and replied softly,
“…It’s nothing.”
Then, she set the letter down and pretended to busy herself with something else.
“…That’s a lie.”
I spoke to Vivian.
Her movements froze for a moment.
“…Don’t lie to me, Vivian.”
Even without the color of the letter, I could see through Vivian’s lies.
Three or four years wasn’t a particularly long time, but the intensity of spending every day together made it different.
We knew how each other had grown and changed, and I could tell when she was lying just by looking into her eyes.
When she didn’t respond, I walked over to her desk.
Before she could hide it, I grabbed the black letter.
Taking a letter from her weak hands wasn’t difficult.
-Snap!
I immediately unfolded the letter and read its contents.
…My father’s familiar handwriting appeared before me.
[To Vivian Rondor,
My wife, Shoshana Alan, has passed away.
Her death is a personal sorrow, but I understand that personal emotions cannot take precedence in the current situation.
I only ask that our eldest son be allowed to visit her grave just once.
Shoshana cared deeply for Kailo during her lifetime.
She loved him, cherished him, and worried about him.
This is her wish, one that I cannot ignore.
I know I am in no position to ask for favors.
But if you could allow the child the opportunity to visit his mother’s grave, even for a brief moment, I would never forget your kindness.
I pray for peace for your lands and your path ahead.
Jade Alan]
A heavy thud resonated in my chest.
The strength drained from my hands.
My mind froze, unable to string together coherent thoughts.
…Mother passed away?
Just a few days ago, she had appeared in my dreams, looking so lively.
My thoughts were paralyzed for a while.
I couldn’t grasp the meaning of her passing.
I had said goodbye to her when I was 14.
Now, I was 17.
In all that time, I hadn’t shown her any of my growth or changes.
She had always told me how much she wanted to see me grow.
I was still longing for her embrace.
I had wanted to proudly show her how well I had survived.
I wanted to tell her how I saved Vivian, how I defeated a dragon.
…Was all of that impossible now?
-Swoosh.
When I came to my senses, Vivian had moved from the desk to stand in front of me.
She held my hand gently.
A clear expression of worry surfaced on her face.
I must have looked quite the sight.
Seeing her like this made it clear.
But even with Vivian’s small words of comfort, I couldn’t control my feelings.
A sudden, impulsive suggestion escaped my lips.
“…Let me go.”
“…Kailo.”
“Let me go, Vivian. Let me go see my mother.”
For some reason, I can vividly picture my mother, who must have waited for me until the end.
It feels as though she won’t be able to rest peacefully unless I go.
No, more than anything, I want to confirm it with my own eyes.
There’s no way my mother left like this.
Vivian clenched her teeth and closed her eyes.
Then, as she slowly opened them again, she looked straight at me and asked firmly.
“If you go, will you come back to me?”
I couldn’t answer easily.
Not a single word left my mouth.
Vivian pressed me further.
“Answer me, Kailo. If I let you return home… will you come back to me?”
If there’s any reason for me to return, it’s only Vivian.
For the one person I care for, though I don’t even know why, I must come back.
But can I make that choice again after returning to the comfort of my homeland and the embrace of family?
“…I’ll come back.”
Setting aside my complicated thoughts, I gave her my answer.
“Liar…!”
But at that moment, Vivian’s face contorted deeply, and she spoke with a trembling voice.
“…Don’t lie to me, Kailo.”
Echoing my own words back at me, she clenched her teeth.
She clearly defined my feelings, ones I couldn’t even comprehend myself.
When she made her refusal clear, I tried once again to persuade her.
“I’ll come back.”
“No. You can’t go. I’ve made up my mind.”
“I’ll just see my mother and return…!”
“I said no!”
“…Vivian!”
“Do you understand how I feel now?”
Vivian shouted loudly, demanding an answer from me.
Her emotions had also grown intense.
Her unwavering determination not to let me go, coupled with anger directed at me, overflowed and reached me.
“…What?”
“When my mother passed away…! When I was only crying, what did you say to me? You told me it was because I was weak, didn’t you?”
“You said that back then. So why? Now that your mother has passed, you can’t live up to those words either?”
“Don’t be weak, Kailo. If you do, even the words you said back then… will just seem like empty boasts.”
I couldn’t respond at all.
I stood still, unable to move, as Vivian stepped closer.
She stood right between my feet, looking up at me.
With every word she spoke, a fragrance reminiscent of flowers wafted toward me.
“…Why? After all you’ve done for me… Do you feel wronged because I can’t repay you?”
Vivian’s voice was cold, but her eyes carried an indescribable depth of emotion.
Her expression revealed hatred, yet at the same time, it was filled with a precariousness, as though she might cry at any moment.
Was it pity she was showing me?
I couldn’t tell; her feelings were unreadable to me.
And yet, despite it all, she never shed a tear.
Perhaps because of our unspoken contest, she held back even then.
“I told you, didn’t I? If you expect something in return from me, then don’t protect me in the first place. You said it yourself—that you were doing this for your own satisfaction. So don’t… don’t expect goodwill from me now!”
Her voice seemed more driven by a desire to protect herself than to criticize me.
Just earlier today, I’d hoped we could get along without any trouble.
But with just one letter, everything flipped, and it felt like our original relationship was resurfacing.
Despite all the efforts we made to mend and disguise our grudge, this must be the truth of our bond.
Just as the past doesn’t change, this relationship won’t either.
Unknowingly, I raised both hands and softly held Vivian’s face, frowning.
My hands rested near her chin and neck.
If I applied pressure, I could easily strangle her.
But even in this moment, I neither wanted to nor could do such a thing.
Though I was furious enough to wish her pain, there was something strangely precious about her that made it impossible.
Vivian, aware of my anger, didn’t push my hands away.
She looked as though she was saying I could strangle her if I wanted to.
As if saying, if I truly wanted to leave, I’d have to kill her first.
“…Do it.”
Sure enough, she whispered.
“Anyway…”
Her piercing gaze bored into me.
Those cold eyes, as if damp with tears, paradoxically seemed to choke me instead.
“If I lose you, I’ll die too.”
Her words were brief, but they carried all her sincerity.
Without realizing it, I shut my eyes tightly.
“The bloodstorm has already begun in Rondor Castle. Even if you try to leave, I won’t allow it. I’m staking my life on this. Until this storm ends… you’re not going anywhere.”
Her cold, resolute voice carried a desperation beyond mere insistence.
That emotion made it hard for me to continue showing my anger.
Why did my mother have to leave at this very moment?
Why did she have to leave when this bloodstorm was beginning, just as Vivian said?
The thought that I’d never again feel her warmth or hear her laughter cut through me with unbearable pain.
But even I… could accept some of Vivian’s words.
How could she let go of a captive who might not return?
The fact that she’d die without me was probably true as well.
I gently stroked Vivian’s cheek with my thumb and leaned my forehead against hers.
Vivian didn’t avoid it.
“…You’re right.”
Suppressing my pain, I spoke.
“…I can’t let myself be weak.”
“…Kail—”
-Thud.
I released Vivian’s face and lightly pushed away the hand she had reached out to place on my chest.
For some reason, even that left her looking hurt.
I simply stood still, looking at her.
I waited, hoping to see her cry.
At that moment, I found myself wanting it without realizing.
“…Ugh.”
Vivian seemed to realize it too, frowning as she composed herself.
In the end, she didn’t shed a single tear.
I let out a deep sigh and turned away.
I stepped on the black letter lying on the ground as I walked away.
The moment the battle at Rondor Castle began, a small crack formed between us.
Perhaps that crack had always been there from the start.
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