Chapter 58: Becoming Adult – 3

“First, start lightly with just the lips.”

Madam Linne, with her index and middle fingers softly pressed against my lips, continued speaking.

I was learning the art of seduction, even today.

“And then, the gaze. I’ve told you before, haven’t I? The gaze is crucial for love to bloom. You mustn’t avoid it; you need to look into the other person’s eyes. Vivian, you should make use of your beautiful eyes.”

“After holding the gaze for a moment, let out a short sigh. Take your time. If the man seems flustered, take the initiative and touch your lips again. If he approaches you instead, simply close your eyes.”

“After a light kiss, you need to mix your tongue. Think of my hand as a tongue and try it.”

Madam Linne raised both hands, touching only her fingertips lightly together.

“Gently. If the other person becomes too excited and tries to go deeper, pull back a little. A woman shouldn’t give herself away too easily.”

“Once you’ve made him impatient enough, that’s when you can give yourself to him. Mix your tongues deeply.”

Madam Linne clasped her hands together as if shaking hands and smiled faintly at Vivian.

But Vivian simply stared blankly.

Madam Linne’s words went in one ear and out the other.

Yesterday, everything had moved too quickly to process, but as time passed, her mind kept drifting back to Kailo’s actions.

Kailo, who had looked into her eyes.

The clear desire that had surfaced in them.

And the way he had leaned in, about to kiss her.

“…Is he insane?”

Before she knew it, Vivian muttered under her breath.

How could he even think about kissing her?

They were enemies.

Kailo and her.

They’d known each other since she was 13, and now she was 16.

She knew her body was changing, but no matter how much that was the case, such a thing was unimaginable between them.

Even now, while Kailo had grown taller and more robust, Vivian still remembered when he was small and frail.

And the intense disgust she had once felt for him.

…So why did her heart race whenever yesterday’s events came to mind?

Why did she dream of being intimate with him?

And why, in the early hours of dawn, had she been unable to look away from his eyes and lips?

“Pardon?”

Madam Linne, startled, asked again.

“Ah, no, it’s nothing.”

Vivian quickly came to her senses and stammered.

“I just… remembered something for a moment.”

She closed her eyes tightly, trying to shake off the intrusive thoughts, but the memory was too vivid.

It had only been a few hours ago, and that wasn’t enough time to sort through her feelings.

Troubled, Vivian looked at Madam Linne.

The older woman, perhaps sensing something was off, simply stared at her silently.

In the past, Vivian wouldn’t have noticed, but now she could recognize the concern in Madam Linne’s gaze.

Though clumsy, Madam Linne was clearly trying to express her worry.

In the end, Vivian let out a sigh and spoke up.

She had been wanting to ask someone anyway.

“Master, have you ever…?”

“Yes? Go on, speak.”

Madam Linne responded as if she’d been waiting for Vivian to continue.

Vivian carefully chose her words, avoiding directly thinking about Kailo.

“…Have you ever wanted to kiss someone… without being in love?”

“…Pardon?”

“I mean, just out of curiosity or driven by desire. Is it possible to want to kiss someone without having feelings for them?”

“And you feel nothing toward that person otherwise?”

“Have you felt that way about someone?”

Vivian shook her head vehemently.

“No, it’s not like that. I just… I’ve seen so many of the maids and the young soldiers… together.”

Madam Linne, as if understanding, took a deep breath and answered.

“Of course, it’s possible. I’ve told you many times that desire alone is enough to do all these things.”

Vivian frowned instinctively.

“…Really? I think people act only when there’s love involved… Even men.”

Madam Linne firmly shook her head.

“No. The pleasure of contact with mucous membranes is significant enough that love isn’t necessary.”

“But… isn’t it only fulfilling when it’s with someone you like? Who would want to do such things with someone they dislike?”

“As you said, if curiosity takes over, or if desire builds up… it’s entirely possible. Especially for those of lower birth.”

“But…”

Vivian kept unconsciously rebutting Madam Linne.

She knew the correct answer in her head, but it was as if she was hoping for a different one.

“…Sigh.”

Eventually, Vivian gave up on her inexplicable fixation and accepted Madam Linne’s answer.

Still, it left her with a heavy feeling in her chest.

And along with it came a tinge of irritation.

She knew Kailo didn’t like her.

Even what happened this morning was probably nothing more than his desire surfacing.

The fact that she was still dwelling on it, letting it affect her, was humiliating.

Kailo might appear unaffected, but it was clear he was simply good at hiding it.

The occasional moments when he directed such behavior at her made it evident.

And whenever that happened, Vivian’s emotions would turn chaotic, leaving her annoyed.

Perhaps this was all her fault.

For suppressing Kailo’s desires too much.

Even when he seemed close to being involved with the maids or during his time with Lani Duboss, Vivian had intervened.

Maybe that’s why Kailo acted this way.

Should she just let him go?

Allow him the freedom the young soldiers were about to receive?

Should she let him visit the brothels?

“…Vivian?”

At that moment, Madam Linne’s voice snapped her back to reality.

“Yes?”

Looking up, Vivian saw an expression of deep concern on Madam Linne’s face, unlike anything she’d seen before.

“…Are you all right?”

“…What do you mean?”

“Your expression suddenly darkened. And your hand…”

Vivian looked down at her hand.

Unknowingly, she’d clenched it so tightly that the quill she’d been holding had snapped.

“…Ah.”

As she relaxed her grip, blood returned to her pale fingers, and the broken quill fell to the desk.

Thinking of Kailo frequenting a brothel must have subconsciously affected her.

Still, the thought left her feeling irritated.

The idea of Kailo entangling himself with prostitutes made her stomach churn.

That he might touch them the way he had tried to touch her.

That he might look at them the way he had looked at her.

That he might kiss them the way he had tried to kiss her—

It made Vivian feel as though her heart was being squeezed painfully tight.

Just the thought of it made her want to kill all the prostitues.

And she wanted to make sure Kailo personally executed them with his own hands.

Tap.

Vivian lightly pressed her forehead and closed her eyes again.

She couldn’t understand why such violent impulses always surged when it came to Kailo.

Killing someone just for being involved with Kailo?

It couldn’t possibly be the right thing to do.

She didn’t know.

She simply couldn’t figure it out.

Perhaps, with the bloodshed that was soon to come to Rondor Castle, her mind had grown violent in preparation.

Or maybe, her resolve was hardening to face the future.

But whatever the reason, losing her composure every time Kailo was involved was hardly desirable.

Lady Linne’s expression remained dark.

Vivian had no intention of sharing anything about Kailo with her.

Therefore, to dispel her unsettled demeanor, Vivian chose another excuse.

“Today’s lesson ends here.”

She said first.

It was the first time she’d done so, and Lady Linne’s slightly surprised expression showed it.

“There’s still plenty of time—”

Tap.

Vivian took a document out of her drawer.

A kill list.

Showing it to her, Vivian said.

“Sit down.”

“…All of em.”

Lady Linne was at a loss for words at Vivian’s declaration.

The elderly woman, who usually exuded dignity and strength, could only gape like a fool.

In contrast, Vivian, who had always appeared lacking in front of her, remained composed.

The unsettled atmosphere from earlier had completely vanished.

Vivian leisurely took a sip of the steaming tea she held, waiting for Lady Linne’s response.

Lady Linne, still flustered, looked down at the document in her trembling hands once again.

“…You plan to eliminate them all?”

Her deep eyes scanned the endless list of names.

She turned to Vivian, seeking confirmation.

“Everyone on this list?”

“Yes, everyone.”

“…Good heavens, Vivian…”

Watching Lady Linne’s shocked reaction, Vivian felt her perception of the woman shift again.

She had thought of her as a straightforward, strong woman without pretense.

But seeing this elder, many times her senior, so shaken by change was oddly fascinating.

Kailo, on the other hand, hadn’t been surprised at all.

He merely had a look of resigned acceptance—as if he’d known this day would come, as if he’d known it was finally beginning.

He hadn’t been flustered or shaken like Lady Linne.

Moments ago, just thinking about him had irritated her, but now, it was clear.

Kailo was her only ally—her only companion.

He was the only one who understood her precarious position and why she had no choice but to make such drastic decisions.

And the stability that understanding brought her… was, in truth, invaluable.

Vivian knew all too well that it was because of Kailo she could even consider these choices.

It only annoyed her when his soulless lust toward her showed itself.

“You’re taking too many risks…!”

Lady Linne finally spoke.

“I’ve told you before, Vivian. Instead of this, it’s better to nurture your charm and secure a strong husband. That’s the safest and most certain way.”

“I’ll do that too.”

Vivian replied simply, agreeing to the vague suggestion for now.

“And I’ll do this as well. There are far too many people who are hostile to me. If I want to survive to adulthood, I have to act first.”

“You can’t be certain that everyone here is your enemy—”

“I am certain.”

Vivian cut her off firmly.

She had relied greatly on the power of magic up until now.

Of course, she hadn’t been able to read anyone’s innermost thoughts, and some names sat in ambiguous positions on the list.

But Vivian didn’t want to dig too deeply into those finer truths.

She didn’t have the time.

Instead, she divided people into categories—those who had shown loyalty and those who hadn’t.

The capable and the incompetent.

Those who were helpful and those who weren’t.

It was on this basis that she had compiled the kill list.

It didn’t mean she intended to kill everyone.

But, at the very least, she meant to eliminate them from her side.

“And… I’ve already made my decision. If you respect me as the Lady of Loctana, you will follow me without question.”

A myriad of emotions crossed Lady Linne’s face—fear and worry among them.

It wasn’t concern for Vivian, though.

It was worry for her own family and her own life.

Vivian was preparing for a true political battle, and everyone caught in the storm would feel its effects.

And if Vivian were to lose such a war, the positions of those who sided with her would be far from guaranteed.

Vivian watched the conflicted Lady Linne in silence before finally speaking.

“…If you’re afraid of standing by me…”

“Vivian—”

“…then you may leave. I won’t say a word. I won’t impose any penalties. I swear on the honor of Rondor.”

“But I will fight now. Even if I’m scared, I have to act… so that I won’t be dismissed by others.”

She intended to restore Loctana and Rondor, to recover everything her family had left behind.

To ensure that neither her retainers nor even her maids would ever look down on her again.

To ensure that no other families would dare disrespect her again.

…To ensure that no one could ever take what was hers.

Lady Linne slowly closed her uneasy eyes, then opened them again.

This time, they were filled with resolve.

“I will follow you.”

She said.

Vivian nodded.

“You won’t regret it.”

***

Several days had passed since that dawn, and today I came down to the city again with the punishment unit members.

Vivian came along as well.

“…Are you sure about this?”

I asked her.

I couldn’t fathom what she’d been thinking during all those long nights locked in her room.

Every decision she made was shocking.

Vivian showed no signs of wavering, as though she’d made up her mind long ago.

“It’s not enough to eliminate the retainers. We need replacements.”

With great effort, Vivian posted a massive document on the towering wall, ensuring all of Loctana’s citizens could see it.

Reading it, I remarked.

“…You’re making a proper declaration of war.”

Vivian chuckled quietly, her amusement not hidden.

“That’s right.”

There was no benefit to letting everyone see how well we got along.

The people still struggled to recover from the damage done to our family.

After much effort attaching the document to the wall, Vivian turned around.

Then, with a commanding voice, she addressed the many eyes watching her.

“We are seeking talent!”

Her voice shook the air, and for a moment, the entire space bent to her will.

No one dared to breathe too loudly.

By the end of the day, this news would undoubtedly spread to every tavern in Loctana.

If it had been the old Vivian, she would have stuttered and shaken uncontrollably.

But today, she was different.

Her figure, standing tall after overcoming pain, was resolute, and above all, her gaze did not waver.

I couldn’t understand why I was so mesmerized by that sight.

The once-weak woman slowly rising on her own—who would have thought it could be so addictive?

Vivian, drawing everyone’s attention, shouted loudly.

“I will accept any talent! If you have the qualities of a merchant, that’s good. If you possess the wisdom to uncover secrets, even better! If you have a gift for swordsmanship, do not hide it—wield it for me. I will not ask about your birth. I will not ask about your past. Even if you are a slave, as long as you are exceptional, I will buy your freedom. I will give everyone a second chance!”

Vivian stretched out her hand, pointing to the members of her punishment unit.

“Look at them. They were once criminals, captured and condemned. But now, they are knights acknowledged by me. You can be the same. You can all achieve that.”

Vivian’s voice grew louder, and murmurs began spreading through the crowd.

In the eyes of a few citizens, who seemed worn down by poverty and lifeless despair, a glimmer of light returned.

It was clear that Vivian’s brief proposal was igniting hope in their hearts.

And that spark, lit by Vivian herself, would likely turn into unwavering loyalty directed toward her.

I hadn’t expected this, but I knew from the very beginning.

I knew that Vivian’s actions today would create a powerful wind.

“There are already many retainers who have claimed the roles you speak of!”

Someone shouted from the crowd.

Vivian replied.

“I only consider ability. If you have the skill, I will push aside anyone by my side, no matter who they are. To save Loctana, what matters is not who your father is but what capabilities you have.”

Vivian then shouted loudly.

It was a voice unimaginable from the timid woman she used to be.

“I am the lady of Loctana and the last survivor of the Rondor family. I, too, have suffered loss, just like all of you.”

Her voice resonated with deep emotion as she spoke.

“If there is anyone willing to pledge loyalty to me, no one else but ‘Vivian Rondor,’ if there is anyone willing to help rebuild this broken Loctana—”

Cheers and responses began erupting from all around.

It was like witnessing the birth of a new religion.

“Follow me! Lend me your strength! Help me!”

In Vivian’s eyes, which sought help, there was no trace of weakness.

Instead, her gaze was filled with the dignity that could command people, a quality I had only seen in her father.

“This is the first step! Together, let us rebuild Loctana!”

Her powerful voice echoed through the entire street, and the reverberation spread, shaking the entire domain.

Curious onlookers emerged one by one and joined the growing crowd.

“Vivian! Vivian! Vivian!”

“For Rondor! For Loctana!”

Vivian exhaled deeply, meeting the gaze of the countless people looking up at her.

“…Ha.”

I glanced sideways at her.

What emotions was she feeling at this moment?

I couldn’t tell.

To me, she was still the same woman who once cried by her mother’s sickbed.

Although Vivian was the one who stood tall, I felt a sense of pride knowing that my efforts had also played a part in leading her here.

After gazing at the citizens for a long while, Vivian finally turned to me and spoke.

“Kailo.”

Even amidst the cheers of the crowd, her voice reached me clearly.

“Speak.”

I replied.

Vivian turned her head and looked up at me.

Perhaps drunk on the situation, her sharp, gleaming eyes pierced through me as she said,

“…The first person we need to eliminate is Treasurer Brynden.”

She announced her first target.

She must have thought deeply about this decision.

I chuckled and looked at her.

I didn’t want to doubt her thoughts anymore.

I had no intention of interfering with the path she had started walking alone.

Instead, I only wanted to help her.

“…Leave it to me.”

I answered.

Before I realized it, I, too, seemed to be swept up in the situation Vivian had created.