I Can’t Study – 1

When Ye-rin was in America.

If Ye-rin ever came back, I felt like I could do anything.

Stars in the night sky or whatever else—I truly wanted it desperately.

However.

Once Ye-rin actually returned, there was exactly one thing I couldn’t do.

No, rather, I was flustered because something that worked fine before wasn’t working anymore.

— …I can’t study.

Emergency. Ultra emergency━━━!

Whether then or now, I still hated studying to death, but…

Before, I forced myself to study while cursing, driven by the single determination to get into the same university as Ye-rin who was getting farther away.

But now.

“…Ye-rin.”

Ye-rin, who was studying across the table, looked up at my call.

I reached out and stroked her cheek.

Even at my sudden skinship, Ye-rin didn’t find it bothersome or annoying for interrupting her study—instead, she smiled happily and rubbed her cheek against my hand.

…This is the problem.

I might sound ridiculous after being the one touching her, but…

Having Ye-rin within reach like this.

Being able to enjoy her presence anytime.

Was both an incredible happiness and an incredible penalty.

I can see it. I see it. I see my future failing to concentrate on studies and ending up as a repeat student…!

Is this why corporal punishment exists?

I should be scolded for messing around while studying, but every time I mess around, Ye-rin accepts it with a smile as if she’s been waiting for it. So instead of decreasing, the frequency of my hand leaving the pen for expeditions keeps increasing.

Of course, I wasn’t some rutting Yoon Do-hyun—I was a reasonable person capable of patience.

So the day I resolved to refrain from touching her and study together…

I doubted my eyes.

“…Ye-rin.”

“Mm…?”

“Isn’t that… dangerous?”

During our study break.

Watching Ye-rin sipping bubble tea she bought on the way home while resting it on her chest—I could only gape at this amazing feat.

“What’s dangerous…?”

When I pointed at the bubble tea on her chest without saying anything, Ye-rin went “Ah~” and smiled brightly.

“I’ve never dropped or spilled it, so don’t worry…”

“…Do you always drink like that?”

“Not always, just sometimes when I’m holding something…? It’s really comfortable…”

Comfortable? That?

…What is this, a Simmons bed?

It’s amazing that’s even possible, but if it’s comfortable enough… Just how much room is there…?

Staring in disbelief at this unbelievable sight, Ye-rin’s face gradually turned the same pink color as her eye color.

Though embarrassed, she didn’t cover up or say anything—that was so like Ye-rin.

“You’re, you’re staring too much, oppa…?”

Ah, she is saying something.

It seemed the inequality in Ye-rin’s mind had shifted from “Han Woo-jin > embarrassment” to “Han Woo-jin < embarrassment.”

“…I was looking at the bubble tea. It’s fascinating.”

“…Liar.”

“…The bubble tea just happened to be there. I had no choice.”

“…Pervert.”

Though I couldn’t deny those words, I felt a bit wronged this time.

I mean, how can I not look at that?

Even while watching to see if it would really spill, it never did—it was beyond fascinating, it was miraculous.

I couldn’t take my eyes off it for a second.

In the end, that day, whenever I saw the bubble tea on the table while studying…

Whenever I looked at Ye-rin…

Even when just looking at my study guide…

That scene kept coming to mind, and before I knew it, I found myself constantly searching for Ye-rin with my eyes.

I couldn’t concentrate on studying at all.

The problem was…

That day’s bubble tea incident was one thing, but…

The next day and the day after that, I still couldn’t focus on studying.

I had to admit it now.

It wasn’t about whether I touched Ye-rin or not.

Ye-rin was…

Just being in the same room prevented me from reaching enlightenment—no, from concentrating on studying.

She was like a Mara Papiya or Heavenly Demon.

**

…What should I do?

After countless mental simulations through the night, I could only see futures where Ye-rin would be hurt no matter how I said it.

Saying you can’t study when I’m around. How can I say that?

Ye-rin hadn’t even done anything wrong.

She’d be really disappointed if I said we should study separately…?

Being disappointed would be a relief—she’d be incredibly hurt.

This was a fact I knew without even seeing it.

…No answer.

After all that worrying, my pathetic conclusion was to try harder to endure.

Han Woo-jin, you can do this.

I’m not some rutting monkey—can’t I endure for those few moments while studying?

I vowed today would be different.

Eek! Eekeeek! Eekeekeeek! EEEEEEK━━━━━!

…Failure.

I realized my identity after 19 years.

I wasn’t Australopithecus—I was a rutting Homo sapiens.

My brain, already pickled in Ye-rin dopamine, couldn’t endure and had long fled from the detox called studying. Whenever I got a chance, my eyes would chase after Ye-rin.

It was beyond salvation.

The next day after school, on the way home with Ye-rin.

After much deliberation, I carefully spoke up.

“Ye-rin.”

“Yesss…?”

In streets completely dyed red with sunset light…

Pink eyes that weren’t covered even by the sunset glow were looking at me.

“That…”

As I hesitated to speak, Ye-rin tilted her head with round eyes.

“How do you feel about… studying separately?”

“Separately…?”

“…Yeah.”

As I nodded, Ye-rin looked shocked as if she’d heard something unbelievable.

Soon, purple ink began slowly seeping into her pink eyes.

“A few, few days! Not always, just a few days a week!”

I originally thought of studying completely separately, but…

Seeing Ye-rin’s more hurt expression and reaction than I expected, like a kitten with separation anxiety, I couldn’t bear it and hurriedly added conditions.

But it seemed the same as Ye-rin’s powerlessly drooping eyebrows showed no sign of lifting.

“Am I bothering you…?”

“No? Not at all? Never? ぜんぜん?”

“Liar…”

Huh. Huhh?

Thinking that the reason for my words was because she interfered with studying…

Seeing her purple eyes gradually becoming moist, I carefully hugged Ye-rin, realizing this wouldn’t do.

“It’s really not because of you, Ye-rin. It’s just… I’m pathetic.”

“What do you mean…?”

I heard small sniffles from within my embrace.

“Promise not to laugh after hearing?”

“I’m not in the mood to laugh right now…”

— You do seem that way.

“Then, promise not to be disgusted?”

“…I’ll think about it after hearing…”

“Then I won’t say it.”

“I’ll try not to…”

I couldn’t help but chuckle at Ye-rin not giving a clear answer even in this situation.

“The first reason is…”

Ye-rin in my embrace looked up at me with worried eyes.

“…You’re too pretty.”

“…Huh?”

“The second reason is,”

“Wa-wait. Don’t joke around…”

“I’m completely serious right now. Not joking at all.”

“…Mm.”

“The second reason is, you’re too sexy.”

“…What?”

“I’m going crazy, Ye-rin. When we’re together, my eyes go to you like to Shrimp Crackers and I can’t look at study guides. Think about it. If you were me, in one space with you and study guides. Look at study guides or look at you? What’s more, when I reach out, you come closer with a smile as if you’ve been waiting. Would you want to ignore that you and look at study guides packed with black text to find the speaker’s feelings or angle of shapes? I don’t care about any of that! Realistically, you think I don’t want to be with you? I really want to be with you all day too! But I’m a test-taker. A test-taker without room to spare. So I tried to endure many times but couldn’t because I like you too much. It’s impossible. If you had to find fault, it’d be just those two things I mentioned. But saying anything about that to you doesn’t make sense, it’s crazy. So it’s like this. It’s not that you interfered or did anything wrong, just that my human evolution is incomplete, so could you understand for just a few days a week…”

“Wa-wait. Wait, oppa…!”

Huff, huff.

When the opportunity to pour out feelings accumulated over days came, I forgot to breathe while passionately speaking.

Though initially listening quietly, Ye-rin gradually looked shocked, then urgently pounded my chest to interrupt me.

Her purple eyes that were moistly wet just now were painted with an even deeper pink than before.

Her snow-white cheeks were flushed red enough that even sunset light couldn’t hide it.

“O-oppa. The first reason aside…”

So she accepts that.

“The second one, what do you mean I’m se…xy…? No matter how I think about it, I’ve never worn such clothes or acted like that while studying with you…”

Confused by her boyfriend’s sudden declaration of sexual desire, Ye-rin rambled in defense, but…

“Ye-rin.”

But hearing that, I couldn’t help but chuckle.

Having never done such things…

Seriously.

Ye-rin knew too little about herself.

“It’s not about your clothes or actions.”

At my serious expression and words that didn’t match it…

Ye-rin briefly tilted her head with wide eyes showing confusion, then…

Soon realizing what I meant, she bowed her head deeply.

…It’s hot.

Surely it wasn’t this hot when we first hugged.

I felt our body temperatures rising compared to before.

“So… sorry. For being such a pathetic boyfriend. Could you understand a little?”

Ye-rin rubbed her face against my chest like throwing a tantrum.

“…You’re not pathetic.”

“Even showing this side?”

“Yeah… even showing worse, you’re never pathetic. Because I know why you’re trying so hard to focus on studying…”

Hugging me tightly as if never letting go.

“But what boyfriend calls his girlfriend sexy…?”

“…It was timing to show sincerity. Please don’t be disgusted.”

“What’s there to be disgusted about…”

“No, both reasons I gave were too…”

“Oppa.”

Ye-rin stood on tiptoes and lightly kissed my right cheek.

Then smiled bashfully, holding me in her pink eyes.

“Don’t worry, you’re not the only one thinking like that…”

“…Huh?”

Hiccup-

I hiccupped involuntarily.RetryClaude can make mistakes. Please double-check responses.