Struggling (6)

Suddenly.

When I came to my senses, it was a familiar situation.

Erica and I were close together, not even a hand’s width apart, and her warm touch was caressing my chest.

“…..Ah, ugh.”

“Oh, does it hurt?”

“No….. it’s okay.”

I wish it would hurt more.

I wanted to be abused while completely restrained, claiming it was the punishment I deserved.

But I couldn’t say such things.

It was obvious she would worry.

Or she might caress me using kindness as a weapon.

“What are you thinking about?”

“Naughty thoughts.”

“…..You’re not thinking about me like that, are you?”

“…….”

I didn’t say anything.

Suddenly, a stinging sensation rose. Rough hands were violating my chest.

“No. No. It hurts. Stop. Stop.”

“Hmph.”

Avoiding her half-lidded eyes, I glanced around.

It was chaotic.

There were medics leading injured people onto stretchers, and agents searching the surroundings.

There was some noise, but it wasn’t that loud.

It was quiet. A cool breeze blew.

And then I felt a warm temperature again.

This time, a shallow pain enveloped my abdomen.

“Agh, ugh…..”

“Did it hurt? Just bear with it a little, just a little bit…..”

“It’s okay. More, do more…..”

“Don’t say weird things.”

It seemed the aftereffects of pulling out the 7 daggers stuck in my abdomen had come again.

Erica was abusing my abdomen with clumsy hands, saying she was giving first aid, but there wasn’t really a need for that, though I didn’t say so.

Because even this moment was too joyful.

Being cared for by the person I love was really, while feeling fluffy.

Too good.

It was so good that I couldn’t stop a silly laugh from escaping.

“He, hehe.”

“…..Is that perhaps your preference? Looking at your face, you seem to be in a lot of pain…..”

“What kind of preference do you like?”

Erica flinched and averted her gaze.

“Umm….. Ah, no, why are you asking such a thing!”

“Everyone has at least one unique preference they want to hide.”

“I don’t have anything like that.”

“Really?”

I smiled slightly.

“You know, my wounds are hurting so much from your touch right now, but I’m enduring it.”

Erica hurriedly removed her hands.

“I thought you were causing pain on purpose.”

“Ugh….. They said this spell would only hurt a little at the initial stage….. What did I do wrong…..”

“Your flustered look is cute too.”

“D-don’t say weird things. I’m looking for another method.”

Seeing her groaning and holding her head, I grabbed both her hands.

A bewildered expression was visible.

“It’s okay.”

“Doesn’t it hurt…..?”

“It’s okay if it’s you. Make it hurt more.”

Slightly trembling hands tormented my abdomen. Soon pain came, but it was bearable.

“Just endure a little. This level of rupture needs to be treated for a long time….. but, but if you just endure a little it’ll be fine…..”

Maybe because she’s a swordswoman, she doesn’t seem to have talent in healing. Is she the hard-working type? That’s similar to me in its own way.

“Ugh, uck, hyaak.”

Soon, groans burst from my mouth.

It’s something that would recover quickly in a few hours. Is it because she doesn’t know my body? Or does she know and is doing it more?

Anyway, since she’ll kill me someday, it wouldn’t be bad if some sadistic tendencies were added.

It hurts.

It hurts so much.

“Aagh…..! I touched the wrong spot! What should I do…..”

But it’s good. I wish time would just stop like this forever.

Our gazes met. I smiled slightly.

“N-no. It’s okay. It won’t hurt anymore now. You trust me, right?”

“Yeah. I trust you. I trust Erica.”

Her hands flailed in the air. She seemed to have lost her bearings.

It’s not particularly trustworthy.

“Haak. Agh. If you want to hear my moans, ah. Agh. Hyuk. In my house’s bed….. Aagh!”

“No! No. That’s not it! But, but why is this so…..”

She’s usually good at her job, but she’s a fool when it comes to this kind of thing.

That’s cute too. But it hurts.

A lot.

“Wait a moment. I can do it. Bear with it. Okay? You can bear it, right? You’re bearing it? Orli?”

Watching her pupils shaking countless times, I realized.

This is dangerous.

I quickly grabbed both of Erica’s arms and removed them from my body.

“It’s okay. This will heal cleanly after a few hours.”

“Wh-what? Really?”

“Yeah.”

Looking at her delicate hands, they were covered in blood.

It was a shame.

I brought my mouth to them. After lightly kissing her palm, I stuck out my tongue and started licking.

From bottom to top, from top to bottom.

“Uh, huh? Eek!? Wh-what are you doing?!”

“Slurp. Mmm.”

The soft sensation stimulated my tongue. Even the blood I tasted was incomparably sweet.

My brain rang and shook. It’s thrilling.

It would have been better if it was Erica’s blood.

“Wait! Wait a moment. There are too many people around, ugh.”

“Making my moans slurp. Mm. All audible is okay…..?”

“The sound! The sound was quiet so it’s okay…..!”

I think you should put up with this much whining since you hurt me.

Feeling her resistance trying to escape, I pulled harder.

Soon, as if she had given up, her trembling hand was led to my mouth.

“Ugh, hick!”

I put her index finger in my mouth and rolled it with my tongue. The twitching sensation was ecstatic.

“…..Haa. I ate well….. urp.”

“…..You’re really a pervert.”

My lips were pinched with her fingers. When her sidelong glance met mine, I smiled slightly.

The collapse of her cool image gave a different kind of pleasure.

A moment of silence.

I dry heaved. Dark liquid overflowed. It dirtily soaked the floor.

I grabbed Erica’s shoulders as she called my name urgently.

My body is seizing again.

It should be fine since I collected a lot of reserves today.

Why does this happen at times like this?

It always happens only when I’m under her gaze.

I can be careful next time.

If I try, I won’t be discovered.

“Erica.”

So I called her name.

“Yes?”

“I believe you’ll kill me someday.”

I sincerely hoped.

I raised my head. A bewildered emotion flashed across her for a moment.

The commotion around us was heard. Healing currents tickled my nose and the groans of the injured echoed in the room.

“People are in so much pain, because of me.”

Suddenly.

When a short pain burst in my heart, I didn’t want to think about anything.

“I don’t know.”

So it was difficult to accept her following question. Even her voice changed to a faintly flickering tone.

“I don’t understand you at all when you say such things.”

“You who hate me don’t need to care about it. Your duty is set just by our relationship.”

“That’s unfair, isn’t it?”

What. What does that mean?

“If you hide everything like that and don’t say anything, nothing will be resolved. We’re just being dragged along by each other using this relationship as an excuse.”

“Predicted procedures and set conclusions are like that.”

A small argument started. An invisible blade was swung.

Watching Erica turn her head towards me, I suddenly felt sad.

I opened my mouth inevitably.

“What should I say?”

Silence brushed past.

“I’d like you to tell me anything.”

Erica smiled slightly. I met her warm gaze.

“I’m not asking for much. Even just what you can tell me is fine. What you like, how you usually spend your time.”

She didn’t tackle the fundamental question. Maybe because she knew I wouldn’t say it.

Instead, she tormented me with cozy consideration and warmth.

I resisted.

“I don’t have anything like that.”

“You’ve been full of questions from the beginning until now.”

Erica trampled me. It felt like being trapped in a dead-end alley.

“I want to know even small things.”

“Is this also you humoring me?”

“No?”

Her voice was firm. Suddenly, I wanted to throw a tantrum.

But I didn’t.

“It’s just my wish. Pure curiosity.”

“You weren’t like this at first.”

“There’s no relationship where you’re interested in the other person from the beginning.”

Is that so?

It wasn’t particularly resonant. I wasn’t the type to get along with others since the game era.

“Fate, relationships, they seep into each other slowly. Knowingly or unknowingly.”

“What are you trying to say?”

“Are you throwing a tantrum now?”

“Are you going to get angry?”

Erica sighed. I wanted to hold even that air in my mouth.

“I don’t get angry over things like that.”

Wanting to be caressed, I pulled Erica’s hand. But she avoided my touch.

“Don’t you think it’s bad to do this while not listening to what I say?”

“What was the topic again?”

“I asked you to tell me about yourself.”

I was reminded of myself eagerly approaching her until just a moment ago. But now I don’t know why I’m avoiding her.

“I’m Orli.”

“And?”

“I’m a woman.”

“Also?”

“I like Erica.”

“……And?”

“I love her.”

A moment of silence came.

“…..Where did it go wrong?”

It seemed like she was talking to herself, but I heard it clearly.

“…..The same method doesn’t work anymore. Every time we talk, you keep trying to escape somewhere. Did you think I wouldn’t know?”

“Yeah.”

“Geez. I can’t believe this.”

Her cheeks were red.

I watched quietly for a moment.

“Why are you suddenly like this?”

“What do you mean?”

“Why, why are you doing things you didn’t do before?”

A bit of sharpness was added. I’m sorry.

“There are times like that, aren’t there?”

Erica said that and met my eyes again.

“And that face. It looks like you’re about to cry at any moment. I’m not the kind of person who can coldly ignore that…..”

I didn’t particularly feel like crying. It seems that when my body sometimes seizes, my face contorts in pain and looks like that.

“It’s a misunderstanding. It’s because the wound in my abdomen hurts. Because of someone.”

“Th-that, I’m sorry.”

“If you’re sorry, stroke me.”

I pulled her hand for the second time.

She avoided my hand. The air was caressed.

“I’m not done talking yet? I asked you to tell me about yourself.”

“This much is obsession.”

“You were the one obsessed with me from the beginning, weren’t you?”

Is that so?

I let out a faint sigh. During the momentary silence, I slowly turned my head.

“I.”

“Yes.”

“I like Americano.”

“Yes.”

“I like taking walks.”

“And?”

I tapped Erica’s fingers carefully. After a faint sigh, our fingers intertwined.

“Sometimes….. I study magic too.”

“Is it like a hobby?”

“Something like that.”

Suddenly feeling good at the considerable interest, I wondered if Erica’s mood had lifted due to the aftereffects of the battle.

People seem to be like that. Although I didn’t know much about others, and I realized love belatedly,

It seemed that Erica also had something called whimsicality.

“I also study about races.”

“Do you like studying?”

“Not particularly. It’s just the only thing I can do.”

“I see.”

Erica nodded. Usually, she would have taken out a notebook, but she didn’t.

Suddenly, a memory of walking on the street in the past flashed by. What was I thinking then?

“Many things…..”

“Many things?”

“I want to try, a little more, many, many, um, something.”

Though I spoke vaguely, I didn’t know exactly what I wanted to say.

I was so young and foolish.

Our fingers were completely intertwined. The sensation of her palm pricked my nerves.

It feels good.

“You can start from now on. With me.”

I unknowingly closed my mouth.

A bewildered voice was heard.

“Ah, of course. That. I-it’s in the dimension of handling you, that’s it. Because I’m humoring you.”

“Right. Because the Association will be in danger if you don’t treat me well.”

I felt her touch. My cheek was caressed and soon my ear was tickled.

I closed my eyes and hugged Erica.