Chapter 57 – Floor 9. You Worthless Onahole Wretch

I generate momentum in my waist, holding the greatsword slightly below waist level, sweeping it outward as I pull back my foot, stepping backward while lifting the handle to swing the sword behind me.

The lizard’s scales crack, and red blood gushes from the fissure.

The Lizard Follower screams and falls to its knees as white bone protrudes from between the flesh of its knee.

I step forward again, thrusting the sword I had swung back, pushing it forward as if throwing it, drawing a circle.

The greatsword’s slash comes down vertically.

Swoosh─

The lizard’s head splits exactly in half, and its belly skin tears thinly, spilling its internal organs.

The follower perishes this way.

I dodge a flying spear blade from the side with a slight tilt of my head, letting it merely graze me.

Clack-

As the spear blade scrapes the side of my helmet, sending sparks flying, I rotate in place and deliver a wide horizontal slash, feeling the dull sensation of hitting a sack of meat.

“Kkhehk─!”

With its ribs and spine crushed and waist half-split, looking like a tree being chopped with an axe, the follower screamed.

Behind me, a blue magic bullet flies straight toward me.

The height is around the collarbone. The distance is too close to dodge by moving my body.

With a quick calculation, I kick the follower, who is still standing with my greatsword embedded in it, spilling its entrails and blood, pushing it into the path of the magic bullet.

Boom─!

Propelled by my powerful kick, the follower’s head is hit by the magic bullet, causing its neck to bend sharply and killing it instantly.

What remains is the Lizard Follower with the staff.

It takes about 7 seconds to chant another spell. The distance between me and the follower is about 5 seconds at full sprint.

As soon as it begins chanting, I abandon my greatsword, which would be cumbersome for running, and charge forward.

The follower looks flustered that I’ve discarded my weapon.

But before that bewilderment can change into another emotion, I reach it, plant an uppercut on its chin to stop the chanting, and grab its upper and lower jaws with both hands, forcing them apart.

Naturally, as I reach the limit indicated by the range of muscle movement, I feel elasticity and pain, and the force trying to close the mouth pushes back against my arms that are prying it open.

Crack- Pop-

Unfortunately for the lizard, its bite force wasn’t particularly strong.

“KYHAAA───!”

TEAR─!

The lizard’s large mouth opens even wider with a ripping sound, reaching an angle of no return.

With its mouth opened almost 180 degrees, bones broken at the jaw joint piercing through the flesh and bleeding profusely, its entire body trembles.

I release my hands and stomp down with my foot.

Thunk! Crack!

Brain matter and flesh stick to the sole of my metal boots. How many times did I stomp?

By the time the head was completely crushed beyond recognition, a familiar log appeared at the side of my vision.

[You have defeated a Lizard Follower.]

“Huff, hah… Whew! How about that? I’ve gotten pretty good, haven’t I?”

“Not bad. At first, you were feeble like a hatchling just out of the egg, but now you could be called a warrior without shame.”

On our way back to the Lizard village, I took on all the enemies that appeared.

Of course, it wasn’t because I was subdued after being hit by Blue Tongue, but because I volunteered to gain combat experience.

Though the journey time doubled due to being held up by Lizard Followers and predatory plants that seemed to pour out from nowhere, requiring an overnight camp, this safe practical training where I could push myself endlessly became excellent fertilizer for my growth.

At first, I allowed several effective hits even from just two followers, but now I could defeat three of them, albeit with difficulty.

This clearly demonstrated that experience and technique help more in terms of combat power than system-based numerical values.

‘So status values really are physical specs.’

I tapped the plate armor, which had become a complete mess, almost like a rag, with my finger and stretched my arms out fully.

My shoulder joints and waist loosened smoothly.

Blue Tongue passed by me and picked up a peculiar patterned necklace from around a dead follower’s neck.

A necklace with engravings of shapes that were difficult to describe.

It was so intricate that it raised the question of how followers without a village could create such carvings, which seemed troublesome to carve even with modern technology.

“Like an egg thief.”

Though it was subtle as an insult, Blue Tongue seemed genuinely angry, striking the ground with her tail—thump, thump—and crushing the necklace in her grip.

I couldn’t help but be amazed at the necklace that turned to powder with just grip strength alone.

‘Just how much strength is needed for such a feat of strength? 20? 25? Damn lizard race-spoon.’ [Note: “Race-spoon” refers to inherent racial advantages]

So we arrived at the Lizard village, the starting point of the journey to recover Hairyson for the Suspicious Merchant.

“It’s Headless, not Hairyson, customer. And I know you have no intention of finding it.”

“Hey! Have I been deceived all along? Trust me and wait, I’ll surely find it for you! Just like how a mother takes New Year’s money and promises to return it when you’re grown up!”

“Customer, again with the incomprehensible words.”

The truth is, I had planned to ditch them along the way, but I forgot while being caught up in the fighting.

Well, even a perfect man like me can make such mistakes, right? Isn’t this also charming?

WHACK!

My knees bend 90 degrees as my center of gravity tilts precariously.

“ARGHHHH!!!”

Splash.

I fell into the mud, screaming as I grabbed my leg, which was cramping and trembling.

“Meow! Meooow!!!”

“Hmph.”

“You two seem to get along well.”

***

After returning to the village, I received sharp glances from the Lizard guards at the entrance, but when I hugged Blue Tongue’s shoulder intimately, they looked away as if they hadn’t seen anything.

“Haha, idiots! But what can you do? What are you capable of?”

I entered the village while giving them the middle finger with both hands, making a mountain sign in sign language.

“Hmm. I prefer those with more muscle.”

“What?”

“Stop dawdling and come in. I’ll prepare for summoning the Guardian, human.”

Blue Tongue entered the largest hut in the village.

Given the difficulty of making bricks in this jungle and the racial characteristics of Lizards making it hard to create intricate things, the village consisted entirely of houses woven from leaves or burrows.

Even among these, only the place Blue Tongue just entered and a few houses next to it had the shape of a house.

Most were curled up in burrows with their gazes directed outward. Fitting for lizards, I suppose.

“I shouldn’t have bothered. I’ve already missed a day of business.”

As I looked around the Lizard village, the merchant started grumbling again, making me scratch my head.

“Hey, hey. Are you going to die from taking a day off from business? Between us, we can take a break sometimes, right?”

“Between customer and me?”

In truth, we have no relationship at all.

I had planned to roughly find that headless horse in the middle of this and send the merchant back, but I had forgotten.

And I hadn’t thought about what to say next.

“What kind of relationship?”

The Suspicious Merchant looked up at me as I tilted my head, crossed my arms, and put on a solemn expression.

Despite clearly wearing a mask, somehow it feels like I can see their face. They’re looking. Staring, even. Like they’re boring holes through my face!

‘I’m screwed.’

It would have been better if they had just accepted it.

I closed my eyes and pretended to recall something, setting a deliberately heavy atmosphere.

In reality, it was just a way to buy time.

But that wasn’t a method that could buy much time. The Suspicious Merchant urged me to answer.

“Customer.”

“Hmm… Obviously, we’re the kind of relationship that will walk into the future together, aren’t we?”

“Future…”

Since we would be seeing each other’s faces until we destroy that tentacle-eyed thing waiting at the 30th floor, saying we would walk into the future together wasn’t inappropriate.

The Suspicious Merchant seemed to fixate on the word “future,” muttering it to themselves.

“You mean?”

“Hey, do you really need an explanation? I thought you already knew.”

I don’t know what my own words mean either, but I knew from life experience that pushing the logic of “I know, so why don’t you?” could resolve the immediate situation.

You damn bitch…

The effect was tremendous!

The Suspicious Merchant, at a loss for words, stammered for a while before eventually shutting their mouth.

Somehow the gaze felt more intense, but that shouldn’t matter.

How much time passed after the Suspicious Merchant closed their mouth? Blue Tongue emerged from the hut with a greenish plate.

“Is that it?”

A plate so large and heavy that it could cover Blue Tongue’s entire upper body, who was already so tall that I had to look up.

It was unclear how it was made, but inside the transparent green mineral, which looked as if it had been gilded, was a smoothly carved stone.

“Sma… rakdina? Anyway, the wizard called it by that name. It’s the final medium to birth the Guardian.”

“Oh… it looks expensive and impressive?”

I had already felt something unusual about the solid gold statue, but it seemed magic was a discipline that shoveled money to burn it.

No matter how much it could create a life form equivalent to a mini-boss, how much would this cost in monetary terms?

Blue Tongue slowly walked to what appeared to be an altar in the center of the village, placed the circular plate on it, and then put the golden statue modeled after the wizard on top.

Then, with a pop sound, she reverently poured the Powerade-like liquid from the opened bottle over the golden statue.

The blue elixir flowed elegantly along the curves, seeping into the grooves carved into the green mineral plate, revealing hidden text.

“All things have come from one meditation, so all things are connected as one. The sun is its father, the moon its mother, the wind its womb. The perfection of all things lies here.”

Following Blue Tongue’s muttered incantation, the elixir gradually began to swirl and rise, enveloping the statue.

Blue Tongue looked at it and then turned to face me.

“Give me the slime mass, human.”

“Slime.”

The slime, shining with sacred light, wobbled—squelch, squelch—moving its body in response to the command, climbing onto Blue Tongue’s palm.

“All power returns to the earth, and by gaining all glory, ambiguity disappears─!”

The swirling blue elixir melted the golden statue into a golden liquid, and the green mineral plate began to shine clearly, emitting tremendous magical power.

The other Lizard residents who had come to watch the ritual widened their eyes, and the vast magical power was enough to make them curl their tails inside their bodies.

Certainly, this level of power would be sufficient to transform a mere slime mass into a monster equivalent to a mini-boss.

Blue Tongue slowly placed the slime on top of that flow.

Bubble bubble bubble-

The slime bubbled anxiously.

But Blue Tongue didn’t stop, and the blue elixir, which had melted the golden statue, met the slime emitting sacred light.

FLASH───

At that moment, a brilliant light that could illuminate the entire dark jungle covered the village.

“ARGHHH!!! DAMN IT, MY EYES!!!”

Hit by another flash bomb, I clutched my eyes and howled.

Thud-

As I staggered around, I must have tripped on a stone on the ground, as I felt my body tilt greatly, losing my sense of balance.

Splash-

Would I be taking another mud bath?

But something was strange. The Lizard village was situated on land without standing water to step in.

As time passed and my vision gradually returned, I opened my eyes, furrowing my brow to see what had caught me.

Bubble! Squelch!

“…You even hurt my eyes now. You worthless fodder Anonymous-created onahole wretch.”

Squelch?!

『aaaa’s Onahole: Blessed Golden Slime』Level: 15☆☆ [Status: Subjugated]

Health: 255/255 ■■■■■■■■■■

Fuel: 13/30 ■■■■□□□□□□

【A loyal slime onahole that obeys its master’s words, moved by the magical power of semen. Through the evolution ritual, it has shed limitations that should have been impossible for its species.】

The slime, which had changed from a soda-like color to an Inca Cola-like color, was wobbling in front of me in the form of a woman, as if mimicking the statue’s appearance.