I Have to Try Something (1)

Guilt crept up on me at the sight of Mari, who was depressed to a suspicious degree, but I soon realized that this was the moment I had been longing for.

A golden opportunity to lower Mari’s favorability towards me! I must seize it somehow. If I ignore her in this state, Mari will surely view me negatively. What kind of person would like someone who ignores them? Only those with strange minds or perverts with special fetishes. Obviously, Mari doesn’t fall into either of those categories.

Alright, you’re finally working properly, brain. Let the operation begin.

After that, I deliberately turned my back on Mari and focused only on the class. I don’t usually chat with Mari, but this time I thoroughly ignored her, giving off the feeling of “I don’t care about you at all.” Even if Mari gathered the courage to speak to me, I didn’t answer, and after a few attempts, she stopped saying anything.

Towards the end of the class, Professor Elaine, seeing the state of us two, sighed and declared the end of the class without saying anything particular.

In the end, Mari’s expression didn’t brighten until the end of the class, and after saying she would come in a little later (of course, I didn’t answer), she disappeared somewhere.

And when I returned to the room alone, I immediately threw myself on the bed.

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry… I’m really sorry…”

The guilt that I had been suppressing until now surged up from my throat to my head, and I couldn’t bear it anymore. It was the villainous act I had wanted so much. Knowing that Mari’s face was like that because of me made it unbearable.

But the deed has already been done. It’s like a bus that has already left, an arrow already shot, a die already cast. No amount of regret will change anything now. I will have to keep tormenting Mari endlessly from now on, and every time, I will see Mari’s dejected face countless times. I can’t be depressed and beat myself up like this every time.

“Be harsh. Be harsher…”

I clenched my fist so hard it might crush and pulled myself together. Well done, Ariel. This is how you should do it. Got it?

Alright. A good idea just came to mind. Tomorrow is Saturday. A day when we don’t go to the academy. A perfect day for mischief.

I was suddenly curious about why there was a concept of days of the week, but I brushed it off as author’s convenience. I wasn’t relaxed enough to worry about such trivial things right now.

Mari was realizing her own powerlessness. Ariel seemed to be deep in thought no matter how you looked at it. During class, she perfectly completed her tasks and created highly advanced spell formulas that would be difficult without considerable concentration. But Mari, watching from the side, could tell. She was not concentrating as much as usual right now.

She didn’t know the reason. Until before lunchtime, she had maintained her usual dignified and elegant appearance when seen from afar. That means something must have happened during lunchtime.

“Ah, Lady Walpurgis? She was enjoying dessert earlier with Lady Jernia and Lady Scrania.”

Fortunately, Mari was relatively well-regarded at the academy, and while nobles might not, many commoners spoke with her. Obtaining this much information was very easy.

The problem was what came next. Lady Jernia, Lady Scrania. Neither of them was an easy opponent. Surely the reason for Ariel’s worries must be those two. They weren’t people she could openly approach and ask.

Ariel probably wouldn’t tell her until the end. That means she must be dealing with worries too enormous for Mari to handle. She wanted to be of help, even if just a little, but…

‘Compared to Lady Ariel, I’m far too insignificant right now.’

Objectively speaking, Mari’s abilities aren’t far behind Ariel’s. It’s just that she didn’t receive proper education from childhood, causing that difference, and if she continues to learn steadily like this, it’s not impossible to catch up.

But right now, there was a huge, unbridgeable gap between Ariel and Mari. Ariel is currently more capable than Mari, from a better family, and has a wonderful fiancé. In Mari’s own opinion, she couldn’t possibly stand beside Ariel.

‘This won’t do.’

The reason Ariel pushed her away so coldly must surely be there. Because it’s something Mari can’t do anything about even if she tries. She was being considerate by telling her not to worry. What if Ariel’s worries come from noble affairs? If it’s related to her family? As frustrating as it is, Mari truly had no means to do anything. Then the answer is one.

‘Even if I worry about later things later. I should at least do what I can do now.’

Even the ‘shining existence’ that Mari admires, Ariel is not invincible. She is ultimately just a human being and may have weak points.

Although Mari is a girl with dreams, she doesn’t confuse reality with dreams. Even Ariel has times when she worries, when she struggles. That’s what makes her human. And humans should help each other, as she has been taught since childhood.

Until now, Mari didn’t have any clear goals. She just lived thinking vaguely about becoming a great person. But now, Mari has set a rough goal for her life.

‘I want to rise to a position where I can help Lady Ariel.’

She wanted to become someone Ariel could confide in openly and lean on. Of course, Ariel wasn’t the only one she had these thoughts about. There were many people struggling around Mari, and she always thought that her current self was far from enough to help them.

But she hadn’t thought much about how far she needed to go to fill that insufficiency. The more she thought about how far she needed to go to be satisfied, the more she couldn’t reach a conclusion, so she had half given up.

That worry now felt somewhat resolved. She just needs to rise to a level where she can help Ariel. Someone who is so high up that it’s faster to count from the top among those she knows, and who will rise the highest. If she can stand in a position to help her, wouldn’t she be able to help anyone?

“For that, I need to work harder.”

Fortunately, where Mari is now is Milano Academy. It’s a gateway where anyone can rise if they prove their abilities. She’s already achieving excellent grades, but she can’t be satisfied with this. Her competitors are everywhere.

“Alright, let’s do our best!”

She nods and resolves once again. She thought she was already working hard enough, but she felt the need to work even harder from here.

The decision is made. Then what’s left is…

“I should start with what I can do now.”

Although she set a goal, she had no intention of neglecting the present. After all, the reason Mari didn’t return to the room right away wasn’t because she felt uncomfortable with Ariel or anything. It’s time to fulfill what she promised but hasn’t been able to keep until now.

Mari smiled and hurried her steps.

In the end, Mari didn’t return even after dinner time was over. Maybe I was too harsh after all. Openly ignoring her on the spot was something that couldn’t be taken well. But I can’t keep beating myself up over this forever. Regretting what’s already passed won’t turn back time. What’s ahead is important.

“Did something happen?”

“It’s nothing.”

“You don’t look well. If you’re feeling unwell, you should visit the infirmary.”

“Thank you for your consideration.”

It seems my condition looked so bad that even Reinhardt commented on it during dinner. But I’m really fine. I’ve more or less finished my mental preparation now. When Mari returns, I need to act as usual. Whether Mari gets angry at me or is sad, I need to treat her as usual.

For some reason, I half-listened to Reinhardt’s advice to take care of my health and returned to the room again. In the end, Mari didn’t show up in the dining hall either. Since dinner time is over, she’s probably eating out today.

‘I should think about tomorrow’s plans.’

I’ll go out tomorrow. The area around the academy has good infrastructure and functions well as a city. And there…

Just as I was organizing in my head what I needed to do outside, I heard the sound of the door opening. A familiar presence. Mari had returned.

But I didn’t go out of my way to greet her warmly. I never greeted Mari every time she went out and came back. I just ended it with a simple “You’re back.” Although Mari, for some reason, always greeted me.

However, today will be different. Today, Mari will surely have negative feelings towards me and won’t greet me as usual…

“I’m back.”

“Y-yes?”

Huh? Why is she like this?