Outsider (Former)

It wasn’t difficult to understand why the red eyes before me were trembling.

The fact that he was seeing my first playthrough self overlapping with my current appearance.

Perhaps because of that, I couldn’t immediately answer the question about my identity.

I also knew that no matter what answer I gave, I couldn’t convince him at once.

All I could do right now was not avoid the gaze looking down at me.

Thus, although only a few seconds had passed in reality, it felt like hours had gone by.

My mouth still wouldn’t open easily.

But I knew that eventually I would have to speak.

“I am… me.”

I uttered a simple answer that even Rayner couldn’t say was wrong.

Then I slowly reached out and grasped Rayner’s somewhat stiffly frozen hand.

And, tap.

For the first and last time, I pulled the hand of the person I least wanted to befriend in the world to touch my cheek.

What I wanted to convey wasn’t fragments of the past but the warmth that I, in the present, possessed.

“Even if I originally had a different name, right now I’m Lua. And I’ll continue to be Lua in the future.”

I’ve lived as Lua since falling into this world that’s different from the one I had been living in.

Sure, at first I tried to return to my original life, but… not anymore.

If everyone has their own purpose in life, my current purpose isn’t to recover something but to protect it.

“So, please… help me. I don’t want to let even a single person die.”

Since deciding I would do anything to protect those I’ve come to cherish, I’ve worried, but I haven’t regretted it even once.

Staying beside someone who keeps trying to cross the line, and seeing them off without showing any displeasure even at the moment of farewell.

Going to someone called eccentric, and obtaining tools whose safety hasn’t been verified.

Heading toward a powerful person for whom the concept of an equal opponent doesn’t exist, fighting with my life at stake, and then bowing my head before that enormous figure to make a sincere request.

All of these were things I willingly did for the sole purpose of protecting precious people.

After starting on the path toward that one and only purpose, I never looked back even once.

Breaking promises again with the most precious person, and deceiving even the people who have always treated me warmly.

All behaviors and actions far from those of an ordinary child.

Although it was all to protect others rather than for my own selfish desires… it would be difficult to be easily forgiven.

“But it doesn’t matter. As long as they can return alive, that’s enough.”

Being disappointed in me, scolding me, criticizing me, even imprisoning or monitoring me—all of these things are only possible if they’re alive to do them.

Of course, I couldn’t be certain whether I would still have no regrets after paying the price for the things I’ve done behind their backs…

But I can be certain that it’s tens or hundreds of times better than letting them die.

When you start to cherish even animals that can’t speak, you naturally don’t want to lose them. How much more so with grateful people who have only shown me affection.

People who ultimately gave me things I thought I would never have again.

Wouldn’t anyone in the world make the same choice?

“No matter what happens, nothing could be worse than those people dying.”

I’m still afraid of losing everything in a single moment. Just like in my childhood, which I can barely remember clearly anymore.

The precarious feeling of holding a small soap bubble in my hand.

Even if I’ve managed well up until now. I simply can’t help the anxiety about the uncertain future.

If I somehow, by chance, unintentionally make a mistake, it feels like everything will end.

I’m afraid that a distortion starting from something small and trivial might swell enough to ruin everything.

“But there’s no choice. There is no other way. No, even if there were, if I can’t think of it, it’s useless anyway.”

Either way, giving up was not an option.

Only I can do something about this.

If I stay in place out of fear of failure, nothing will change and everything will just end as is.

“Is this… enough of an answer?”

Only silence returned afterward.

Soon even the hand touching my soft cheek slowly fell away, returning to its original position.

Not long after that, thump.

The shadow that silently turned away from me and receded finally sat down in the luxurious leather chair beyond the antique wooden desk.

What I cautiously glimpsed from the side was the exact same posture as when I first faced Rayner in my first playthrough.

Aside from the expression lacking playfulness, the appearance completely similar to the first playthrough inevitably reminded me of unpleasant memories.

Nevertheless, somehow not showing any reaction, I also rose and walked step by step toward the president’s office desk.

And, rustle.

In front of the person who was still silently staring at me, I slowly bowed my head and asked once more.

“…Please help me.”

It was right after that when Rayner’s mouth, which had been closed for quite a while, finally began to open slowly.

However, from the first word, because of the somewhat unexpected term I heard.

“Name.”

“…Pardon?”

“You asked me to introduce you to students. I need to know who’s asking for the introduction before I decide whether to do it or not.”

After staring blankly for a moment, I hastily poured out names from my memory like a machine gun when he said to forget it if I didn’t want to say.

Not even a few seconds after that, beep.

The same names I had just mentioned were uttered from the mouth of the person who called the secretary who had briefly stepped outside the president’s office.

What followed was a question about how much time it would take to gather students who were all in different grades and classes.

“Hmm, how long will it take to bring them all here? Two hours?”

“No, one hour will be sufficient.”

“Okay then. Ah, if they ask why they were called, just tell them I have something I want to request.”

“Understood.”

After the footsteps of the person who had maintained a businesslike tone from beginning to end faded away outside the president’s office door.

Because he granted my request faster than I had expected, I managed to catch my slightly drifting mind and belatedly expressed my gratitude to Rayner.

“I-I’ll never forget this favor until the day I die!”

I used a slightly exaggerated expression out of surprise, but I didn’t think it would be a particular problem.

“Really? You won’t forget until you die?”

But as a result, it seemed like a little…

No, I had a feeling that quite a lot of problems might occur, so.

“Well, let’s test it then. Whether you forget the favor or not?”

“…Pardon? W-what do you mean?”

Seeing his face now containing Rayner’s unique mischievousness that made people nervous, cold sweat began to trickle down slowly.

The question that soon came was asking exactly what I planned to do with his students.

Since this was, in a way, a natural question for an Academy president, I had no choice but to slowly reveal my future plans.

“Hmm, it would be unreasonable to leave today. Those picky Holy Kingdom fellows won’t issue a visit permit right away.”

“I suppose that’s… right?”

“You’ll surely need time to persuade the students. Ah, and time to explain about the Tower too.”

“…What are you trying to say?”

“I’m trying to say that you, Lua, will have to stay at this <Itar Academy> for a while.”

The eyes that had been full of mischief until recently had now transformed into sinister eyes that were clearly plotting something suspicious.

Not even a few seconds after that.

The stories that began to be heard after not even 10 seconds had passed were the kind that lightly exceeded my expectations.

“As I said earlier, Lua, you’re an outsider.”

“It doesn’t matter much if you’re just visiting briefly, but continuing to stay at the Academy would inevitably cause some problems.”

“There’s a limit to the convenience I can provide as the Academy president. Therefore, if you want to continue staying at the Academy…”

“…If I want to stay?”

“The only way is to no longer be an outsider.”

Right after that, a document that had been tucked in a black folder was presented to me.

Since I still couldn’t guess what Rayner was trying to say, I started reading the document he handed me.

[Employment Contract (Contract Position)]

[Job Title: Personal Secretary]

[Work Location: Itar Academy President’s Office & Itar Academy Main Building]

[Job Description: Basically, the Academy President’s…]

Since the contents of the document were nothing but rather strange things.

I handed the document back to Rayner, saying that he seemed to have given me the wrong document.

And exactly one second later, I received it back again.

“It’s the right one. Ah, I didn’t give you a pen.”

Along with the words not to hesitate and to sign quickly.

In other words, he really meant to employ me as his personal secretary.

“What are you thinking…?”

“I’m thinking of putting you to work, Lua. Actually, considering what I’ve endured from your sister, this isn’t enough, but what can I do?”

At the voice so boldly telling me he was going to torment me, my gratitude toward Rayner literally melted away like snow.

“But don’t worry too much. I’ll send you off right away after the Holy Kingdom visit permit comes through.”

“…And until then?”

“Well… It won’t do you any good to hear about it in advance.”

“…………….”

He really is a person who can’t possibly be liked.

…May he step on a banana peel while walking.

And preferably fall hard enough to get a bump on his head.