Chapter 51: Plan
by AfuhfuihgsIs there a word more perfect than “plan”?
Beginning, middle, and end.
A plan was what had a profound impact across all of that rise and fall.
Whether you’re doing something small.
Or something massive.
Whether an incident breaks out.
Or an accident occurs.
If you have a counterplan for it, or a pre-written script prepared in advance, then theoretically, you could deal with anything that comes your way.
It’s just that ordinary people can’t see the future.
And because they can’t see the future, they can’t create a precise plan.
They fail not because they didn’t make an effort, not because they didn’t try, but because they couldn’t make an accurate and perfect plan.
But really, that’s to be expected.
Humans aren’t perfect.
And it’s because they’re not perfect that they’re called human.
If someone were perfect—could you even still call them human?
No, I personally don’t think so.
Isn’t that why people say that humanity is beautiful because it’s imperfect?
That phrase “human touch,” used when someone makes a mistake—it exists for a reason.
So.
The reason I’ve just wrapped up this boring and philosophical word—plan—with such grand packaging is because…
“Now, let’s make a plan.”
“···.”
Because our oh-so-proud princess forced me into a chair, saying we were going to make a plan.
Ugh, my legs hurt.
Probably because I was lying down for so long and suddenly sat up.
Ignoring the pain that was slowly creeping up from my legs, I looked at Christina, who was deep in thought, and asked,
“······You don’t already have a plan prepared?”
“It’s not that I don’t have one… I just don’t think it’ll work on that saint.”
As hopeless as that sounded, Christina was right.
Even with clear, high-quality evidence, there was no realistic way to beat Han-sia in a battle of public opinion.
The image she’d built. The good deeds that had spread far and wide.
The persona Han-sia had carefully crafted wasn’t something to take lightly.
There’s a reason people say it’s like trying to break a rock with an egg.
Sure, water puts out fire—but one bucket of water can’t put out a raging wildfire.
Christina hesitated, then opened her mouth slightly, looking troubled.
“The title of ‘saint’… it was way bigger than I thought.”
“Not even your royal connections can do something about it?”
“No. As frustrating as it is.”
“···.”
If she outranks a princess… just how much influence does she actually hold?
It made me feel a little resentful, honestly.
Why would someone like that bully someone kind?
Why would someone so respected by others torment me?
‘······Why else would she? Because of Kim Soo-ho.’
“···.”
“······?”
That thought made me glance over at the person who, in a way, was the root cause of everything.
Now that I think about it—yeah, it really is all because of him.
Han-sia’s descent into darkness was because of Kim Soo-ho.
Christina bullied me because of Kim Soo-ho.
Even the reason I came into existence… was because Kim Soo-ho abandoned ‘me.’
This guy’s totally a villain.
What kind of protagonist acts like this? He’s clearly the bad guy.
‘······Wait. He’s not the protagonist, is he?’
Yeah, come to think of it, that was true.
The novel I thought I’d read—the one where Kim Soo-ho was the protagonist—was all just a delusion I’d made up.
A mental barrier that had formed alongside me when I came into being.
A kind of self-hypnosis designed to make me believe I wasn’t one of Seo-yeon’s personalities, but someone completely separate.
I understood that on a rational level when I realized I was just one of Seo-yeon’s split personalities, but now that I was actually accepting it… it gave me chills.
So it was all a delusion.
I’d believed it so strongly because it felt so real.
······No, that’s not right.
It was real. The experiences of my past self were real.
Anyway.
Back to the point—what I’m trying to say is this.
Kim Soo-ho isn’t the protagonist.
Sure, he shines like one, and sure, he has the personality you’d expect from a typical novel lead…
But it was all just a coincidence.
His innate personality and talents just happened to align with my delusion, so I viewed him as the protagonist.
All those layers of inferiority from childhood.
The obsession that began when I entered the academy.
All the clingy, suffocating emotions that Seo-yeon had accumulated over time had simply latched onto Kim Soo-ho, turning him into the centerpiece of a fantasy novel.
‘······Wow.’
When I think about it like that, I’m honestly kind of amazing.
How do you even come up with something like this? If I had become a writer instead of enrolling in the academy, I probably could’ve made some serious money.
And I wouldn’t have ended up so frail, either.
If that had happened, maybe I wouldn’t be here now, waiting to die.
The illness I’d already confessed to both of them—my condition, mana intolerance—was a relatively “kind” disease, as long as I didn’t use mana.
Seo-yeon was the one who pushed that kind disease to its limits.
And it was all because of Kim Soo-ho, who was still standing there like he’d been hit by lightning.
“···.”
Even though I was staring at him so hard I could burn a hole in his face, Kim Soo-ho didn’t respond.
Just a little while ago, he was ready to beat the truth out of me if I didn’t tell him what my illness was.
But now that I’d said it myself, even coughing up blood to prove it… he’d been frozen in that same position for nearly thirty minutes.
So why the hell did he act like that earlier?
If he’d just stayed quiet, I wouldn’t have had to do something so stupid.
It’s not like I enjoy pain.
I didn’t do it because I’m some kind of masochist.
Call it karma.
Karma for pushing me like that out of his own damn curiosity.
Karma for completely rejecting the existence of the old Seo-yeon.
Some people might say I’m being too cruel to him.
That he’s someone who cares about me, someone who’s worried about me.
That even if I have bad memories from the past, he’s still someone who’s trying to protect me now.
People might say things like that.
Might criticize me for being heartless.
But I could only accept the truth.
Yeah. I am cruel.
Right now, I’m tormenting Kim Soo-ho with malice I don’t even need to feel.
But so what?
So what if I am?
Who made me like this?
Who turned Seo-yeon into this monster?
Of course, I don’t think it’s all his fault.
The biggest culprit—no question—is Han-sia.
Then Christina, who ruined Seo-yeon’s time at the academy.
The academy teachers who ignored Seo-yeon.
The students who went beyond ignoring her and actively bullied her.
Compared to them, Kim Soo-ho was honestly tame.
All he really did was push away a girl who clung to him.
Still, the reason I’m doing this is simple.
Because I was in more pain.
Because my suffering was far worse.
It’s a filthy, ugly emotion.
A sharp blade of resentment that says, I suffered, so you can suffer this much too.
Like I said before, I’m not a good person.
If anything, I fall into the category of “bad.”
No one calls someone like me—a person doing things like this—a good person.
I know I’m not normal.
I know full well that the things I’m doing are messed up.
But again, like I said before…
It was they who turned the kind, gentle Seo-yeon into this.
Just because she became a little clingy after growing distant.
Just because she was a childhood friend of the person someone else liked.
Just because she used to be the closest person to someone another person obsessed over.
Are those reasons more valid than my reason—because I was in pain too?
No. No way.
Maybe some people think so, but I definitely don’t.
Seo-yeon was hurt for no good reason.
She suffered and broke for reasons that didn’t make sense.
Even me.
Even I, the second personality born from Seo-yeon, was left damaged by the wreckage.
I remember.
I remember the violence I suffered from Christina’s followers.
I remember the lashings from Han-sia, who couldn’t tell me apart from Seo-yeon.
I remember Kim Soo-ho noticing that something had changed in me… and still doing nothing.
I remembered everything.
And because I remembered everything… I made a plan.
A simple plan.
Simple—but perfect.
“I have a plan.”
“Huh? Really?”
“···.”
“······Yes. Would you like to hear it? I think you’ll love it, Your Highness.”
A plan that would satisfy everyone.
Everyone who treated me like that in the past.
A plan that would satisfy even the present me—and Seo-yeon.
Haha.
A plan that satisfies everyone, huh?
Could anything be more delightful?
Well, I don’t even know what “delight” feels like anymore.
But maybe this feeling right now is what people call delight.
Even if it’s not, I want to believe it is.
And maybe I’m right.
Because, like I said before—there’s no word in the world more perfect than plan.
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