Chapter 50: “If You Mess with South Korea, World War-III Will Begin”
by fnovelpia
“We now welcome candidate Kang Jiwoo!”
The entrance of Kang Jiwoo was filmed in slow motion.
The camera panned from the bottom up, capturing Kang Jiwoo’s outfit:
Flashing LED sneakers, baggy pants, neon hiking jacket, star-shaped sunglasses, and a straw hat.
It was a perfect showcase of Level 999 veteran fashion.
But that wasn’t all.
Beep-beep-beep!
Kang Jiwoo played a recorder, celebrating their own entrance.
“Phuhit!”
“Hahaha!”
The two MCs burst out laughing immediately upon seeing this.
Even the staff’s muffled giggles were caught on camera.
Cheeky captions appeared on the screen:
[Insane Fashion!]
[Recorder Master!]
[Pink Vitamin!]
[Candidate Kang Jiwoo from the Future Marriage Ginkgo Korea Party!]
“Candidate, please have a seat here.”
“Yes!”
Kang Jiwoo, brimming with confidence, sat down.
Their excitement was evident as they fidgeted in their seat, which the camera caught perfectly.
“Please introduce yourself.”
“Hello~ I am Kang Jiwoo. Candidate number five. Thank you~”
Clap clap clap.
The MCs couldn’t hide their grins.
It was genuine laughter, with no hint of pretense or forced reactions.
“Ah, you’re just so adorable, I can’t even think straight.”
“Hehe…”
“I’ve hosted countless guests on this show, but you might just be the cutest of them all.”
“Th-thank you…”
Embarrassed by the compliment, Kang Jiwoo shyly bowed.
That gesture made everyone smile even wider.
The atmosphere was fantastic from the start.
The MCs, energized, launched into their comedic banter.
“Wow, you’re so cute it’s almost unreal. You’re not a robot, are you? Like something Elon Mengsk would build?”
“Joseph, what are you even saying? Calling the candidate a robot?”
“Well, I hate to say this, but after looking at the candidate, then at you, MC, you look especially bug-like today. Were you always this insectoid?”
“Joseph, you’re just as bad! Honestly, you look awful.”
As always, the MCs’ self-deprecating humor was a staple of the show.
“Now, let’s dive into the main interview. Candidate Kang Jiwoo, every move you make has become a hot topic. Let’s take a look at the footage.”
The screen transitioned to clips from Kang Jiwoo’s campaign trail:
The tongue twister challenge.
The teary hotdog incident.
JiwooPing’s Grand Adventure.
Endorsements from Elon Mengsk.
Debate highlights…
Every scene was a hit, though airing all of them would take at least three hours.
Ultimately, some clips were left for YouTube, while the best moments were edited for the show.
“The tongue twister challenge—this has become a huge trend among elementary school kids, hasn’t it?”
“Do you know the popular phrase, ‘Grateful Tree Korea Party’?”
“Joseph, what did you just say?”
“Oh, you don’t know? It’s trending among kids these days. ‘Grateful Tree Korea Party~’”
“Candidate, is this really a popular phrase?”
“Yes…”
Kang Jiwoo nodded shyly.
“Can you explain how it works?”
“When you speak, you just… add our party name at the end…”
“So you just add it to the end, like this: ‘Grateful Tree Korea Party?’”
“Yes… like that… Tree Korea Party…”
[This is the Latest Trend, Tree Korea Party!]
[This Is How Our Generation Plays, Tree Korea Party!]
Through the broadcast, Kang Jiwoo’s catchphrase gained even more popularity.
One of the MCs, while practicing the phrase, suddenly chuckled.
“But why is your party name so long? Future Marriage Ginkgo Korea Party—compared to other party names, it’s absurdly long.”
It was undeniably a mess of a name, lacking coherence and visually overwhelming.
“Well… it’s because Future Party, Marriage Party, Ginkgo Party, Korea Party… and many others… all came together. So, they combined everything…”
“I see. Usually, in such cases, the name is simplified. Was there a reason to keep it so long?”
Kang Jiwoo’s gaze wavered.
They seemed unsure how to answer.
Even if they knew the reason, it wasn’t something they could easily explain—it was the result of stubborn party members insisting on it.
Still, Kang Jiwoo felt they needed to respond.
After a brief pause, they finally said, “Uh… because a long name… is cooler…”
“Haha, that’s true. A longer name does make it stand out more.”
“A long name is cool.”
It was an answer only someone as pure-hearted as Kang Jiwoo could give.
“And wasn’t the scene of our candidate failing the challenge a big topic of discussion?”
“I saw it too! Chirp chirp! It was so adorable!”
As soon as chirp chirp was mentioned, Kang Jiwoo seemed to shrink in her seat.
She dropped, like a wilting plant.
“I usually do better than that…”
“Ah, so you normally do it much better?”
“Yes… but the director only uploaded the parts where I messed up…”
“Then, shall we try the challenge again here today?”
“…!”
Kang Jiwoo straightened her back.
Her eyebrows curved into a sharp V, and she clenched her fists tightly.
Her unclear pronunciation was her complex, and she seemed eager for a chance to redeem herself.
“Let’s time it, then.”
“Ha-ahhh…!”
She took a deep breath.
To succeed in the challenge, she had to speak quickly and clearly.
“A…!”
The long-awaited rematch began!
“Chirp chirp! Chirp chirp!”
The screen suddenly cut away.
[Adjusting screen…]
[The candidate, disappointed in herself, has taken a moment of personal reflection…]
[Absolutely did not cry!]
When the screen returned, Kang Jiwoo’s eyes were slightly red.
Anyone could tell from her face that she had cried after failing the challenge.
The MCs, however, found her endearing and smiled warmly.
“We’ll leave the challenge for another time and move on for now!”
The interview continued, interspersed with footage of highlights from Kang Jiwoo’s campaign.
Clips included The Tearful Hot Dog and Jiwoo-ping’s Great Adventure, but the most extensively covered was the Stone Wall Challenge.
“The Stone Wall Challenge is trending globally. Are you aware of this candidate?”
“Yes, I was the first to do it, and now people are copying me…”
“It seems that small stone walls are being built all over the streets worldwide.
Major international outlets like CNN and BBC have reported on it. Your influence is incredible!”
Subtitles appeared alongside footage:
[A small stone wall built to protect wildflowers.]
[The world was moved by this beautiful gesture and joined the challenge.]
[Major international media outlets spotlight the trend.]
[Renowned political and social scientists discuss its significance, solidifying the candidate’s legendary status in politics!]
The scene transitioned back to the studio, where Kang Jiwoo and the two MCs stepped outside.
Walking hand in hand with the MCs down a picturesque trail, Kang Jiwoo created an image of warmth and camaraderie.
“We’re stepping outside to join the Stone Wall Challenge ourselves!”
“Oh, look, someone has already built a wall over there!”
“These days, it feels like there’s one on every street.”
“Shall we try it too? Could you teach us how to do it, candidate?”
“Yes! First, you gather stones…”
Typically, Young Quiz interviews ended indoors, but this special episode included a scenic walk to highlight the Stone Wall Challenge.
There was a reason for this extra effort:
[From K-dramas to K-movies, K-pop, and now K-politics…]
[Candidate Kang Jiwoo’s new political vision is inspiring the world!]
[Wave of patriotism~]
Nothing resonated quite like national pride.
And Kang Jiwoo’s brand of patriotism wasn’t contrived—it was genuinely impactful.
The challenge was truly trending worldwide, and K-politics was gaining attention from scholars and politicians alike.
“I have so much more I’d like to share, but unfortunately, we’re out of time. I hope we can invite you again soon.”
“If I become president, I’ll come back!”
“Haha, we’d love that!”
The broadcast began to wind down.
Kang Jiwoo’s total airtime was approximately 50 minutes, the longest ever for a single appearance.
“Young Quiz?”
“Yes!”
They had reached the final segment: the quiz.
“This person is the leader elected by the people, who makes important decisions for the country, engages in diplomacy, and works to improve the lives of its citizens. Who is this person?”
A confident look appeared on Kang Jiwoo’s face.
She smiled knowingly—clearly, she had the answer.
“Yes! Please tell us. What’s the answer?”
“Kang Jiwoo!”
“Wrong!”
“…?”
Kang Jiwoo’s expression froze in disbelief.
Speechless, she stared in shock.
The correct answer was the president!
Ah, I knew it but made a mistake…
It’s okay.
You’ll get it right next time you’re on the show!
Yes…
Exiting with a smile until the end.
[The unreleased footage of Kang Jiwoo will be uploaded to the Young Quiz YouTube channel!]
And so, Kang Jiwoo’s segment on Young Quiz came to an end.
Next up was Yoo Hangcheol’s segment.
Yoo Hangcheol, it’s truly an honor to meet you today…
Haha, honor?
Nonsense.
Yoo Hangcheol’s segment lasted only 10 minutes.
His actual screen time was reduced to just 8 minutes.
Yoo Hangcheol supporters, who had been convinced Kang Jiwoo’s part would be cut entirely, were left fuming.
Title: Abolish Young Quiz!
Shameless biased broadcasting by Young Quiz!
We must shut down this communist broadcast!!
I was watching the show and couldn’t believe it.
How much bribe money did you take from Kang Jiwoo?
The communist state of South Korea! Amazing!
The supporters were furious!
But that was the extent of it.
The world neither sympathized with nor paid attention to their anger.
Kang Jiwoo was undeniably on the rise.
Title: Current Status of Young Quiz Caught in Serious Fairness Controversy.jpg
(GIF of Kang Jiwoo answering a question on Young Quiz)
So the final answer was “Kang Jiwoo,” right?
Since he’ll be president soon, shouldn’t “Kang Jiwoo” also count as a correct answer?
Why mark it wrong and make Jiwooping sad?
Young Quiz, are you even trying???
This is it, lol.
LOL LOL LOL.
???: Young Quiz is canceled out of spite~
What the fuck!
What kind of poison is this?
LOL. Is this the ultimate troll?
Title: Today’s Death Sentence for Popular Phrases
(A screenshot of Young Quiz’s subtitle “Gratitude Tree Korea Party”)
‘Gratitude Tree Korea Party.’
R.I.P.
If something airs on public TV variety shows, that’s the end of it.
Ha…
This is so absurd, lol.
What kind of catchphrase is this?
My mom must’ve watched Young Quiz because she keeps saying, “Get a job, Tree Korea Party~ Move out if you’re like this, Tree Korea Party~”
This doesn’t seem like a catchphrase problem, lol.
Title: Current Status of Yoo Han-Rox’s Screen Time on Young Quiz
Total segment duration: 10 minutes
Actual screen time: 8 minutes
Time his face appeared on camera: 3 minutes
“3-minute dishes by Noyutgi (grasshopper),” LOL.
What the fuck!
Noyutgi is honestly cuter and better than Yoo Han-Rox, LOL.
Yoo Hangcheol became nothing more than a laughing stock.
The added bonus was that he earned a nickname people could mock endlessly.
But even the ridicule faded quickly.
For now, enjoying Kang Jiwoo’s popularity was far more entertaining!
Title: Real-Time Reaction of Elon Mengsk Watching Young Quiz
Elon Mengsk (CEO of Tesler)
(Translated)
Wow!
Jiwooping mentioned me on a TV show!
I was just “the American guy!” LOL.
What? Is he really this happy just because he was mentioned? LOL.
Is this for real?
This is hilarious, LOL.
Another update just dropped.
If Kang Jiwoo wins, I’m planning a visit to Korea and want to appear on Young Quiz then, LOL.
No
Way
WTF stop spamming
No, LOL (link)
??? What is this?
If Kang Jiwoo wins, can we actually see Elon Mengsk on Young Quiz?
Wow, that sounds
Super
Fun.
Title: Young Quiz Hits Record Ratings!
(Viewership graph)
Peak viewership reached 17.8%.
Nearly double the previous record of 9.5%.
The response was overwhelmingly positive.
As shown, it was evident from the ratings alone.
This episode caused a stir not just among online audiences but also on TV.
The attention of middle-aged viewers was particularly notable.
One person especially took notice of the phenomenon…
“Finally, on TV! Kang Jiwoo!”
Song Juhee.
A YouTube creator running a channel with 1 million subscribers focused on national pride (“gukppong”).
However, recent viewership figures made that 1 million subscriber count seem meaningless.
The decline in views was due to excessive and sometimes fake “gukppong” content.
The core issue, though, was the depletion of creative ideas for national pride content.
“I’ve been waiting for this day!”
To her, Kang Jiwoo was like an oasis in a barren desert, akin to a newly discovered gold mine.
There was a reason she had been eagerly anticipating the airing of Young Quiz.
Among her primary audience—middle-aged and older viewers—Kang Jiwoo’s image had not been particularly favorable.
But now, appearing on Young Quiz, Kang Jiwoo had shown his face to the public.
Even the most disliked person can become endearing over time.
Especially since he had gone out of his way to act cute, it was safe to assume the hostility toward him had eased.
“If I can’t make Kang Jiwoo a hit, this channel is done for…!”
This might very well be the last spark of Gukppong TV.
Song Juhee typed the title for her video:
“Please invade Japan… The story of young Japanese people sending an SOS to a South Korean presidential candidate?!”
Why did the BBC suddenly interrupt its regular programming and broadcast a special right after the South Korean presidential debate aired?
“An unprecedented event in human history.”
Elon Mengsk: ‘If anyone touches South Korea, World War III will break out. Tesla stands with South Korea.’
Around the same time, other “gukppong” YouTubers also flooded their channels with videos.
It was truly a mass distribution of Kang Jiwoo-themed “gukppong” content.
The next day.
Yoo Hangcheol plummeted to third place in the polls.
0 Comments