Chapter 58 : This is hell

Kkang, kka-kang! Kkang! Kkang! Kkang!

“Hey, hey, guys! I think I’m going to bleed from my ears, so please stop! Stop it!”

“Ah.”

Thus, the sudden performance of the instruments was finally calmed down by the officer on the tree, who was the conductor.

The orc, unable to withstand the noise, had already collapsed on the ground, unconscious.

Ah, did I get too excited? How much did I bang?

“Uh, well… I came to rescue you, but can you explain what’s going on here?”

“Huh?”

Turning around in a daze, I saw a familiar bald man standing there.

Lulu was also there, looking shocked.

…To catch such a huge monster in that way. Life really is full of surprises.”

Lulu took out a knife from her scabbard on her waist and spoke.

“It’s a bit unfair.”

But still, it was a fairly effective strategy. It was a bit embarrassing, but as long as no one got hurt, it was fine.

“But it’s clumsy. Would you mind looking back once?”

“…Huh?”

Koooh!

This can’t be.

The orc, who I thought was unconscious, was now standing right behind us, looking fierce, ready to swing a club at any moment.

Startled, we quickly tried to lower our shields to make noise, but…

“Make sure to finish it off properly.”

…Lulu’s movements were much faster.

Swish, the sound of cutting through ingredients with a kitchen knife echoed, and thin lines appeared on the club.

Those were the traces of a blade drawn in an instant.

Soon, the huge club shattered into pieces and scattered.

Koooh?!

When the orc’s weapon was shattered so easily, it seemed dumbfounded, letting out a foolish sound.

But the orc’s cry quickly faded due to the newly formed lines.

And then, with a thud, the orc fell to the ground.

I couldn’t believe it. The orc who was causing such a ruckus just now had such a pitiful end, leaving me speechless.

“Maru-ya, it’s been a while.”

Eek, that startled me. “Ah, hello…?”

While I was gaping at the strange scene of a giant orc falling unconscious in a second, Lulu had appeared beside me, and I almost sat down in shock.

Luckily, Nunu, who was behind me, caught me, so I didn’t get hurt.

“Still soft, huh?”

“Ah, what are you doing?!”

Before I even realized it, Lulu was squeezing my cheek. No, I didn’t feel her touch, how did she do that?

I think this side is softer.

“Hmm, I see.”

Somehow, Nunu, who was supporting me earlier, had started naturally touching my palm.

It was my first time feeling someone touch my palm.

It tickled more than I expected, and I couldn’t help but laugh.

“I also want to touch… no, it’s been a while. Junior. And Maru too.”

“I’m here too!”

“Right, Bada, it’s been a while too.”

The bald man’s head was still smooth. So smooth that light reflected off it, almost blinding me.

I guess it was the same for Linne, who was beside him, as she frowned at the bald man.

“What, who’s this scary friend here?”

“Ah.”

…It seems the bald man took that in a different way.

Anyway, it’s been a while, right? I shook hands with the bald man and Lulu, both of whom I hadn’t seen in a while.

I didn’t really want to, but the bald man said you have to shake hands when meeting someone after a long time.

“Oh… it’s still soft.”

“H?”

It seemed like he was making up something to hide his true feelings, but since they came to rescue us, I decided not to say anything.

Instead, if they do this again, I’ll do a tic-tac-toe on his forehead.

“Now, then, let’s hear why our junior sent out a rescue request.”

“Ah… well, that’s…”

After that, the bald man started his boring explanation.

He spoke exactly as it happened, neither exaggerating nor shortening anything, and it took a considerable amount of time just to explain.

During that time, I played around, drawing pictures on the ground with Bada. I also checked the orc, who was either unconscious or dead, lying next to me.

Surprisingly, the orc hadn’t moved a single finger until the story ended. Looks like it’s really dead.

Poor thing. Hopefully, it’ll be born better next time.

“…There are a lot of questions, but the one I’m most curious about is this.”

“Lulu, what is it?”

“The smell that came from Maru. What exactly did you smell to make you act like that… I was wondering.”

Oh, right. They were talking about how there’s a smell coming from me.

“Sniff sniff.”

“Maru, what’s going on?”

“I’m just sniffing.”

Just in case, I sniffed around, but there wasn’t any particular smell.

No, that’d be worse! It’d make me seem like I haven’t washed properly.

That’s just Dirty Maru.

I’m Clean Maru, who washes properly every day!

“I’ll sniff it. Hoo~”

“Eek?!”

…Nunu, do you really need to sniff that way?”

“Well, if I don’t do it like this… Hmm, like a bad woman did, maybe it wouldn’t come out? This is the best I can do.”

Nunu buried her face in the back of my head and took a deep breath.

…Ugh, it tickles. This feels weird.

“Hmm, I see… right.”

“Well, how is it?”

She seemed serious, so maybe she smelled something strange.

Could there really be a weird smell?

But I haven’t done anything… What if something went wrong?

“It smells like baby formula.”

“Ah, sister!”

Nunu, who had been serious just a moment ago, suddenly smiled widely, as if it was all a joke.

…I was the fool for expecting something else.

Well, let me try once….”

“Commander, if you do that, you might get caught, so stop.”

“Wh-why…”

The commander, who was sneakily trying to squeeze in unnoticed, was stopped by Nunu, who was beside him.

I also shook my head.

Judging by that unfair expression, it was clear that he was genuinely curious, but still, what’s not allowed is not allowed.

The picture looks weird, the picture.

The vibe between sister and mister is completely different.

Let’s put the matter of smell on hold for now and move on to the next agenda.

“That nurse I mentioned before. Could you look into her information?”

“Hmm… Normally, this wouldn’t be allowed… but since it’s an emergency, I have no choice. I’ve already reached out to some reliable people. They’re pretty capable, so we should hear back soon.”

Honestly, I thought he’d refuse. But the bald mister, who seemed to have a surprisingly wide network, agreed without hesitation.

“Hmm…”

Who was that woman?

Her movements were completely unpredictable, but she looked incredibly strong.

And I had never seen her face in any related communities or websites.

Who in the world was she?

And why was she at the hospital?

One question led to another.

— Ding ding ding! Good morning~ Ding ding ding!

“Oh, that was fast. As expected of them.”

“…You really are something else. What kind of ringtone is that?”

“Hehehe. It’s actually not that bad. Why don’t you try using it too, my junior? It really wakes you up!”

It would wake me up, alright. In a different way.

…How can he listen to that sound and not react?

But seriously, setting that horrific alarm sound—something that rivals the military wake-up trumpet—as his ringtone?

Just as he said, he’s definitely an eccentric person.

“I’ll take a quick look and tell you. Just wait a moment.”

“Okay.”

As he focused on his phone, his smooth bald head reflected the light and sparkled.

…That’s basically a flashbang.

Anyway, while waiting for the bald mister to open his mouth, the commander, who had been smiling cheerfully, suddenly stuck close to me.

Then, whispering in my ear, he said…

“Maru, don’t you think our senior is a bit peculiar too?”

“…Huh? Oh, uh, yeah.”

“He’s got a laid-back personality and isn’t particularly ‘rough’ anywhere. But, you know, he’s also missing ‘something.’”

…Uh, um… What’s up with him all of a sudden?

Looking at the commander suddenly cracking a terrible dad joke, I debated whether to react.

If I didn’t, he’d probably be disappointed.

So, in the end, I forced an awkward smile.

“Alright, there’s not as much information as I’d like, but this should be enough. Everyone, gather around.”

“Okay!”

Oh, did he already find the information? That was fast.

I stood up and moved toward the bald mister, but suddenly, the commander tapped me on the shoulder.

What now?

“Maru, Maru. Don’t you think our senior should wear a hat?”

“…Out of nowhere?”

Well, I guess his head is shining too much, so he should wear one…

But why bring this up now?

“A ‘mo’ (hair)-less senior should wear a ‘mo’-cap (hat).”

“Oh my…

Goodness.”

“Commander, what’s gotten into you all of a sudden?”

“Oh ho, don’t you get it? Who didn’t stop when I told them to?”

The commander had a mischievous smile on his face.

Ah, so this was revenge for making a fuss earlier.

…Life.

“Why me? The others did it too!”

“Maru, you were the ringleader. Did you really think I wouldn’t know?”

How did he know?

“This also includes payback for stepping on my foot at the mart on purpose, so just accept the justice of dad jokes.”

“N-no…!”

“When a duck falls, it goes ‘plop’ (‘deok’ in Korean).”

Ah, no.

“The wind blows in Bundang (‘Bundang’ sounds like ‘splitting wind’).”

This is… hell.

“Knock, knock. Smart. (Are you chicken?)”

“Kyaaaa!!!”