Chapter 54: Only For Me

On the way home from school.

Under the red-stained sky, I walked out through the school gates.

Jian was beside me, grinning from ear to ear— she had been smiling all day, as if something had made her endlessly happy.

I turned my head slightly and glanced at her.

Her lips couldn’t stop curling up, and she kept giggling to herself.

Every now and then, she’d turn her head to check my reaction before breaking into another smile.

Seriously… was she really that happy?

I sighed for no reason and looked straight ahead.

Then, the scene from earlier in the hallway flashed through my mind—

No, more precisely, the words I had said came back to me, and my legs nearly gave out.

“It’s a problem if you keep being this cute.”

“I can’t just ignore how flustered you get.”

“It’s way too adorable.”

…Ugh.

Why did I say that?

Why did I actually say it out loud?

My whole body cringed so hard I felt like folding in on myself.

If Omurice (a personification of an omelet rice) saw me like this, would they even recognize me as a friend?

I tried to shake off the ridiculous thoughts, but it didn’t work.

My own words kept replaying in my head on a loop.

I think I even smiled a little at the end.

Ugh, seriously— what did Jian’s face look like when she heard that?

No, wait, what did my face look like?

I stole another glance at Jian, who was blissfully unaware, still glowing with happiness.

Annoyingly enough, she looked genuinely pleased.

Her cheeks were flushed, and her eyes were soft and relaxed.

What in the world was making her so happy?

Was what I said really that big of a deal?

…Well, I guess it’s good that she’s happy.

Still, seeing her smile so carefree—

It was kind of irritating.

But strangely,

It was also nice to see.

Looking at Jian, so genuinely happy, made the words I had said earlier feel less like “cringey regrets” and more like “maybe I did okay.”

…Well,

At least today wasn’t a complete disaster.

Walking side by side with Jian, I turned my head slightly.

Then, casually, I changed direction.

Behind the thick ivy-covered wall— as if parting a curtain— I pushed aside the vines slightly, revealing a hidden shortcut.

Sunlight seeped through the gaps in the brick walls, and the gravel path beneath our feet glistened faintly with dew.

A small, quiet alley.

Just stepping into it felt like the air of the world had changed.

The noise of the city, the footsteps of people— none of it reached here.

Even the air felt softer.

The light was warmer,

The sounds faded,

And even the wind seemed to blow in from another world.

A short, narrow path.

Inside, it was quiet like a secret, beautifully hidden.

Ivy cascaded down the walls,

And between the cracks in the bricks, tiny wildflowers peeked out.

Almost no one ever walked here,

Making it feel like a space meant just for the two of us.

A narrow path.

Walking side by side, our shoulders kept brushing.

Fortunately— or perhaps unfortunately—

Jian walked ahead first.

“That’s a relief.”

I muttered to myself.

At least we wouldn’t keep bumping shoulders,

And it wasn’t like I couldn’t see her face either.

But…

Why does it feel so strangely empty?

I wanted to walk together a little longer.

At the same pace, with the same gaze.

Just as I was thinking that—

Jian suddenly stopped walking.

I had no choice but to stop as well.

She slowly turned her body toward me.

Her eyes held a determined glint, as if she had made up her mind about something.

There was no playfulness in them.

She looked serious, almost solemn.

“Wait a second.”

She stepped closer to me.

Then—

Suddenly, she grabbed my tie.

“…?”

With a slight tug, she pulled me toward her, closing the distance between us in an instant.

My heart lurched, pounding wildly.

Her face was now right in front of mine.

Close enough to feel her breath.

A distance where, with just one step forward, we’d be touching.

A dangerous distance.

The sunlight dyed the ends of her hair a golden hue,

and in her large, clear eyes, my reflection was vivid.

The image of me in her pink-tinted irises felt entirely different from looking into a mirror.

From this close, Jian was far more beautiful than usual.

The shadow of her eyelashes fell on her cheeks,

The corners of her eyes slightly upturned,

Her lips pressed tightly together, trembling faintly.

She was—

Undeniably cute, undeniably pretty.

But right now,

She looked so serious it was almost intimidating.

“Just…”

Her voice was low.

“Why do you always act so unfair?”

For a moment, my mind went blank.

Unfair…? What?

As I stood there stunned,

Jian tugged my tie again,

As if making sure I couldn’t escape.

“Do you think it’s cute? Watching me fumble like that?

You just say it right to my face?

My heart almost stopped, you know?”

Her voice was quiet,

But there was unmistakable anger laced within it.

Resentment, embarrassment, hurt—

All mixed together, spilling out in trembling fury.

“…What’s wrong all of a sudden?”

The distance between us was close enough for our breaths to collide.

And that breath—

It was far warmer and sweeter than I expected.

A faint peach-like scent,

Not carried by the wind but clinging directly to my skin.

At that moment, a shiver ran down my spine.

Her eyes were locked onto mine,

Her lips parting slowly.

“…I lost your first.”

For a second, my breathing slowed.

My throat felt dry,

My lips tingling with dryness.

“…What?”

“Stunned” didn’t even begin to cover it.

The words arrived in my mind far too slowly.

She tilted her head slightly and continued.

“You’re not pure anymore.

You’ve been tainted.

I wanted to take all of your firsts for myself.”

The more she spoke,

The more my breath tangled in my chest.

Her exhales brushed precisely against my cheek.

Each word carried a faint warmth,

Settling softly against my skin.

Then, her voice dropped even lower.

“I wanted to be the first to cover you completely.”

I swallowed hard.

There was nothing else I could do.

The sentence was clearly simple Korean.

I knew every word.

But the meaning of it…

Spread through me like a strange vibration rising from somewhere deep in my body.

As if the air currents had shifted.

Her voice was speaking words,

but I wasn’t hearing them— I was feeling them.

A peculiar warmth crept up along my skin.

Too soft to call it tension,

too deep and quiet to call it excitement.

She still hadn’t let go of my tie.

From close up casually,

With an unbearably serious expression.

Looking at that face,

I genuinely wondered—

just what kind of thoughts were running through her head?

Suddenly, the thought of peeking into those complex, unpredictable circuits felt natural.

“Today was the first time someone confessed to you, right?

I… wanted to be the first.”

Eian’s voice dropped slightly.

A faint tremble in her brows, the slightest hesitation at the end of her words.

A little disappointment, a little embarrassment— her raw feelings seeped through.

At that,

A quiet laugh escaped me before I could stop it.

Because she was cute.

Really, unbearably cute.

Her way of expressing herself was always exaggerated and absurd,

But I knew her heart was always sincere—

That translucent honesty kept tugging at me.

But my laughter seemed to be the problem.

“…You’re laughing? You think this is funny?”

Her eyes widened as she glared.

I playfully tilted my head.

“But you weren’t the first. Someone else… said it before. That they liked me.”

The moment those words left my mouth,

Eian’s face froze instantly.

“…What?!”

And then—

“You damn playboy!”

A genuinely shocked expression.

Deep wrinkles forming on her forehead, a disbelieving glare.

And the word “playboy” at the end stuck with oddly vivid energy.

Barely holding back a smirk,

I quietly pulled my phone from my pocket.

Before she could say anything else,

I quickly dialed a number,

and soon, Eian’s phone rang.

Frowning, she answered.

Then,

I spoke.

“I like you.”

Only after saying it did I finally feel like I could breathe again.

The voice delivered through the call was something I couldn’t hear myself, but her reaction was unmistakable.

Her scrunched-up face

started softening on its own,

Even though she hadn’t said a word.

Her expression melted slowly,

And the reddening tips of her ears were more honest than any words.

“Wh-what…

This doesn’t mean I’m not mad anymore, okay?

And… why’d you call me all of a sudden—”

I said quietly,

“I hope you don’t forget today’s call.”

She didn’t answer.

Instead, she sharply turned her head away.

Seems like she finally realized who that “someone else” was.

Her lips were still jutting out in a pout,

But the red creeping up her ears was unmistakable.

Even though there was no wind, that faint blush was answer enough for today.

Pretending to quicken her steps,

The tips of her ears grew increasingly red.

I quietly swallowed my laughter.

Then slowly caught up to walk beside her.

“But…”

I lightly opened my mouth.

“Earlier… your face got a little red, didn’t it?”

Without even looking at me, she snapped back.

“It wasn’t red.”

“Really? I saw it.

From here, all the way to here.”

I swept my finger from my ear to my cheek.

At that, she stopped in her tracks.

“…You’re seriously annoying.”

Then she strode ahead again, steps heavy.

I shrugged and followed, continuing.

“Oh, right.

By the way… a confession should be done properly.

Doing it over the phone is cheap, you know.”

“What?”

“I said doing it over the phone is kinda cheap.

At the very least, you should say it in person… while looking into their eyes.”

At those words, she stopped again.

Slowly turning to face me, her expression was filled with disbelief,

As if saying, “Are you seriously saying this right now?”

I subtly lowered my head.

Putting on an exaggerated pout—

Letting the corners of my mouth droop slightly, eyes cast downward.

Very… visibly.

She looked at me, sighed,

And roughly ran a hand through her hair.

“…You’re seriously playing dirty. Fine.

I’ll do it. Happy now?”

She kicked the ground once and muttered under her breath.

“I’ll make sure you’re so flustered you lose your mind during my confession. Just wait. Your face will turn so red you’ll freeze up completely. I’ll make you feel it!!”

Her tone was grumbling.

But hidden within it was a small, adorable sincerity.

Suppressing a laugh, I casually added,

“But hey… don’t go acting like that with anyone else.”

She furrowed her brows and glared at me.

“…What? Are you jealous?”

I shrugged once and tilted my head slightly.

“I’ll leave that to your interpretation.

If you think it’s jealousy, then it is.

If not, then it’s not.”

She exhaled a beat later,

Bit her lip lightly, and muttered under her breath.

“…I already told you.

I only act like this with you.”

As soon as those words left her mouth,

She whipped her head away and marched ahead.

A breeze passed by, rustling her hair.

Her small shoulders were still squared defiantly,

And though she didn’t look back,

I could picture how tightly her lips were pressed together.

But my feet didn’t move.

I stood there, frozen in place.

My heart— right in the center of my chest thumped loudly.

My heart is pounding—

And for the first time,

I realized how true those words were.

Soundlessly,

It felt like my breath had stopped for a moment,

And strength left my limbs.

My fingertips trembled slightly.

My mind went blank,

And her words kept echoing in my head.

“Only with you.”

My lips felt dry, so I unconsciously licked them,

Then slowly adjusted my glasses.

Even that habitual motion felt slower than usual today.

And then,

I raised both hands

And covered my face as if washing it.

It was burning.

My cheeks, my forehead, even my ears.

It was a relief that she was walking ahead with her back turned.

This face— if she saw it now—

She might have burst out laughing for real.

I pressed my lips tightly together,

Then let out a quiet, shaky breath.

Can a heart really flutter this much?

Seriously, how is this even possible?

She was still strutting confidently ahead,

And even that felt strangely endearing.

And then I—

Briefly imagined her, saying those kinds of things to someone else—

And it felt like my breath was punched right out of me.

Honestly.

Just like she said,

I wish she’d save those words for me alone.