Chapter 55: Girl in the mirror

I was momentarily at a loss for words.

The words Iris had thrown at me were a shock that was difficult to accept soberly.

If Viviana treated me like a whore, then Iris was openly saying it to my face.

A painful truth I never wanted to face unfolded before my eyes.

My chest ached, and I tried to smile, but a smile refused to form on my frozen face.

“…Your words and actions are excessive, Iris. Would it be alright if I shared this with Lady Viviana?”

I barely managed to counter with a voice and gaze that were as cold as ice.

But despite my threat, Iris snorted and sneered at me.

“Go ahead, tell her.”

“What?”

“Try tattling on me. It won’t change anything, after all.”

“…What makes you so confident?”

“I wish you knew your place. Stop wasting the lady’s time. Do you even realize how busy she is?”

Iris’s boldness far surpassed my imagination.

Could she be an illegitimate child of the Duke’s family, or the offspring of some other powerful household?

…Or perhaps—

A sudden hypothesis came to mind, but I quickly dismissed it.

They wouldn’t assign a secret weapon, one not to be trifled with even in a game, to serve me.

“…Does Lady Viviana know you’re like this?”

“Hmm, she probably does.”

Iris seemed to think for a moment before continuing with a sneering smile.

“Then, should I call the lady here?”

“…What?”

“Wait here for a moment.”

With a voice that bore no emotion, Iris left the room.

Left alone in the bedroom, I stared blankly, trying to grasp the situation.

Did she really go to bring Viviana?

I couldn’t understand Iris’s behavior at all.

Why had she suddenly turned so hostile?

Had she been dissatisfied with serving me all this time, just like Cyrille?

“…Annoying. I won’t let you get away with this, Iris.”

It doesn’t matter.

No matter who Iris is, I have no reason to care.

In the end, she’s just a servant of Viviana, and Viviana is deeply enamored with me.

If Viviana finds out that Iris insulted me by calling me a whore, Iris won’t be able to escape Viviana’s wrath.

At that time, I will ask Viviana to banish Iris from this mansion forever, never to set foot in the Duke’s estate again.

I’ll laugh heartily at Iris’s regretful face, and even if she clings to my ankles and begs for forgiveness, I won’t forgive her.

I was sure of it in my heart.

Viviana has given her heart to me, so she will surely take my side.

Ignoring the anxiety rising within me, I looked at the mirror and faintly smiled.

***

“Just make up and end it.”

Thud—

Viviana spoke in a low, annoyed voice.

Her indifferent tone made my heart feel like it sank to the bottom of my chest.

Unable to accept Viviana’s words, I grabbed her sleeve with trembling hands.

“Vi-Viviana… You called me a whore. Do you know how hurt I was?”

Viviana shot a sharp glare at Iris.

“We’ll talk later.”

“Yes, my lord.”

Although the air was cold, it wasn’t to the extent I had expected. I thought she would drive Iris out with a murderous look in her eyes, but it seemed like it would end with just a few scoldings.

If you hear someone call the person you like a whore, isn’t it normal to get angry…? So why is she trying to end it like that?

And now she says she wants to talk with Iris alone, without me? I’m the one who’s hurt, so why is she meeting Iris alone?

“Tina, I’ll make sure to scold her properly, so don’t worry.”

Viviana was trying to reassure me, but instead, my heart ached even more.

This can’t go on. I can’t let it end like this.

If it ends like this, I can already see how much Iris will continue to look down on me in the future. Desperate, I clung to Viviana.

“Viviana?”

“Please kick her out.”

“What?”

“Please, kick Iris out of the estate.”

At my blunt statement, not only Iris but even Viviana seemed taken aback. Holding back the tears that threatened to burst forth, I looked straight into Viviana’s violet eyes.

Please, Viviana.

Just this once, be on my side.

I won’t see you as a fool anymore.

It will be hard, but I’ll try to be more honest with you.

I’ll try to lean on you more.

Because I’ve come to like you more…

So, please…

Just this once, be on my side.

Please…

“Um… Tina.”

But the moment I saw the troubled look flash across Viviana’s eyes, I instinctively realized it.

Viviana was not going to choose me.

“Iris may seem that way, but she’s quite capable in many areas. Kicking her out would be too much… I’ll make sure she never says anything like that again.”

A sense of detachment, as if my soul were leaving my body, washed over me. An indescribable emptiness and a feeling of loss weighed heavily on my chest.

Capable.

A word so distant from me, who knows nothing but how to act coy. If someone’s value is measured by their capabilities, then I am a being who doesn’t even deserve to live at the bottom.

Iris is capable. On the other hand, I am infinitely incompetent. That’s why Viviana didn’t choose me.

Iris was right. I am nothing more than a pet. A toy that is easily discarded after being loved for a while. That fact completely shattered even the faint self-esteem that remained in me.

The hand that was holding onto Viviana, along with my gaze, helplessly dropped to the floor.

My chest felt like it was burning as if molten lava had been poured into it, and my body was so weak that I couldn’t muster the strength to move a single finger.

What am I doing here?

“Pull yourself together. I’ll come back later.”

Viviana stroked my head once and then stepped out of the room. Iris hesitated in front of me for a moment, for some reason, before following Viviana out of the room.

My body slowly began to tremble.

Cold.

I wrapped my arms around myself. But the chilling shiver still clung to me, and my body couldn’t stop trembling.

I lifted my trembling body, laid it on the bed, and tightly wrapped myself with a blanket.

Yet, the cold remained.

No matter how much I rubbed my hands together, the cold just wouldn’t go away.

“Cold…”

I hate it. I hate this cold so much. I thought I wouldn’t have to feel it anymore…

At times like this, she was always… always by my side…

My breathing gradually became labored. I placed my hand on my stifling chest, got off the bed, and lay down on the cold floor.

Struggling, I crawled on all fours and sat down on a chair. A large mirror placed on the luxurious table was staring back at me.

When I placed my hand on the mirror, the girl inside reached out and took my hand.

“Help me…”

The only friend who had ever given me a beautiful smile, always by my side when I was alone. I bowed my head, remembering her.

“Help me… I’m so tired… I feel like I want to die again…”

I called out to her desperately, but no answer came back.

Of course. She couldn’t possibly be here. The woman in the mirror, with blue eyes and snow-white hair, was ‘me.’

Realizing I could never see her again, tears I had held back finally welled up in my eyes.

“Sniff… sob…”

Once the tears started, there was no stopping them. I couldn’t bear to see myself weeping so pathetically, so I covered my mouth with my hand and bowed my head deeply.

Anyone… Someone, please show me affection… Even just a little bit of care…

“Don’t cry.”

Then, a voice came.

A voice I missed so much, one I had yearned for with all my heart.

I turned my head and looked at the mirror with wide eyes.

I was still there in the mirror.

But it wasn’t me.

It wasn’t the pathetic, teary-eyed, weak version of myself, but a girl with a tender, gentle smile.

“Huh…?”

“Why are you crying again?”

“Huh, what…?”

The girl in the mirror gave a faint smile. But instinctively, I knew who she was.

In the girl’s blue eyes, there were black stars that warmed the heart, even in the darkest of skies.

“You, is it really you…?”

The girl in the mirror nodded.

“Yes. But you can’t see me right now.”

“H-how…? How can I see you?”

The girl in the mirror fell silent for a moment. Her dark stars gazed at me for a while. Afraid she might disappear, I grasped the hand pressed against the mirror even tighter.

“You just need to break like before.”

The girl in the mirror smiled enigmatically. It was as if she knew something I didn’t.

“Then, see you next time.”

“W-wait…”

I desperately called out to her while staring at the mirror, but the girl’s eyes, as if they were still mine, continued to shine with that blue light.

But I didn’t feel lonely anymore. I wasn’t cold anymore.

She was here.

Here with me, in this world.

Knowing I wasn’t alone anymore, I found the strength to open my eyes wide once more.

If she could be by my side again.

I could find the courage again.

The condition to meet her was the same as before.

To break down.

Luckily, I knew exactly how to do that.

“Yes… I’ll break down even more.”