Chapter 58: The Third Downfall (8)

[58] 8. The Third Downfall (8)

There’s a certain damp smell that clings to things that are falling apart.

The pouch, full of magical tools, felt heavy on my shoulder. I swallowed the emotions welling up inside me and took a step forward.

Pressing down on my pounding heart, I spoke,

“I’d like to meet the suspect.”

The clerk, sitting behind the counter, looked at me with a bored expression.

“…Do you have the paperwork?”

“Yes, I do.”

I handed over the documents I had forged all night.

At the same time, taking advantage of the moment when the clerk’s gaze was drawn to the documents, I attached a magical tool under the counter.

It would cause a small explosion and release smoke.

Enough to buy me about ten minutes.

“What’s your relationship with him?”

“A… friend.”

I quickly straightened up.

The clerk gave me a strange look, but then handed me a visitor’s pass.

“Third room on the right.”

“Y-Yes…”

I took the pass, trying to act natural. Then, clutching my pounding heart, I walked down the hallway.

The third room on the right.

There, standing before the door, was a wizard with a tired look on his face.

I approached him and showed him the pass. He looked it over a few times, then mumbled in a weary voice,

“The visit is 10 minutes in total. I’ll be watching from the side the whole time.”

“Yes,” I mouthed silently.

It was because I felt that if I actually speak aloud, he’d hear the nervousness in my voice.

“Then, I’ll unlock it.”

With that, he dispelled the lock spell on the door.

And so, Rem, I met you again.

Your appearance, which I took in after a week, was grotesquely strange.

The most accurate description would be “a mummy tied to a chair.”

Your body was wrapped in bandages, restraint spells inscribed on them. A magic-nullifying gag was covering your mouth, and a grotesque array of devices sat on your head like a crown.

And above all, you looked terribly ill.

Mentally, not physically.

Your already thin frame now seemed to have nothing but bone. And the dark circles under your eyes looked like bruises.

The sight made my heart ache.

My resolve solidified.

“You can talk here. We didn’t block his hearing, so he can…!”

The mage’s eyes widened.

His gaze shifted to the needle I had embedded in his stomach.

He opened his mouth as if to say something,

but before he could even form a word, he collapsed.

“Haah… Haah…”

My breaths came out in ragged gasps. I nudged the mage with my foot,

but he didn’t move.

Just like Marianne.

I shook my head vigorously.

I hadn’t killed him; I just paralyzed him.

And right now, there was something more important.

I approached Rem.

Did he sense something? Rem’s shoulders trembled slightly.

I whispered into his ear.

“Rem, it’s me, Parsley.”

“…!”

He flinched, more violently than before.

I calmed my pounding heart and said,

“I-I’m here to rescue you. Just wait a bit; I’ll get you out of this.”

After meeting Mother, I had to make a choice:

Let Rem die,

or die with him.

However, no matter how much I thought about it, I couldn’t accept either of those options.

So I chose a third path:

Abandon everything and run away with him.

No, ‘chose’ isn’t the right word,

because it was the only path I could accept.

I continued, trying to release the gag on his mouth.

“I-I already prepared an escape route. There’s a teleportation magic circle in my room that’s connected to a city far to the west. So… Ugh…!”

Tears suddenly welled up, choking me. Trying hard to force them down, I continued.

“So… let’s run away. Th-The Magic Tower’s influence doesn’t reach there. So let’s escape there and live a quiet life.”

Frantically wiping away my tears that wouldn’t stop flowing, I tried to dispel the lock on his gag.

But no matter how much I wiped away the tears, tears kept flowing down my cheeks, blurring my vision.

…The truth was…

I knew that this was crazy.

I knew the odds of success were so low I couldn’t even guess.

I was so terrified of even thinking about it that my body trembled.

But even so, I couldn’t stop.

“Rem, please… just… live.”

Resting my head on his shoulder, I squeezed out the words.

“I-I… have no one left but you…!”

Marianne was dead.

And Mother… those years of pain were too long to suddenly believe in her.

Only Rem remained.

But he’s going to die.

Again, I had no other choice.

“I-I know we broke up…! But please… just this once… Together, let’s…!”

At that moment, I finally dispelled the lock on the gag.

*Thud-*

The gag fell to the ground with an empty sound,

revealing his dry, chapped lips.

I looked at him with pleading eyes, waiting for his answer.

“…Parsley, go back.”

But his reply wasn’t the one I’d been hoping for.

I desperately tried to reason with him.

“A-Are you doing this to get revenge on me? Is it because you were framed because of the love potion I made? Then, I-I’ll kneel down and beg right here. I-I just did it because I liked you! Because I really, really liked you…”

Rem smiled bitterly.

“Parsley, I wasn’t falsely accused.”

My mind went blank. Barely managing to speak, I asked,

“What… what do you…”

“How many people did they say died because of my human experiments in the news?”

Rem hung his head.

“17? 25? They probably didn’t find all 72 of them. I hid them pretty damn well.”

The sound of reality crumbling… It sounds like a soft, listless voice.

I simply stared at Rem, speechless, tears now streaming down his face.

“And, besides, I threw away the love potion you made as soon as I found it. How did I find it? How could I not have? That was the potion I’d made countless times.”

Tears slid down his cheeks.

“It made things so much easier when I fed it to the beggars.”

“Stop lying!”

I shouted. Grasping his face, I screamed,

“You’re just saying that to push me away, right? Because you hate me? Why in the world would you…!”

“Because I was hungry.”

His flat tone made the words sharper. Rem smiled through his tears.

“How do you think a blind, handless orphan, without any parents or friends, was able to survive? How could someone like that learn magic?”

Rem’s unfocused eyes stared at nothing.

The words continued to flow from his mouth.

“At first, it was a single loaf of bread. I told him I’d do anything for just a single loaf. He told me to bring a beggar, any beggar. So I did. The one I brought was on the verge of death from starvation.”

“Then he gave me a whole basket of bread instead of one loaf. And he made an offer. If I continued bringing him beggars, he would even give me meat.”

“So, I did.”

“The rewards kept getting better and better. Meat, cheese, clothes, a small room to live in, a warm blanket, an old magic book, writing tools…”

“I couldn’t stop.”

“The funny thing is, after filling my stomach, my conscience, which had been silent all this time, started to squirm. I didn’t want to do it anymore. So I told him that I’d stop, that I couldn’t do it anymore. And you know what he said?”

“He asked me to do it for two more months and that if I did, he’d truly let me go. He said he’d frame me for everything if I tried to leave before then. That crazy bastard, he couldn’t even be honest and just tell me that he had no intention of letting me go.”

“It was then I decided that I had to escape. Somehow. So that’s why I entered the magic tower. I was going to throw myself from one of its balconies, make it look like suicide. I even made a magical device for it.”

“…Right, the magic platform. That was my escape route. I was going to throw a corpse wearing my clothes off from there, and then slip away.”

“But, in the end, I couldn’t.”

“…Because I was so happy being with you all.”

“So I kept bringing people to Killian. I even helped him sometimes. It made him let me go sooner so I could spend more time with you.”

“And then… I ended up killing.”

By the time his story ended, Rem was already crying with his head bowed and his back trembling.

Rem like that was a stranger to me.

No, this entire situation didn’t feel real at all.

Rem killed 72 people?

With those same hands that had embraced me, he cut open people’s stomachs?

“…And in the end, he even killed Marianne.”

My dazed mind suddenly cleared.

“W-what are you talking about…?”

Rem forced down his sobs with difficulty. His messed-up face looking up at me.

“Do you know why I said we should break up?”

That was a question I had asked many times, but never received an answer to. A question that I had ultimately blamed on myself.

Rem, grimacing, finally gave me the answer.

“That crazy bastard, Killian, told me to bring you to him. He said that he couldn’t resurrect his daughter with just random beggars.”

Rem lowered his head again.

“So I was going to kill that bastard before he even had a chance to touch you.”

His voice trembled with sobs.

“Even if things went wrong, I didn’t want you to be involved in any way.”

He lowered his head.

“That’s why I tried to push you away. I was planning to leave this place whether I succeeded or not. But…”

His body trembled, as if he were having trouble controlling his emotions. Drool dripped from his lips.

“I’m sorry, Parsley… I’m so sorry… I almost got him… but then that fucking bastard suddenly ran, and I tried to follow, but… Oh God, Marianne… Marianne…!”

It was then that I felt the pieces finally coming together.

Killian, already covered in blood,

his words about getting revenge,

and his daughter, who had become a grotesque monster.

“So, he was… in the middle of his resurrection ritual…”

“…He was at his most vulnerable then.”

His voice was almost incomprehensible now. Squeezing out the last of his strength, he said,

“So… please leave, Parsley.”

*I came here of my own free will.*

With those last words, he finally burst into tears.

And Rem like this… He was a stranger to me.

***

A bright light stung my eyes,

Following that, a stern voice pierces my ears.

“Witness, please answer the question.”

My consciousness returned, and I took in my surroundings.

White walls, a gallery filled with people, judges seated on a high platform,

and me, sitting in the witness stand.

How long- no, Since when have I been sitting here?

I don’t know.

My head was spinning.

“Witness!!”

I looked at the prosecutor standing before me, dazed.

He was staring at me, his face contorted.

“I asked you a question! Answer me!”

His voice, as sharp as the light,

made my head throb.

Why am I here?

How did I even get here?

I don’t know.

I think my mind is broken.

Since when?

I don’t know.

“Witness!!”

My head hurts.

“This is my last time asking. You seem to have spent a lot of time with the defendant. Have you ever noticed anything suspicious about the defendant?”

The defendant?

Who’s he talking about?

I looked around.

And then my eyes landed on a single person.

A boy, tied up in the middle of the courtroom.

Even though his face was covered with an iron mask, I still instantly recognized him.

Rem, the boy I love.

Not the murderer who killed 72 people?

Huh?

Not the one who killed Marianne?

No.

There’s no way Rem could do that.

Because he’s a kind boy,

because he’s a nice person who even gave me the top spot,

because he has a warm heart.

*Even after killing 72 people?*

Shut up.

There must be a reason.

There’s no way Rem just killed people for no reason.

He said it himself.

He killed them out of greed.

Shut up. The Rem I love isn’t like that. That kind of person…

Then who is this person?

My thoughts tangled into a mess.

A scream rising in my throat.

Rem, just who are you?

Which one is the real you?

Did you really kill all those people with those same hands that held me?

…Did you kill them… just like Marianne?

Turned them into motionless lumps of flesh?

“Witness?”

“Bleurgh!”

I couldn’t hold back and vomited. I could see the surprised faces of the people around me.

And among them was Mother’s face.

She came rushing to me, her face red with embarrassment, and embraced me. Looking at the judge, she shouted,

“I apologize, your Honor, but the witness is not in any condition to testify right now…”

As she said this, Mother tried to lead me away.

But I shook off her arms.

There was a question I needed to ask.

Staggering, I walked toward Rem… no, toward the stranger. Ignoring the hands reaching out to stop me, I stood before him.

Strangely, I didn’t cry,

but felt a gaping hole in my chest.

“…Why?”

Rem didn’t answer. I hadn’t expected him to anyway. So I asked him again.

“…Why did you kill them?”

I can feel the murmur of people.

But it was so distant and faint, as if they weren’t even there.

I continued speaking, feeling blood dripping from that hole in my chest.

“Why… Why didn’t you tell me…?”

My legs gave out, making me collapse. As my consciousness faded, I mumbled,

“You… You were all I had.…”

And then, I blacked out.

***

Two months have passed.

Rem received the death penalty and became a test subject.

His vocal cords were ripped out in front of everyone, and he was dragged away to the laboratory.

All because of the testimony that I had given when I wasn’t in my right mind.

And then I broke.

Marianne’s corpse wouldn’t leave my retinas.

It stuck to the wall, the ceiling, even to my food, demanding my attention.

And each time it did, I vomited, even though I hadn’t eaten anything, I vomited yellow gastric acid from my mouth.

But that I could bear.

It’s just a little stomach ache after all.

What I couldn’t stand was Rem.

He appeared in two forms:

One was when he was killing Marianne.

He would pierce her chest, bathe himself in her blood, approach me with a warm smile, and then kiss me, with those lips smeared with her flesh.

The other was when he was being experimented on.

The boy I loved, being tortured in every unimaginable ways. He would scream, constantly calling out my name

Whenever either of those appeared in my head, I would lash out,

bashing my head against the wall and scratching my body with anything sharp.

I couldn’t bear it otherwise.

I was breaking apart.

…The only thing that kept me going was Mother’s frequent visits.

When she was there, I didn’t have to think about Rem or Marianne. Although she would just come and work and then leave, that was enough.

It made me feel like a child again.

So I stayed in my room all day, waiting for her.

Lashing out, waiting for Mother, throwing up, waiting for Mother, meeting with her, her leaving, waiting again, lashing out.

That was my entire day, every day.

It was no different today.

It’s just that Mother came a bit early today,

and there was a deep shadow on her face.

“Parsley…”

Mother spoke after a long hesitation,

“Rem passed away.”

Everything that is falling apart has a damp smell.

From her bosom, she pulled out a bloodstained book,

a book I couldn’t possibly not recognize.

The tattered book that Rem always carried with him,

the book that had the words, “L hereby vows to dedicate his everything to C.”

I took the book with trembling hands. It was soaked through with blood, its original color unrecognizable.

“He survived for a while, but… the mage in charge of the experiment said that he succumbed to blood loss.”

Mother said, lowering her gaze.

“I’m sorry, Parsley.”

At that moment, I couldn’t stop the words from spilling out.

“Don’t… Don’t lie…”

“Parsley…”

I grabbed my mother’s collar.

“You said… you’d rescue him…!”

Those words were the only thing that kept me going.

On the day of his trial, mother promised.

That she’d get him out before he died.

That she’d bring him back to me, no matter what.

She promised that when she stopped me from following Rem.

“Then why…!?”

“Parsley, this mother did her best, but…”

“Shut up!”

Clinging to her clothes, I shouted,

“Bring him back…! Right now…!!”

*Thwack-*

My body was thrown to the floor.

Tasting blood, I looked up.

“Mo…ther?”

“It seems your bad habits are getting worse from all my indulgence, Parsley.”

Mother frowned, straightening her clothes. Then, she looked down at me coldly and said,

“Think for yourself, Parsley. If I, whose position is already precarious, get caught trying to secretly get that murderer out, do you think this mother could keep her position as the tower master?”

“What are you talking about…?”

“You’re as stupid as ever.”

Contempt fills my mother’s eyes.

“Why should I risk my position for you?”

My mind went blank.

“I just went along with your pathetic act to prevent you from dying. And now that I’ve indulged you, you’ve gotten arrogant?”

“But… you said that you were sorry…”

“Would it be okay for my reputation to be ruined if you were to die? Think, Parsley.”

My mother’s, no, Sage’s brow furrows.

“And, come to think of it, can you really say that was all my fault? Wasn’t the decisive testimony that led to that murderer receiving the death penalty spewed from *your* mouth?”

An arrow-like memory pierced me at those words.

[…Why did you kill them?]

I desperately tried to retort.

“N-No! I wasn’t in my right mind, that’s…”

“Your excuses are getting too long, Parsley.”

Sage dusted her hands and sighed.

“Well, I’ve done enough as a mother.”

“What…?”

Sage pulled out a document from her bosom and threw it in front of me.

“You’ll be working here from now on.”

At the top of the document, I saw the words “Dryan Research Laboratory”.

“It’s located on the western edge of the continent. I’ve already prepared the teleportation circle, so just get your things.”

“Just what…”

“Bad rumors about you are spreading because you were foolish enough to fall for a damn murderer.”

Sage, pulling down her blue hat, spat out the words.

“So don’t taint this mother’s name any longer and stay there for a while. In that backwater village.”

“….”

“Maybe then, you’ll finally grow up.”

It was then that realization struck me like a bolt of lightning:

Rem and Marianne… they were the only ones who truly cared about me.

And Marianne died because of Rem, and Rem because of me.

No, did they both die because of *me*?

No, did *I* kill them both?

I didn’t know.

I couldn’t understand anything anymore.

I only saw the awl that had fallen by the bed.

I picked it up.

The sharp, pointy awl seemed like a path,

a path that led to two familiar faces.

I smiled at them for the first time in a month.

*I’m sorry, I’ll join you soon.*

I raised the awl…

“Are you deaf? Didn’t I say that this mother’s reputation would be tarnished if you killed yourself?”

*Clang-!*

The awl, flung from my hand, hit the floor with a loud clang.

And then Sage’s hand grabbed my face.

I tried to scream; I tried to scratch her,

but the moment I saw the magic circle in her hand, I froze.

A triple-structured magic circle, familiar somehow.

I could see Sage’s crumpled face beyond it.

“This time, where should I erase the memories from and where should I rewrite… From childhood, self-harm, suicide, what a troublesome daughter you are.”

A scream rose in my throat. I wanted to cry out and refuse.

But her magic circle engraved itself onto my retinas first.

“Well, it wouldn’t be so bad to take this opportunity and fix it thoroughly this time.”

Hearing that mutter, I lost consciousness.

***

It was like alchemy.

“I’m going to kill you! Sage! I’m going to kill you!!”

Getting the right ingredients, processing them correctly, and then mixing them in the proper proportions.

“Rem, I’m sorry… I-I didn’t mean to do it… Alain, have mercy…”

Even a single mistake in the mixing ratio or the processing method would ruin it.

“Marianne and Rem are dating…? They left me behind…? Why…?”

And her case was even more difficult. The trial records were still intact, so her memories had to match reality.

“Ugh… Uh… Ohhh…”

Countless, no, hundreds of trials and errors were inevitable.

“Please kill me, Mother… Please…”

No, the perpetrator wouldn’t have even dared to attempt success even after going through such trial and error.

“Ahahaha!! HAHAHAHA!!! Look at this! Mother! My arm is dangling!”

But Sage was a true genius of the century.

***

She opened the door and looked down at me.

And then I, who’d been crying, rushed toward Mother and clung to her clothes.

Mother, what should I do?

I ended up lying at the trial.

Rem is going to die because of me.

He’s the boy I love…

Mother, what should I do?

Then she answers,

Actually, we just received news.

They say that boy had escaped from the experimental facility on his own.

And look, he left you this letter.

My face brightened, and I asked her,

Really?

Show me.

Please let me read it.

Then she hands me the letter as if doing me a favor. I open it, trying to calm my frantic heart.

And then I see the curses that fill the pages.

Each and every word ripping my soul to shreds.

Before I knew it, I was crying again,

clinging to her and begging for help.

He said he would kill me.

He said he hates me.

Mother, what am I going to do?

How can I atone for this sin?

Then she smiles kindly and replies,

Don’t worry, Parsley.

We are mages, remember?

Mages always find a way.

By chance, do you know of the artifact called Alain’s pocket watch?

It’s an incredible artifact that can turn back the time of the world.

If you find it…

and rewind time to before you lied,

and if you correct everything.

If that’s possible, you could be ‘saved.’

My tears had stopped. Looking at her with shining eyes, I said,

Really? Can it really happen?

Can I really be forgiven by him?

She smiles kindly.

Of course. Actually, there’s a Laboratory that’s currently researching Alain’s pocket watch. It’s called the Dryan Research Laboratory. Do you know it?

If you go there, you’ll be able to find a way.

Want me to send you there?

And I smiled back, a smile full of hope.

Yes.

Please, Mother, I beg you.

Please let me go there.

Let me go to that remote place and rot.

Let me spend the rest of my life searching for a lost artifact no one has seen for three hundred years.

…

…

…

A perfect scenario,

the result of endless brainstorming.

She avoided tarnishing her own reputation because of my suicide attempt.

She successfully sent me away from the magic tower.

And she even managed to quell my anger.

Sage’s masterpiece.

That was the memory I had been carrying for seven years.

Since when, I wonder.

I started laughing while looking at the night sky. I couldn’t stop.

It was because I was so ridiculous.

Why did I ever think that those stars in the sky were giving me hope? Why did I think they were blessing me?

They’d been mocking me all this time.

How funny I must have looked in their eyes, believing that I was innocent because I loved him.

How much ridicule did my naivety, my believing that I was the only sinner, incur.

But their laughter wouldn’t last long.

I started laughing again, this time much louder.

Because now I was laughing at how foolish *they* were.

Sage was right about one thing.

Mages always find a way.

And that way was right before my eyes.

in that grotesque fortress,

Alain’s pocket watch.

The day that watch falls into my hands.

And when all preparations are complete…

The stars mocking me now will bend to my will.

They will reverse the night sky at my command.

The very fate of the world will bow before me.

And with that, I will truly rewrite the story.

Using myself as ink, I’ll start from the very beginning of the book.

For the sake of the boy who had no choice but to trade his morality for a piece of bread.