Chapter 59 : Detective Maru

It keeps coming.

Even if I lower my head, even if I cover my ears. That horrible sound keeps coming.

“Gundam is talking Gundam.”

Ahhh!!!!!

“…What are you two, Maru and the junior, doing? It’s about time I can say it, right?”

“Ah, yes. You can speak now.”

The bald man, unable to watch any longer, split us apart, and with that, the endless dad joke pit came to an end.

Completely exhausted, I laid my body down to Bada, who was looking at me curiously.

Bada gently wrapped her tail around me and picked me up.

“Ugh… as expected, only Bada.”

“Hehe.”

Still silly, but with a warm voice, she chuckled softly.

I hugged the back of Bada’s neck tightly.

Hmm.

It’s soft.

“Alright, then let’s have Lulu explain this information.”

“…Why?”

“It’s bothersome.”

For a moment, the cold gleam in Lulu’s eyes was a bit unsettling, or was it just me?

She sighed lightly and picked up her phone with a gesture that seemed to say, “Well, of course,” making me smile a little.

“The name recorded in the hospital is ‘Irohagisilro.’”

“Hmm, quite a peculiar name. I should write it down.”

“…Huh?”

No, no, no.

That’s obviously a fake name. There’s no way anyone has a name like that.

How can a person’s name be ‘I don’t want to work’? Even if it’s a fake name, isn’t that a bit too casually made?

If that’s really the name, I’m General Purdias. Ahem.

It says, ‘It’s been a year since they joined, they’ve gotten along well with colleagues without major conflicts, and they suddenly disappeared today.’

“That’s quite a long time.”

So, this means they worked at the hospital for a year and then disappeared this morning?

Why? What for?

“You said that guy had horns on his head?”

“Yes.”

At first, I thought maybe he had been hit or had a lump, but when I looked closely, they were huge horns.

They were so sharp that if he headbutted someone, they’d probably die.

Speaking of horns, it makes me think—wouldn’t it be really uncomfortable to sleep with horns like that?

You can’t sleep on your stomach.

But I guess it would be convenient when peeling fruits. You can just knock it on your head like cracking an egg!

Also, if you attach snacks to the horns and walk around, you’d have emergency food, which is pretty great.

Recently, there have been reports of people with horns being spotted across the country. If it’s true that he had horns…

“…Something’s going on.”

“Exactly.”

Wait a minute.

Does that mean there are several strong people like that woman?

“Oh my god.”

This game really sucks. At least they should balance the power levels.

Sigh. I guess I’ll just pray that the others are surprisingly weak…

“This time, it was a nurse from the hospital, but there were also people who used to be company CEOs, and even mercenaries.”

“Yes? Is that even possible?”

…I’m curious about that too. How did they hide the horns, how did they make such an easy false identity, and why did they give it up so easily without getting caught?

Everything is a mystery.

It’s not magic, so how did they hide those big horns?

What’s the reason to go to such lengths to hide?

Come to think of it, that woman said she was looking for the Philosopher’s Stone or something.

“…Wait a minute, could it be?”

“Until now, I thought it was just a side effect caused by a rogue mercenary, but the fact that so many different people are experiencing the same side effect doesn’t make sense. I’ve already verified everything.”

“Commander of Zone E!”

I raised my hand from my seat.

It was a sign that I had something to say. I couldn’t interrupt the conversation between the commander and others.

It’s Maru. Do you have something to say? It’s fine to call me uncle.

“Is it possible that what I’m thinking is correct?”

I explained my deductions to the commander.

I stumbled a bit in the middle and made a mistake unintentionally, but fortunately, I finished speaking coherently.

“Hmm, so they are not human…”

“It’s an unbelievable theory, but there is a possibility.”

“Everything that’s happened so far lines up.”

Yes.

I don’t know how they hid the horns, but from the statement ‘humans,’ it’s clear they’re not human.

Of course, it’s not just because of this statement. I’m saying this because I felt it myself.

…What am I talking about? When that woman grabbed me, I couldn’t explain it in detail, but I felt an overwhelming sense of discomfort.

How should I say it? It was like looking at something trying to imitate a ‘human,’ like the uncanny valley.

If that’s the case, then the reason they did it is…

“Hmm, it makes sense now.”

Yes.

That woman was looking for the Philosopher’s Stone, right?

If we assume that the horned ones and that woman have the same goal, it’s easy to understand why they did what they did.

It’s obvious that they must have checked various places to find the location of the stone.

In that case, I can also guess why those who hid in various professions did so.

They probably needed a social position to gather information about the “human” world they were seeing for the first time and to move around easily.

But once they realized it wasn’t around, they probably discarded it.

I’m not sure why they revealed their identity and then vanished.

Maybe it was a sign of confidence. A challenge, like saying, “Try to stop me.”

“Then what exactly are those guys?”

“Uh, well… I think they might be human-like monsters.”

15 years of experience with crappy games tells me so.

In worlds where monsters run rampant, humanoid monsters are usually the strongest and the masterminds.

I don’t know why, but that’s usually the case. Apparently, that’s considered romantic or something.

“I’m not sure, though.”

“For now, everything Maru told us has been reported to the higher-ups. Thank you for your excellent deduction.”

“Ahem.”

At first, I wasn’t sure if I was right… but after thinking it over, it turned out that I was completely right.

I naturally placed my hand on my waist and puffed my chest out. Confidence was radiating.

Wow. At this point, shouldn’t I be a detective?

I should go by the name Detective Maru Holmes, with Watson by my side.

Nunu could play the tragic heroine.

The Commander would be perfect as the driver.

“Then, isn’t Maru in the most dangerous state right now?”

“…Hmm?”

As I was lost in these happy thoughts, I heard Lulu’s voice tremble slightly in my ear.

What? Why am I in danger?

Not understanding the meaning of the words, I just tilted my head. At that moment, the Commander seemed to understand and said, “Ah!” and stamped his palm.

Then, in a low voice, he murmured one word.

“I smelled it. I said.”

“Huh?”

What smell?

Wait a minute.

Ah.

“It’s the smell. I smelled it.”

“I smell it. The smell…”

“Hehe… so that’s what it was.”

A woman’s voice passed through my mind.

I also imagined the woman hurriedly turning around, saying she had finally found a clue.

“Of…”

Those who disguised themselves as corporate presidents or mercenaries, looking for information so seriously about the stone… they must have found a clue, whatever it is.

And that clue is me?

…Wait. Am I really in big trouble now?”

“…Indeed, thinking about those horned ones, I almost missed what was right in front of me. Well done, Lulu.”

“If you know, maybe give me more vacation time?”

“Well, I’m sorry, but I don’t think that’s possible.”

The bald man scratched the back of his head awkwardly and fiddled with his phone screen.

It looked like he was typing a message.

Despite only using one hand, he was pretty fast.

After a while of tapping on his phone, the bald man suddenly smiled widely at me.

His head shone just like his smile.

“Alright, things went well. Starting tomorrow, Maru’s command center will have bodyguards assigned to it. I’ll cover the costs.”

“…Was that even possible in such a short time?

Isn’t your influence… way too big…?

And I know security costs a ton, especially for labor. You’re covering all that?”

“Maru, Maru…”

“Yeah?”

As I was in awe of the immense influence, the Commander tapped my shoulder.

For a moment, I flinched, thinking he was going to make another dad joke, but looking at his face, it didn’t seem like it.

Thank goodness.

“How about it? Our senior is amazing, right? Even though he looks like that, they call him the father of mercenaries.”

“Eh, what? Father?”

What is that about?

…Wait, could it be?

Did he actually create all those mercenaries? Is that why they’re like bio-weapons or something?

“Ah, Maru, you have such a silly expression on your face!”

“Hehe, I don’t know what you’re thinking, but it’s just a title, so don’t worry about it. Just know that he’s an impressive person.”

“…Yeah, I guess so.

Honestly, it didn’t make sense. Bio-weapons or whatever.

Maybe I’ve been thinking too much today.

My mind is going crazy.

Let’s talk about the rest at the command center. We’ve been outside for too long.”

“Yeah…”

Scrape.

Just as I was about to head back to the command center, I saw something in the corner of my vision.

It was a tiny white mass, almost like a small ball of honey.

…It was my fool’s hair.