Chapter 49: What Should I Do?

The tears had stopped.

No, to be precise, it felt like there were no more tears left to shed.

When I closed and opened my eyes, my vision was slightly blurred.

Was it because of the tear stains, or was it just that my mind was foggy?

I took a slow breath in.

My chest felt lighter, yet strangely heavier at the same time.

People often say that after crying your heart out, you’ll feel relieved.

…But that wasn’t all of it.

Instead, an intense wave of post-crying clarity and overwhelming embarrassment crashed over me.

I blinked quietly in Lee Jian’s embrace.

Her hand was still patting my back—gentle movements, a steady rhythm.

Lee Jian didn’t say a word.

I inhaled sharply for a moment.

I should pull away now.

Slowly, very slowly, I withdrew from her arms.

Even so, her touch didn’t disappear right away.

Just a little longer, as if waiting—her lingering touch.

I wiped my face with my palm.

What the hell am I even doing?

I felt wretchedly pathetic.

Falling apart like this in front of someone else—I wasn’t used to it.

No, more than just not being used to it—

Had I ever broken down like this before?

All this time, I had always observed things from a step behind.

Backstage, behind the camera, always one step removed.

I only ever watched, never expressing or pouring out anything myself.

But now.

I had crumbled, and someone had seen it.

I rubbed my face again with my hand.

“Ah, seriously…”

I was so embarrassed I could die.

Really, why am I like this?

I lowered my hand and quietly looked at Lee Jian.

She was still watching me.

Not smiling, but not with a worried expression either.

Just a quiet gaze.

That gaze made it even more awkward.

I opened my mouth to say something, then closed it again.

I’d already shown enough emotion. I didn’t want to look any more pitiful.

But even so, I couldn’t do anything about this shame.

I lowered my head.

“…Forget it.”

“Forget what?”

“This. Just now.”

“Ah, you mean how you just clung to me and acted all needy?”

I flinched.

My head shot up.

“…Saying it like that makes it even weirder?”

“I’m just stating the facts.”

Lee Jian shrugged as she spoke.

I grabbed my head.

She let out a small laugh, then took a step closer.

“But.”

“…What.”

“That wasn’t so bad.”

I stared at her blankly.

“What wasn’t.”

“Just… leaning on me.”

She grinned playfully.

“I liked it. Felt like we got a little closer.”

At that moment, my heart plummeted for a second before pounding wildly.

Suddenly, it was like I was weightless.

A hot, unfamiliar sensation surged through my body.

I was momentarily speechless.

I didn’t know where to look, and my hands hovered uselessly in the air.

Now, beyond embarrassment, I was just flustered.

Did she say that without thinking? Or was it deliberate?

I stared at her without a word.

Then, she added softly,

“So… you can lean on me next time too.”

Her words quietly touched something deep in my chest.

As they sank in, a strange silence settled between us.

I was still looking at Lee Jian.

But then—

I suddenly felt the weight of someone’s gaze.

Slowly turning my head, Yoon Jihoo and Park Nayul were staring straight at us.

Lips tightly pressed, their eyes alone radiating an intensely meaningful atmosphere.

Though they didn’t say anything, their expressions said everything.

Nayul sunbae crossed her arms, raised an eyebrow slightly, and smirked.

Jihoo, also with his arms crossed, nodded and gave a thumbs-up.

…What the hell are they doing?

My face burned instantly.

I quickly turned my head away.

My neck prickled uncomfortably.

Luckily, Lee Jian was oblivious, still looking up at the sky.

But I already had a pretty good idea of what those two were thinking.

And so, under that strange atmosphere, I avoided their gaze without a word.

After that, we naturally parted ways without much conversation.

I slowly took a step forward.

Beside me, Lee Jian walked at the same pace.

Silently, in the same direction.

The fireworks had ended, and the city had returned to its usual silence.

In the distance, faint car sounds and the rustling of wind through the trees could be heard.

The sounds echoed low and quiet.

“Still, it’s a shame,” Lee Jian said.

“What is?”

“We missed the fireworks.”

At her words, I paused for a moment.

After all, it was my fault.

“…Let’s see them next time,” I replied.

“I won’t be late next time. I promise.”

Lee Jian stared straight at my face.

Her pink eyes shimmered quietly.

Then, she flashed a playful smile.

“I wanted to see your eyes light up when you saw the fireworks for the first time.”

I frowned.

“I’m not a kid. It’s not that big of a deal.”

“Hmm~”

Lee Jian poked my arm teasingly with her finger.

Her eyes narrowed with laughter, her expression mischievous yet strangely gentle.

I turned my head away, avoiding her gaze.

Every time her finger touched my skin, it sent a ticklish sensation through me.

I knew she was looking at me.

Why did her gaze make me so self-conscious?

I lowered my eyes naturally, covering them with my hand as I spoke.

“And it’s still new to me. I haven’t seen them yet.”

“Really, your first time? Not even on TV?”

“Why would I watch that?”

Lee Jian nodded as if she understood.

Then, as if remembering something, she asked again.

“Wouldn’t they be visible from your house window?”

“It was noisy, so I had the curtains closed.”

At that moment, Lee Jian’s face brightened.

She hopped excitedly, her expression full of delight.

“Yesss.”

I was momentarily taken aback.

“…Why? What’s so good about that?”

“It’s just nice.”

Lee Jian lifted her head and looked up at the sky.

Her arms spread wide.

The wind lightly tousled her hair.

Her silhouette stood out sharply under the streetlight.

I stared blankly at her.

Beyond her shoulders stretched the deep blue summer night.

Like an afterglow seeping into the quiet wind.

For a moment, I felt as if time had stopped.

Then, she slowly tilted her head and looked at me.

Our eyes met.

It felt like my breath had caught.

“There’s a thrill that only comes with first experiences,” she said softly.

“And the fact that I can share that with you—that’s what’s nice.”

Under the streetlight, her profile stood out vividly.

Her upturned lips, her hair fluttering in the wind, her face turned toward the sky.

I reached out toward her.

The ends of her long, swaying hair brushed against my forearm.

That subtle sensation lingered strangely clear in my mind.

Unconsciously, I clenched my fist.

As if trying to hold onto that feeling.

She was still looking at the sky.

Then, slowly, she turned her head toward me.

Our eyes met again.

I took a breath.

Her pink eyes glowed softly.

In the quiet night, her gaze seeped into me like an echo.

There were no fireworks in her eyes.

But there was something warmer than that.

I didn’t say anything.

I just looked at her in silence.

Yet, something inside me was quietly stirring.

Like gentle ripples spreading through water.

That emotion was slowly spreading somewhere within me.

My heart beat a little faster.

The sensation wasn’t unfamiliar or uncomfortable.

In fact, it felt natural.

As if it were meant to be.

I realized it then.

This feeling, this atmosphere—

It was excitement.

This moment, this emotion—

It was first love.

I lifted my head and looked up at the sky.

The fireworks were over, but the night sky still shimmered.

The stars twinkled, and faint moonlight spilled over the path.

It wasn’t as dazzling as fireworks bursting, but a soft glow lingered.

Just like the emotions seeping into my heart right now.

I smiled quietly to myself.

And then, I walked slowly beside her.

Side by side, we strolled through the summer night, just the two of us left behind.

The city slowly exhaled the heat it had held all day.

The asphalt still radiated warmth, not yet cooled, and under the streetlights, tiny insects cast faint shadows.

A breeze blew in, but it was too lukewarm to be called cool, and too gentle to be called hot.

The distinct summer air clung to my skin before slowly dispersing again.

The distant sound of cicadas was now just a faint echo.

In the night sky, small lights still lingered like an afterglow.

Those lights swayed hazily, refusing to fade away.

Somehow, they resembled the emotions still lingering inside me.

Without thinking, I twitched my fingertips.

I glanced to the side.

Lee Jian was there.

At that moment, I wanted to reach out for no reason at all.

Without hesitation, lightly—

Just like that, I took her hand.

Warmth spread from my fingertips.

She turned her head and looked at me.

Then, slowly, she interlaced her fingers with mine.

In that instant, a hot wind swept past.

I took a breath. Even the air felt vivid.

The lingering heat enveloping my body, the afterimage of flames not yet cooled, the trembling left in my fingertips—

Everything seeped in, scalding yet sweet.

I knew I wouldn’t forget this sensation, this moment.

It was summer.

The season where everything burned, everything became vivid, everything etched itself deeply.

And I stood right in the middle of it all.

Clearly, unmistakably.

So, before I knew it, the words tumbled out.

“I like you.”

Lee Jian stopped walking.

She slowly turned her head and looked at me.

“…Is this a confession?”

I hesitated for a moment.

I didn’t want to avoid her gaze, but I didn’t want to meet it directly either.

So I threw the question back instead.

“Do you want it to be a confession?”

“What if I do?”

Her answer made me laugh.

It felt so like her.

So I teased back playfully.

“Then… should I make it a confession?”

Lee Jian narrowed her eyes and glared at me.

“What’s that supposed to mean? Is it real? Or are you joking again?”

Questions poured out.

I was the one who cut them off.

“I mean it.”

For a moment, her eyes wavered.

“I-I knew it. You’re terrible at lying, you know. It’s always obvious. Back then, and now too.”

I’m bad at lying?

For some reason, my cheeks burned slightly.

I took a deep breath.

Then, as if exhaling, I said it carefully but firmly.

“I really like you. I like you so much.”

Instantly, her eyes widened.

Her small lips trembled.

“Me too…”

Just as her confession was about to spill out—

I shook my head lightly.

“No, I won’t accept it.”

“…?”

Lee Jian stared at me in confusion.

I chuckled and continued.

“I already took the first move here. What are you gonna do, Jian?”

She still seemed lost.

So I took a step closer and grinned familiarly.

“You always said you’d take all my firsts.

But now I’ve stolen the most important one from you.”

As soon as the words left my mouth—

Her face turned bright red.

She spun around like she was about to bolt.

“Hey, where are you—”

Before I could even finish calling out,

Lee Jian was already running far ahead.

I laughed to myself in disbelief.

But not long after, a message popped up on my phone.

Ding—

[Lee Jian]

→ [Just you wait.

I’ll prepare a way cooler confession than yours.]

Up ahead, Lee Jian stuck out her tongue at me, made a silly face, and then disappeared.

The sight made the corners of my mouth lift on their own.